


Jack's Samantha

by Irelandfaith1118



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-07
Updated: 2017-01-07
Packaged: 2018-09-15 10:09:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 26
Words: 115,104
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9230294
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Irelandfaith1118/pseuds/Irelandfaith1118
Summary: Jack knew he could not live without Samantha. Samantha knew she could not live without Jack. But it seemed between regulations, goa'ulds and a certain senator they were never going to survive this battle to be able to have a life together. Could they make it to the end of this last battle they were fighting - right here on earth.Thank you JackGywer for the awesome cover art and to RedneckDuckling for her awesome beta skills!





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [JackGywer](https://archiveofourown.org/users/JackGywer/gifts).



> [](http://www.directupload.net)

Prelude – Infirmary – SGC Headquarters  
The man’s head hit the concrete wall behind him again as the fist slammed into his face for what seemed like the hundredth time. He was not even standing on his own anymore. He was at least two feet off the floor as the beast of a man in front of him held him by the neck with one hand and pulverized him with the other. He had lost consciousness by now but the man doing the ponding did not really care. He was blind with rage. All he knew was that this piece of trash had violated his most precious jewel and you did not live after that.  
Teal’c and Daniel tried to grab Jacks fist before it slammed again, knowing that there was nothing left for Jack to hit. The man had slipped from Jacks grasp and laid crumbled at his feet but Jack had not even realized it. If they had not caught his arm, he would have crushed every bone in his hand when it collided with the concrete wall of the SGC. Daniel knew what Sam being hurt could do to Jack. Hell, he was Sam’s and Jacks friend and he will never forget the day that Jack thought Daniel had feelings for Sam other than friendship. He touched the tip of his nose as he remembered that huge fist coming at his face, several times before the security at the base pulled Jack off him. Yes, he remembered it well and knew that Jack had not even realized that day what he was doing nor could he control it. However, Daniel somehow knew it would not have mattered. If Jack felt that someone or something was threatening “his Samantha”, then God help them. He had proven this on numerous occasions on other worlds.  
Along with Teal’c’s help, Daniel finally had Jack down on the floor so that Janet could give him the shot that she was holding. They all three knew they had to knock him out or he was going to kill the man that laid at his feet. It was plain that the man was not going to tell Jack anything that they did not already know. Jack fought the shot as long as he could but finally he felt himself start to drift off.  
“J..a..c..k” The voice coming from Sam sounded so hollow, almost like a haunting from a ghost movie. It was barely audible but Jack heard it as if it were a scream.  
“Sam…..take me to Sam” he said the words through a choked voice and looking at Teal’c with eyes pleading, he felt the big man lift him up and help him over to the bed where Sam laid.  
“Oh my Samantha, what have they done to you? What have I done to you?” he thought to himself as Teal’c helped him lay across the bed next to his heart.  
What in God’s name had possessed them to allow Sam to take on this mission? What in God’s name had possessed HIM to allow her to take this mission without him beside her 24 hours a day? Yes, it had been an order from the highest and it was plan that he was not supposed to be there. It was a mission and she had wanted to go so badly. Looking up new alien technology was what thrilled her. And yes, normally there was not a problem. Nevertheless, Jack had felt the lingering doubt and dread in his soul as they had left the SGC almost two weeks ago. When he had left her at Area 51 and went back to the hotel where he was staying (under an alias) he felt he as if he was being ripped apart. Something about this did not set right. He had wanted so badly to figure out what it was before anything happened. He had been too late.  
Within 24 hours the two bodyguard’s that Homeland security had placed on her was gone, disappeared with no sign as to where they went and there was no trace of Sam. She was missing. That was all he was told when they finally alerted the SGC about her disappearance and he fought the anger that consumed him. He wanted to shoot everyone at Homeland Security. He could not help but wonder if he had not gotten suspicious about her not answering his calls, would Homeland Security even known there was a problem. He knew how wrapped up Sam could get when tinkering with a new ‘thingamabob’ but for her to miss his call was something she would never try to do. When she had not called back within the hour, he called her again. Still no response and he knew. Deep in his heart he knew right then that something was wrong.  
As drug induced sleep begin to claim him, he heard Janet telling the General what Sam had gone through and his arm instinctively sought her waist and pulled her close. When Janet admitted that yes, she had been raped, the tears slid down his checks and he did not care who saw him and her as he laid soft kisses upon her bruised and cut forehead. Screw them! Screw the military! Screw the rules and the regulations! Screw them all! Never again would she be out of his sight. She was his and only his to protect, his to keep safe, his Samantha! He would find the low down sons of bitches that had hurt her! He owed that to her. He would find them and make them pay for what they had done. That was his last thought as sleep claimed him.  
 

 

Chapter 1:  
Nine days earlier – SGC Briefing Room - Cheyenne Mountain, Colorado  
“NO!” Jack said it again and again, he was propelled with arguments from everyone in the room. What was it with these people? He was under the impression that when a commanding officer gave an order than it was obeyed. Hell, he got more obedience out of Sam’s collie than he did those under his command. What in the world were they thinking? They had to know that he had their best interest in mind. He had her best interest always in the front of his mind.  
“But Sir, you have to let me do this. If it is true what Homeland Security suspects, then we have to stop this before someone gets seriously hurt.” Sam’s sapphire blue eyes caught his in a desperate plea. God, how could he say no to her? Every time he looked into her eyes, he thought that there had to be a piece of the sky missing. Her eyes looked like the blue sky and someone had stuck a starburst right in the middle of the iris. It was so hard to tell her no. Nevertheless, he had to. This time he had no choice. He was not letting her go on this mission. Jack had a deep gut wrenching feeling that this was all wrong. That something bad was going to happen and he was not about to let his Samantha be tangled in the middle of it.  
“They said they will have bodyguards around me constantly, Sir.” Sam gently touched his arm without letting anyone else see her. “I will be ok. Besides, I have been kicking alien butt now for over six years. Don’t you think I can take care of myself?”  
“I know what you can do to alien butt, Carter but it’s not the alien butt I am worried about. It is yours and it is not alien’s you will be with. It’s our own damn people and God knows how much they love screwing us over.” Jack said the words and meant every one of them. They came close to dying just as much with the US Government as they did with the Goa’uld. Hell, in a way Jack trusted the Goa’uld more than he did some of the ones that worked for the government. At least you knew going into a mission who was on your side.  
The mission was not anything that Sam had not done before. She was going to Area 51 to analyze some type of alien device that had been found there when the rogue NID group had been caught and placed in lockdown. She usually went to Area 51 at least once a month for some type of scientific stuff but this was the first time the NID was involved and Jack did not like it – not one damn bit. He knew that where there was stuff that the NID claimed as their own, there was always a way for them to get it back. After all, how long had a Goa’uld been on earth before the NID screwed up and made complete asses of themselves and being caught? No, there was something else to this and they were not getting the whole story. Jack knew Sam wanted to go. Hell, she lived for finding and analyzing weird things and Daniel was excited because he knew if Sam found something then he would be allowed to go have fun with the thing too.  
“I know you can take care of yourself, Carter! This is not about whether or not you can handle yourself. This is about trusting people that we already know will screw us over at the first opportunity.” Jack rubbed his forehead as if he wanted to say something else but the General had walked into the briefing room by then and all of SG1 gazed intently at him to see what his answer was about Sam’s mission. Jack was really hoping the General had more sense than his team seemed to have but after he opened his mouth, Jack begin to wonder.  
“Carter, you will take a flight to Nevada and meet up with Home Land Security at Area 51. Jack, you will go with her until she is secured with Home Land and then you will report back here for a different mission. Daniel, you will be going to Washington with Major Davies to speak with the Joint Chief’s concerning the latest planets that we have visited. They want to be briefed on them in person. Teal’c, Bra’tec has asked that you leave for Chulac as soon as possible to help train some new recruits. You can go through the gate as soon as you are ready. Colonel O’Neill and Major Carter, your flight leaves in less than two hours so I suggest you get ready.” General Hammond took a deep breath and looked at Jack closely before he said the rest of what he had to say. He knew the Colonel was not going to want to hear this but it was not his call and even President Hayes had agreed with it. Jack already seemed upset about the whole thing and he knew why. Every time they got involved with anything to do with the NID – someone on his team ended up in the infirmary for an extended stay. “Major Carter, Senator Kinsey will also meet you there. He will be taking an active part in the scientific experiment.”  
They were all taken aback when the chair Jack had been sitting in was pushed back so hard that it hit the glass of the concrete wall that separated the briefing room from the gate room. He was on his feet and looking at the General as if he had grown an extra head. What was going on? It looked as if his whole team was being dismantled and being put in situations that were not the best to be put in. Hell, Daniel was not even safe in Washington. And yes, the thing that set him off the most was what the General had just said about that ass of a senator. It was plain to see that he was less than thrilled that the General had mentioned that Senator Kinsey would be involved in anything to do with Sam and they all knew what kind of temper Jack had and how fast it flared into a fire.  
“Sir I have the greatest respect for you and I hope you do not think me less than respectful towards you but really, just how damn crazy are the people in Washington? I mean do you really think that Carter is ….  
“That’s enough Colonel!” Hammond had to shout to be heard above Jack. Although it was, clear to everyone in the room besides Jack that he did not hear the General.  
…going to be safe with him there? The man is a damn fruitcake and all he cares about is furthering his own career! Hell Carter could be killed and he would not even care! Shit, that is most likely what he is hoping for! He has been after us since day one and the only reason he has not gotten one of us killed is that we have stuck together. Sir, there’s not a chance in hell I am allowing her to …..”  
“Colonel, I don’t think that is your decision! You ARE bordering very close to insubordination!”  
“Well, with all due respect General, I am wondering just how stupid you are for thinking I am going to allow Carter to do this mission with that ass! There is no way in hell she is leaving this base and going anywhere near the NID and you know damn well if Senator Kinsey is involved than so is the NID! Hell I thought you had better sense than this!”  
The other three members of SG1 were standing with mouths wide open, listening to their commanding officer berate the General. They knew that Jack was beyond seeing rational right now but the fact that one of his team members may be in danger. They also knew how close Jack had come before to being court martialed and they did not want to see that happen. The General was looking at Jack and although he was not quite as angry as Jack was – you could tell he was getting there.  
“O’Neill – if you don’t want to spend the rest of your career sitting in lock up, I would suggest you rein that temper in. You are very close to being court martialed. Believe me, I understand how messed up this sounds but since the President has agreed with Kinsey on this and there’s not a damn thing you nor I can do about it!”  
Jack started to say something else but his attention was averted when Sam touched his arm. He looked down at her as if he had just noticed her standing beside him and wondered when she had gotten up from the table and moved over to him. God she was beautiful! However, he could never tell her that. He could never tell her how he truly felt about her. Hell, he could not even ask her out on a date. And all because of those damn military rules! In addition, the ones that made the rules were the same idiots he was out there trying to keep safe every day. Yet they were allowing her to walk into some mission with that lowdown, self-centered, bastard! Damn, what was he supposed to do? There was nothing he could do and Sam knew it. She stopped him before he ruined his career over her. However, he had news for them all. He would be on them like white on rice – there was no way he was leaving Samantha with a bunch of people he did not know and with the NID and Kinsey involved. No way in hell. He would find a way to be there with her.  
******************************

He watched her pack her equipment in the lab, trying to get the nerve up to say something but no words would come. He had been trying to say something aloud for the past four years but never seemed to have the guts to follow through. Just like the day, the force field separated them and he knew he would never leave her. Not because it was programmed into him that you never leave a man behind but as he confessed later – he knew he could not live without Samantha Carter. Why couldn’t he just say the words? Why couldn’t he retire? Hell, he had before and actually rather enjoyed himself. If he would retire, he could tell her what he needed to tell her. But he knew the answer to that question and it was the same reason he stood here frozen, fearful that something was going to happen to her. He would not retire because he would not leave Samantha in anyone else’s hands to protect. She was his and as long as she went through the gate, he would be there with her. As long as she went anywhere that may prove to be dangerous, he would find a way to be there.  
Jack sneered. It was hard enough to protect Sam and him with her. He hated to be the poor bastard that would have to be accountable for her in Jack’s eyes. In the almost seven years they had known each other, she had gotten herself into some tight situations. It just seemed the bad people liked picking on her. Hell, they liked picking on him and all his team. Poor Space Monkey, or Daniel as everyone else called him, always seemed to end up dead. Teal’c seemed to be constantly getting his people out of danger and ending up in prison with Bra’tac. And Jack seemed to be the perfect target practice for the Goa’uld. Especially in the back and legs. He subconsciously rubbed his knee and felt the scars there.  
Damn! Why was she so stubborn? He had to admit that was one of the things that attracted him to her. Her stubbornness won him over the first time he laid eyes on her. The way she assumed that, everyone thought the same way. The day she walked into the briefing room with that chip on her shoulder, he knew that day that his job was cut out for him. He would win her over and knock that chip off – either with hard work or something better. He had always hoped it would be something better.  
Jack was already watching her back like crazy but when the crap happened with the Shavadai people, he had gotten overly obsessive about watching her. But he did not care. He would be damned if anyone ever hurt her again like that bastard did. When he had seen the glimpse of pain on her face and then ‘accidently” walked in on her so he could see what had caused the pain, he swore the bastard would pay for what he had done to her.  
Only Jack, Daniel, Teal’c and General Hammond knew that Jack had gone back to that planet. No one knew to this day what had happened to Turghan and he prayed that Sam would never find out. He prayed that she would never find out that he had gone back, sliced the man from one side of his back to the other, and left him there to die. Whether or not anyone had found him in time to save him, Jack did not really care. He had promised him he would not hurt someone he loved again and Jack always kept his promises.  
When they were stuck on P3R-118, there were times that he really thought that was who they were. That she was his Thera and he was her Jonah. They were together. Even in the dark hot place that they worked and survived, inside he was happy because he was with her. The nights they would sneak out of their sleeping bunks, meet in some corner away from anyone else, and talk. He would sit and hold her against him while she sat in between his legs and they would talk about the life they would have if they could ever get back up on the surface. Then Teal’c had broken through his mind stamp and soon the other three started realizing that where they were and who they were not the truth. That it was a lie. And when they were able to come back to earth, he actually felt sad. When she looked up at him in Brenna’s office and called him ‘sir’ it felt as if a part of his heart had been left on the planet.  
He did not look away when she looked up at him. He knew she knew that he was there. They knew when the other was present. The feelings ran too deep now. He just wished there was something they could do about it.  
***********************************  
She knew he was watching her. She always knew when he was close to her. She could feel his eyes boring into her and she felt the tingle start in the pit of her stomach. He wanted to tell her the same thing she had wanted to tell him since the day she met him. She did not need her feelings to grow through missions. The day she looked into those chocolate eyes, she had known there would be no one else. However, she had realized that she could never fully have him as her own.  
‘That’s why there were others. Others who never really required anything more from her’ Sam thought to herself. ‘That is until Pete came along. Maybe he was the one that could take Jack’s place. Maybe he could ease the pain she felt at night. Whom was she kidding? Did she really believe that?’  
Finally, Sam glanced up and gave him a small smile. She had seen him reach down and rub his knee and she knew what had crossed his mind. He was thinking back about all the times they had been injured on missions. There was even a mission where they all four had been killed and others where they had come so close to being killed that it still terrified her at night. She knew he was worried. Since the episode that had happened on the planet of the Shavadai people, he had protected her at all cost.  
She had known that day that he would come and get her from Turghan. There was never any doubt but she had been very scared while being held there. She had already been beaten and she knew if she was there when night fell, then Turghan would take his pleasure with her. And no matter how hard she would fight, he would eventually win.  
When Jack had ridden into the camp on the back of that horse and she saw the look in his eyes, she knew somehow that she would be leaving with him. It was not until later that day that she heard him vow that Turghan would not live to hurt another female. And she knew it was because of what he had seen. She had tried to hide it from him but had failed miserably. He had noticed there was something wrong with her when they had gotten back to camp. When she had gone to dismount, Daniel had offered to help her because she had looked so pale. When he had touched her back, Jack had seen the way she jerked away from Daniel. He also saw the brief glimpse of pain that went across her face before she had had time to cover it. While she had been changing back into her uniform, he had ‘accidently’ walked into the tent and had seen her. The cuts that the whip had left diagonally across her back still had scars there today.  
She was raised military. Had been on military bases her whole life. But she had never heard the language she heard coming from him. She quickly grabbed her shirt and through tears had begged him not to do something foolish. Sam had known that if he went back to Turghan’s camp alone, he would be killed. The men of that camp would not allow Turghan to be hurt. She had seen how they worshipped him. She knew he did not like the fact that he could not get revenge for her and it tore her up inside but she loved him to much already to lose him. She could still hear him as he walked out of the tent. She did not have the nerve to turn around but Daniel had told her later that the hate pouring out of Jack’s eyes made the people in the camp actually fear for their lives.  
In the end, and against Jack’s wishes, she had been able to extract her revenge on Turghan. Jack had wanted to do it but she had insisted that this was the only way she would begin to feel better about what had happened to her. By taking away his dignity and honor in front of his people, she had won not only her release but the freedom of the women of the Shavadai also. However, Jack never stopped from that day on watching her every step. Where she went and who she was with he had full knowledge of it.  
Then when they had the zatarc testing with Anise and he confessed what he did, Sam knew that she meant more to him than just another team member. And it literally scared the hell out of her. Because she knew no matter how much they felt for each other, they could never be. In her mind, the only way she could ever have Jack was to have Jonah. The only way he could ever have Sam was to have Thera – for them to live two separate identities. And they had. They had loved each other so much when they were mind stamped into believing they were two other people. Even though they worked away from each other and slept away from each other, they had found each other. Their subconscious knew what they themselves had had to deny for years. That they were meant to be together in this life also.  
Jack watched Sam as her mind whirled. He knew she was thinking about them. They were always thinking about each other. How in the hell was he supposed to let her go on this mission and not be with her constantly? He had to figure out some way to be with her. Surely, there had to be something that Hammond could arrange that would put him there with her.


	2. Crossing the Lines

Crossing the line

Jack started towards Sam. Just when he got close enough that his fingertips brushed her arm and he started to pull her close, the intercom went off. He heard his name and froze. It was like someone knew he was going to do something that later they both would regret. He was being paged to the General’s office. He sighed loudly, looked longingly at Sam and then turned around and walked away.  
Sam actually saw the look of regret and longing on his face and heard his audible sigh. She had gotten goosebumps on her arms when he had started towards her and they had covered her entire body when his fingertips had touched her arm. But her whole countenance fell when he turned around and walked away. Did even fate know how close he had come to letting down the barriers? Was he starting to do or say something that may have changed the course of their life? Sam could only hope. She knew how much the military meant to her and to him. But then again, if she had to be honest with herself, it really had nothing to do with the military. It was the simple fact of being able to go through the gate. To be able to be witness to something so spectacular as seeing other planets, meeting other people and helping them in whatever way they needed. But she also knew that if Jack would allow her to, she would walk away from it all. Walk away from it all with him. She would not walk away if she could not be guaranteed that he would be waiting for her.   
Sam instinctively rubbed her arms as the chill swept through her body taken the place of the warmth that had circulated through her when the Colonel had touched her. She knew she was in bad shape. Had been since day one. Well, not quite as bad then as she was now. Actually it started becoming really bad when they had all became infected with the disease from P3X797. She had not known at the time that she had been infected. All she knew was that she wanted the man as bad then as she did right now. She had gotten ahold of him too.   
Of course the response he gave her at the time was not the response she had wanted. He had wanted her, she could tell. A woman knows when a man wants her. The response from both parties was hard to deny. But his words to her when she asked him did not he want her were “yes…no, not like this”. She knew what he meant. Not when she did not know what she was doing. The sad fact of the matter was she did know what she was doing. As she had confidentially informed Janet later after everything had cleared up and the base had been cleared of the disease. She had known in the back of her mind the whole time she was attacking him what she was doing. Oh, she may not have been able to stop herself, but deep down she did not want to.   
Sam turned away from the door and looked over at her suitcase. She did not have any need to leave the mountain to pack. She kept enough clothes here that she had everything she felt she would need. All she had left to do now was wait for the Colonel to finish with his meeting. Waiting was something she did not like. Waiting caused her to think. And thinking turned into wanting. Wanting things, she knew she would never be able to have.   
********************************  
Jack walked up the stairs to the General’s office. He really did not want to be here. He knew he had showed his ass earlier and he still was not calm enough yet to keep from saying something he might regret. Oh for crying out loud! Why did it seem he could not control his temper when it came to that blue-eyed imp?!  
Jack knocked on the office door just as he saw the General hang up the phone. The red phone. Oh, great! What was going on now? Jack knew there was only one person that General Hammond spoke to on that phone and when he did, it usually meant trouble for SGC.   
“General, you needed to see me?” Jack asked the question while still eyeing the phone. This day was already messed up. How much worse could it get. And then Jack stopped that thought from completely going through his mind. He knew how much worse it could get. He and all of his team members bore scars to prove how much worse it could get.  
“Jack that was the President.” The General said the words with an edge to his voice. He wanted to get this conversation out in the open before Jack would have a chance to say anything. He knew how Jack felt about his team. More importantly, and like so many others in the mountain, he knew how Jack felt about Major Carter. He knew that no matter what he told Jack to do, Jack was going to find his way to Area 51 to watch over Samantha Carter and in the back of his mind, he had to admit that he was glad of that.   
“I called him about this assignment that Major Carter is going on. I know he knows all the details but I wanted to make sure he knew all the players and what could conspire. I asked his permission to allow you to accompany Major Carter while she is at Area 51.”  
The General saw the look on Jack’s face change from mutiny to puzzlement and saw his eyes take on a different look. He was willing to listen to what the General had to say and that was a start. He just hoped Jack understood the Presidents point of view.  
“The President informed me that he had no intention of allowing Major Carter to go into this on her own but he also has no intention of allowing Senator Kinsey to know ahead of time that someone will be watching her.” The General stopped for a minute to allow Jack to catch up to what he was getting at and he literally saw the light grow in the Colonel’s eyes when it dawned on him what was going on. “He is allowing you to go but he doesn’t want anyone, including Sam to know that you will be staying around Groom Lake or anywhere close to Area 51 for the first 24 hours. He doesn’t want anyone to know you are there because he is trying to find out whether or not Senator Kinsey is still involved with the rogue force of the NID or if we have been wrong”   
General Hammond actually swallowed hard when he said the last sentence. He thought he knew what Jack was going to say when the Colonel stood up and started rubbing his face and his hair. But he was wrong. What the Colonel said had not even crossed his mind. He had figured that Jack would think the same thing he did when the President had made the statement about them being wrong about Senator Kinsey. Like they were a bunch of idiots. Sometimes he really wondered about the man they had in office.   
“Hold on for a second, Sir! Are you trying to tell me that the President, and I use that term loosely, is going to use Carter as a guinea pig?!! We already know that Senator Kinsey is in league with the NID! We already know that there is a group of business men that are actually paying the “rogue” NID to do what they do and they are the ones funding Senator Kinsey’s campaign. Why would you allow them to put Carter in this type of trap? You know, just like the rest of us, how lethal that whole damn bunch is! And you know as well as I do that it is nothing but a trap as far as Senator Kinsey and the NID are concerned!”  
Hammond realized that he had gone and done it again. Without even thinking about it or weighing the consequences he had put his foot in his mouth again. And even if, in some General’s eyes, O’Neill was insubordinate, he had to admit that the man was usually right when he lost his temper and went into court-martial zone. He had not even realized what type of game was being played here until the Colonel had enlightened him. He had allowed the whole bunch to make a fool out of him. Well, they would see just who the fool was. He would do what the President wanted him to do but by God he would put his own twist on the assignment. Jack would go to area 51 but he would not be coming back in just twenty-four hours. He would be there until Major Carter was returned safe and sound back to the SGC. He had not even looked at this as a cat and mouse game until Jack had brought it up. Cassie was correct in her assumption, just as the General had known since the day he first meet Colonel Jack O’Neill. The man was a hell of a lot smarter then he let on.  
The two men looked at each other from across the desk. Without mouthing a word, the other knew what needed to be done and so they did it. Jack would do anything he had to keep Samantha safe even if it meant leaving the Air Force on bad terms.  
“Holy Hannah, General! Just how many damn times are you going to put my team in jeopardy? I think you need to go to Washington or maybe Nevada. Maybe that is where someone as dumb as you are should be. You would fit right in with the crowd up there!”  
Walter, who was just going into the General’s office to put some file folders on his desk, stopped in his tracks. He had heard the Colonel go off before but never to the point where he ran the General down that way. He knew of course what the reason was. Everyone in the SGC knew what the President and Area 51 had asked of Major Carter. They all also knew that there was no way she was going to turn down this assignment and if the Colonel had his way there was no way she was going to go through with it. Walter stood there with his mouth gapped open, not knowing whether to let his presence be known or just turn around and come back later. Just as he started to turn, he heard the Colonel’s next words and knew that he had gone too far.  
“I swear man, if we have any chance in hell of getting out of this mountain alive, I suggest we find another General to be stationed here. With what SG1 has against them here on dear old planet Earth we would be better off living with the Goa’uld. Or is that what you’re hoping. You and all those idiots in Washington!”  
“That’s it Colonel! As of this moment, you are off this base and out of this program. You will be sent to Washington to await a trail for a court-martial. You have crossed the line this time son and no matter what I may think about this shitty operation, I am still in command of this base! You will be sent to the holding cells until such time as I have transport to get you to Washington.”  
Jack looked over at the General and he also saw Walter standing in the door way. ‘Make it good Jack – this has got to work. No matter what is at stake, you cannot leave her alone in Nevada.’ He thought the words to himself but it was as if the General knew what he was thinking and he saw a slight nod before he continued.  
“If I going to be court-martialed, then I might as well do it all the way. When you come to your senses and realize just how stupid this all is, you can find me at my cabin. If you want to court-martial me after that, then that’s fine but I am not going to be put in a holding cell while my team is being compromised by the very people we are supposed to be protecting!”  
With that statement, Jack started out of the office door. He heard General Hammond when he picked up the phone and pushed the speaker button. ‘Well this is it’ he thought to himself. His thirty-six-year career was over and done with in fifteen minutes.  
“Security to the briefing room now.” The General said the words but inside his gut was doing summersaults. If this did not pan out the right way, Jack would be ruined forever but they could not let it go the way it was going. There was no way he could allow them to use a person under his charge for a trap. Especially Sam Carter. He had been in her life since she was a baby. He was not going to let some rogue agency and senator use her for whatever they wanted.   
Hammond and Jack could hear the airmen running to the briefing room and Jack turned around and looked at the General one last time with more respect than he could ever have in the past before landing a punch in the gut of one of the airmen and knocking the other of his feet. He was out of the briefing room and running towards the elevator before anyone had realized what had happened.   
Sam was coming out of her lab when she heard the General call for more back-up and she saw Jack running down the hall. ‘Oh my God! What has he gone and done now!’ She knew before she saw the airmen running behind him that it was him the General had alerted the security about. Jack looked at her and in that moment the rest of the world stood still. He realized he would give his life for the woman standing in front of him. Before the day was out, he may just have to prove that. He saw the same look in her eyes that mirrored in his and he could not help it.   
“C’mere” The words were out of his mouth and she was in his arms before they had a chance to think about it. As their lips touched, he could swear there was hot liquid racing through his body and Sam felt like her body was burning in the hottest of oils and slowly molded back together. His lips trailed from hers, across her check and over the throbbing pulse in her throat. Then slowly they started back up until she could feel his breath at her ear.  
“Remember…..always” He whispered the words into her ear. Before Sam could open her eyes again, Jack was moving. She stood there with her heart melting and her body on fire and watched him as he hit the button on the elevator and he was gone.


	3. The Plan Between Friends

The plan between friends

Jack exited the first elevator and skillfully made his way over to the second elevator that would take him to the surface. He was just starting to close the doors when a hand came in between them, stopping their connection. When the doors opened all the way, Jack was looking into the eyes of one of his oldest teammates. Ferretti just stared back at Jack – not sure how to take this sudden event. He knew there was no way he was going to rat his commander out. Jack had saved his six too many times to count. The only thing was Ferretti knew where Jack wanted to go and he knew how many patrols would be looking for him once they hit the surface. The elevator doors slid closed behind him and Jack could have sworn the man smiled at him. A smile like a Cheshire cat. The man had something cooking in that head of his and Jack was either going to love it or Jack would kill him. In order for Jack to keep from killing him, he had to pray the plan worked.  
He had been stunned when General Hammond had called him to his office and told him that he was to escort Major Carter to Area 51, relinquish her into the hands of Homeland Security and then return to the SGC in 24 to 48 hours, leaving the major. He had figured Jack would take this assignment but then he had heard about the scene that had transpired in the briefing room and then later in General Hammond’s office. Oh man, Jack had gone and done it now.   
“Ferretti” Jack said the name and prayed that he was still safe. He knew by all rights that Ferretti would be opening up his own self for court martial if he did not turn Jack in and he really did not want to see that happen but he also knew that he could not risk getting caught.  
“Colonel” Ferretti just kept looking at him like he was waiting for something to happen. Waiting for Jack to say something or do something. Finally he looked at his superior and cocked a half smile before stating the obvious.   
“Well, this is awkward.”   
“Ya think?”   
“What do you suggest I do about this situation, Sir?”  
“Well for starters, you can stop calling me Sir. I think after today that will no longer be a requirement for anyone on this base when it comes to me. Now the real question is, what are you going to do?” Jack looked straight into Ferretti’s eyes. He knew there was camera’s in the elevators. Damn, why did not he take the tunnel shaft like his instincts told him to? He knew to always listen to his gut, why did he play dumb this time.  
He watched Ferretti turn his back to the camera, facing Jack and Jack saw something in his eyes that made him tilt his head to the side and watch Ferretti a little closer. He wanted Jack to read his lips. Hmm this was going to prove to be very interesting. Jack could read lips but for some reason Ferretti was one of the few men he knew that felt you had to talk a hundred miles an hour. It was hard as heck to read his lips but Jack knew he had to try.  
A few minutes later, the two men were exiting the elevator on the surface. Jack knew they were ahead of schedule by only a half an hour at the most. For this plan to work, it had to go off without a hitch. And so far, the way his day had gone, he was not sure if it would work that way or not. Ferretti had Jack by the arm and was leading him to one of the Humvees stored in the tunnel entrance. As they passed the guard controlling the gate, Ferretti showed his id and explained to the MP that he was escorting the Colonel to Andrews. Of course by now all of the base had heard of the famous Colonel Jack O’Neill latest stunt and how he was supposedly on his way to Washington to be court-martialed. The guard assumed that that was exactly what Colonel Ferretti was doing so he waved at the Colonels and opened the gate. A few minutes later, Jack and Ferretti arrived at Andrews and begin to set in motion their next plan. This was the one that Jack really hoped did not go wrong.   
Jack watched the pilot and co-pilot head towards the jet that had been scheduled to take him and Samantha to Nevada –now it was Sam and Ferretti that the pilot had on his roster to pick up. Jack did not know either one of them which meant that they were requisitioned through Senator Kinsey. Then this may prove to be easier then he and Ferretti had first assumed.   
Jack and Ferretti left the Humvee and headed towards the airstrip, like two panthers targeting their prey. Stealth was more of a form of life for these men then just a word given out in basic training. Both had survived black ops missions and carried the scars deep within that some would never be able to understand. As they neared the plan, Jack held up a fist and crunched low beside the front wheel while Ferretti hid behind the air steps. The two men heading towards the plane never knew what hit them. Ferretti grabbed the ankle of the co-pilot just as his second foot hit the steps and he watched him fall straight backward landing hard on the tarmac. He crunched low and placed a finger on the man’s neck and recognized a slow steady heartbeat. The poor man was knocked out and would most likely wake up with a headache the size of the Grand Canyon but at least he would wake up.   
After accessing the man at his feet, Ferretti glanced over to where Jack was. He had not heard a noise coming from where Jack was until he heard the subtle sound of fist hitting bone and bone cracking. He saw the pilot laying crumbled at the Colonel’s feet. When he saw the man’s face he understood why Jack had been so fierce with his assault. The idiot just happened to be one of the same men they had arrested last year with the rogue NID group. He was surprised Jack had not killed him but after checking his pulse, he too was just out although he would wake up in a lot more pain then what the co-pilot would. He reached down to grab the guy he had knocked out as he watched Jack pick up the guy at his feet and sling him over his shoulder. Time was running out and they had to hurry. As long as Matthews showed on time everything would go. Both men raced up the air steps just as Jack saw the Humvee pull up to the plane with Captain Matthews at the wheel.   
Matthews followed Jack and Ferretti up the steps and threw the bundle he had at Jack. Jack quickly changed his pants and jacket for the pilot’s uniform that Matthews had brought. He was right in assuming he would need one of his own. Neither guy he and Ferretti had over taken was anywhere close to his size. For them to pull this off, they had to look the part. Flying the plane would not be a problem since he and Matthews had years of experience doing that. Now all he could do was wait for Samantha to get to the airstrip and they could take off. Hopefully the airman bringing her would just drop her off and not want to talk. Talking would be bad because Jack was well known on the base and one look would give him away.   
As time drew nearer for Sam to show up, Jack sent Ferretti to wait on the tarmac for her, hoping to overt any suspension and therefore the airman that would bring her may just salute and drive off once he knew his charge was in the right hands. He had to make this work. He was Sam’s only chance of making it through this. Knowing already that the rogue NID was involved only heightened Jack’s awareness and alertness. He and Matthews would wait in the cock-pit. He did not need Sam to see him until they were in the air. She would stop him from doing anything to further ruin his career, even if it meant getting off the plane and alerting General Hammond.   
Sam knew he would be better off with General Hammond then if anyone else caught him. Yes, he never doubted that his in subornation from earlier had already reached ears outside the SGC no matter how hard Hammond had tried to stop it. There were just as many that wanted him out on his six as there were who would literally give their lives to keep him in the Stargate program. Heck, he did not want anybody to give their live for him but he knew he would do the same for them.  
Jack saw the Humvee pull up on the tarmac and watched Ferretti walk over to the vehicle to help Major Carter. He saw Sam ask him something and watched when Ferretti shook his head no. Jack knew without a doubt that she had asked Ferretti if he had seen Jack and Ferretti had told her no without even thinking about it. Jack knew Ferretti also knew what was at stake and he would do everything in his power to keep Sam save if something was to happen to Jack. He watched her walk to the steps and took a deep breath when he saw the look of worry on her face. He had caused that but he could not help it. He would not allow another man to hurt her. That was a promise written in blood on his heart. Never again would she feel the pain of being betrayed and used.   
Jack’s mind went back to Hanson. God, what was he thinking allowing Carter to go on that mission with Teal’c, Daniel and himself? He should have put his foot down and issued the command that she was not to go anywhere near Hanson. While they had been on the planet trying to assess exactly what Jonas was up to he had acted like he was not really listening to her and Daniel’s conversation. But he had been and he heard enough that it made him see red. The way Jonas had made her feel like she was unworthy of anyone or anything still pissed him off. It was true that the enemy out there that they faced everyday seemed to love to use him for target practice but it seemed Sam’s enemies loved to see what kind of psychological warfare they could put her through. Well, it was not going to happen this time. He would be there to stop any of it from ever happening again. 

 

&&&&&&&&&

Sam’s fingertips brushed the side of her neck while she absentmindedly bit her lower lip still feeling the fire burn her that had burned her when Jack had kissed her. As she watched the elevator doors close, she knew beyond a shadow of a doubt now that there would never be another man for her. She could play dumb if she wanted to, but Colonel Jonathan “Jack” O’Neill was the only one that had ever lit a fire that burned that hot in her.   
She shook her head to clear her thoughts just as the two airman raced pass her to try and grab the elevator doors before they closed all the way but they were too late. Sam breathed a sigh of relief and actually thought she felt her fist pump as if saying a silent yes. If Jack could make it to the surface, she had no doubt that he could escape. Sam turned and made her way to the General’s office. If anyone knew what exactly happened – he did and she was going to find out.  
General Hammond was pacing in his office as if he were an expected father. While he knew that Jack’s career was pretty much over, he also felt sure that if Jack could figure out a way to do it he would be on the plane going to Area 51 with Major Carter in less than 25 minutes. He heard the knock on his door, and slightly raised his head. When he saw Sam standing there, his whole demeanor changed. She could not know that it had been a ruse, that he and Jack had planned the whole court-martial affair so that Jack could be free to watch her for as long as she was in Nevada. He knew if she found out she would kill him and Jack both. There was no way she would allow Jack to ruin his career for her.  
“Carter, are you packed and ready to go?”   
Sam came to attention under the General’s gaze. “Yes, sir! Packed and awaiting your orders, Sir.” The words from the General had come out harsher then he had expected but Sam did not take offence. She figured he was as frustrated as she and Jack were about the whole mess that was going on. She also knew that General Hammond did not break the rules. If Jack showed his butt in here the way he did in the briefing room earlier, than by all the rules that governed them the General had all rights to have Jack court-martialed. Sam wanted so bad to ask about Jack. There was something definitely going on and she would find out but now was not the time to do.   
“Then report to the top where there is a vehicle waiting to take you to Andrews. The pilot and co-polit have been instructed on where you are going. Colonel Ferretti will meet you on the tarmac since he will be taking Colonel O’Neill’s place.” The General looked at Sam and he thought back about how small she was the first time he held his goddaughter. He and Jacob Carter had gone into the military together, fought side by side and came home but never lost touched. When Jake’s wife died in the car accident, he saw then just how much Jake and Sam were alike and it tore him up that they could not meet on even ground and talk.   
Then Jacob found out he had cancer and his time to live was growing shorter and shorter by the moment. Still the stubborn pride that had kept him alive while fighting for his Country also kept him from reaching out to his daughter and letting her and him find resolution in his last days. The ties between Jake and Mark had been severed the day Janet died and for many years it seemed they would never speak to each other again. But that all changed when Sam was infested with a Tok’ra symbiot. When SG1 located the Tok’ra due to Jolinar’s vision through Sam, they found out that they were in dire need of a host for a symbiot who was dying and held knowledge that would cause a hard blow to the Tok’ra if it could not be carried on through another host. In the middle of fighting the Goa’uld who attacked the Tok’ra base while SG1 were with them Sam had thought of her dad and Jacob had agreed to become the host of Sel’mac. The relationship between father and his two children became like new with the wisdom that Sel’mac gave to Jacob.   
Now looking at the grown woman that Samantha Carter had become through the years and the difference in her since the blending with the symbiote, General Hammond knew that she was far from being stupid. The lines on her face and the wisdom in her eyes belied her age. He knew there was no way he was going to be able to keep things secret if he did not get her out of the SGC soon and hopefully by the time she returned everything would be straight. God, he sure hoped so.   
“Carter, please keep your head up. I know you know what dangers may be out there but I also know how you are when you start analyzing a new alien device. You can be focused on just what you are working on and become oblivious to everything else around you. I would have felt a lot safer about this whole mission had I been able to leave one of my own with you the whole time you were at Area 51. It may be because of what has happened with O’Neill but I am really starting to have second thoughts about this.”  
“What has happened, Sir?” Sam asked the question but knew before the General even shook his head that she would not find out anything yet. He would not let her go on this mission more worried about Jack then concerned for her own safety. He failed to realize she would also put Jack first.  
Sam touched General Hammond lightly on the arm, a reassurance that she understood just what type of prediction he was in. The man always followed orders. It was in his blood. All the times that SG1 had defied orders (usually Jack’s decision but they all went wholeheartedly), Hammond had stood by mystified that it could be done but he also always backed them up when the shoe would start to drop. This time, however things may have gotten even further then what he could fix.  
Sam walked back to the lab and then headed up to the top. Walking across the parking lot, she could not help but look around her, hoping for just a glance of the Colonel. She knew they had not caught him yet. It would have been all over the SGC if they had. She took one last look as she got in the front seat of the vehicle that would take her to Andrews. No luck and she felt a longing racing through her body. She had so hoped to see him one more time. Just to know he was safe.  
Reaching the tarmac, she saw Ferretti standing waiting for her. She saw the look in his eyes when he looked at her and even though she thought she already knew the answer, she asked it anyway. She was not surprised when he told her that no he had not seen Jack. She hung her head, not wanting the disappointment to show on her face. She knew that Ferretti was one of Colonel O’Neill’s closest friends and it had to be killing him also about what was going on with Jack. God wherever he is, let him be safe. She could not stop the thought from crossing her mind.  
Not knowing who was piloting the flight gave her an uneasy feeling. She was picky when it came to who she was flying with. She always liked to know who was in control. Oh well, she would find out soon enough, she was sure. She assumed the pilot was already in the cockpit when she did not see him. She passed the co-pilot, someone else she did not know, who was standing at the door and slid into the seat closest to the cockpit. Hearing low voices coming from the cockpit she realized that Colonel Ferretti had made his way to the cockpit and she assumed that he was checking with the pilot concerning the itinerary. She heard the door hiss as it closed and she could not help but say a prayer at the sound of it. Was she doing the right thing? Was the feeling that Jack had rubbing off on her? She had never had a problem going to Area 51 before, so why was this time so different? Even as she thought that, she already knew the answer. Because of Senator Kinsey and the NID. She had not had to deal with them since SG1 had closed down the rogue operation but it seemed they kept springing up all over the place.   
Sam adjusted her seat and pulled out her laptop. She figured she could take her mind off of what had happened if she could find some work to do and there were always calculations that needed correcting. She had barely opened it when she was closing it again. She already knew her mind would not be able to stay on her work. She closed her eyes as she waited for the plane to take off and her mind begin to slip into thoughts of her and Pete. God, what made that come up? She had talked to her brother Mark a few days ago and he had questioned her about Pete. She did not know what to tell her brother. Their friendship was on such unstable ground as it was because of the past and what she did for a living. He did not know about the SGC and because of confidentiality he would never know. It put a barrier up between them. But she knew now that because of Jack there would there would never be another person for her. No matter how close she and Pete had seemed to come, her heart belonged to only one man. There was no way anything other than friendship would come of her and Pete. She would not put a man in a relationship where she could not be true to him and there was no way she could ever love another man when there was only one that possessed her heart.  
Sam stopped her mind from wondering when she saw Ferretti emerge out of the cockpit and take the seat across from her. The co-polite had retreated in the cockpit after he had shut the door. She believed he had told her his name was Matthews when he had explained to her that when they got to Nellis, she and Ferretti would be escorted to a hotel room and wait until tomorrow to report to Area 51. She had already felt the plane start to taxi down the runway and knew they would be taking off any second. The voices in the cockpit seemed to be getting louder because of the noise of the screaming engines.  
Wait a second. That second voice sounded very familiar. She recognized Matthews’ voice but it was the other one that made the hair on the back of her neck stand up straight. She knew the other voice all too well. That voice had been beside her for seven years, sometimes dragging her out of some deep comatose sleep. Whispering words of encouragement when things got to the point that they did not think they would make it back home.   
She put down her seat and laid her laptop back in the case. But just as she went to stand up, the plane took off throwing her backwards into her seat. Ferretti watched her jump up and saw her when she lost her footing. He knew from the look on her face that she too had heard the voices coming from the cockpit and had recognized O’Neill’s. She looked accusingly over at Ferretti before she attempted to stand again. She waited until she could feel the plane start to level off and then she was up again and facing Ferretti.  
“How could you? Don’t you realize General Hammond may have been able to contain this and fix it? Now there is no way his career is safe! You wouldn’t tell me he was here because you knew I wouldn’t get on this plane if he was on it. That I would have made him get off and go back to the SGC. I thought you were his friend but I guess I was wrong about that!”  
Carter threw the words at Ferretti and all he did was stand there and take it. He had already known that when she found out what they had done all crap was going to hit the fan. He was just hoping that they would be further along before she found out.  
“Major Carter” He tried to get a word in but she did not hear him. This time he tried a different approach.  
“Sam, he wouldn’t have listened! You know that. There was no way he was letting you go there without him!”   
Ferretti put his hand on her arm but she jerked away from him and turned to go towards the cockpit. However, before she could get to the door it opened and he stood there. She drew in a breath when she looked into his eyes. All of the fight she had prepared herself for to get him to go back deflated out of her like a punctured balloon.  
Jack was looking at her with pleading eyes. Eyes that was sending out one message to her and her alone.  
‘Please understand. I cannot lose you. No matter what happens to me, I cannot lose you.’


	4. Trust & Faith - A twisty kind of road!

Trust & Faith, a twisty kind of road!

Sam saw the look and read the message that Jack held in his eyes. It was the same message she had in her eyes every time she looked at him. But that did not change the fact. Loving him the way she did, she could not – no she would not allow him to damage his career to the point that there was no way to rectify it. If they went back now – if he turned his self in now, then maybe there would be just enough time left to save him from never being able to do what he loved to do.   
“We have to go back, Jack. We cannot let this happen. You cannot ruin your life because of me.”  
“I don’t think that is your choice. It is after all my life. How do you know I am ruining it? I may finally be living the life I want to live. Maybe being with the one person I dream about even when I am awake is enough of a life for me.” He looked at her to see if the words he had just spoken even registered in her mind. Obviously not because she continued on with the same old thing. She did not even get the hint that he was talking about spending the rest of his life with her. Jack rubbed his hand behind his neck. It was a sign of frustration that Sam knew all too well. Was he frustrated at her for trying to stop him from ruining his career? Well tough tomatoes!   
“But Jack, you are putting everything at risk and you don’t even know if this is going to turn out the way you think it is. You have no way of knowing if any rogue NID guys are involved. Kinsey, while being very untrustworthy, is after all a Senator. He has every right to see what is going on at Nellis.”  
Jack looked over at Ferretti and with no words spoken, informed him not to utter a word about the rogue NID officer that Jack had taken down outside the plane. He knew that Sam needed to know they were involved, but not yet. Ferretti shook his head and walked to the cockpit where Matthews was. The look they gave each other said more than any words could ever say. Ferretti did not agree with Jack’s plan of waiting. Major Carter was a smart woman and she could handle just about anything you threw at her. Why did Jack want to hide this from her? It was going to blow up in his face. Jack had never treated her like she was porcelain and it would piss her off royally if she found out he was doing it now.  
“Yeah, right! You know damn well that if Senator Kinsey is messed up in this then so is the NID. You don’t play the dumb part as well as I do!”  
“Yeah and you seem to be playing it all too well right now!” Sam shot back at him.  
Than something clicked in the back of her mind. Sam had felt the anger melt out of her seeing him, knowing he was risking everything for her. Now without any warning at all a different type of anger seemed to pour through her. Was he just as confident in her abilities now as he had been before he had been blended with Kanaan? Had he lost the faith he had in her to do the job that needed to be done? Come to think of it, it was right after she had talked him into blending with the symbiote so that he could be healed that she had started feeling like he was watching her every move. That’s what it was! Oh my God! He did not trust her anymore. Becoming blended was not the part that ate at him. It was what had happened while he was a prisoner of Ba’al’s. He blamed her for his being tortured literally to death and then being brought back with the sarcophagus. Getting her to stay at the SGC or staying with her the whole time she was at Area 51 was his way of knowing she would not screw up again and put him in the place of having to have that done to him again or to someone else he cared about!  
“Why are you so bent up on getting yourself kicked out of the service? Or is it something else, Colonel O’Neill?” Sam spat his name at him like venom coming out of her mouth. “Is it you have lost your faith in me? You no longer trust that I can make the decisions necessary to save your life. I would never have made that decision had it not been to save your life or did you think I wanted to do it because I was pissed off because I had been turned once? You don’t even realize how much I wanted to kill myself when I heard you at the debriefing about the times you were killed and brought back. I blamed myself for every time.”  
“What?!” Jack shook his head and closed his eyes. The lines literally ran together on his forehead when he scrunched it and looked at her. Where the heck had that come from? Did she not know that there was not anyone whom he trusted more with a mission, let alone his life? What in the world had caused this? Jack looked intensely at Sam, seeing the hurt masked over by the anger. Holy Hannah, she really thought this! She really thought that he was doing all of this because he did not think she could keep herself safe.   
Jack let his anger calm down before he started towards Sam. He had to let her know. He had to let her know that he was not just being obnoxious. That there really was danger waiting for her at Area 51 and he did not like having to do it. But if she thought for one minute that he did not trust her, then holding back that information would only cause her to think it more. He reached out to her but she literally backed up. The hurt that was coming from her eyes was more than Jack could bare. Why would she think this? He shook his head and started towards her. She honestly believed that he thought that he no longer trusted her at all – not with her life, his life or anything else. My God, how had this gotten all screwed up?!  
“Don’t touch me! I cannot believe you would think me inadequate to do my job! I never thought I would get that from you! Not you!” No matter how hard Sam tried to control the tears, they came any way. There was no stopping them. She continued to back up until she was almost against the back wall of the jet.   
Jack continued towards her. He had to straighten this out. He could not let her keep thinking that he no longer trusted her. He attempted to reach out to her again when he finally got to her but she turned her back.  
“Major Carter!” Jack snapped and because of the training embedded in her, Sam turned around to look at the commanding officer that stood in front of her. More out of instinct than anything else, she quickly snapped to attention. But the anger, the hurt and the tears were still there, staring out at him. The one person he never wanted to hurt in the whole world was hurting and she blamed him for it.  
Before she had a chance to rethink her position, he gripped her arm so she could not turn around again. He was so close up on her that he could smell her shampoo. The scent of that and her own personnel scent was enough to start the quaking in the pit of his stomach. The smell of honey and lavender overcame his senses and he had to close his eyes and try to slow his heartbeat or he was going to do something that neither was ready to do right now. He let out a slow breath and looked at her, ready to tell her everything so she would not feel this way about him.   
“Samantha, I know I cannot say anything to change what you think I feel about you right now. But know this, there is no one, nowhere that I trust my body, my soul, my heart, my team with more than you. I hope you can in some way or another believe me when I tell you this. I know that you would have never allowed them to put that snake in my head had you thought I could have survived without it! I also know that you were just as pissed about what happened to me when I was captured and tortured as I was. I also know that you were at the SGC trying everything in your power to find me! You are the only person I trust enough even now to make that decision for me. I mean, I have to have someone to look after me – it was you who finally figured out why my ass was pinned to the wall in the gate room because you made a decision that everyone else thought was ludicrous. It was you who kept me alive when we were stranded in Antarctica and you busted your ass tearing the DHD apart to try to get us home!” Sam started to say something but before she could Jack continued, waving his hands like a mad man. “AHhhh don’t even say a word – how were you to know that we were trying to dial to a place on Earth. And let’s not even talk about who did without sleep, food or rest working day in and day out trying to get me home from Edora! And that’s just in the first three years I knew you. Don’t you understand that I am not doing this because I don’t have faith in you or your skills? Can’t you get it through your thick skull just what you mean to me! I am doing this because as I told you once before. I would rather die than to live without you”!  
The tears were still flowing from Sam’s eyes but the look on her face had begun to change the more Jack talked to her. She was not completely convinced yet but she was beginning to accept the idea that maybe he did still trust her. Before she could say anything, he took her by the hand and led her to the back row of the plane. Sitting in the seats were the two men that he and Ferretti had knocked out on the tarmac. Sam had been so worried about Jack that she had not even noticed the two men sitting there.  
“Look real good Sam, and tell me if I have a right to worry about you and who you will be around at Area 51?” Jack grabbed the man whose jaw he had broken and turned his face so that he was looking at Sam in the eyes. Jack saw the light growing in her eyes as the recognition surfaced. Jack knew, she knew, and he knew she knew who he was. This man had caused them so many problems. First he had tried to take them over by blending them with symboites in Oregon and then he had almost killed her, and Jonas when he and his friends had ambushed the Prometheus. Jack saw the anger cross her face and then he saw her as she turned to him, and the guilt of accusing him of what she did took over the anger and she dropped her head, unable to look at Jack.   
Jack, still holding her hand in his, headed back up the aisle of the plane. When they had gotten far enough away from the two men in the back but not too close to the cockpit, he pulled her into a seat and he took the one next to her. Turning so he faced her, he placed his finger under her chin and raised her head to look her in the eyes. And whoosh! There it was again, that feeling like he was falling into a lake of sapphire blue diamonds. With the tears still glistening in her eyes, Jack could not help it. He reached over with his other hand and with his fingers pointed towards the palm of his hand, he wiped away the tears that had leaked out and onto her checks. She was so beautiful. So put together. Why would she ever think that he would do something to hurt her? Ever since she walked into his life in that dress blue outfit – he had not been able to get her out of his life.   
Oh he had tried. So many times he had tried but it never worked. He remembered mentioning Edora earlier and he remembered thinking to himself while he was on that planet that if he fell in love with Laira then he would not have to worry about hurting so bad when he could not see Sam again. He had actually seen the way Laira had looked at him before the team was set to leave and he could not help but think that if he could get her to go with him back to earth, there would not be any rules he would be breaking – no military regulations that would cost a young officer her great career. Because he knew, sadly he knew that he would not be able to hold off much longer. Sooner rather than later, one of them was going to break and when they did – military regulations be damned!   
When he had told her that he had not been acting like himself since the day he met her, whether she knew it or not – it was the truth. Oh, he had said the words at the time to get her to believe that he had crossed the line, that he was really going rogue – not just doing an undercover assignment. And he had to admit he had said them very cruelly. It still bothered him when he recalled the look on her face when he had turned around and told her that. But he had meant those words. Since he had met her, his life had started turning right side up. He found he actually had a little bounce in his step. In the deep dark secret places where he hid things that he did not want to remember and did not want the world to pity him for, he actually thought that maybe there was a little light growing there. Samantha was the one who had done that – gave him the bounce and the light. His Samantha.   
And oh let’s not forget the jealousy. Every time she met a new guy, he would feel it. He would push for more of her time. Work her a little longer so she would not have time to socialize or talk with anyone but him. Even Daniel did not stand a chance against his green eyed monster. Plague or no plague, he showed what would happen if anyone showed a little too much interest in her.   
There was Hanson, the lunatic fringe that he was. Oh he knew about Hanson long before Sam had ever said anything to Daniel back on the planet where Jonas Hanson had decided that he was a god or Jonas thought he was God. He knew how dominate he was when it came to anyone he considered lower than himself and he considered all women lower to him. When he found out that Sam and Jonas had been previously engaged, he tried to get the General to keep her off of this mission but there was no stopping Sam. He knew that if Jonas had his way, he would either kill Sam or she would be made his slave to live there with him.   
Then there was Martouf. When Daniel had told him about Martouf and Samantha sitting together holding hands when they were talking about Jolinar, he felt like he wanted to beat the crap out of Martouf. He was already angry because he felt like him and his team were being held prisoner and not trusted no more than you would trust a 20 foot python. Then when Daniel came back after he went to get them for the meeting with the council and he saw the look on Daniel’s face, he was pissed. Not to mention when Martouf used the memory device on her to find out how Jolinar had escaped Sokar’s prison. When her scream had woken Jack up on that ship and he saw the hurt on her face, he had given Martouf one second to turn the damn device off or he would not be alive to use it on anyone else.  
Oh and let’s not forget this Shanahan guy. Oh he had to admit he was not that bad of a guy, he just did not like him being that close to Sam. When she brought him to the mountain to be healed, Jack watched him like a hawk. One wrong move, just one and Shanahan would have been sent through the gate to some unknown place. But the way he treated her with kid gloves! That’s what turned Jack against him.   
What was the deal with the men that she got involved in. They either wanted to dominate her or they wanted to have her act like she was a 9 to 5 housewife. Hanson wanted to dominate her, Martouf wanted her to be someone other than herself and this Shanahan guy wanted her to act like she worked a 9-5 bank job and could be home every afternoon to cook his diner. Did they not see what an extraordinary woman she was just in herself? She did not need the memories of a dead symbiote or to be the beaten down slave of someone. She could do anything she set her mind to do. She was the most intelligent person he had ever met. And he had met quite a few. He played dumb to keep people on their toes but he had been in the top classes at the academy and he had stood beside some very knowledgeable men and women.   
He also knew that because of the doubt that others had placed in her, sadly, she had very little trust in her own abilities. She struggled to work harder and make everything perfect. She did not want to disappoint anyone. That was the reason she was so quick to jump on him about his trust in her. Well, he would prove it to her. He never has, nor will he ever trust anyone the way he trusts her. He loved Sara. He always would but theirs had been a different type of love than what he felt for Samantha. He protected Sara. Kept his dark past locked up from her because he knew she would not be able to handle the images that would cross her mind when she would think about the torture he had gone through in Iraq.   
Oh she knew he had been imprisoned and she was smart enough to know that he most likely had been tortured. But to allow him to open up to her so she might help him carry some of the baggage, he knew that was an impossible thing to ask. He would come home from a mission and it would be like he turned on a new life. But it was ok at the time because he did not want to drudge up those horrible feelings. Even if he had been wrong before Charlie’s death, it was proven at that time. She was so tore up it was heartbreaking to look at her. Oh, he knew he had been suicidal. After all, that was his plan the first time he had gone through the Star Gate. When he set off that bomb, he was planning on being right there beside it and ending it all. It did not happen that way, thanks to Space Monkey and Ferretti but it had been a close call.  
But would he and Sara been so bad off had they been able to talk to each other about what had happen? They could not even talk about the past and what was between them that had built up a silent wall. But talk was something they did not really do. He knew she no longer blamed him for what had happened but he blamed himself. He could forget when he got drunk but he would not ever forgive himself.  
Yet when Sam and he were stuck on Antarctica and she had asked him about his broken bones, he felt a shiver of light cut through the darkness because he somehow knew that he could talk to her about anything. And he could. He had found it out on the nights that they would have pizza and beer at his house and she would drink a half a bottle of light beer but he refused to allow her to drive home. She had argued the first time he had insisted, but he refused to allow her to leave so it had become a ritual. She would drink very little but enough that he would make her stay. It was a silent game between them and no one was the wiser. The first couple of times she stayed over, she would curl up on the couch to sleep and he would watch her before he would slowly make his way to his bedroom. Then with a little convincing because he started being scared about what would happen between the two of them, he finally talked the other two into staying over and they would grill out and have a great time and forget about what crap they had to put up with on a daily basis. She started crashing in one guest room, Daniel in one with Teal’c kelno’reeming in the living room. It was no problem until he realized that the guest room he had given her was right next to his and he found out one night what kind of mistake that was.   
Or he thought it had been. He had learned a long time ago to drink enough to help him forget for a while but never so much that he would totally relax. If he did not relax, then the nightmares did not come. And he really hated the nightmares!  
Then he and Teal’c had test flew the new X-301 Interceptor and ended up being stuck in outer space. Both of them clinging for life by the time Sam, Daniel and Jacob had found them. It was not a fun experience for any of them. By the time they got back to the SGC and ready to leave to go home, they were all pretty much shaken up by the event so deciding to go to Jack’s for a team night. Getting there and talking about the experience seem to bring up all the other times they had come so close to death – or even to death. Like the time with the Nox when they had all died. It made them realize just how fleeting their lives really were. And the beer and liquor started flowing and except for Teal’c, no one really knew any more what was being said. By the time Teal’c had helped Daniel to his room, Sam was already being helped by Jack. When he had opened the door to the bedroom and helped her to the bed, the desire to stay with her was overwhelming. But not like this. Not when neither of them would really remember what had happened between them. So he had trudged off to his room and did not even remember crashing on his bed.   
It was not until he was awakened by Sam that he realized the mistake he had made. He had allowed himself to relax. And the nightmares had come and come full force. When she finally had him fully awake and aware of his surroundings, she was standing in the corner of his bedroom. He had scared her so bad when she had touched him that she thought he was going to hit her. And he most likely would have if he had not heard her voice waking him up from his nightmare.   
After they had assured each other that they were alright, it was decided to make some coffee and sit out on the deck. Jack usually ended up out there more nights than he stayed in his bedroom. The night breeze and the scenery off of the lake always seemed to sooth his soul and help calm the demons. While they were out there Sam had asked him about his nightmares. At first he was very reluctant to talk about them. But somehow her just sitting out there with him helped ease him a little and after a while of neither saying anything, he started talking. Some details he still left out. She did not need to know about all of it. He did not want to dirty her that way and he still was not sure if she could really handle all of it. But that was a while back. Looking at her now he knew. He knew anything he went through, he could count on her to help him through it.  
Jack shook his head to clear his thoughts and notice that Sam was watching him. The tears had pretty much cleared up but his hand had stayed on her check, slowly rubbing it. He had not even noticed it but she obviously had and he saw the fire alight in her eyes. He went to move his hand but hers closed over his and he felt the jolt of her touch all the way through his body. He could have freed his hand but a part of him did not want to and that part won. He leaned closer to her, hoping beyond hope that she was deep enough into the moment that she would not think about the regulations and stop him. With his hand now flat across her check he pulled her towards him and held his breath, praying she would not stop him. He did not think he could control his actions if she did but Sam did not stop him. Her eyelids slid closed as she felt his lips brush against hers like silk. It was not silk that flew through her body when their lips touched. She was on fire and the more she burned, the more she wanted. Before she realized it she was almost in his lap and there was no way Jack could stop her. He wanted this as much as she did. The waiting had built up and the dam was breaking and all he could think was dear God, let it break!  
“Samantha, my Samantha” Jack whispered her name just loud enough that she was the only one that heard it. To Sam it sounded as if he had growled it from the deepest part of his soul. Oh this was really going to happen! She was finally going to get what she had been longing for. Him, his body close to hers. Him holding her and never letting her go. They were so in tuned to just themselves that they did not hear Ferretti until it was too late.  
“Colonel O’Neill!” Ferretti shouted his name and Jack felt Sam jump and the moment was gone just that quick.


	5. Regulations & Desires do not mix!

Regulations and Desire do not mix!

Sam had watched Jack intensely the whole time he had talked to her. She had listened to him talk about all the times he had gotten his butt stuck in unforeseen circumstances. She had watched him when the unbelief had crossed his face. Unbelief that she would ever think that he did not trust her. But it had been so easy. So easy to believe that someone else did not feel she could do the job that needed to be done.   
She had watched him the whole time she had backed up from him. Not from freight. No matter how angry she got at him, she knew she would never be afraid of him. She backed away from him because down deep, did she really believe what she was saying? All of this time they had spent together, he had never made her feel untrustworthy. She backed up until she could not back up anymore. She turned away from him, not wanting to face him. Not wanting him to see the tears that crept out of her eyes unwanted. How dare she show him how he made her feel!   
She heard him call her name and without even pausing, she automatically came to attention. She saw the anger in his face, but she also saw something else. Something she could not believe. Had she hurt him with her accusation? She felt it when he grabbed her arm and started pulling her over to the back seat of the plane. What could he show her to make her ever believe that he trusted her with his life? To make her believe that He did not think she was being reckless and putting hers in danger? What made him always think that there was danger around every corner, no matter what planet they were on?  
The next thoughts she had were wrenched completely away from her when she saw the face of the man sitting in the last row. It was at first hard to distinguish his facial features, seeing as his jaw looked like it had been replaced on the side of his face. Yet, there was enough clarity there that she knew the minute she looked into his eyes who he was. This man had tormented her and her friends beyond belief. It was because of him that she had almost lost her life on the Prometheus when he and his friends pretended to be a news crew.  
Even more than the fact of what had happened on the Prometheus, this guy had also had someone else with him who had caused Sam many a sleepless night. When they had taken over the Prometheus, Adrian Conrad had also been involved. Sam could not help the shiver that ran down her spine thinking of the time she had spent captive by that idiot. She had never told the Colonel about her nightmares, but for some reason she felt he knew she had them.   
Sam felt Jack pulling on her again, and as she looked up at him, she saw the guilt reflected from her face in his eyes. How could she have accused him of not trusting her? Sam dropped her chin. She did not want to see the hurt that she just knew he had written all over his face. She allowed him to lead her wherever he was going. The fight she had in her was gone. She was spent.   
She knew now that he had been right in knowing that there was trouble lurking. She should have known to begin with because of his instincts. Sam was not new to Jack’s famous gut. She knew that it was his gut that had saved them countless times on other planets. However, since Kanaan she had begun doubting his trust in her judgement. As a matter of fact, she had her doubts of anyone ever trusting her judgement again.   
Sam felt herself being pushed lightly into a seat and realized that Jack had lead them back up towards the front of the plane and he had taken a seat beside her. She had listened to him tell her about all the times she supposedly had saved his butt. Yet he did not realize how many times she had messed up trying to find the correct solutions.   
She had told the General so many different ways she thought they could save him the day he was pinned to the wall in the gate room that even the General doubted her last decision. When he was stuck on Edora, she did not think he was ever going to get home no matter what she tried. The Asgard could not, the Tokra were too busy and the blasted gate just would not connect.   
Sam felt his finger on her chin and felt her face being raised to look at him. She still could not stop the tears from flowing but this time it was because of the guilt she was feeling for not trusting him. She felt the calloused knuckles rub against her checks and her face pressed up against his hand. It felt so good. So much said in that one touch. Things like “don’t worry about anything, we are going to be ok” and “no matter what comes between us, the love is stronger” or better yet “we have waited long enough, it’s our time now’. And she wanted these words to be true.  
Sam was so tired of skirting around the edge of love. She knew that she had never really had love with any of the men she had been with. There was only one man whom she belonged to. It was not some cop from back home. She had proved that the day the base had been closed off due to the virus that they had brought back from P3X-797. All the men that were on the base and who did she go after. Colonel Jack O’Neill, that’s who!  
Janet had told her the reason she did was because the disease caused the woman to go after the most dominate male, the one who would give her the strongest offspring. Yet, she also knew in the back of her mind that even then, only after knowing him for a year, that she wanted him as the man in her life.   
When Jack had disappeared with Maybourne, she felt like she was going to go crazy before she would see him again. They had just lost Daniel (for the umpteenth time) and the grief of losing Jack was almost too much to bare. At least that was the excuse she had given Teal’c. There was no way she would admit to another team member that she was in love with the leader. Although she must admit, she believed Teal’c and Daniel already had figure that out.  
Sam felt more than saw the eyes of Jack watching her. She felt more then heard the words that were running through his mind. The same words that were running through hers. She wanted him and he wanted her. No more waiting. They were both tired of waiting. She felt the fire light in her body and she saw the reflection of it in his eyes. She felt his hand even out on her check as his other hand released hers and went to rest on the back of her neck.   
And the kiss came. Nothing forceful but the minute their lips touched, Sam felt as if she had been struck by lightning. She felt Jack ease up and was scared that he had started thinking about the same thing that had kept them apart for over 6 years. But not this time. It was not going to stop them this time and with that thought, Sam gave a little more initiative into the kiss and the magic came alive. She could not get close enough to him. She felt like there was an ocean of water between them and so to rectify the distance, Sam was almost in Jack’s lap. Sam heard Jack when he growled her name and she knew she was on fire.  
There was nothing that she wanted more than for her to be held by him at that very moment. She wanted to feel his body up against hers. Nothing between them but their skin. Her hands started roaming and feeling. She had to have this, she had waited so long and finally it was coming true. He was not going to stop this time and she sure as heck was not going to stop him. Regulations be cursed, she had what she had wanted for six years and the hunger was all she could feel. If she had her way right now, she would soon quench that hunger.   
Sam heard the Colonel’s name being called but she ignored it. Whoever it was, would have to wait. Nothing was stopping this from happening. Then she heard it again, and this time it registered. Colonel O’Neill the voice said and it all came flooding back. The reason they could not be doing what they so wanted to finish doing at that moment. But it could not happen, it would probably never happen and so Sam started to move, for the moment was gone.  
Jack caught her before she could get to far away. He laid his forehead against hers and she heard the despairing sigh that erupted from both of their souls. He looked into her eyes and saw the same thing he knew was in his – reality. The simple reality that as long as they both served this world, they could never be together. Because deep down they both knew that as long as there was the slightest threat out there in the universe, they would always serve.  
Sam moved back in her seat and turned to face the window. Jack knew the tears were coming again but not because of what had happened earlier between them, it was because of what could not happen between them. With that thought in his head he turned to face Ferretti. Anger flooded through his body turning him cold where just moments ago he had felt as if he were in a volcano.   
Ferretti, however, did not flinch. He knew O’Neill. Had known Jack for most of his career in the Air Force. And he also knew that what he had just walked in on should not be happening. Oh he had nothing wrong with O’Neill finally having the woman he wanted and he sure did not have a problem with Carter achieving the same goal. But the Air Force did and as long as they were both still in the military, he was not about to let them throw their careers away because they got a little emotional.   
“Sir, if I can see you for a moment in the cockpit.” He stated the words and turned before Jack could give him a comment back and he would have to say something in front of Major Carter that would embarrass her or upset her even more. Ferretti had not liked it earlier when Jack was trying to hide things from the Major and he sure did not like it when he heard her accuse Jack of what she had. He also knew that they cared about each other.  
Heck, everybody in the SGC knew that. But knowing it and saying it out loud or to any “guest” who may arrive at the mountain never happened. O’Neill and Major Carter had earned enough respect that no one would jeopardize their careers. So it was kept hushed and Ferretti believed that Jack and Sam probably did not even realize that they were not fooling anyone.   
Jack looked over at Sam one more time and then followed Ferretti into the cockpit. God, he was pissed. Could people not just leave the two of them alone?  
“This had better be good, Ferretti” Jack stated between clenched teeth. Mathews was watching the men but had not said anything as of yet. Jack knew that both of them had most likely seen what had transpired between him and Sam but at this point he really did not give a crap. He knew neither of them would say a word about it to anyone so what were they so worried about?  
“Jack, man I know what this is doing to you but you have got to cool it. You may have screwed up your career but hers is still very active. Hell, yours is too as long as the General has something to say about it. Especially since we know for a fact that there are grounds to support your claim. Man, don’t mess up her career like this.”  
Jack looked at Ferretti and then at Matthews. How much did he really know about Matthews? Sure, they served together a couple of times but he and Makepeace had served together quite a few times and look what happened with him. Makepeace fell in with the rogue NID and Maybourne because he felt acquiring help to defeat the Goa’uld the right way was taking too long. Could Matthews be turned just as easy? Jack shook his head. Ok now he was letting paranoia slip into him. To be sure the two men sitting in this cockpit were on the same side as he was.   
“Com’on Ferretti, you know me better than that. I would have stopped it before it got that out of control. I knew where we were and what was going on the whole time.”  
“Sure Jack, that why I called you three times before you finally snapped out of it. From what I saw things were getting pretty heated between you two.” Ferretti saw the look that passed Jack’s face and he actually had to admit he felt sorry for them both. “Look man, if I were in your shoes I would have already been thrown out if I had to work side by side with the lady I was in love with and couldn’t touch her. Hell if Jane and I worked together, to be honest with you, we would never get anything done and we been married longer then you and Major Carter have known each other. I’m just saying I understand. But man you can’t let this happen. Even if you don’t want to continue your career, you cannot touch her like that until you are officially off of her chart as her commanding officer.”  
Jack rubbed his hands over his face and into his hair. The frustration of knowing Ferretti being right was eating the heck out of him. Why did things have to be so complicated? Why, after almost seven years of living without the love of a woman did he have to go and fall for one he could not have? Damn he was a screwed up man. Messed up the first love of his life because he had to go and leave his gun laying out where his six year old son could get it and shoot himself. Then he went and fell in love with his 2IC. Boy did fate love playing with him.   
“Jack man I understand I really do but you…..”  
“I got it, Ferretti. Let it go! It won’t happen again.” Jack winced when he said the last words. Could he honestly admit that he could leave Samantha alone? His body burned just looking at her. Even knowing that he had been caught, he wanted nothing more than to go back to her and pull her into him as far as he could and never let her go.   
Jack knew deep down that General Hammond would do everything in his power to keep Jack in the service and 2IC of the SGC. And a part of him was glad for this but there seemed to be a greater part of him that was tired of it. Tired of giving up what he wanted just to save the world again. Especially when it seemed the people that should be supporting their efforts the most were the ones that seemed to want to get rid of them.   
Jack shook his head. The thoughts were getting too much. He needed sleep but it was too late for that. They would be landing soon and he had used most of the flight time arguing with Carter. He really needed to be at his best just in case Carter insisted on going to Area 51 first. He would try to convince her to go get something to eat, rest and then head to Nellis early tomorrow morning.   
Jack had contacted Hammond and let him know about the two guys on the back of the plane and he should have someone waiting to take them into custody at the airport. The last thing they needed was for the NID to find out that Jack was with Samantha. As far as they and Senator Kinsey were supposed to know, he was hiding out at his cabin in Minnesota. That is what they needed to keep thinking if he wanted this to work the way he was hoping it would.   
Hammond had told him that the President had informed Homeland Security that Jack would be in the area for 24 hours and that he would have all jurisdiction should something happen to Carter. But was that still the case with what had transpired at the mountain? Was the President still behind him being there with Carter even if it was just 24 hours? Jack and Hammond were the only two that knew he had no plans of leaving Area 51 without Carter.   
Jack looked back at Matthews and then turned to walk back to where Carter was still sitting.   
“Is everything ok, Sir?” She asked and Jack winced. He hated that word. There was not another word in the English dictionary that he hated more than Sir. Because each time she said it, another part of him died. Jack knew that the moment they had encountered earlier was gone and it would be a good while before Sam would allow herself to become that vulnerable again to him. Not because she did not want it too. Jack knew better than that. He felt her desire every time they touched. But because she knew what was at stake for him and her both. There was no way she would allow her actions to cause him to be court-martialed for fraternization.   
“Yeahsureyabetcha, Carter. Everything is just down right peachy!” He realized his voice had a cruel edge to it but he could not help it. Damn he was tired of this. He sat down in the seat across the row from hers and laid his chair back. Even with his eyes closed he could feel Carter’s eyes drilling holes in him. “Carter, you are making my brain hurt with yours going as fast as it is. Leave it be, everything will work out. After all, we are SG1. Even if we get the crap beat out of us, we still hang around to save the day the next time.”  
Carter turned back to look out of the window. She knew he was hurting and angry because she was. Things were so freaking complicated. She could not ask herself why had she not stayed out of the military and then she could have had him because if she had not joined the Air Force odds were she never would have met him. Could she imagine her life without Jonathon Jack O’Neill? She had tried. She had tried so many times to get him out of her mind and heart but no matter how hard she had tried, he was always there. Just a thought or a heartbeat away.   
Oh God, the torture was never ending. The nights she would go to bed hurting from desire for him. Especially when they would come back from a mission and things had gotten way to close to them losing their lives and he would touch her to make sure she was alright or look at her a certain way or even the times he would pull her close and hold her while she cried.   
She would lay in bed and soon she would envision him with her and the desire to have him touching her would become so strong that she would give into the urges and bring herself release while his face danced in her mind and his name rolled off of her lips. And she would weep when it was over with because she would know that would be all there ever could be to their relationship. It was not that bad until they were stuck on P3R-118 but after that, the release, no matter how many times she would seem to achieve it, the desire seemed to never end. It was a constant flow now every time he was around her. There were times when he was not around her and just the thought of him would evoke the desire.   
But Sam knew and so did Jack that it would never be. As long as there were hostiles in the universe and on earth, their relationship would never be more than what it already was. Forbidden kisses stolen and touches that stoked the fire when the desire was too strong to fight alone.


	6. Deception comes in many faces!

Deception comes with many faces

The plane ride was over, the jerks had been turned over to Homeland Security, Ferretti and Matthews were on their way back to Colorado. That left him and Sam. The plan was to go get something to eat, crash and then for her to report to Nellis the next morning. That was the plan anyway.   
Jack strode over to Sam, took her cases from the young man that was going to carry them over to the car that Homeland Security had sent, and took Sam by the elbow to lead her to a different vehicle. Sam looked at Jack and then looked back at the car and the young driver. He was looking at Jack and Sam like they were crazy.   
“I got this man, you good to go. I will let Homeland Security know that I will have her at Nellis first thing in the morning.” Jack waved at the guy, looked at Sam and wiggled his eyebrows. Then he walked over to a black F250 and opened up the passenger door to let Sam in. He opened up his door, put her cases in the back and slid into the driver’s seat.  
“Where to eat first or our hotel room first? Your choice, either is fine with me.” Jack looked as Sam as he was speaking. He noticed her small smile and wondered what was going through her mind. God, did she ever let that poor thing rest? “What ya thinking about Carter? I hear your wheels turning from here. If you don’t know what you want to eat we can google some places when we get to the hotel and then go get something to eat. We already know where you are staying and I have a room booked there for a couple of nights.”   
Sam gave him a short nod and turned to look out of the truck window. The smile she did have on her face was suddenly gone and Jack could not figure out what he had said to cause the air to go from warm to chilly just that quickly. He reached over and touched her hand that was laying on the seat between them. When she felt his hand, she tried to pull hers out from under his but he increased the pressure on hers and she could not move it. She glanced up at him and he could not believe the hurt that was in her eyes.  
“What did I do Carter? What did I day?” Jack asked the question and watched Sam’s face hoping for a clue but there was not one. And then it hit him. The comment about the hotel room. He had not made it clear when he first said something that there would be two rooms. She had misunderstand him and a part of her had been hoping that they would be spending the evening together in the same room. Not necessarily doing anything that could be construed as being wrong but like they did off world when they had to share a tent together. Or on team nights when they would sit in the dark and talk about things that they did not want anyone else to know.   
“Carter, you know that’s not possible. What you are wishing for cannot happen.”  
“But I don’t understand. We do it all the time off world or at your place. Even at mine we sit in the living room and talk until early morning. I just don’t want to be alone tonight. After seeing Thompson on the plane, I don’t feel so sure about this anymore.”  
Sam looked at Jack and he saw the hope she had in her eyes. Maybe it would be okay. Heck like she said, they had shared a lot of nights together and nothing had happened. Especially with him having to be on guard even more here, to be sure he could keep his mind on what he needed to. He smiled at her and nodded his head. He would try it and see what happened. He was going to be here for a while so the first night would not hurt.  
They pulled into the parking lot of the hotel and Jack grabbed his and Sam’s bags. As they walked into the hotel, Jack scanned the area around them looking for anyone who might ring a bell with the NID or Kinsey. Everything seemed ok so hopefully no one still knew that he had come with Sam.  
Sam got the key to her room and Jack got his and they headed up to the sixth floor to put their bags away and find a place to either go eat or have something delivered. Jack and Sam had decided to go ahead and shower and just order in since there was a restaurant in the hotel that would deliver room service. That would be best, as Jack had explained in the elevator, the less people who saw him with her the better the chances were that he would remain unknown. And he did not want anyone to know that he was here in Nevada with her if at all possible.   
When they reached Sam’s door, Jack took her key and pushed her a little away from the front of the door. He put his fingers to his lips and held up his hand. Sam understand what he was doing and it did not bother her that Jack had stepped in front of her instead of letting her handle it. She knew now that Jack trusted her enough to know she would have checked her room thoroughly. Sam also knew that while he respected that she was a fully capable soldier, he was all male and he would do the same thing to keep her protected that he would for a woman whom he knew had never been in a combat situation.   
Jack checked the entrance, the sitting room and then moved into her bedroom and out onto the balcony, checking everything around the hotel that he could see. Having one of the corner rooms almost assured him that there was not much on the ground that he could not see but that also meant that Sam could be seen almost from any point too. He pulled the doors closed and shut the curtains. He looked at Sam as he came back in and Sam knew he was telling her that the balcony was off limits. A high powered rifle could cut her down like a knife through butter if it had the right person behind the trigger.   
Jack then went next door to take a shower while Sam was doing the same thing. Jack felt the steaming hot water running over his body and his thoughts moved to Sam. He knew he had given in way too easy about staying with her tonight. He also knew that when he was with her, he seemed to lose all reasoning when it came to what they should and should not be doing. Oh well, screw it! Like she said, they did it all the time when they left the base and would have team nights together with Teal’c and Daniel. But that was the catch, wasn’t it Jack o’boy. You knew that there was always someone else there with you two. In the back of your mind – you always knew that Teal’c would stop it before it got too far. Well O’Neill, Teal’c isn’t with you two tonight!   
Jack shrugged the thought away. To be sure he could control himself for one night. And tomorrow night he would make it plan that he would be in his room. He was staying with her tonight because she was scared and because he wanted to make damn sure there was not anyone snooping around the hotel. Like he said earlier, he would stay with her tonight and be in his own room tomorrow night.  
Sam had finished showering and was getting dressed when she heard the knock on the door. It had to be Jack. She kept forgetting how quick he was when taking a shower or eating. She had been told by her family that she was fast but she had never seen anyone that could take care of what they needed to take care of as fast as Jack could. She laughed to herself. Obviously more of that Special Forces at play.  
Sam finished up and went to get the door. As she opened it, someone grabbed her and pushed her against the wall. She heard the door slam shut. She could not see anything because she was facing the wall but her feet were kicking backwards as hard as she could get them to. She felt the person behind her as they pushed themselves against her. Her whole body was now pressed against the wall with her hands pinned in front of her. She felt the breath as the face leaned down towards her. And then she smelt it. The smell only familiar with one person. What the heck was he doing?   
“Do not ever open a door again, until you know for sure who is on the other side!” He growled the words at her. “Damn, Carter, don’t you realize what you are walking into here?” What more do I have to do to make you go on high alert? Just because I am here with you doesn’t mean you need to let your guard down. You know better than that crap.”  
“Oh God Jack! You scared the crap out of me! I just figured it was you.”  
“But you didn’t know for sure, did you?”  
“No I didn’t.” Sam tried to move to face Jack but she could not.  
Jack still had Sam pressed against the wall but he let up a little and she turned to face him. Maybe she had just felt like it was him. After all no matter where they were the other one just seemed to know where to find them. It was like a weird connection. He thought it was because of all the times they had had to count on each other on missions but he did not have that same connection with Teal’c or Daniel.   
Jack knew he should move. When Sam turned around he had felt the desire start in the pit of his stomach, slightly cooling the anger that had been there just seconds before. He heard the voice in the back of his mind telling him to move and he knew he was asking for trouble but he could not move. He looked down at her and saw the haziness in her eyes. He knew his reflected the same.  
Sam felt the heat pouring from her body and knew it was more than the hot shower she had just taken. God, he was so close to her. After realizing that it was him who had pushed her against the wall, she could actually feel the desire that she normally had for him mounting twice as fast. She wanted him and she wanted him now. She felt him start to ease back and she leaned forward so her body was back against his.   
Jack felt her move closer to him and knew there was no escaping it this time. He leaned down towards her face and looked at her. He wanted her as bad as she wanted him but there was no going back. Once they crossed this line that would be it. They would either be hiding what they were doing forever, praying no one found out or one of them would be leaving the service a.s.a.p.   
“Are you sure about this, Samantha? Because I will be honest with you, once we start there will be no stopping this time. I don’t give a crap if the world falls apart. If we start this, you are mine.” He stated the words to her as he moved his mouth to her ear  
She felt his mouth close to her ear and shivered all the way to her toes when she heard his breathily whisper. Oh God, how she wanted this. As if in answer to his question she turned her face towards his and place a hard kiss on his lips. His response was automatic. The kiss became his to control and he did. She felt him take over and the want for him flew through her body like a tornado through a Kansas prairie. He backed up and looked at her and then his lips crushed back down hard on hers. He fought for her to open her mouth and she did. His tongue delved inside and was soon doing battle with hers. It was like a sparring match between them. He wanted complete control and her fighting for just a little.   
He moved from her lips and traveled further down. He licked and bit at the pulsating vein on the side of her throat. His groin ached as he heard her moan from pure desire. The sound made his body race but he reigned it in. There was no way he was going to lose control of this situation until he could fully enjoy it. He knew already it would be hard to keep it from going to quick, but he was sure going to give it his best. He wanted this to last as long as possible for both of them.   
Sam could not believe it when she felt the firmness of him against her. She already knew she was ready for him. She had been wet since she had stepped out of the shower and thought about him staying with her. Finally, she was getting what she had wanted for so long. Nothing else crossed her mind. This was what her heart had wanted since the day she had heard him arguing with the General about taking her to Abydos with him.  
Jack moved his mouth further down until he was nibbling and licking the space above her low cut tank top. He looked up at her, saw no resistance and then moved his hand to her side and up under her top. His thump brushed against the silkiness of her bra and he felt her harden nipple under the material. He felt her push against his groin and the simple action spurred him on. He placed both of his hands on her backside and before Sam knew what was happening, she was straddling him.   
At that very moment, his cell phone rang. He knew the ring too. It was Teal’c and there was no not answering Teal’c. He would continue to call until Jack answered and where this was leading, it was better to answer now than to wait. He put his forehead against Sam’s and took a deep breath. This could not be happening, not now. He wanted so bad to ignore the ringing but the moment was gone anyway and about that time Sam’s phone started ringing.   
Jack felt Sam trying to move back to the ground so he moved his hands. Taking them up to his face, he scrubbed it until Sam thought he was going to rub the skin completely off and then she jumped as his hand slammed hard into the wall above her head. Frustration was not the word to describe how he was feeling. He believed if he could get to Teal’c and Daniel, he would be tempted to send them to an uncharted world. Because without even looking he knew that was who was calling Sam – Daniel.  
Sam ducked under Jack’s arm and went to pick her phone up off the bedside table. When she saw who had called, she looked up at Jack and then turned and started towards the balcony. She remembered just as she reached for the handle that he had made it clear that she was not to go out there. But she had to. There was no way she was taking this call with him in the room with her. Not only that, she needed some cold wind on her and she could get it outside. She turned around and noticing that he had walked towards the small sitting area that was off to the side of the entrance way, she slid out of the balcony door.  
“Teal’c man, there had better be a replicator invasion going on!” Jack growled into the phone. He sat down hard on the couch and without even looking to see if there was something on the coffee table – his feet automatically landed on it. He was pissed and the fact that he knew why he was so angry, made him even more pissed. He knew that Teal’c and Daniel had just saved Sam’s career. If they had been even five minutes later calling them, there would have been no since in her even going to Area 51 tomorrow.   
God that woman caused him to do things without thinking! He knew better than what had just happened between them but how he wanted it. He knew he shouldn’t but he also knew that given the opportunity, he would take her in a split second. He had no control when it came to Samantha Carter.  
“O’Neill, do you hear me?’ Teal’c called loudly into the phone and broke Jack from his deep thoughts.   
“Yeah Teal’c I hear you. Is there something wrong?”   
Teal’c heard the frustration in Jack’s voice but he was not sure what was going on. He figured he was frustrated because of Sam and what had happened on the mountain.  
“O’Neill are you with Major Carter?”  
The simple question gave Jack pause. Whatever may be circulating the mountain, Teal’c knew Jack well enough to know that he would not have allowed Carter to get on a plane and come to Nellis without him with her. He just wanted confirmation that Jack was there and everything was ok.   
When Jack had left the mountain, Teal’c had already met with Bra’tac and had left to go to Chulac. He would have left with Jack had he been there and maybe in a way that would have been a good thing. Jack turned around to look at Sam. It would have been safer for Sam’s career if Teal’c had been with them.   
“Yes, Teal’c I am here at Nellis with Carter. She is safe for now……..Not sure how long I will be here.” Jack had gotten up from the couch and had walked into the entrance way where he could see into Sam’s bedroom. But he could not see Sam. He was half listening to Teal’c but his mind had started going crazy. What happened to Sam? Where was she?   
“Teal’c man, I’m gonna have to call you back. And yes, if you want to hop a plane and come here that’s not a problem if the General has put you on down time. I don’t want you nor Daniel getting into trouble with the top dogs because of me.”   
Teal’c said goodbye and in his mind Jack could actually see the man lower his head and raise it out of respect for what Jack had said. But then he went back to hunting for Sam. He stepped all the way into the bedroom and then he saw the curtains blowing. To be sure, she would not have gone out there after he had made it clear that it was too dangerous. Sam is not stupid and she does not do stupid things. Not unless she is caught up in something, Jack headed towards the balcony.   
“Samantha, I swear to God, if you are out there and you are not hurt, I am going to kill you myself!!” Jack stated rather loudly as he pushed the curtain aside and stepped out on the balcony. Just as his foot touched the stone floor of the balcony, he was pushed backwards when something ran into him. He heard the last few comments between Pete and Sam and he was not surprised when she slammed the phone shut. Her voice sounded choked and he knew she was crying.   
The conversation between Pete and Sam had not been a good one. Sam had tried to tell Pete before she left the mountain that it was over. He was not the one for her and she flatly refused to keep stringing him along. That was when the accusations started. Not menacing but the implication was there when he had made the statements he had. Pete apologized and made it clear that he did not mean what he had said but he had been hurt.   
But just now on the phone, Pete had been down right mean. To threaten to tell General Hammond and anyone else that would listen that she and Colonel O’Neill were sleeping together just to get her to stay with him. That had been the straw. She had begged him not to do that but she had still refused to give in. There was no way she would be staying with him now. And what he had said about the Colonel. How he was taking advantage of her and she would never get anywhere in her career because of him. Then he had said the one thing that hurt her the most. The one thing that had been at the back of her mind since the day she had met Jack O’Neil.   
She could never really have him. Jack would always be out of her reach. That the love she had for him would never be able to be shared and if, just if, Jack did feel the same about her, then it did not really matter because he was in the same fix. And then Pete laughed, a cruel laugh.  
“Did you really just laugh? You think it is funny that two people are in love with each other and because of fate they can never be together? How could you be that cruel?”  
“Because you are being cruel to me. I am here, waiting. Why not share your life with me instead of wasting it on someone you cannot have. If I cannot have you, I hope you never get the one you want.”  
“Goodbye Pete.” Sam could barely get the words out because of the lump in her throat. What was the deal with her and men anyway? She turned to head back into the room, her eyes clouding over with tears. She felt herself collide into something and knowing it was Jack, she felt herself give in to the sadness. Before he had a chance to say anything the tears were coming. This time, she did not wait until she was by herself to allow the despair of their fate to overwhelm her. This time she allowed him to see her pain and her tears. This time there was no stopping them.  
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO  
Standing across the street, looking up at the balcony through a pair of service issued binoculars, stood a man that should have already left Nevada to head back to Colorado. But he had other business to take care of first. He reached in his coat pocket and took out his cell phone. While he waited for the person on the other end to pick up, he watched the couple standing there. “Nothing going on between them, my ass” he thought to himself. Well it did not matter anyway. They would soon be out of the picture.  
“Hello Senator. Yes sir everything is going according to plan. He is supposed to take her to Area 51 in the morning and then leave. Yes sir I will make sure he isn’t around after tomorrow. Not a problem at all Senator, I just happen to believe the same way you do. Some people are just too damn smart for their own good.” He dropped his cell phone back in his Air Force issued jacket as a smile covered his face. He had watched O’Neill climb the ladder while he had been overlooked and he was ready for some good revenge. This was the opportunity to fulfil that desire and by God he was going to. Mathews looked once more at the balcony and then headed to the car parked at the corner. Time to go get a drink.  
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO  
I know, I know – too many sad moments between Jack and Sam but I promise we will get through this and the end will be worth it. Just stick by me, the night isn’t over yet for our favorite couple!!


	7. Finally Mine!

Finally, mine!

Jack held Sam close to him while she shook with grief from the pain she felt. He knew it was not only the fact that Pete had hurt her. Oh that bothered her. However, Jack knew that it was the reality in the words that Pete had said. Jack knew how Sam felt because he felt it every time he looked at her. He was in love with a woman that if everyone else had their way, he would never be allowed to call her his own. And that tore him up inside as much as it was tearing Sam up right now.   
He continued to hold her, rubbing her back with one hand while another held her head to his shoulder. He would stand here forever holding her if she would let him but he knew that the minute she felt she was calm she would draw away. However, it seemed he may have been wrong this time.  
Jack felt Sam’s head turn a little until her lips were laying against his collar bone and he felt the kiss that she placed there. And though it was a light kiss, to Jack it felt like she had touched him with a branding iron, marking him as her own. He moved his hand until it was under her chin and as he raised her face, he saw the darkness of her eyes. His comforting her had turned into something else – something he had not expected but he would not turn away from.  
He put his head down and his lips touched hers and the electricity shot through them both. Jack did not know if his shivering was caused because of Sam or if it was the other way. All he knew was that every time they connected, it felt more and more right.   
Jack pulled back and locked eyes with Sam. Although he was burning up with desire for her, he wanted to make sure she knew what was going to happen.  
“No phone calls this time, Samantha. No disturbances at all. There will be no stopping…”  
Before Jack could finish, Sam had pulled his head back down to hers and kissed him with such fierceness that it felt as if she were dying of thirst. Jack picked her up and she straddled him as he turned and walked back into her bedroom. His hands roamed her body, feeling the tightness of her abdomen. Jack scraped his thumb across Sam’s breast and felt her nipple harden through the material.  
Sam jerked when she felt his callused fingers cover her breast and could not hold back the moan that came from her throat. Jack knew that the passion was burning in both of them and the desire to control it had long since gone. If he wanted her to enjoy this, he was going to have to find a way to control himself.  
Jack continued to allow his lips to roam while he carried her towards the bedroom. He felt his legs bump into the foot of her bed and suddenly she was laying under him. He raised her arms above her head with one hand and Sam felt the cool breeze of the room caress her stomach as he lifted her tank top over her head with the other hand. Soon her top was off and laying on the floor.  
He began to caress her body as he slowly lowered her bra off of her shoulders. With each piece of bare skin he uncovered, he recovered with the heat from his lips. Passion swirled in her body like a whirlpool and she knew any minute she was going to die.  
Jack looked up and saw Sam’s eyes fluttering and felt her chest rise with anticipation as his hand covered her breast again, this time with no cloth in-between. When he lowered his head so that his tongue could caress her nipple, he felt her body jump with desire and knew she was not going to last very long. But she was not the only one.  
He knew he was fighting a controlling battle with his own body but he wanted to savor this moment for as long as possible. He wanted to watch her slithering with uncontrolled passion for him. Jack wanted Sam ready when he finally made her his own. He slowed down a little as he toyed with her breast, kissing them, licking them and nipping at them until Sam thought she was going to scream.  
Sam thought her body was on fire and although she was no virgin, she had never felt like this before. There were parts of her body that was responding to Jack that she never even knew had feelings. His hands were caressing her body and his tongue was following the same path, making her feel as if she were covered with silk. Than he would blow his breath on her and cause her skin to tingle until it felt as if she had fire trailing through her blood.  
“I have to be dreaming, there is no way a man can make you feel like this.” Sam thought aloud. She heard his low deep laugh and spasms ricocheted through her body.   
“Then open your eyes Samantha. There will be no more dreaming alone at night, trying to achieve the desire that we both crave. You are mine, completely mine and no one or nothing is ever going to come between us again.” Jack growled the words as his voice was deep with the want and need of his own body that he was trying to keep under control while he pleasured hers. He wanted to brand her, make her his own to the point where she would never even have to think about who she belonged to.  
Before long Sam was not even aware of her surroundings anymore and she did not care. All she knew was that she had an increasing ache that she wanted taken care of. She succeeded in pulling her hand from Jack’s grasp and grabbed Jack’s hand and begin to push it towards her panties. Jack laughed again, caught her hand and once again held it above her head while his tongue and lips continued to dance upon her burning flesh.   
It was too much and just when Sam thought her heart could not last another second and her body was going to explode, Jack took his hand and moved it between her legs. She felt his hand slip in between her thighs and through the lace of her black panties. Sam screamed when he rubbed his finger across the peak of her excitement. Wave after wave of ecstasy hit her like a tsunami.  
Jack stood up to undress and watched Sam, completely amazed. He could not help himself. Never before had he gotten this excited just by watching the woman he was with, including Sara. When she begin to slow down, he slowly laid his body on top of hers and used his knees to spread her even wider. He lowered himself until his manhood was laying in the opening and just when Sam opened her eyes and looked directly into his, he pushed and felt as if the hotel was trembling around his own trembling body.   
When he felt her woman hood close around him, he could barely control his own body. Jack moved no further until he felt her begin to move beneath him, whimpering for release and whispering his name. He slowly moved and watched her eyes widen with pure hunger. Sam was matching him with each movement and soon they were moving so fast she just knew they had left earth and was shooting straight towards the pearly gates.  
Suddenly, she felt a tightening taking place and she begin to think she was being wound up like a rubber band. Sam had never felt this before. She felt as if she was coiled like a spring waiting to be sprung.   
“Whatever it is you are doing, I sure hope you don’t plan to stop.” She said it so husky that Jack groaned with pleasure. He felt he needed to be cooled down before he blew up. All he knew was they were both heading for release and it would not be much longer. With a deep growl, he pulled completely out and then braced himself.   
“Are you ready, my Samantha? Are you ready to feel the release you have been begging for? Hold on to me, my love!”  
He braced himself as he pushed in to her very core. Sam’s body rose to meet his and once they were joined again, the volcano blew and the whole world begin tumbling down around them. As they held onto each other his tongue drove deep into her throat as his arms pulled her closer and closer to his body and her nails dug furrows down his back. Screaming his name, Sam prayed that this moment would never end. Having him molded into her body felt like her world was finally complete.  
Slowly reality came around and with small kisses, Jack caressed Sam and spoke words out loud that he had kept deep inside him all this time. He loved her, had since he first rested his eyes upon her in the briefing room. Sam smiled at him with a smile that spoke of her love, desire and feelings for him. She did not need to speak the words, her whole body screamed them at him. He had found his soul mate and she had found hers. As he rolled over so that he was laying on the bed, he pulled her on top of him and held her as if she would vaporize at any moment. Jack swore in that instance that no one would take her away from him. Soon sleep claimed them both, neither knowing what tomorrow held for them.  
QQQQQQQQQQQQQ  
Ferretti felt the back of his head and cussed. He could not believe what had happened. Then again, he was not quite sure he remembered what did happen. All he knew for sure was he needed to get in touch with Jack and with General Hammond as soon as possible. He did not know how long he had been out, but he knew that his very close friend and Major Carter were in serious danger.   
He stood, brushing his self-off and reached for his cell phone that should have been in his coat pocket. He realized that would have been too convenient. Damn, he did not even know where he was. The last thing he remembered was getting in the car with Matthews and talking about getting something to eat before heading back to Colorado. Next thing he knew, he was being hit over the head by Matthews and left in some alley.  
God, he felt like a fool! He knew better than to just blindly trust someone, especially when dealing with the creeps that he and O’Neill had been dealing with lately. After all, who could forget how they had treated Kawalsky when they found out he had a goa’uld in him. And it was not like they had not had other friends turn on them since all this had begun. Men who thought it would be more beneficial for them to steal the things they needed from alien races then to make allies with them. Maybourne, Senator Kinsey, and the NID had caused a lot of good men to go bad.   
Ferretti only knew one thing right now – he knew he had to get help. The way Matthews was talking when he thought he was still out, whomever he was working for does not plan on Sam or Jack coming back from Nevada alive. The man should have wacked Ferretti a little harder on the head if he planned on keeping him down. Going through the StarGate and facing hostiles had definitely hardened his head.   
QQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQ  
Jack slowly opened his eyes, and immediately knew where he was and who he was with. It was not quite morning yet but the moon was not as high up in the sky so he knew it had to be getting close. He hated that thought. Soon he would be dropping her off at Groom’s Lake and he really did not want to. And because of what took place just a few hours ok, he really did not feel good about leaving her.  
He felt Sam’s fingernails as they played across his chest. Within seconds, everything came flooding back. So it was not a dream. They had climbed the skies last night and touched the stars together. He smiled down at her but she did not notice him. He kept his breathing as even as possible so as not to spook her but his curiosity had him waiting to see what she was up to.  
Sam did not notice when Jack woke up. She was still in shock that she had woke up beside him, curled in the fold of his arm. And it had felt so right. So much love poured from her when she had glanced up and saw him sleeping there, with a peaceful look on his face. It was not very often that she got to see Jack looking like this. She glanced down at his nearly uncovered body and want started building again in her.   
“My god, Sam! Control yourself, you act as if you have never had a man before!!” Sam chided herself and felt her face grow hot. The truth was she had been with a man before. Actually she had been with three men but none of them had treated her the way Jack had last night. He made sure her needs were met before he even begin to take pleasure for himself. The places he touched and explored had never been touched by a man before.   
Tears sprang in her eyes unbidden when she thought of the way Jonah had used her on the nights that he had made her have sex with him. At the beginning of their relationship, things were different. Oh there was a dark side to him but she thought it was normal. Then the demands started and things actually became very scary. And the scariest part was the way she begin to feel as if she deserved what he did to her.   
Jack felt the difference in the way Sam was caressing him and it worried him. He felt her shiver as she tried to move even closer to him as if something dark were after her. He rubbed his hand down her back and felt her jump. “Ok something was definitely wrong.” Jack thought to himself. He put his hand under her chin and raised her face up to look at him. The tears that were sliding down her cheeks caused his heart to ache. Something was hurting her and he was going to find out what.   
Jack pulled himself up into a setting position and pulled Sam over until she was in his lap. He pushed her hair from in front of her face and tucked it behind her ear, what little bit would stay there. He saw the look of fear shining out of her eyes and he was consumed with a need to find out what had frightened her and what he could do to stop it.  
“Hey, hey what’s this? What’s got you so frightened?” Jack whispered the words to her but he could see that she was afraid to talk about it. Like something was out there watching her and if she said anything about it, they were going to hurt her. He waited a few more minutes and then he questioned her again, this time with a little more authority.   
“Samantha, tell me what is going on. I know this isn’t about the NID or Senator Kinsey. You are scared to death – so scared you are trembling. This is a fear that has been there for a while. Tell me what it is.”   
Sam shook her head but his demand to know what frightened her was stronger than her resolve to keep her dark past hidden from him. Soon the tears were coming stronger than ever and he could tell that she would be hyperventilating if she did not calm down. “What the hell had caused this, or better yet – who the hell had caused this?” Jack thought to himself.   
“Samantha you have got to calm down. I am going to go get you a wet cloth and then we are going to talk. You do not need to hold your past in anymore – you have to tell me what has caused this or it will become a problem. It is obvious that we making love last night is what started this. Now I need to know what it is.”  
Jack started to move her so he could get up but Sam clung to him even tighter. Her sobs had calmed down some so he pulled her to him and rocked her like he would a baby.   
“Don’t leave me Jack, please. I don’t want to be alone right now.”  
“Tell me what is wrong, Samantha. Did something I do to you last night cause you to remember something that had hurt you in the past? Because if it did, I won’t do it again.  
“Oh God No, Jack No! It’s not you, never you! What you did to me and with me last night showed me how much a man can really love me. It showed me that not all men, trained the way you were, are hateful. You showed me how wrong I had been in the past when I thought I could do without you. What you made me experience caused me to love you even more. Never you, my love.”  
She looked at him and he could see she was fighting with herself about whether or not to tell him what was wrong. However, before she could think too long the words just seem to tumble out of her mouth. The days that Jonas would come home after leaving the base so reeved up from whatever they had done that day that he could not even control himself. He would pull her down wherever she was in the house and whether she was ready or not, he would take his pleasure from her and leave her lying there.   
Or the nights that he would get mad because she had worked at the astrophysics chemistry lab on the base all day and had not made it home to start supper in time to have it ready before he walked in the door. Those were the nights that she would call in sick the next morning because she would not want her friends asking questions about the marks on her face. She usually did not have that to worry about because Jonas always seemed to know not to leave marks where they could be seen.   
And then there were the nights that he would have the parties over at the house and his friends would come over. Those were the nights she hated the most. Those were the nights he would make her feel like a tramp or worse yet, a whore. Make her feel like she was nothing but his servant to wait on him and his friends hand and foot. And leave her whimpering in a corner when he had made her feel lower than a beaten puppy.   
Jack could feel the hate boiling up inside of him. No one deserved to be treated this way. Especially not someone who had done nothing to deserve it. If Hanson was not already dead, Jack knew he would kill him. He understood how a lot of people thought that because a man was trained in special forces/black ops than that excused him for what he did to other people. That the training beat all the good out of him. That was so far from the truth it made him sick.   
Oh, he knew that there were a lot of times when he had to portray a dark side and he had used that dark side to get out of tight situations in the past. But he also knew that the training he received was just that – training to save his life and his team – not to use to bend people to his will – especially women.  
There were cases, he would admit, when the soldier did not realize what he had done until it was too late and Jack could relate to that. Jack had seen so many men who would come back from tours and before they were home for a month, their wives were in the emergency room. Not because they purposely beat their wives but because sometime during the night they had screamed out in fear. Usually because of the torture they had gone through or what they had seen their buddies go through and their wives would reach over to console them and before they knew it they would jump the one they had sworn never to harm. All because their heads were still stuck in another place.   
Jack knew this for a fact because he had come close to jumping on Sam one night at his house when she had awakened him because his screams had awakened her. He remembered now the terrified look on her face as she scrounged in the corner, hands trying to cover every part of her body. But he had stopped himself in time. He had not known at the time that she was most likely remembering back to her time with Hanson. He could not stand the thought that he had made her think of him like that, too. He had never had to deal with that with Sara because for some reason it seemed he had slept lighter in Sara’s presence then he did in Sam’s.  
But then there were the ones like Hanson. The ones that had allowed the power behind them to possess them and dominate everything they touched. Women bowed in fear before them and was afraid to even let anyone know what the man they loved had done to them. He wanted to string every one of them up by the neck until they were dead but he knew he could not.   
Jack looked back down at Sam and saw that some of the fright had left her eyes and she was not shaking as bad. Just talking to him had eased some comfort into her. He rubbed her back and would not let her go until he knew for sure that she knew he was there for her – always – never to let another man hurt her or abuse her ever again.   
He kissed her forehead, and slowly kissed the trail of tears that covered her checks away, letting her know that the pain was his too now to bear and she would never have to face it alone. He continued down past her lips and to her throat. Sam leaned her head back and shivered as he nibbled on her skin, leaving traces of his love on her. He pushed her back down on the bed and pulled her to him as they lay spooned together, his hands exploring every part of her body.   
Jack was enjoying himself but suddenly he found his back flat against the bed with Sam straddling him. He was surprised at her strength though he should have known better. He knew how strong she was in the gym when they had practiced at take down maneuvers. Soon he found himself being treated to the same caresses that he had given her earlier and his body was quickly becoming in-tuned to them.  
Sam leaned down and brushed her lips across Jacks before continue down past his jaw to his throat and then to his neck. Not being impressed with his reaction she continued down to his chest, finding his nipples alert from the closeness of her naked body. She swiftly sucked one into her mouth and then released it, hearing a small pop. She felt him squirm under her and her excitement grew knowing that she was pleasing him. She continued her assault on the other nipple before she started down his chest, hands trailing along with her, rubbing his sides and feeling the quaking in his abdomen.   
Sam was in disbelief at how this man, who made others quake in their boots when they saw him approaching, was laying here on the bed allowing her to do this to him. Allowing her to turn him into a puddle. She continued down, letting her hands rub his legs and thighs and slowly going towards the main object of her desire. He was already fully erect, and she could not help but rub her hand across the length as it laid stiff on his stomach.   
She smiled an evil smile when she felt him jerk under her, as if she had commanded it to move for her benefit. She stroked him again, and Jack raised his hips off the bed and groaned her name. He thought he had been through it all, had experienced everything sex had to offer but for some reason, laying here letting the woman he desired more than anything in the world do this to him was almost more than he could handle. He was not a weak man and he could usually hold his own but if Samantha Carter kept this up he would not last that long at all.  
Sam felt his desire growing more and more and the heat inside of her was aching for release but she would not give in. She wanted to show him how much he meant to her. Before Jack knew what was happening, Sam had moved down until her face was over his erection and her lips were caressing it with the upmost care. He felt it jump under her ministrations and he closed his eyes trying his best to hold on. He wanted to enjoy this but he wanted to pleasure her also and if he came too soon, she would not be pleasured in the way he would want to.  
“Jack” Sam breathed out his name as she removed him from her mouth. “This is for you. You gave me so much last night, I want this. I need to do this for you. Please allow me this. Let me feel you flow down my throat. Let me find pleasure in pleasuring you.”  
Jack groaned again at her words and before he knew it, she had placed her mouth back over him and he could feel her hand and mouth working him over. He was not going to last and he felt the buildup growing more and more. And then she squeezed him as her teeth scraped the underside and that was all he knew.   
His head pushed back against the pillow and he growled out her name as he came. She continued to enjoy herself until she felt him start to grow hard again and then before she knew it, she was under him. She actually shivered when she saw the look on his face. The anticipation of what he had instore for her almost made her explode before he even entered her. The joy of what they had shared and what was to come made her smile. Life was finally coming together.  
QQQQQQQ  
I know, strange place to end but I had to give you something happy because the bumpy road is about to begin. Bare with me – my friends because the next few chapters are going to be hard.


	8. True Feelings

True Feelings

Sam had awaken and found the space on the bed behind her empty. She felt her heart plummet. She thought sure he would be there when she had awaken. She had not thought of him as the type of man to use a woman and then leave her alone. Had she been wrong?  
She pulled herself up and headed towards the bathroom to take a shower. She had to be at Area 51 at 0800 and looking at the clock on the bedside table, she knew she did not have a lot of time to get ready and eat breakfast.   
Sam felt the hot water as it ran down her back and she turned to face the spray. Knowing she was washing away all evidence of the night they had shared together made her sad. Yes, it hurt her that he had gone back to his own bed after they had finished but she wanted to savor the memories and the feel of his hands on her. Of him losing control with her. She felt the tears run down her face as they mixed with the shower. She had assumed that Jack O’Neill was a different type of man.  
She had been in the shower a while when she heard the bathroom door open. Then she heard his voice. Oh my Geez her body actually responded. How dare it betray her!  
“Sam, breakfast is ready when you get finished. I ran out and got something. Was kinda hoping you would still be asleep when I got back.” She could hear the disappointment in his voice. So…. he hadn’t left after she had fallen asleep. He had been there with her all night.  
Before Jack knew what hit him, a slippery wet body was being thrown at him. Sam was overjoyed with the realization that her Jack had not disappointed her. She was holding him so tight that it did not take long before his clothes were wet completely.  
“Whoa, what’s going on?” Jack pushed her back a little and looked at her. He could tell even with the water from the shower making her eyes red, that she had been crying. What had caused this? “Hey, you ok?”  
Sam said nothing but pulled herself closer to him and brought his lips down to meet hers. Jack was not quite sure what was going on but soon he felt his body giving in to the passionate kiss that she was giving him. He felt her tongue sweep across his lips and he opened his mouth a little but it was enough for her tongue to slide inside. Soon they were having a battle for control. He did not know what had caused her panic, but for some reason she needed to have assurance that he was with her. That he had never left.  
Jack finished the kiss and reluctantly pulled away. He knew if he did not stop where this was heading; there would be no going to Area 51 today. He did not mind that, but he knew that Sam wanted to go. He still did not feel right about all of this but he was with her. He would make sure nothing happened to her.  
“Ok so you want to tell me what that was all about? I mean, I don’t mind a good morning kiss, but that was more than just a good morning kiss – there was a feeling of abandonment in there.” Jack, tilting her head up was able to look her in the eyes. Sam knew there was no getting away from it; she was going to have to tell him what she had thought when she had first awaken. She saw the look in his eyes when she had finished. At first, it was unbelief that she would think him that type of person – then it was something else. Something that he did not quite cover up before she saw it flash in his eyes. Anger, but not at her. Anger that she had been treated like that so much in the past that she would think that he would do it to her also.   
“Sam, you need to understand something about me, about us. I have desired you since the first day I saw you. It is true that at that moment I may not have loved you but that soon followed. When I stood and looked at you stuck behind that force field, I thought my life had ended. I thought that fate had made me a fool again. That I had allowed myself to fall in love just to lose it. Then after the time we spent together last night, the love we shared last night….”  
Jack looked at Sam in heated passion and once again, his eyes held another look, this time of love and domination. “Samantha, I do not give my love out freely to just anyone. I have given you my love and you returned yours to me. There is no going back now. You are mine. Now and forever. No matter what may try to pull us apart – there is no separating us. When I take you to my bed or when I go to yours, I will be there when you wake in the morning.”   
He pulled her to him and kissed her – his lips on her feeling as if he were branding her as his own as they moved over to her ear. “Remember what I have told you before – always, Samantha, always.” His breath whispered to her. Before he turned, he popped her on her backside, grinning as he walked out of the bathroom. Sam stood shivering but not from the wetness that covered her from the shower. It was from the simple statement that he had whispered in her ear. Sam knew he meant every word of it and as far as she was concerned, it was her declaration of love to him.  
Sam finished getting dressed and then walked out to the sitting area. Jack had a cup of hot coffee sitting on the table along with toast, yogurt and fruit for her. He was already sitting down on the couch with his cup of coffee, toast and a giant bowl of fruit loops. She picked up her coffee and sat down beside him. As she reached over to pick up her toast, she felt him move closer to the spot where she was. Never before had she liked being smothered but there was just something about being that close to him, it felt as if she was adjoined to him and she loved it. It also made her realize that what he had declared in the bathroom was already beginning – there was no separating them now.  
They watched a little television while they ate in silence, both of their minds going in different directions. Jack was dreading what he was about to do and Sam divided – a little trepidation mixed with excitement. Jack did not want to leave her at Area 51 by herself but he knew he had no choice. He also knew that if anyone saw him there, it would prove worse for Sam. He had to make this play out right. He would leave her in the care of the Home Land Security officers and then make it back to the hotel. And he would wait for her to call him to come after her. Oh and he would call her on and off during the day, he was willing to inform any of the fools of that. He was not going all day without talking to her.  
They finished eating, and brushed their teeth. While Sam grabbed her jacket – Jack grabbed her backpack and they headed out the door. Going through the lobby and the basement garage, Sam noticed that Jack stayed on high alert. His eyes never stopped moving, looking for danger in any form. She knew he did not like her going through with this and he thought that she would have changed her mind after seeing whom she saw on the plane. However, it was no longer up to her and she knew he knew that.   
The President and joint chiefs were calling the shots and no matter how much proof Jack may show them, they still were not convinced that this was anything besides a scientific evaluation on some piece of ancient technology. Besides, they had no hard evidence yet that Senator Kinsey was still involved with the nasty dealings of the rogue NID or that he ever had been.  
When all that mess had taken place where Senator Kinsey had been shot and the blame had been put on Jack, the rogue NID had ended up looking like the only guilty party and Senator Kinsey had walked away smelling like a rose. Sam knew that Jack wanted more than anything to prove that the Senator was as guilty as they come, but she also knew that he would have to do it while hiding under cover.   
However, that was in the past and all she and Jack could worry about now was to get this research project taken care of and get back to the SGC. Hopefully straightening everything out with the Colonel so SG1 could go back to being a team again. They reached the truck that Jack had rented and she watched him as he checked it thoroughly for anything that may have been planted on it that could possible cause them to have an accident. As he threw her stuff into the backseat, he waited until she had climbed in before closing the two doors. Just before her door closed, she felt his hand squeeze her hand. It was as if he was telling her that no matter what, he was there and everything was going to be all right. She smiled at him, trying to assure him that she was ok. That they were going to be ok. He let go, walked around the truck and slid into the driver’s seat. A few minutes later, they were on the highway heading for Area 51, both in deep thought.  
QQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQ  
Sam worked quietly in the corner of the lab, pretty much by herself. She did not mind, she liked working alone when it came to studying something of ancient design. She could not help wishing that she had Daniel and Jack here with her. Daniel for his expertize of other languages and Jack because with his ancient gene – he may have been able to trigger something on the artifact.   
Thinking of Jack made her smile. He had called her four times already and it was just a little past 1400. He had said he would call one more time and then he would see her when they met back at the hotel. They had decided that since he was not really supposed to be in the area after dropping her off – according to everyone of Area 51- that it would be best if Home Land Security took her back to the hotel this afternoon. Jack did not like that idea at all but he knew it would keep his presence unknown a little longer and he needed to do that for as long as possible.  
Pushing some buttons and dials on the front of the artifact, Sam watched her laptop analyze the measurements that each touch made. She still could not figure out what exactly this object did, but it was definitely putting out energy and a lot of it. She sat back and rubbed her hands against the tops of her legs. God, how she wished Daniel was with her. She thought about calling the General and see if maybe she could get him to okay Daniel coming here. That way she would not only have help with the artifact, but maybe that would help Jack knowing that Daniel was here with her every day. She would check with Jack first but she thought he would go along with it. The less danger she put Jack in with him being here – the less stress she would be.   
So intense on the object in front of her, Sam actually jumped when she heard her phone ring. Looking to see who it was, she noticed that the time had gone by and it was already time to pack it all up.   
“Hi” He said when he heard her answer. “I am sitting here waiting for you. Supper is prepared and time is wasting. I don’t want to waste any more time so you need to get your six here right away, Major and that is an order!”  
She could actually see the cocky smile on Jack’s face as he said this to her but it did nothing to cool the fever that raced through her body knowing he was waiting for her. She almost dropped her laptop trying to get it in the backpack she carried it in.   
“Yes, Sir! Colonel I am on my way – should reach you in 30. Oh and in case I missed something, yes, sir I am still under your command.” Sam grinned when she heard Jack groan before hanging up his cell phone. She literally raced to get to the security vehicle that would take back to the hotel. The driver and Home Land officer watched her as she tapped her foot in the back seat as different red lights caught them, and soon Sam was wondering if she was ever going to make it to Jack.  
QQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQ  
“Reynolds here” The Colonel answered, fully alert. The number calling his was not one he recognized but with the way things on the base were so screwed up right now – he figured he might better be ready for anything.  
Ferretti heard the voice on the other end of the phone and let go of the breath he had not even realized he had been holding. He had not known whom else to call when he had found out that General Hammond had been summoned to Washington for an emergency meeting. All he knew was that he had to alert someone to what was taken place here at Groom’s Lake. He knew that if the guys at the SGC had kept up with the timetable then they knew he was long overdue. He should have been back on the base by 1800 hours the day before.  
“Sir we have a really huge problem and I need some serious help here in Nevada.” There was no other way to say what needed to be said. Ferretti knew that Reynolds was up there with O’Neill when it came to reading between the lines. Because the General had been summoned to Washington and O’Neill was supposed to be on the run, then that left Reynolds as second in command on the base. Since he knew that Ferretti had been ordered to take Carter to Area 51, and Ferretti was late reporting back in – then the Colonel already knew who was in trouble and the wheels in his head were already spinning to find a way to fix the situation.   
Reynolds listen while Ferretti told him what had happened on the tarmac before he and Jack had gotten on the plane to go to Groom’s Lake. Ferretti heard Reynolds groan and knew he knew then that O’Neil had been with him and Carter since they left Colorado. Ferretti told him about O’Neill recognizing one of the guys as a rogue NID operative. He explained that O’Neill had gotten Captain Mathews to meet them at the plane so he could pose as one of the pilots along with Jack. He then told Reynolds about waking up with a really bad headache that morning and realizing that Mathews was up to no good.  
“Wait, Mathews! No way is he in with the NID! Mathews, O’Neill, Kawalsky and I went through too many damn missions together. Are you sure it was him?”  
“Well yeah I have the bump on my head to prove it was. He had split and I am concerned about where this is leading. He knows O’Neill was running and he knows O’Neill is planning on staying here with Major Carter so everything else aside, where the hell do we go from here?”  
“You stay put. Try to get an angle on where O’Neill and Carter are staying and get to them. I am getting my team and some others together and we will be there as soon as we can. Also, see if you can get to Agent Barrett’s office. He is one of the descent NID officers. He can help.”  
“Yes, Sir” Ferretti answered back to Reynolds.  
“We are on the way but you know I can do nothing until I get an okay from the higher ups and with General Hammond in Washington, it may be tomorrow before we get there. And Ferretti, please keep your head up – we’ve lost too many already. We don’t need to loose anymore. And tell O’Neill to keep his head clear…….never mind. ” Reynolds said the last words but knew he was wasting his breath. When it came to Carter – O’Neill had no control over his actions.  
By the time Reynolds had closed his phone, he was on his way to the control room to organize a search and rescue. It still boggled his mind about Mathews. O’Neill had saved Mathews six too many times. How much did they pay him to turn against his friends? The thought made Reynolds feel like he had bile in his throat. The fact that O’Neill had actually been captured in Saudi Arabia while ensuring Mathews rescue really pissed him off. If he got his hands on that slimy rat before O’Neill did, there would not be a piece of him left for anyone to get DNA.   
QQQQQQQQQQQ  
The night breeze blows softly on the skin he had just finished caressing and he saw her shiver. Even though they had spent most of the early evening and night together - he knew she still anticipated what he had in store and the thought consumed him that she was so willing to allow him to have complete control over her - over her body, her mind and her entire being. The very thought made his heart race and caused unexpected reactions that he never thought could be possible.  
Jack kissed her again and this time he felt her stir beneath him. The last climax had racked her so hard that she had actually given in and passed out. The things he had done to her, no wonder she had lost all control of her body but he could not help but smile. She was so beautiful when she surrendered completely to him. Jack’s hands begin to caress her again and he felt Sam wiggle as if trying to move away from him. He moved his hand from behind her hand to lay on top of her stomach. And she shivered knowing that he was not finished.  
Sam was not sure if Jack had climaxed when she did the last time or not. Her mind still felt as if it was in a fog, a beautiful fog, but a fog nonetheless. All she knew was that if he kept going as if he was, then she would be no good come tomorrow. Her body already felt as if it was nothing but liquid and she did not know how much more she could take. However, getting away from him was taking too much strength and besides to tell the truth she loved the thought of where this was going. She could not believe that even though they had already spent a night together, he still made her feel as if this was the first time he was touching her.  
She wanted to run from him because of how high-strung her body was but then she wanted to lay there and let him do whatever he wanted to her because that was what she really needed. God was it possible to die from pleasure because she felt one more time with him and she would leave this earth for good.  
Jack saw that she was fully aware again and so he started once again doing what he had been doing when she lost it earlier. He begin again kissing her on her stomach, licking her belly button and trailing down to the apex of her desire. Or was it his desire now? All he knew was that she was his, no one else. The Air Force could go straight to Hades for all he cared. Samantha Grace Carter was his now and that would be for all eternity. Jack blow on her center and watched her body tense as he begin again to torture her with pleasure. Yes, this night was going to be a good night and tomorrow – if she could walk than Samantha could go back to Area 51. Jack was hoping by the time he got through tonight – that would not be a worry he would have to deal with. If he had his way, Samantha would be staying in bed with him all day long tomorrow.   
QQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQ  
“So the plan is a go for tomorrow?” The question was asked and the man on the receiving end grunted in reply. He was tired of Jack O’Neill and if getting rid of Samantha Carter insured he got rid of Jonathon O’Neill; then she would just have to be a casualty of war. Because this was war as far as he was concerned.  
He knew if he got rid of the persona of the flagship crew and who commanded it, then the SGC would soon follow. Once he had closed down the mountain – then the Star Gate would be his and he would be in complete control. He could take whatever he wanted to take from whomever he wanted, could destroy whomever he wanted and the earth would bow to him. Finally, he saw the future he should have had a long time ago. He was the only one that could rule this world the way it needed to be ruled.   
His face held an evil smile as he thought of the pain he would inflict on Jack O’Neill just by having it inflicted on Sam Carter. Oh, he would not touch them. No way would he dirty his hands on them but he had enough people following him that the deed would be done and done perfectly. His people would not fail him for they knew what he had the power to do to them.  
“Yes, finish it tomorrow. I do not ever want to hear either of their names after tomorrow. Is that understood?” He did not wait for the person on the other end to answer him. He did not need to waste his time waiting on an answer. The puppet knew that he was too lowly for him to spend too much time talking to him.   
Mathews hung up his phone but continued to stare at it. No regrets he told himself, no regrets. What was done was done. He just did not know that Major Carter had been the trap the whole time to get to O’Neill but it did not really matter. As long as he never had to face O’Neill again or have to hear about what he did to save the world, then he would be content to do whatever needed to be done to get rid of him.   
Besides, no one knew he was in the middle of it. He had kept his cover pretty clean. The only one he had laid hands on was Ferretti and he was lying dead in an alley somewhere for the rats to chew on. He could still hold his face up and walk in the right circles and after O’Neill was gone, he was sure his feet would finally reach the top of the ladder. He turned to get into the passenger side of the car that was sitting there waiting for him. He was so close to the end of this and he sure did not want to mess up now.   
He knew that O’Neill and Carter were back at the hotel room. They had stayed in from the time the security officers from Home Land had dropped her off this afternoon. He did not even want to think what they were doing up there. They could lie to everyone else all they wanted to – they had been lovers since the day they had first laid eyes on each other. All you had to do was look at the way they watched each other and you knew.   
He thought back to the day he had first seen Sam Carter. It was in Washington. O’Neill and she were summoned to meet with the President to receive their first of many medals for supposedly saving the world. He had tried to strike up a conversation. Then he noticed that the nod of her head while listening to him had nothing to do with the position of her eyes. She watched O’Neill like a hawk the whole time he was in the room with them.  
Even when O’Neill had left to meet with the reporter that the Senator had already known was going to question O’Neill, she still was not paying attention to him. She actually showed impatience waiting on O’Neill to return. That is until her father swept her away to talk to her about some private mater. Moreover, when Armin Seleg was “unfortunately” killed outside the capitol – Mathews thought sure it would come back to bite O’Neill. Nevertheless, as he always did, O’Neill came out looking like a victim.  
That’s ok – he could wait for oh nine more hours and then the sourness of O’Neill would just be a memory!


	9. Nightmares!

Nightmares

General Hammond sat in the hotel room in Washington to await the President’s call. He had been there for over a day and it finally dawned on him that something was amiss. He had tried several attempts to get ahold of someone that could tell him something, anything but nothing was happening. So he called the only person he knew that might be able to tell him something. Finally getting ahold of General Maynard, General Hammond found out that the President had not called for him. Nothing at all was going wrong with the meeting between Daniel, Davis and the Joint Chief’s – as a matter of fact they were making great progress and Daniel would be coming home that afternoon.   
Then an ugly thought crossed General Hammond’s mind. What if Jack had been more accurate then he thought he had. What if all of this tied into Area 51. After all, Vice President Kinsey could pretty much do anything he wanted now. The presidency had ended just 6 hours ago, and no one except for a select few knew why the president before Hayes had stepped down.   
Some believed that Kinsey and the business partners that had worked with the rogue NID had something to do with it. All Hammond knew was that he was gone and Henry Hayes, General Hammond’s friend was now the President. Senator Kinsey now the vice President. And he was making a beeline straight to the president’s chair. Although Hammond knew that Hayes stood in his way for that position. And yet Hammond also knew how fast that could change.   
General Hammond picked up the phone and contacted the SGC. He needed to see if they had heard anything concerning Jack and Sam. Colonel Reynolds filled him in on what he knew. When Reynolds told the General that he had been trying to get ahold of him since the night before, the General looked as if he was ready for war. Someone was playing in his backyard and they had not been invited!  
General Hammond did not take kindly to that. He told Reynolds to take his team and head out to Nevada, leaving Colonel Dixon to handle things at the SGC. He also told him to make sure he got in touch with Chulak and tell them to send Teal’c back as soon as he got the message, because as he explained to Reynolds, Reynolds and Ferretti would need Teal’c when they finally found O’Neill. Colonel Reynolds knew why General Hammond had said that and he was correct – Teal’c would be the only one to hold O’Neill back from killing someone. He just hoped they did not need to hold Teal’c back because that would be virtually impossible.  
He then alerted Daniel and Davis and told them to take a plane to Nevada, he on the other hand was still going to go see the President and he knew he had a better chance of seeing Hayes then he would have ever had seeing the last President. General Hammond would never let another soul know this but he was glad when Vice President Hayes took over the Presidency due to some strange condescendence that no one seemed to speak of. The man knew how to handle things the right way whereas the one who had been in office seemed to be a puppet on a string when it came to people like Senator Kinsey, now Vice President Kinsey, and Lieutenant Colonel Samuels.   
Within six hours all of the men were where they needed to be at and every one of them knew they had not made it in time.  
QQQQQQQQQ  
Jack hit the wall in the hotel room again, and again his fist went through it. Reynolds shook his head. Whatever card Jack had used to pay for these two rooms was definitely going to be hit hard, that’s for sure. There was broken furniture, busted mirrors, and holes in all the walls. But he also understood. He was a married man – had been married for going on 15 years now and if someone took his Mary from him, God help them. He would hunt them down and literally cut them to pieces, not leaving a scrap of them around large enough for anyone to do any forensics on.   
Reynolds also knew that no matter how Jack acted towards Major Carter at the SGC, every married man on the base knew that he was in love with Sam Carter. Not just any love. Not just a “one hop in your bed” kind of love. He was so in love with Samantha Carter that he would attempt to stop the world from spinning to save her. And truth be told, Reynolds knew that Carter felt the same way about Jack.  
Although Reynolds had to admit, he and Ferretti were not in much better moods either. By the time General Hammond had finally gotten ahold of them, they were all pretty pissed off. Ferretti did not know who had been played like the fool most - him, O’Neill or the General. Reynolds watched Jack and knew the minute he started blaming himself. Damn! He was so hoping Jack would not do this. Everybody knew who was to blame for this whole mess.   
Then again, Reynolds had been told by Ferretti when he met him at the hotel room that Jack had been with Carter since the plane had taken off in Colorado. If that was the true, then Reynolds knew that just like he would have done had Mary been here, Jack had slipped up. He would never say anything out loud, but he knew that that was exactly what Jack was thinking.  
Jack closed his eyes and reopened them, praying to that God he used to believe that he was only having a nightmare. But he knew that instead of dreaming one – he was actually living one. Major Samantha Carter was missing. His Samantha was missing! He had not been able to stop it.  
He had known from the beginning that this was what would happen the minute she went to Area 51. The minute she made contact with that no good rat bastard Kinsey. He knew too that the NID was right in the middle of it. He had already promised to whomever would listen that when he got his hands on the person responsible, and he already knew it was Kinsey, he would kill him! It had been bad enough with the man just being a Senator for him to screw with Jack’s and Carter’s life and he would never be touched. But now he was Vice President. He had all the protection he needed. But Jack did not care. He meant every word of it. He would kill him. This time it would not be just a campaign joke.  
Carter had been taken. Jack just could not believe how it happened. It still blew his mind. It had been so easy. That is what pissed him off so much. It was not so well done that he should not have seen it coming. That pissed him off too. The very reason why he had not seen it coming. It was because he had allowed himself to become more emotionally attached then he should have. If he had kept his mind straight, his heart locked up and his pants zipped, he would have seen it coming, no matter how slick they had been.  
Jack was Carter’s CO. Not her boyfriend. Not her husband and damn sure not her lover! What the heck had possessed him to allow his priorities to drop. Even if he had run from Cheyanne Mountain, he was still a Colonel in the United States Air Force until such time as someone seen fit to take that away from him. He should have treated this just like any other mission and stayed the hell away from her and her hotel room.   
He knew the whole time he was in her hotel room that he was in the wrong. Each time he crawled into bed with her, he knew it was wrong. Oh not wrong by a long shot when it came to how he felt about her. No that was all really there. But it WAS wrong because he was still in the Air Force and he WAS still her commanding officer.   
When he had told her at the airport that they would be in different rooms – he should have stuck by that. Jack knew he should have never looked into her face, into her eyes. To look into Samantha Carter’s eyes to him was like looking into her soul. She did not bare it so easily for everyone else but for him, it just came open. Better yet, he should never have opened his mouth on that damn plane.   
That is where the trouble began. If he had left his ass in the cockpit and kept his mouth shut. If he had let Ferretti do his job, she would have never have known he was there. He could have watched her from the plane be taken to her hotel and then he could have gone to his. Even if he did book his room in the same hotel, Carter would have never thought to check for his name there. She would have assumed that he stayed in Colorado at his ranch or had gone to Minnesota to his cabin. Even if she had looked, she would not have seen his name because even Carter did not know all of his aliases and he would have been using one. Heck he was using one now and what good had it done him. Jack had played right into their hands.  
The knock on the door startled Jack and he got to it in 2 long strides, even kicking parts of the furniture out of his way. He jerked the door open but before he could say the name that was on his lips, Teal’c looked at him and Jack knew. They had lost her. That is when the last remaining whole mirror in the room lost its fight. Jack did not even make a face when his knuckles started bleeding from the cuts he had sustained on them again. He had hoped against all hope that she may still be somewhere in the vicinity and had sent Teal’c and Daniel out to go look. Since Daniel was a regular at Area 51, he figured Daniel would be able to get inside and see what anyone might know.   
But he had already known that answer. When Carter had not answered her phone by the third time he had called nor had she called him back, he had stormed Area 51. He had already called Home Land Security and they claimed everything was still ok because neither of their men had reported anything different. The idiots did not realize that of course they had not reported anything, they were missing also. Most likely dead!  
Davis and Ferretti was the ones to find out that answer. They had found the security vehicle not too long after they had arrived at the hotel. They had begun their search down the same alley that Ferretti had been left unconscious in. And sure enough, for them to try to be so smart, whomever was behind this did not really use their common sense. Anyone passing by should have been able to see the vehicle. If they had taken the time to look closely, they would have seen the two small caliber bullet holes in the windshield. One for the driver and one for the passenger. The two men looked at the car in unbelief, what kind of bullets were able to shatter bullet-proof glass? Then without even having to communicate with each other, they knew. It was the same thing the arrow was made out of that shot through the bullet proof glass at the SGC and had connected with Colonel O’Neill’s arm. Titanium!  
With abated breath, Ferretti and Davis looked closely at the back glass of the vehicle. No bullet holes but was that really a good thing. One of the passenger doors looked as if it had been rammed and it took both of them to open the other one. They noticed looking at the back seat closely that there was blood and glass on it. Ferretti looked at Davis and just shook his head. Who really wanted to go back and tell Colonel O’Neill that Major Carter was not here, that she had never made it to Area 51 that morning. And he sure wasn’t going to let it slip that she most likely was the one that had lost the blood in the back seat.  
When they had returned to the hotel room and met up with Reynolds and O’Neill, they all knew that the chances of finding Major Carter still in the city after this long of a time was highly unlikely. They were going to have to start searching elsewhere and bring in more resources. Daniel had contacted General Hammond and he was already trying to get in touch with anyone who may be able to assist. With Major Carter knowing what all she knew and the programs that she oversaw, General Hammond knew he could call on some markers – he just did not know now what of those markers was still on his side.  
QQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQ   
Sam woke up and again she felt the searing hot pain coursing through her body. She was not quite sure how many times she had awaken but each time she only lasted a few minutes before the pain overcame her and she would pass out again. Passing out did no good because the emotional pain seemed just as real in her dreams as the physical pain did when she was awake.  
She would see the staff weapon and hear it as it clicked on to fire and she would hear the Colonel’s command for them to take cover but it was always too late. She would see the hole blasted through Teal’c first and then Daniel, both falling to the ground, dead before they hit it. Their sightless eyes still open and seeming to look straight at her as if begging her to stop the blackness from claiming them forever.   
She would hear the Colonel grunt with the first blast that hit him right in the knee and he would fall down, trying to grab her at the same time. Always looking out for his team but this time it did no good. She watched in horror as the next blast from the staff weapon caught him in his back and he screamed in pain, saying a few words that she hardly ever heard the Colonel utter. Then she felt her heart crack as she watched the final blast hit him in the head and he was gone before she could even whisper his name.  
Then she would jerk awake, her body completely covered in sweat and tears and she would realize it was a nightmare. A different nightmare this time but with the same results, someone she loved dying before her eyes. She would try to stay awake but it was always the same. The probe above her would descend, clamping onto her head. Then as if it were digging for something, the beam inside the probe would shoot a burst of energy straight into her skull and the pain would be so intense that her whole body felt as if it were being torn limb from limb and her skull felt as if someone was cracking it open with a jack hammer. She would scream, begging at whomever was causing the pain to stop. She would end up passing out still feeling the searing pain.  
And she would dream again. This time it was her mother, Mark and her father. They were in a cab coming back from the airport. Wait, this was not right. Her mother had been by herself when the cab had been hit by the drunk driver and killed her. But that was not what she was seeing. The other car slammed into theirs and she watched in horror as the cab caught on fire and she could do nothing to help her family that was still inside of it while she stood on the outside. She heard their screams, could almost smell their burning flesh and soon she knew she was screaming too.   
Then it would all start again, the probing, the pain, the passing out, the dreams. Sam also knew that she was staying out a lot more than she was staying awake. The dreams were beginning to make sense but they were still screwed up. The missions were missions that SG1 had gone on, the allies were people they had met but then something would change in them. Something would happen to make her want to wake up. It was almost as if when the dream became a nightmare, it was a defense mechanism. Acting as if her mind did notwant the rest of the dream to be shown.   
And this nightmare was no different. She watched as Apophis stood in front of Jack with the staff weapon. The force field already activated. And she saw Apophis shoot the staff weapon straight at O’Neill. She saw O’Neill fall to the ground, the hole in his back with smoke coming out of it. But in her dream she was not the second one to fall. In her dream it was Daniel that was killed next, his body laying limp over a rock, then Teal’c was next. In real life however, when it actually had happened she had died right behind the Colonel. All three of them had died, leaving Teal’c the only member of SG1 still alive. But then they had been healed. And that is when the pain would begin in her dreams. It was as if her mind was telling her not to remember that part. To keep that part a secret. So she would fight to awaken, knowing that when she did she would be subjected to more pain with the probe.   
She could feel the tears running down her checks. The pain was so intense. How much more could she endure before she would be begging whomever it was to just take her life. Then she would think of Colonel Jonathon O’Neill. Her Jack and she would remember that he had told her she would always be safe. That he would protect her. And with his face in her mind, she would pass out.  
Sam was not sure how long she stayed out the last time she passed out, but when she finally struggled awake, it seemed her head was a little clearer. The nightmare also had not lasted as long and knowing that it was not too far off from the truth, the pain was still there but not as strong as it had been the five or six times she had seen the Colonel die. She looked around the room she was laying in and caught her breath.   
The room was solid white. It made her think of the room Daniel had been in when they thought he had schizophrenia, thanks to that nut case Ma’chello. But it also looked like a hospital room, one that she had been held captive in once before.   
Sam went to lift up her arms and realized that they would not move. She could feel and see that they were not tied down but they just would not move. As a matter of a fact, nothing on her body would move besides her head. Then she saw the I.V. pole beside her and saw the tube running down from it into her arm. Whomever had her was giving her drugs and from the way her body felt, Sam knew that one of them had been a paralyzing injection. The other tube had been clamped off but looking at the liquid in the bag, Sam would have shivered if her body would have allowed her to do so.  
QQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQ  
Jack watched everything going on around him. He knew that Reynolds had decided that it was time to widen the search. They would not be bringing in a lot of people because they wanted to try to keep the assholes from knowing that they were coming after them. Oh and they would be coming after them, there was no doubt at all in Jacks mind about that. He would find where she was and who had taken her and God help them when he did.  
The room was becoming too full so Jack had moved out onto the patio, rubbing his hands through his hair. He did not do well waiting. It was something that just did not fit in his vocabulary at all. That and patience was something everyone knew Jack were not keen on. He needed to get out. He had to get some air. He had not been back outside since he had returned to the hotel midmorning. He was so hoping that she would show up and tell him that her phone had messed up. Or that there had been an accident and that was why she had never made it to Area 51 that morning. Then Reynolds and Ferretti had showed up and told Jack about Mathews. And Jack knew then that there was no accident and her phone was probably still working fine.  
Now that Barrett had showed up he really needed to get out of the room. Jack had watched Barrett the times he had come to the SGC and he had seen the way Barrett had watched Carter. Jack did not like that, not one bit. But he really could not say anything. He and Carter had nothing between them but commanding officer and subordinate. At least that was what everyone should have been thinking. And for the most part, Jack assumed they did. But he and Carter had known for a long time that there was more than just working closeness between them but because of the regulations and SOP they couldn’t react on it. “Well, I guess all that’s all been blown to hell now” Jack thought to himself, thinking about the times him and Samantha had laid in each other’s arms within the last two days.  
He walked back into Samantha’s room where everyone was gathered. He made a sour look because it was Samantha’s room, and he hated the feeling that welled up inside his stomach. Knowing of the time that they had spent there. He scrubbed his hands over his face and jerked his jacket off of the chair by the door. He knew the minute that Teal’c and Daniel saw him do it that he would not be going outside alone. He was actually surprised that Reynolds and Ferretti did not ignore the look he gave them and continue out the door with the other three men. But he wanted someone he trusted with his life, let alone Carter’s, to stay in that room just in case “…..well just in case”, he thought.  
Jack noticed when they exited the elevator into the underground garage, that Daniel had not said a word to him during the entire ride. Which was mighty unusual for Space-Monkey. When something was wrong with someone or they were going through something, Daniel believed it made it so much easier to talk to someone about it. And Daniel always seemed to nominate himself for that position, of course. But Daniel had been strangely quiet concerning this whole affair. It actually made Jack start to worry about him. And even knowing that Daniel was not military he did the same thing to him that he had done to Carter when they were stuck in Antarctica. Looking over at him, Jack waited until he had Daniel’s eyes completely on him.  
“We will get her back, Daniel. I don’t leave a man behind and you should know that by now. We will get Carter back. You have to believe that” Jack said the words and he knew Teal’c was watching him say them. He also knew that Teal’c was telling Jack to believe in what he just told Daniel. And he did, he had to. Because he could not live if he did not have Carter. If he lost his Samantha, then his life was over.   
He knew how he had felt when Charlie had died and if it had not been for Daniel and Ska’ar, he would have ended it on Abydos. But he was given another chance, another start when Carter came into his life. Oh he and Sara had been together for a while after Charlie had died. But she had told him when he had seen her last March at Charlie’s grave, that she had known for a long time that Charlie had been the only thing that kept her and Jack together.  
He had been too closed up to her. He did not want to dirty her with what all he had been commissioned to do in the line of duty. It had been some pretty distasteful things, as he had told General Hammond one day.   
But Sam was different. She already knew what he had had to do in the line of duty. Oh not all of it – no one would ever know all of it. But she had a bigger picture than Sara did. That made things so much different.   
Shaking his head to clear his thoughts, Jack waited for Daniel to make a comment on what he had just said. Maybe that was why his reaction was slower than it should have been.   
“O’Neill” He heard Teal’c shout out his name.   
He turned just in time to see Mathews and he pushed Daniel down, knowing that by saving Daniel’s life he had just doomed his.   
He felt the high velocity bullet as it ripped through his chest. Then he heard the rifle as it hit the concrete and he saw Teal’c take off after Mathews. He felt himself falling and knew that it had not been a good place where he had taken the bullet. He saw Daniel’s face begin to swim in front of his eyes and then his eyes begin to close.   
He heard Daniel’s voice literally pleaded with him not to die. But he could not do anything about it. No matter how hard he tried, he could not make his eyes open or his body move. His last thought before darkness grabbed him was of his Samantha, praying to the one true God that his baby was ok. That his Heart was alive. That she was not feeling the pain that he was feeling at this moment. Then he began to feel the coldness.


	10. Fighting for Freedom, Life & Love

Fighting for freedom, life & love

With realization dawning on her, Sam had to admit that the fear in the pit of her stomach seemed to grow even larger at what she saw in the I.V. bag. The liquid in the bag was strong enough to make men like the Colonel beg for mercy and be tempted to commit suicide if subjected to it for a long period of time. That was why she was having nightmares. Somehow whoever had her had gotten a hold of something very powerful. Something that the SGC and the NID was supposed to have under lock and key and no one without the right clearance should be able to get their hands on it. The fluid in the I.V. bag was known to SG1 as Sokar’s blood.  
Sam had been subjected to the poison when they had to rescue her father and Selmak from Netu when Apophis had used it to try and gain information. The things the drink made her revisit in her memories always started off the same but then became twisted in the middle of the nightmare. The torture had not lasted that long because they had escaped but if they had not, would she have given in?  
Had she given in this time? Is that why had they stopped it? Had they gained what they needed with the mind probe they had been using on her? Daniel had told her about the mind probe that Nem had used on him. When Nem had convinced her, Teal’c and Jack that Daniel had died on the planet only he had kept and used the mind probe on him to try to help him remember what had happened to Omoroka, Nem’s wife. Was it the same mind probe they used on her? If it was it could very well be possible that between the blood of Sokar and the mind probe they could gain all the information they would have needed. All the information that she knew about the SGC and their allies. It would be scary if it fell into the wrong hands. Sam prayed that she had not let anything slip out but she just did not believe they would have stopped torturing her if she had not. At least she assumed they were through. Were they not?  
That was Sam’s thought when she heard a door open over to the left side of the room. She could move her head to look to see who had come in but she could not move anything else or defend herself and she did not like that feeling at all.  
She felt the unbelief begin when she could feel the naquadah. When she saw who had walked in the door, she prayed that somehow – just maybe she was still having a nightmare – this one just a little more real. But she knew she was not. She also knew that the man she had seen walk into the room was very real. What the heck was a Goa’uld doing on earth? Especially this one. The last thing she needed was to see him. Knowing he was here meant that what she had locked up in her brain was why she was in the nightmare in the first place.  
That is when it all became clear to Sam. It was the information in her memories that they were digging for. She was here because she knew things about their allies. Allies like the Nox and their ability to heal, even when someone was completely dead. She also had Jolinar’s memories since she had been taken over by a Tok’ra and now they wanted whatever information they could get from her concerning her dad and his new family. Even more frightening was all the codes and locks that she had installed into the computer software at the SGC. Had she given away this information? Information that not only could prove harmful to Earths allies but could cause death to her friends and family right here on Earth.  
“Well, look who we have here.” The voice had that same deep gravel sound that all the Goa’uld had when they spoke but Carter did not turn her head. Screw them, if they wanted something from her they would have to kill her for it. Because something in Carter assured her that she had not given anything away. She had been trained too well in hostile situations to believe otherwise.   
Ba’al actually smiled when he saw that Carter was trying to put up a fight. But surely these Tauri should know by now that they were no match for the gods! He grabbed her chin and turned her to face him. She tried to move her head but he held tightly to her.  
“You think you are powerful enough to hide from me what I seek to know? I will find out all and have fun with you in the process. Look around, no one is coming to save you. Did you think your precious O’Neill would come? Even if he was to come, he would be too stuck in his own memories of what I did to him to help you. And remember – you are the reason I was able to have the fun with him that I had. You are after all the one that suggested he take a symbiote. Oh, and let’s not forget how easy it was to torture him to death numerous times because of his obsession for you.”  
Sam could not help but cringe when Ba’al said those last words. Jack had never told her when he had talked about Ba’al capturing him and torturing him, that he had spent time in the sarcophagus because he had died. She had already confessed to Jack about feeling blame about being the one that had talked him into taking the symbiote but to know he was tortured because of her. That left Sam feeling worse then what she already was.   
Ba’al paused between his next words as he rubbed his palm across her face. He would never tell the other system lords, but there was just something so soft about the skin of most Tauri women and Carter was no different. He had noticed her actions and her face when he had mentioned using her as the means to torture O’Neill. So using his death as a means to gain information from her would be the best solution after all. He continued to taunt her but he noticed that the words he spoke did not seem to bother her as much as his hands on her did. Hmm, maybe that was the answer. He wanted the information and he would get it – by whatever means. Besides, taking pleasure against her will would not matter. She would be everything he wanted her to be soon enough.  
“But do not worry. O’Neill will not be angry with you anymore for allowing him to fall into my hands. You are mine now. He will never find you. And who knows, I may just keep you for a plaything once I have extracted all the information I want from your memories, your mind. Of course, by then there really won’t be any fight left in you sadly. But it is the price I will have to pay to gain your vast knowledge and once again have my place among the system lords. You will be as submissive as a puppet.”  
Carter refused to back down. “You talk so much junk but I see you still do not have Colonel O’Neill. You so called gods are not as powerful as you think you are. It’s about time the whole bunch of you realize that. We will kick your butt again just like we always have. After all, aren’t you missing a few gods around the table because of the Tauri. The same ones you claim you can defeat has left all of you scrambling for cover at one time or another”   
Sam spat the words at Baal but she could not help the fear that was showing in her eyes. Jack had told her one night when they were at his ranch just some of the things that Ba’al had done to him. She had to admit, she was nowhere near as brave as the Colonel was. And if he was to get a hold of Jack and use him against her…she really did not believe she would last that long. It was different to have the nightmares, but for that person you loved with every beat of your heart and every breath you took to be tortured because of you, no there was no way she could do it.  
“Do you think it is that easy to get rid of a god? When I am through with you, you will see how powerful I am. You will watch while I destroy every Tok’ra and Tauri on this world and every other world. Then I will reign supreme, as a god should. Oh and do not worry, I will not fail. You will give me all the information I need.”  
Carter knew how all of these supposed gods loved to brag about what they were going to do and who they were going to get rid of. She also knew that before the SGC had gotten rid of the ones they had, each team had suffered severe blows – even to the death of some very special friends. If it had not been for the Nox and the Ancients, her whole team would be dead.  
So she could not help herself when the words Ba’al told her about keeping her around as a plaything started causing her to worry. No one really knew where she was and to be honest, she did not know how long she had been where she was. She had no doubt that Jack knew she was missing. He would have figured that out the minute she did not answer his usual call around 10 that morning. Or was it the morning before? Had she been gone for over 24 hours already.  
She turned off her thoughts. Baal’s intense stare made her remember who she was with and that she really did not have that good of a poker face. She didn’t want to give anything away, especially the knowledge that she was scared. So scared in fact that her body would be trembling if it could.   
Ba’al continued to stare at Carter. He hated to admit it but she was a worthy advisory, almost as worthy as O’Neill. So therefore she would make an even better slave. He knew how well certain Tauri could and would fight to get her back but if the Tauri puppets he had on his strings did their job correctly there would be no fight from anyone. O’Neill should be dead by now and once they lost O’Neill, the fight would be lost. This would be simple if all the pieces fell into the right places. Oh but he was nobody’s fool. He knew how easy it was for these puppets of his to mess up. So he had other things in place to take care of any mistakes.   
He would be the new system lord on the counsel with all the information he would gain from Carter. O’Neill would be dead and Carter would be his new toy before the week was out. Things were looking much, much better.   
Sam watched the look of arrogance cross Ba’al’s face and she realized that Teal’c was so correct in his statement that a Goa’old’s worse enemy is their own pride. They honestly believed that they could not fail. Well she had some news for this one, she would die before he would gain any information from her. She would not betray her family, her friends, her Country and surely not her God. Because to give this false god the information he wanted was to betray everything that meant something to her and she would die first. She may not be able to go without screaming and crying but she would not give anything out.  
Sam believed this with her whole heart until she saw the knife appear in Ba’al’s hand. When it sliced through her uniform, cutting it and everything she wore under it so that she laid fully exposed in front of him, she knew then that the torture had not stopped, the game had only changed. And in the back of her mind Samantha Grace Carter was not so sure that she would be able to handle what she was afraid was coming next.  
QQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQ  
Daniel was quiet as the ambulance sped through the streets, lights flashing and siren blaring. He just could not believe what had happened, what he had seen. It should have gone down without a hitch. O’Neil would take a bullet, fall down, pretend to die while Teal’c chased whichever NID shot O’Neill. The vest should have stopped the bullet. Jack should not be bleeding like this! He should be responsive! They should not be having to take him to an emergency room to sew up a hole from a bullet that went straight through a bullet proof vest.  
The plan had been established long before Jack had gotten so antsy in the hotel room. Each person in their group had known that whomever was pulling the strings again, Jack just shook his head at them and stated “Kinsey” would want Jack completely out of the picture. Once the culprit had found out that Jack had stayed in Nevada with Carter, then they would do everything in their power to get rid of him.   
So knowing this, they decided that Jack was to go nowhere without a bullet proof vest. That way if he should get shot he would be protected and they would have gained some ground. With the rogue NID and Kinsey thinking Jack was out of the game, they would not be as weary of where they were seen or where they went. Jack being black ops trained, he could trail them right to Carter.   
That was the plan anyway. Great plan, but even great plans fail and this one had definitely failed, miserably. Daniel had seen the look on Jack’s face when the bullet had ripped through him. The look said it all and Daniel was afraid that Jack was right. Had they lost two of their best people? Had he lost two of his best friends?   
Sam was like a little sister to him. She brought out the things that his foster families had pushed down when he was growing up. When Jack would get annoyed because he would babble on profusely about something, she would stand and listen. Never doubting him and his assessment, she was willing to go to bat for him to get more data on a planet or check out some ruin that had been found. He had known of her feelings for Jack since the first time Jack had made the mistake of flirting with her. He had seen the love actually grow stronger and the hurt deeper because Sam had known that she could never have him.  
Jack on the other hand reminded him of the school bully turned big brother. Jack loved to pick on him and for some reason, he allowed it to go on. The day Jack stood in the gate room and called him Space Monkey he wanted to bury himself into the concrete, he was so embarrassed. But a part of him appreciated what Jack had said and done. When he pulled him close and hugged him, he knew then that Jack would always have fun badgering him but would beat the holy crap out of anyone else that tried.   
Jack had proven that with one of the teams that was stationed on SGC. The day in the cafeteria when one of them had called Daniel Space Monkey and then continued to make fun of him for his “geekiness”– Jack was at their table before anyone could say anything and made it plain without so many words, that no one called Daniel that but him and if he ever made the mistake of showing Daniel anything but respect, he would be cleaning every latrine at the SGC with a busted face.   
Teal’c and Janet were the other two that made up their tight group. Oh, General Hammond was in the top 5 but he really could not associate himself with Jack’s team so it put up a little barrier. Teal’c was to Daniel as a best friend was. He protected Daniel without saying he was doing it. They had been through quite a lot together and somehow it strengthened the friendship.   
Janet, oh Janet! Daniel would have her for more than just a friend if he knew she felt the same way. He had fallen for her the first time he stepped back through the gate from Abydos and she had to do a post check up on him. He watched her with fascination. Such a beautiful woman all bundled up in a short little time bomb. Oyh! And time bomb she was too. He had witnessed the arguments that she and Jack had gotten into because he did not want the Napoleon needle jabber ‘jabbing him with her needles’ as Jack would put it or he did not think she was doing all she could for whatever time member was wounded and was a resident of the infirmary.   
Daniel’s mind came back to the present as he noticed that the ambulance was slowing down. They were taking Jack to the Military hospital on the base at Grooms Lake and precautions were being followed. They did not want anyone except a select few to know that Jack was still breathing. Though they had lost him a couple of times he was fighting and fighting hard and Daniel could not help but believe that Sam was the reason why. If the word spread that Colonel Jack O’Neill was alive and being treated at Area 51, it would not take long for the rogue NID or Vice President Kinsey to find out.   
The doctors and nurses were waiting outside a back set of doors away from the front when the ambulance pulled in and stopped and they had Jack covered from head to toe with the I.V. bags and tubes hidden away from view. They whisked him away before Daniel even had time to climb out of the ambulance. As he ran down the long hall following the stretcher, he felt the phone in his pants pocket begin to vibrate and reached inside to pull it out. Seeing General Hammonds number, it did not take Daniel long to figure out that the news had hit Washington about Jack – just how much news he would soon find out.  
Daniel noticed the doctor and nurse going into the elevator and hurried to catch up as the nurse waved her hand at him. Obviously, after coming in the back way, Daniel figured they were taking Jack to a secure part of the hospital in order to work on him without a lot of people knowing. Daniel answered the phone and listened to the General’s questions, dreading the news he was going to have to give.   
“General, sir. I take it you have heard the news….” Daniel waited while the General talked on the other end. Looking at the doctor and nurse he watched their faces when they all heard the General ask if Jack was dead or alive and if alive would he make it. He saw the doctor shrug his shoulders. He was not sure if he could save Jack or not. However, knowing that the General was most likely in the room with others and that he was on a speaker phone, Daniel answered the way the General had hoped he would.  
“Um Sir, I am afraid that we have lost Jack. He didn’t survive the gun shot sir. Not sure what kind of bullets they have but it went straight through the vest. Yes, sir every precaution was taken……no sir still no word on Major Carter. Teal’c was pursuing Matthews but I believe he escaped.”  
Daniel knew he lied on both of those parts. So far Jack was still alive and Teal’c had caught Mathews. He knew not to say that or Mathews would not live to be able to tell them anything.  
“No sir we do not know who else is involved and now that Jack has been killed our chances of finding out where Sam is and who is behind this just plummeted even more. Yes, sir I will. The body will be shipped back to the SGC according to your authority. I understand and thank you, sir. He was a good man as you well know.”  
Daniel hung up the phone and put his fingers to his lips signaling the two other occupants in the car to keep quiet until they reached where they were going. He knew General Hammond had caught onto the ruse and hoped it did not turn out to be the truth. Daniel still did not like the way Jack was breathing under the sheet and when he had looked at his face the last time, there was no color in it at all. If there was it was a deathly pallor color.   
The doctor was already unsure whether Jack would make it or not and he had not seen the rip that was all the way through Jack. The bullet had gone clean through Jack’s upper chest and it had torn the skin, muscle and tissue on the way out. Daniel wanted to have faith but he knew deep down that this may be one time when SG1 wouldn’t come out victorious.   
The doors opened to the elevator and just when the doctor started to push the gurney out, he stopped and looked down at Jack. Before Daniel knew what was happening he was on the side of the stretcher, pushing on Jack’s chest. The nurse begun the oxygen pumping but the look on their faces scared Daniel. This was it. He was going to stand right here and watch one of his closest friends die and there wasn’t a damn thing he could do about it.   
Where was all these people at that they had saved their butts? Why had they been left alone on this whole thing to try to find Sam? Why was someone always gunning for Jack and Sam and never allowing them to just have a little bit of good times? Daniel’s insides were turning like a merry go round. He wanted to cry. Maybe he was crying. All he did know was that he was begging the man that had saved his butt so many times not to die on him. He did not think he would be able to handle it if he lost Jack and Sam.   
Watching the nurses and doctors as they moved Jack from the gurney to a bed while still working on him caused Daniel to slip back to his childhood when he had watched the paramedics try to save his parents. He had only been 5 when they had died but he remembered it as if it were yesterday. The beating on the chest, the chaotic noises and the smell of death. And he was stuck right here seeing, smelling and hearing the same thing all over again. The only difference now was that the doctor had switched to the paddles but they weren’t doing much better. The line seemed to go on forever on the machine – just one long straight line.   
Then it changed. Suddenly there was a different rhythm on the machine. Jack’s heart had started back. Very slowly and barely going but it was there. The doctor turned to look at Daniel in unbelief. Daniel was looking the same way, using the wall behind him to hold himself up.   
“He is alive. Whether or not he makes it now and later is up to him but we have got to see what we can do about this wound. You need to step out Dr. Jackson and we will let you know if anything changes.” The doctor said the words but Daniel knew what he meant by “if anything changes” and it scared him all over again. He knew the chances of Jack making it off of the operating table alive was almost a zero to none. Again if he did -it was only because of Sam.  
Daniel waited in the hallway for what felt like eternity. When the doctor came out saw him, he waved for Daniel to come back to the room they had taken Jack to at first. When Daniel walked in, he knew things had not gone the way he had prayed. Jack was laying in the bed, and if Daniel did not know better he would have sworn he was dead. The ventilator plugged up and the tube down Jack’s throat told Daniel all he needed to know. Jack had slipped into a coma. The chances of him surviving now had just dropped below zero.   
He walked out of the room and picked up the phone that was vibrating in his pocket. It was Teal’c. Oh God, could he even talk to him? He had meant to call him and let him know what was happening but things had gone by so fast. He was not sure where Teal’c had gone when he had come back and realized what had happened to Jack. He just looked at all the blood and then turned around to face the man he held in his hands. He jerked him and turned to walk off, not listening to Daniel or the man’s pleas.  
Mathews face turned whiter than any fresh snow had ever been and he knew that Teal’c would kill him if O’Neill was dead. That is of course if Teal’c did not take him back to the hotel room to Reynolds. Daniel knew Reynolds was another one that if he got his hands on Mathews before anyone could stop him, Mathews would be dead. Daniel hoped not because Mathews may be there only link to finding Sam. But Daniel had this small suspension that Mathews did not know where Sam was. He had this funny feeling that each person in this little scenario knew no more besides the part they were to play.  
In other words, whoever took Sam most likely was not Mathews. Daniel had a feeling that Mathews job was to do nothing but get rid of Jack. He also felt sure that someone out there had a job to get rid of Mathews when he finished his job. Daniel prayed that Mathews had failed miserably with his one job.   
“Daniel Jackson, how is O’Neill?”  
The words came out of Teal’c’s mouth and not even being in the same room with him, Daniel could tell that this was one time when apprehension was showing on Teal’c’s face. Teal’c and Jack were closer than anything Daniel had ever witnessed. They were brothers. Brothers in arms. Brothers to the end. They would fight and protect each other, while dying themselves.   
Daniel wanted to answer Teal’c but he was worried. Was the phones secure that they were using? To be sure no one had gotten to them. If they had, then there was someone at the SGC conspiring against them also. Could Daniel take the chance?   
“Daniel Jackson, I am using my secure phone – no one has compromised it nor yours. I had them checked when we left the SGC. That is why I gave you a new one upon finding you. Now tell me of O’Neill.”  
Daniel told him. Told him everything. He heard the man grunt and then he heard something break when he told him that Jack had slipped into a coma. Daniel prayed it was not Mathews that had connected with whatever Teal’c had just destroyed.   
QQQQQQQQQQQ  
Yes, I know but I promise in the long run it will all work out – I hope. I am not even sure what my Mr. Muse is doing at this point. I will warn you that the next chapter will deal more with Sam’s torture and it will be graphic. Mature audiences only please!


	11. Without you, Is there life?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok guys here it is – Chapter 11. Please understand that this does get very graphic with Sam’s torture. I would suggest that if you do not want to read any of her torture, to skip the from the second set of Q’s to the third set – you will not miss anything of the rest of the story. If you do read it, I understand the tears and the anger that maybe expressed, as I have shared some since Mr. Muse has written this and left me with this outcome. There are parts in here from different episodes so please be warned and also note that though there may be some scenes brought up after “Hero’s”, our little friend is still around and poking people.

Without you is there life?

Reynolds watched Teal’c as he destroyed his hands on the cement posts surrounding the balcony outside Major Carter’s hotel room. He should try and stop him but there was no way he was going to come between him and the onslaught of his anger. They had finally convinced him that Mathews could not be harmed. Even though Reynolds himself wanted so badly to destroy him, Daniel and Davis was right. Mathews may be the only hope to finding Major Carter. However, Barrett also agreed with what Daniel had been thinking. He highly doubted that Mathews knew anything of the plan other than to get rid of O’Neill.  
The day had turned to night and the men sat in the sitting room, the room silent. Teal’c had finally relented to allowing Davis to check his hands and bandage what he could, although the likelihood of it doing any good was slim. He was in O’Neill’s room now getting dressed to go to the hospital. Davis figured when he returned after seeing O’Neill, he would be destroying something else, hopefully this time in the gym with gloves on. Reynolds and Ferretti had just gotten back from searching the cities close to Grooms Lake hoping they would find something out about Carter. Meanwhile Daniel was still sitting at the hospital, praying for a miracle.  
Barrett had been on the phone all day trying to get someone to listen to him about the urgency of the situation. Samantha Carter was not just another Air Force member. She was not just someone who studied deep space telemetry. Her life and what she did for a living was not a made up bed time horror story. Major Samantha Carter was very real, very important and with the help of SG1 had saved his butt and everyone else’s butt at least once. He was not just going to leave her out there somewhere for some maniac to have their way with her.   
Davis had been on the phone with General Hammond, the Joint Chief’s and President Hayes on and off all day. They knew about Mathews and the two men that O’Neill and Ferretti had jumped on the tarmac but seemed not to know anything or anyone else.   
QQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQ  
The men in Washington had heard everything that had transpired in Nevada – the only difference was that to each of them, Colonel Jack O’Neill was dead. And no matter what Jack and the men in Nevada believed it was hard for some of them to believe that the now Vice President Kinsey was involved.  
When Vice President Kinsey asked if they were sure this was not just some made up scheme from SG1 to protect O’Neill from what had transpired in Colorado, General Hammond was quick to ask him what exactly had transpired in Colorado.   
“Come, George. You know as well as I do that the president had informed you that Colonel O’Neill was to only stay in Nevada for 24 hours. So if he was here longer than 24 hours and you did not give him permission for that, than Colonel O’Neill was breaking protocol. We also know how Jackson, Carter and that Jaffa like to follow in his lead.”   
Senator Kinsey looked like a cat that had swallowed a yellow canary. He just knew he had General Hammond, Jack O’Neill and the rest of SG1 right where he wanted them. On their way out the door of the SGC and the people he wanted on their way in the door.  
“So let’s rethink this. What really happened was that O’Neill took advantage of the fact that he and Carter were going to be away together in another state where no one would see their fraternizing and he pulled Daniel Jackson and that Jaffa in with them so they could be warned if anyone got suspicious. Hell for all we know – Major Carter may not even be missing and O’Neill may not even be dead. They may be in some hotel room together for all we know.”   
General Hammond looked at Senator Kinsey as if he were some sick lunatic that needed to be put out of his misery. His anger was building. He was already worried about his people. Carter was still missing. His god-daughter, the blonde haired blued eyed little girl that he had watched grow into a fine young upstanding lady in the United States Air Force and now a major – soon to be Lt. Colonel for the front line defense of America. How dare this pig headed jackass make people think less of his friends.   
Knowing the truth about Jack did not help matters, either. He knew from the way Reynolds had talked to him earlier when he had called on a secure line that Jack was far from being out of danger. Jack may be insubordinate to some when it came to following rules but Jack was a damn good man and soldier. He would die before he saw any harm come to his Country or his team. And because of this jackass sitting across from him, he just may.   
However before General Hammond had a chance to speak up in defense of Colonel O’Neill and Major Carter, President Hayes cleared his throat and suddenly you could hear a pin drop in the room. He looked over at Kinsey and shook his head. He could not believe that he had been friends with this man for as long as he had. He sure could not believe that they had been team mates for over 10 years while he was preparing to get into the White House. Now he worried just what kind of influence Kinsey had on people and whether he wanted that influence involved with his presidency.   
“Let’s get something straight before this conversation goes any further. First of all, you are correct Bob, George was told by our previous president that O’Neill was to stay in Nevada for only 24 hours to make sure that Major Carter was settled at Area 51 and would not be needing anything else.” President Hayes held up his hand when the Vice President started to say something, and President Hayes continued with his statement. “However, I later called George and informed him that Colonel O’Neill had my permission as the new President of the United States to stay in Nevada for as long as Major Carter was here since he was her CO and there had been some scuttlebutt around the water cooler per say that she may be in danger.”   
“Now I see that I was correct in placing him to watch over Major Carter now that she is missing and the department you used to be over seems to be in the middle of the whole thing. After all wasn’t Mathews assigned to you for a little while as your security?”  
President Hayes took a deep breath while staring straight at Vice President Kinsey. He could actually see the man sweating from across the room and it looked as if the chair had suddenly become an anthill the way Kinsey was squirming.  
QQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQ  
Sam had been left alone after Ba’al had stripped her for what seemed like over a day, just lying in a room with bright lights. The I.V. fluids had been stopped so that Sam could feel her body and she could move all of it now, hence the straps this time which she did not have before. She had also been given a couple of shots and she hated the way they were making her feel. It was as if her body was ready to have sex with someone and she could not stop the feeling no matter how hard she tried. She did not like where this was going. Sam was no fool. She knew what was going to happen the minute Ba’al had stripped her but she had thought when she started feeling her arms and legs again that she would be able to get loose and maybe at least get away from him but she was wrong. The straps had fastened before she had had a chance to move.   
She closed her eyes and prayed that somewhere out there, Jack was getting closer to her. She had no doubt that by now the whole SGC knew that she was missing and General Hammond had sent back up. But it was for Jack she longed. She could not help it, she wanted him. She needed him. The feeling growing in between her thighs was wrong and her nipples increasing and growing hard was wrong but if he were here it would be ok. They could make it be ok. She did not want to be doing this for a sick creep. She wanted her man.  
Now Ba’al was back and Sam was scared. She had been frightened before, a lot of times to be honest but she did not think she had ever been this scared before. She was laying strapped to a table naked in front of one of the most sadistic men/Goa’ulds Sam had ever known.   
Sam watched Ba’al as he put the ribbon device on his hand. She remembered the one Kendra had but this one was made differently. The tips of the fingers seemed to have long fingernails made onto them. Fingernails that would hurt if used on a person’s flesh. Sam moved what part of her body she could away from his hand as it started towards the lower part of her abdomen. The delight she saw in his eyes made her tremble even worse.  
“You know; it takes a weak man to want to have sex with a woman who doesn’t prefer him. Especially when they don’t want sex with him so bad that he has to use drugs to make her want sex.” Sam said the words attempting to be brave but inside she was crumbling. Could she last through this? Could she keep quiet about the secrets she knew concerning their allies and her Country. She prayed she could but her doubt was beginning to grow.  
Ba’al only smiled and moved his hand between her thighs. The pain shot through her body when the nails scraped across the wet folds of her inner thighs. She could not stop the scream of pain that ripped from her throat as he pushed three of his fingers covered with the ribbon device inside of her. She could feel them cutting her but she would not talk. She may have to give in and cry or scream but she was not going to give him the pleasure of telling him what he wanted to know.  
She felt him when he slid his fingers out and placed his palm across her opening. Suddenly she felt as if her insides were being burned. Sam knew that he had activated the ribbon device inside of her and the intense pain made her whether in agony. Screaming and crying, Sam called out for Jack. In the mist of her pain, his face formed in her mind and she longed for him. Longed for him more than she had ever longed for anything in her life. She felt the fingers being pushed inside of her again and she felt herself growing light headed from the pain. By the time Ba’al had his hand completely in her, Sam was passed out, the last thing she saw was Jack’s face.   
However, Ba’al was not going to let her get away that easy. He intended to keep the pain going until she told him what he wanted to know. Even if it meant reducing her down to nothing but a limp ragdoll – he would gain the information he desired. He removed his hand from inside of her and slapped Sam across the face until she woke up. Ba’al’s face was the first thing she saw since he was leaning right over her.  
“Are you ready to talk to me Major Carter, or do I get to have more fun? The choice is yours. We can end this right now. Of course you can never return to your people but the torture would be over at least. I have no intention of ever turning you lose.”  
Sam looked at him and did what she knew her CO would have done. She gathered all she could and spit right in his face. Ba’al wiped his face and Sam noticed that the smile seemed to come off along with her spit. So he was not as happy as he was when he first started this. Well that was fine with her. She was not as strong as Jack but she was not ready to give in yet. Oh there was no denying the fact that her body hurt like she had been dropped out of an airplane without a parachute but nope she was not giving in yet.  
Ba’al was not ready to give up either. He still had a few tricks up his sleeve and when she saw his face change, Sam knew that the worse was still coming, if at all possible. Ba’al raised the hand that held the ribbon device on it and ran it across Sam’s face, the nails making cuts across her checks. She tried to turn her head but his other hand gripped her chin and kept her face looking straight at him. He wanted to see the pain in her eyes, it was as if it spurred him on and the desire to hurt her suddenly grew in him like a hunger.   
He took his hand and made a trail from her face to her neck and down to her breast. He caught one of her nipples with the fingers of the ribbon device and twisted it until Sam screamed, begging him to stop. But her screams only fueled him on. Until she was ready to talk, he was going to enjoy this. His other hand let go of her chin and slipped back between her thighs, grabbing onto the center of her nerves. She cried and tried pulling away from him and he laughed.   
“Major Carter, just tell me what I need to know and I will let you rest.”  
Sam stopped screaming. Barely loud enough for him to hear her she told him the first thing that came to mind, knowing that it would only cause her more pain.   
“Go to hell you sick bastard! I am not going to give you any information you want. You might as well go ahead and kill me.”  
“Oh but Major Carter, you do not understand this game. I do not intend on killing you. If you die it will be because you chose to. I intend to keep this up until you give me what I want. There will be no release for you, even by death. After I am finished getting the information I want, you will still be around for me to have fun with. And you WILL tell me what I want to know. There are still parts of your body that I haven’t gotten to explore yet.”  
Sam closed her eyes as frightening images begin to form in her mind. She tried to recall Jack’s face but just as it started to become clear, she felt as if her stomach was being cut open. The nails dug deep into her flesh and she wanted so bad to make it stop but she could not. There was no way she was going to betray her Country. There was no way she would ever betray Jack and if she gave in, she felt she would be betraying him. The nails dug deeper, into her stomach, into her sides, scraping across her breast. Leaving trails of blood across her skin and again Sam lost consciousness.   
This time Ba’al allowed her to wake on her own. Though she tried desperately not to she could not help but feel the pain once more and the tears begin again, if they had ever stopped. When she awoke she noticed that her position on the metal table had been changed. She was now lying with her bottom prompt up in the air, making her completely accessible. Sam cringed in fright. She prayed that she was wrong. That there was no way he would do this. Not sodomize her. Surely even he was not that sick. But she feared he was when she looked up and saw the gleam in his eyes. Seeing that both hands were now covered with a ribbon device, Sam knew exactly what he had planned and she knew there was no way she would be able to keep the secrets of her planet much longer.  
QQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQ  
“Daniel Jackson, you must go get something to eat.”   
Daniel jumped when the words broke the quietness of the room. He was not surprised that he had not heard the big man enter the hospital room. Teal’c was even more stealthy than Jack was and he never heard Jack when he was coming either. Unless of course Jack was in a sour mood then he seemed to stomp like a spoiled three-year-old. He felt the Jaffa warrior place his hand on Daniel’s shoulder and he saw the wrappings around it. He looked down by Teal’c’s side to see that the other hand was wrapped just as much and just as tightly.   
“Teal’c, man what did you do? Are you ok? You can’t just go around demolishing things. Your hands are not going to take much more.”  
“Indeed, Daniel Jackson, you are correct. Destroying Mathews would have been better for my knuckles but you had requested that I not harm him even though I was prepared to commit Kel Mar Tokeem.”  
Daniel thought back to the first time he had heard those words. It was when Bra’tac had come to the SGC to get Teal’c because Apophis had taken his son. Teal’c had found out that one of his closest friends had married his wife after she had dissolved their marriage. Upon hearing this news, Bra’tac had made Teal’c swear that he would not commit Kel Mar Tokeem on Fro’tak. Teal’c did not get a chance to take any revenge out on Fro’tak because Jack had to kill him when he tried to turn them all in to Apophis.  
“I still do not understand why I was not able to take my anger out on this Mathews for. The likelihood of him knowing anything that may benefit us is most doubtful. And if he had known anything, he would have been willing to tell me all by the time I had finished with him.”  
Daniel looked at Teal’c. It was probably the longest thing he had ever heard him utter. He knew how Teal’c felt. Taking his anger out on Mathews had actually crossed Daniel’s mind also but he knew that would not do Sam any good. If there was any chance that Mathews did know something, he wanted to find it out. Mathews could very well surprise them all and be able to hold out long enough to take a beating and not give anything away. For that reason, Daniel made them wait.   
Again, he heard Teal’c tell him he must go eat so he stood and waited for Teal’c to finish talking to O’Neill. Teal’c believed that his brother in arms could hear him for he had told them all that he had heard each of them talk to him when he was going through the Rite of M’al Sharran when Apophis had taken his hold back over on Teal’c. The time that he had spent lying there listening to each of them talk to him was one of the reasons he had made it through hell to live again. When he finished talking to O’Neill, he and Daniel walked out of Jack’s room towards the cafeteria, leaving strict instructions and their phone number that they were to be called if anything changed with the Colonel. Daniel meant anything.   
He had spoken with General Hammond just a couple of hours ago and let him know there was no change in Jack. The doctor had informed him that if there were a change, it would most likely not be for the best. Upon hearing these words, General Hammond agreed with Daniel and had called Janet and asked her to get on the next flight to Nevada. He wanted the best care for Jack and that meant her. Janet knew Jack. She had operated on him, watched him come back from near death and had fought with him for over 6 years. Right now Jack needed someone that would not just allow him to take the easy road. He needed someone that was going to push him to get up off of that hospital bed.   
Daniel just prayed that she got here in time. He knew the longer it took for Jack to come out of the coma, his odds of living were dwindling down to nothing. He also knew in the back of his mind that if they did find Sam and Jack did not make it, then Sam would be lost to them also. He had heard Jack on the way to the hospital. He had heard the words and at first he that that they were just mumblings of a man close to death. But the more he thought about the words, he had a feeling that a lot had transpired between his two teammates before the nightmare had begun.  
Three days had passed since he and Teal’c had arrived in Nevada on separate planes and they had watched Jack the first day they were together. The anguish on his face belied his true feelings for Major Samantha Carter. Oh, Daniel knew, had always known, that Jack and Sam carried deep feelings for each other but he also knew that they had always allowed the rules and regulations of the military to keep them apart.   
These feelings had become apparent to anyone watching close enough on two separate occasions if not more. When Jack had been lost with Colonel Mayborne and Sam could not find him and again, when Jack had to shoot Sam twice with a zat gun because of the entity that had taken over her body. They had been distraught beyond consolation and their anger and grief showed.  
However, he and Teal’c both knew that had changed. They had seen it in the ghostly eyes of their friend when more and more news came that Sam could not be found. Their bond had grown deeper since they had been in Nevada and both men could only assume why. Especially with Jack thinking he was no longer Sam’s CO.  
So sadly Daniel knew that without the one the other would not make it.  
QQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQ  
Sam opened her eyes. Her body was on fire from the cuts and bruises that covered her and inside of her. She could not remember when she passed out but she knew she had been out for a while. The only reason Ba’al would have allowed her to stay out this long was because he had another sick plan up his sleeve. Sam wasn’t sure if she could handle much more but knowing that she still knew who she was, where she was and who was doing this to her meant that she had not given any information away. For how much longer she would be able to withstand though, was something she really could not answer.  
Upon awakening, Sam realized that her body had again been arranged in a different position, this time with her sitting up a little more. Her head had been laying completely down on the table so that all she saw was what was above her or what her eyes could see when she turned her head. Sitting like this made the pain worse in her lower regions but she flatly refused to give him the pleasure of screaming anymore. She remembered that at some point during her last torture session or teaching session as he had called it, she had reverted back to her training days – name, rank and serial number only and it had infuriated him to the point that the pain became so bad that she lost it and her mind drifted to the two days that she and Jack had spent together in the hotel room.   
Sam knew that Jack was still looking for her. It did not matter that he had told her that everyone had given up and gone home. That he had told her that she was now his to do with what he wanted. That she had been forgotten by her teammates, her Country, her family and even her God. That he was now her god. Sam knew that it did not matter if she had been with this lunatic for one day or for the four days he claimed she had been; Jack would never give up. He would find her and take her to his home and take care of all the pain that he had caused her.  
She heard the door open and a look of horror crossed her face. No, dear God no! Please they did not, they could not have him!! Not Jack. Yet here he was, being dragged into the room by two of Ba’al’s servants. He had been beaten to the point where he could not even hold his head up and they were literally dragging him into the room. The tears streamed down her face and she called out for him, begging him to look at her. To see for her own eyes that he was alive. Now the doubt filled her to overwhelming. There was nothing they could do to her to make her talk. But to her Jack. She would not last a minute.


	12. Hope Awakens

Hope awakens!  
Mathews was led to the car by Reynolds and Barrett. They had been told by President Hayes that he wanted Mathews sent to Washington right away. He would have someone meet them to take custody of Mathews and bring him in. Reynolds didn’t like this idea. He would much prefer that the SGC take care of the man but who was he to argue with the President. Besides, General Hammond trusted this new President and that made it a little better. Knowing General Hammond was still in Washington and would see that justice was carried out eased all of the men a little that were left in Nevada.   
Mathews knew that his life was over. He had known that the minute that the Jaffa had caught him. In a way it was better for him that he had been caught because surely these men wouldn’t inflect the pain on him that Vice President Kinsey would when he found out that he had screwed up the assignment.   
Mathews couldn’t believe that he had allowed jealousy to push him to such lengths. All because he was jealous that the woman he wanted loved another man. And to be honest, he didn’t even know if he even loved her. It could have really been nothing but infatuation that caught his eye but it was too late now. That was what this whole thing had been about. He wasn’t jealous because of O’Neil’s military record. He was jealous because he had known that no other man stood a chance with Samantha Carter because of O’Neill. What had he been thinking to get involve with all of this?  
Mathews knew he had screwed up. He was a dead man if the wrong people got ahold of him so he thought his best course of action was to confess everything he knew. And confess he did. He named names of people in high places. Names that Reynolds and Barrett knew would be hard to believe was involved if they didn’t get him to Washington to confess in front of the President.   
But just as quick as he starting confessing, Mathews suddenly grew very quiet. He knew when he saw the two men that had exited the car and would take him from Barrett and Reynolds that he would either end up in front of Vice President Kinsey or just end up in an alley dead. He pulled hard and was able to jerk away from Barrett but he wasn’t as lucky with Reynolds and with the right force, Reynolds had him down on the ground just as the two men started shooting at the three of them.   
Reynolds watched the bullet from the berretta rip through Barrett’s arm with such force that he actually turned completely around. By the time he was able to pull his side arm out, Barrett was on the ground with another bullet in his leg. Reynolds aimed and fired, catching one of the men in the chest. The other one turned, running away from the scene. Reynolds looked over at Barrett to make sure he was ok and then realized that Mathews had gotten away.  
He took off after Mathews and came around the corner just as he saw Mathews raise the gun that he had taken from the man that Reynolds had shot. He saw the bullet tear a hole through Mathews head. Mathews wasn’t running to get away. He had decided that he was better off dead by his own hand. He knew that to seek death had been cowardly but he also knew that he wouldn’t have been able to face the man that had once called him friend if he should happen to live, so death was welcomed.  
Damn! The last thing Reynolds had wanted was to lose Mathews but if he could catch the other guy without killing him, they still had a chance to put Kinsey, Samuels and the other men that Mathews had named away for life. He took off in the other direction praying he still had a chance to catch him. To be sure by now the police had been called due to the gun fire. He had just turned another corner when the man came in sight. Just as Reynolds raised his gun to shoot him in the leg to put him down, he felt fire hit his back. He knew what it was that had hit him. Hell, he had been hit with the damn things enough to know. But what was someone doing on Earth using a staff weapon out in public. The last thought he had before he felt his body hit the concrete was that he had let his friend down. How could O’Neill forgive him for not finding Major Carter.  
Mathews never would have guessed that even in death he had given Ba’al something he needed. He had thought that by taking his life it would be over but he hadn’t realized that they were still going to use him. He hadn’t realized that someone else would now be suffering because of what he had done. He hadn’t realized that by taking his life, he had placed another person who had called him friend at one time in the same fate as he had Major Carter. He had placed someone else in Ba’al’s sick hands.  
QQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQ  
Sam watched with a sickening feeling in the pit of her stomach as the two Jaffa pushed Jack into what looked like a spider web. She hadn’t even noticed the web hanging on the wall across from the foot of the table that she laid on. But then this was the first time she was actually able to see anything but the ceiling and Ba’al’s awful face. Her pain seemed to have subsided as she watched them. How had he been captured? Was he still here by himself? Why hadn’t General Hammond sent someone else by now to help them?  
The questions raced through her mind and Ba’al watched her face. He knew he had her now. There was no way she was going to let her lover suffer just to keep secrets. He was hoping he wouldn’t have to do this, he so hated using other people to gain information because their minds seemed to wander more when worried about the other victim.   
He had learned this when he had O’Neill the first time. Towards the end, before that insufferable Yu had played stupid and bombarded his fortress, he had watched O’Neill’s mind begin to deteriorate and it actually saddened him. Such a worthy opponent to become idle brained was a shame. But such is the cost when gaining information. Besides, he still hadn’t paid O’Neill back for stealing his slave. But he felt deep in the recesses of his mind that when O’Neill found out he had Major Carter, the blame he would carry would be payment enough.  
“You see my dear, there are other ways to get you to tell me what I need to know. My resources are endless. By the time I finish with your Colonel you will have told me all I need to know. Just remember I will not let him die and remain dead until I have learned all. He will want you to allow him to die, he has suffered this pain before and he begged then to allow me to let him die. So the amount of pain and torture he receives is totally up to you.”  
Ba’al watched Sam as she looked at where Jack was hanging. He knew without a doubt that he had her right where he wanted her and as long as the injection worked and the man wasn’t able to speak, he would have her spilling everything she knew about her world and all of their allies.  
“We can get started whenever you like. It is up to you or we can just kill him and not make him suffer by dying over and over. After all, according to you humans, the more time he spends in the sarcophagus the more of himself he loses. Do you really want him to lose what makes him Jack O’Neill?”  
Sam wasn’t quite ready to give up the fight yet and she knew Jack wouldn’t want her to.  
“So even if I tell you what you what to know, you still plan on killing him? Well that doesn’t really leave much for me to bargain with does it? I mean if I am going to lose him anyway, what difference does it make if he dies once or a dozen times. At least if you keep playing with him, it gives him more of a chance to escape. And we all know that he will escape, don’t we? After all he has proved in the past that he is too worthy of an opponent for you!”   
Sam recoiled as the hand went across her face with so much force that she knew he had broken her cheek bone. Oh boy, she had really pissed him off now but she didn’t care. The more time she could give Jack the better odds they both had. If he couldn’t figure out a way to get out, she felt sure someone would find them. She just had to believe that.  
Ba’al could not believe the renewed strength he seemed to see in Major Carter. What did it take to break these blasted humans? He hadn’t meant to show his anger so profoundly. He hated it when he lost control of himself. She would surely pay for her insolence, with her lover and herself. He still had no intention of letting her go but now if he had to kill her so be it. This was becoming too tiresome. He wanted the information he needed and nothing else was going to stop him.  
He looked at the man hanging on the web in front of him. This was a new twist. He hadn’t hoped to get someone else to torture but he would enjoy it. He had seen this man before. This man had been with O’Neill and Carter and had stopped his puppets a couple of times from getting information for him. But this was not the one that Ba’al had hoped would be hanging in front of him. That pathetic little weasel had taken his own life like a coward and Ba’al was told that he had confessed everything before the bullet tore through his skull. Although his confession had fallen on ears that would never be able to tell anyone because the man who had heard his confession was now here, to be tortured. And it made it all the sweeter that he also worked for the SGC, had devoted his life to the very world that Ba’al wanted so badly to destroy  
Ba’al was still upset about the other puppet. He was the one that had screwed this whole thing up. He could not even do his job correctly. He had put two people in his hands to get rid of and both of them had lived. What was so hard about killing someone? True O’Neill laid in the hospital in critical condition and the chances of him getting out were very slim. But he should have never made it to the hospital. And the puppet that put him in the hospital should have never been caught by the other side.  
Ba’al knew it was a good thing that he still had one or two that no one knew was on his side and they had brought this other one to him. This one would surely suffer. However, if they had brought the one he had hoped for, he would have suffered a wrath worse than hell.   
If that idiot has caused me to lose this battle because of his screw up, then the man who assigned him to get rid of O’Neill will suffer even more. He will never be able to know rest for I will never let him die.  
Ba’al had known all along that he had planned to get rid of each of the puppets that had played in his scheme. Now it seemed he would have to even kill the top puppet. He had not wanted to do that for he would have made a perfect slave with him in the position to take over the leadership of this world. It was easier for people to follow him if he knew there was someone else who they thought was in charge. He had found out that this Kinsey was being questioned and if he revealed who he was in league with, Ba’al’s whole plan would come crashing down in front of him. Better to just get rid of them all after he finished with Major Carter. He still had not given up hope on her yet. She would talk, she wouldn’t let O’Neill suffer because of her. Ba’al believed that to the very core of his existence.   
Sam watched Ba’al as he laid out objects upon the table that was beside where she laid. There were knifes of different blade patterns, bottles of liquid that didn’t look all that great and there was a gun, it actually looked like the Colonel’s berretta. She knew what each of the items were for and she looked again at the man hanging in front of her. Could she do this? Could she watch him suffer and keep her mouth shut? She knew he would tell her to. Heck, he would order her to. He would not allow her to use his relief to reveal the secrets of their planet. But was she that strong?   
The knife left Ba’al’s hand and Sam tried to turn her face but she noticed that her head had been strapped down to the table. She could only look straight ahead. That didn’t stop her from closing her eyes. However, the pain she felt when the nails from the hand device scraped across her stomach made her jerk them open and she realized that she wasn’t going to be allowed the hope of not watching what was being done to Jack.   
She watched as Jack jerked awake when the knife cut through his chest and she couldn’t hold back the scream that tore from her throat. She thought it would have echoed along with his, but no sound came from him. She watched him struggle to try to get loose but it was to no avail. He was caught like a rabbit in a trap. She cried out to him that she was sorry. Sorry that she hadn’t listened to him and stayed with him the morning all this had started. She was sorry that they would never get to know again the feeling’s that they had experienced the two nights that they had spent together. She was sorry that she would die right here and never get to live her life with him. But most of all she was sorry for all the time they had wasted doing what others had wanted them to do.   
The man’s eyes closed in pure agony as she said the words to him. Knowing that she thought the man she loved was dying caused him to realize what we are willing to sacrifice for our careers. You cannot force someone to stop loving someone. He tried to tell her that he was ok. He tried to think like Jack O’Neill because he knew if he revealed who he was, Major Carter would suffer more than him and he couldn’t allow her to suffer anymore. He saw the cuts and bruises and burns that ran across her body and it made him want to escape just so he could kill the person who had done this to her.  
He knew now that his life was over. He had already assumed that when he saw Mathews shoot himself in the head and had felt his own body fall to the ground but this just magnified the fact. He watched Major Carter’s eyes fill with tears and his heart actually hurt for her. He knew that she wasn’t crying for him. She was crying for who she thought he was and although that hurt, he couldn’t watch her cry for anyone. He had to carry this through though. No matter how bad it got, he couldn’t give in to them and make her give up what this lunatic and the rest of them wanted. He thought of his wife, of his Mary and his children. He would die here but he would not cause them to be dishonored. He would do his duty and prayed that they understood.  
He felt the second knife as it made contact with his body and he braced himself because he knew that there were more to be put in him. He was correct, the third knife hit him in a different spot. Each time a knife sliced into him, he had heard the man ask Major Carter if she was ready to tell him what he needed to know and he prayed she could see him shake his head no. He was begging her not to tell this nut job what he wanted to know. He tried to talk but the words wouldn’t come out. He had to convince her that he wasn’t who she thought he was. Oh he had no doubt that Sam Carter would not want to see anyone suffer but if he could only make her understand that he was ok with this. That he would die for his Country to keep her from being hurt anymore.  
Reynolds felt the knife hit him again and this time he felt no pain. He only felt the coldness as death took over his body. He smiled as he saw Mary’s face in front of him. Her beautiful smile and he knew he was going to be ok. At last, it was over and Major Carter hadn’t revealed anything. Ba’al looked at Major Carter as they removed the body from the web and took it to be placed in the sarcophagus. He couldn’t believe that she had allowed the human to die, especially with her thinking it was her O’Neill. That was ok. She would eventually get tired of seeing him tortured and give in.   
“Why Major Carter, I thought surely you loved O’Neill more than you are showing me. But that is fine. We will continue once he has been revived. It takes about 4 hours for a body to come alive once they have completely died so we will rest for that time and when he is returned we will begin again.”  
Ba’al picked up the bottle that was sitting on the table and turned it in his hand. The grin that covered his face was full of malice and Sam shivered.  
“The next item is O’Neill’s favorite. He loves the way the acid burns through his skin. You will be able to actually smell his flesh burning and see the smoke as the clothes burn around the wound. This takes a little longer for him to die but it is so much more painful. We shall see how long you and he last for this round.”  
Ba’al actually meant down so that his face was right next to Sam’s and she felt his lips brush against her check. However, when he started pushing them against her own lips she had quite a surprise for him when her teeth clamped down on his bottom lip. Even though she felt the pain as he cut her, she laughed as she tasted the blood. She wasn’t done yet and from the way Jack had continued to shake his head at her, he wasn’t either. Deep down she didn’t know how much more she would be able to watch him die but for now they had given their rescuers more time. If only they would hurry. The pain that Ba’al was inflecting on her soon caused her to lose consciousness with her last thought that surely Daniel and Teal’c were somewhere out there looking for them and would come soon.  
When she awoke some time later, Sam watched while Jack hung on the web-like prison. He was unconscious which made it even worse because she needed to see him. She needed to know that he was still alive. She would not make him suffer anymore. There was no way anyone would expect her to, would they? He had died and been revived three different times and she knew each time was doing worse for him. She wouldn’t want him like this and neither would he want to live this way. She called out to him to try to awaken him, but it didn’t seem to do any good. She was tired of the fight. She was tired of the pain. Maybe it was time to end this.   
QQQQQQQQQQQQQQ  
Teal’c had just left the hospital to find out what had happened at the hotel. Ferretti had called and needed him there right away. Something about Agent Barrett being wounded and Reynolds missing. Daniel had sat in the chair close to the bed and had drifted off to sleep. He had seen Janet earlier when she had come in to check on Jack but there had been no change. Before he had drifted off, he had to remind himself how long this had been going on. He couldn’t believe they were going on day five of Sam missing. Jack had been in the hospital for four of those days.   
Something woke Daniel up during the night and he looked over at Jack. There was something different about him. Some kind of feeling came over Daniel and he realized right before the alarm sounded what it was. Jack was fighting, his body was dying but he was fighting it. Daniel was pushed against the wall as the nurses and the doctors came running into the room with the crash cart. Janet didn’t wait for the paddles to reach the voltage as she jumped on Jack’s bed and begin beating on his chest, screaming for the nurse to give him the injection she had called for.  
Janet continued to beat on Jack’s chest while the doctor charged the machine. She couldn’t believe that she may have made it here just in time to watch Jack die. Not Jack. Not the way she had fought to keep him alive. Jack was durable. He could handle anything. Jack came out of anything that was thrown at him. She continued to beat even while the doctor across from her used the paddles to try to get a rhythm. She didn’t even notice the tears that were streaming down her face nor the man that was standing across the room, starring at them both in disbelief.  
The doctor stopped and looked at Janet, shaking his head. It was over. He soon had to reach up and pull her off of the bed because she kept fighting, not believing what was happening. The Colonel had fought but the fight was over and he had lost. Janet stood on the floor with disbelief in her eyes. The paddles were put back where they belonged and the machine was turned off. The straight line on the heart monitor signified only one thing. The nurse pulled the sheet over Jack’s head and Daniel knew it was no ruse this time. He looked at Janet and saw the tears but he couldn’t move. He knew he should go comfort her but he couldn’t.   
Colonel Jonathon “Jack” O’Neill was dead. There was no sarcophagus to bring him back this time. Daniel didn’t see anyone else coming to the rescue because in all their hurry to try to find Sam no one had thought to contact their off-world allies. Even if they had, would they have come? If Jacob was in the middle of an assignment, the Tok’ra sure wouldn’t have worried about helping. Thor preferred to only communicate with Jack, maybe Sam if he had to. The Nox hadn’t been heard from since Lya had helped remove the symbiot from within Skaara and Bra’tac, well Bra’tac really couldn’t do anything. Although if Bra’tac were to come, he could reduce the amount of destruction and killing that Daniel feared would take place once Teal’c learned of Jack’s death.   
Oh God! Teal’c…. how am I going to tell him this? How am I going to tell Teal’c that his brother in arms would be fighting no more battles with him? How am I going to tell Reynolds and Ferretti this, not to mention the General? And if we should happen to find Sam, once she finds out, will she make it? Will she be willing to go on living without Jack?   
The thoughts raced across Daniels mind. It was as if his mind was protecting him from giving in himself. Because once he grasped the situation, how was he going to be able to handle it? Then he felt it. He felt the dread and the pain begin in his chest. It was like a ton of bricks had landed on him and he couldn’t move. His knees were giving out as he felt his body start to slump towards the floor. Then he realized he was sitting in a chair at the side of Jack’s bed. Janet was kneeling in front of him, trying to get his attention but his mind kept going.   
God, what am I supposed to do? How am I going to go on doing what I love to do knowing that Jack will not be there to protect me when things get crazy.  
Janet watched Daniels face as she felt his pulse. He was as white as the sheet that covered the Colonel and his pulse was racing. She had to get him to breath, to try to calm down but she knew it would be impossible. Daniel and Jack had known each other since the very first Star Gate mission. They had fought Ra together and destroyed him. She also knew from what Daniel had told her that Jack would have committed suicide on that mission. And she knew from the scattered rumors and reports that it was mainly because of Daniel that he hadn’t committed suicide. They had become like brothers – big brother/little brother syndromes, mind you but as close as brothers still.   
Oh, she would be the first to admit that he and Jack could argue worse than a married couple and there were a couple of times, without alien influence, that Daniel would have loved to beat the living crap out of Jack O’Neill and she felt sure that Jack felt the same way. But that was what was called friendship – best friends if you will. They were supposed to have these fights and arguments. It’s what made their friendship even stronger. But she knew that Daniel had always known, never doubted for a second that Jack would always be there for him. No matter what type of situation he got himself into – Jack would be there to get his butt out of it.   
Suddenly, Janet saw something that she couldn’t quite believe. A light. A really white bright light was filling the room. She called out to Daniel, screaming at him. Finally, not being able to ignore her any longer, Daniel looked up and saw the same thing that Janet did.  
Daniel had died but he didn’t remember seeing a white light. He had even told Jack that. But this was definitely a white light. Then the light began to dissipate and Daniel sat there with his mouth gaped and tears streaming down his face. This time from hope instead of despair.  
In front of Jack’s bed stood four very welcomed friends and if he hadn’t been there, he wasn’t so sure he would have believed it. Just maybe there was hope after all.   
QQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQ

Ok guys! I think we may see a little sun shining in our corner but I never know what Mr. Muse has planned so we shall see. Just hold on to hope.


	13. The Inner strength of friendship and love

The inner strength of friendship & love!

Daniel could not believe what he was seeing in front of him. He figured when he saw the light that maybe, just maybe Oma Desala had decided to pop in and see if Jack would consider ascension instead of dying and staying dead. He could have saved her the trouble – he knew Jack’s answer to that question. He had found it out himself when Ba’al had Jack. If Jack couldn’t be alive where he could actually help someone instead of just watching them, he would take death any day.  
But it wasn’t Oma that was standing in front of him. It was Thor and three others that he was very surprised to see. Janet looked as if she was going to pass out. When Daniel noticed it, he stood up and put his arm around her waist and pulled her closer to him. For a moment Janet’s breath was caught in her throat. Then she took it as it she assumed it was meant to be – a friend helping a friend.  
“Daniel Jackson, I just received word of what was transpiring here on your planet. I did not know this was happening or I would have been here sooner. We have been fighting another enemy and have not been close to your planet. It was when I contacted your base to speak with O’Neill that I was informed what was happening.”  
Thor looked at Daniel as if he was uncertain what to say next but Daniel took the initiative and allowed Janet to tell Thor what the was going on with Jack. Actually, it seemed as if the three guest who were with Thor had already assessed the situation and had taken matters into their own hands. Daniel watched as they gathered around the hospital bed, each standing with their hands in a different position and begin to whisper over Jack’s body. Janet started towards the bed but Daniel pulled her back, shaking his head at her.  
“Janet, they will not harm him. If anything they are trying to see if they can heal him…um completely.” Daniel said the words and couldn’t help the hope that bubbled up inside of him. These three people were the reason he, Jack and Sam had lived as long as they had. If it had not been for Lya, Anteaus, and Ohper they would have died almost seven years ago. His attention was soon caught again by Thor who was talking to him.  
“I have sent Bra’tac and Jacob to Teal’c. I hope they can assist in the rescue of Major Carter and your other friend. I believe his name is Reynolds. I have instructed them that as soon as the Nox have completed with O’Neill’s healing we will have a location for them.”  
Daniel looked at Thor as if he had missed something in the conversation. Was there something that Jack had figured out and that was why he was leaving the hotel room the morning he was shot? He and Teal’c had assumed that Jack just needed to get outside for a while. But maybe he had thought of something and didn’t want to say anything in the room for fear that the room was bugged.   
“Are you saying that Jack knows where Sam is? I don’t think that is possible. If he had known, he would have had her by now. Surely you understand what Jack’s team means to him, Thor. And Sam means even more. He wouldn’t leave Sam out there if he knew where she was."  
Daniel waited for Thor to explain what he meant as he picked up his coffee to take a swallow of the now luke-warm coffee.  
“Daniel Jackson, as we all know O’Neill has an ancient gene. Once, when the Ancients were here on earth, when they propagated with whomever they chose as their mate, it gave them the ability to know where their mate was whenever they thought of them. Because of their ancient gene, they never had to worry about trouble befalling their mate, because they could find them in time to save them. O’Neill should be able to find Major Carter since he has the ancient gene and they have consummated their relationship. Doesn’t that make them mates on your world?”   
Daniel didn’t mean to hit Thor with the coffee that came spewing out of his mouth as he choked on the information that Thor had just given them. Mates? Why the heck did Thor think Sam and Jack were mates? What did he mean they had consummated anything? Were the feelings that he and Teal’c have true? Was there something more between Jack and Sam then there was when they left the SGC seven days ago?   
Daniel looked at Janet and saw the same puzzlement on her face. Thor must have been mistaken because he knew how much of a straight line it was for Jack and Sam when it came to the rules and regulations of the military. Then Daniel got a really funny feeling in the pit of his stomach. He remembered something that caused goosebumps to rise on his arms. When Jack left the SGC, he was no longer involved with the Air Force. As a matter of fact, he was supposed to be on his way to Washington to be court-martialed.   
Of course everyone knew that General Hammond would have done what he could to have it cancelled knowing the circumstances and seeing that Sam really was in danger. But at the time, there was no doubt with what had transpired at the mountain that Jack was a wanted man. That he and Sam were no longer under the same chain of command. That he could pretty much do whatever he wanted to do with Major Carter.  
Janet looked at Daniel and saw his eyes go from confused to “holy Hannah” in about 10.2 seconds and she knew that somehow he had figured something out. She watched Thor as he cocked his head to one side as he too had watched Daniel. Finally giving up on getting anyone to tell her just what was going on, she pulled Daniel’s head towards her and commented right in his face.  
“Would you please tell me just what is going on!”  
Just as she asked that question, they both heard a noise and turned around to see that Jack’s heart monitor had started back with a better rhythm then he had since he had been admitted. Janet then watched while Thor tilted his head towards the three people standing beside Jack and they disappeared in a white light. He looked back at Daniel.  
“I did not want there to be unnecessary questions when the doctors came in, Daniel Jackson. Therefore, I felt it best if they were sent back to their planet while we wait for O’Neill’s strength to return. When it does we will have the answers we seek. It should take only four to six of your earth hours for him to be fully awake and energized once again.”  
Daniel half listened to what Thor was saying. He was still thinking about the events that may have transpired between two of his best friends. He watched Janet as she walked over to the hospital bed and did an assessment of Jack. Still full of unbelief as what had happened, she trailed her fingers over his body and her voice caught as she noticed that the wound from the bullet was completely healed. She shook her head more in shock then in disbelief.   
She knew the stories of the Nox. She had checked over SG1 completely when they had come back from the planet and had told the General what had transpired between them, Apophis and the Nox. Because they were in her infirmary, sitting on her stretchers full of life – she couldn’t fully grasp what they were telling her. Now she could. She had seen it with her own eyes. And to be frankly honest, it scared her to death.   
She glanced at Daniel and the depth of desire and passion she had for him was no longer concealed. She had actually lost him. Not just to ascension but to some hyped up lunatic that thought he was a god and went around shooting anyone who disagreed. “My god! How many times have I lost him and never told him how I truly felt.” She knew it was probably hopeful guessing that he would feel the same, especially after losing Shar’e. Was there a chance that he felt even the slightest thing for her? The thoughts ran unbidden through her mind.   
She finished checking Colonel O’Neill and then turned and walked back over to where Thor and Daniel were standing, edging a little closer to Daniel. She still couldn’t get over the fact that she had really lost him before she actually had seen him die. No more playing, if she wanted any chance of having what she craved then she had to step up and let the man know standing beside her know how she felt.  
Daniel seamed to still be in shock over what he had just discovered and figured out for himself. Could they know, have known all this time where Sam was but because Jack couldn’t say anything about what had transpired between him and Sam, he had blocked the ancient gene from doing its job. If this was true, Jack would hate himself even more than he does now.   
Janet continued to switch her gaze between Jack and Daniel. Daniel knew exactly what was going on and the thought of it was not looking good on his face. She watched him as he removed his glasses and put his fingers on the edge of his nose as thoughts raced in his head. He was trying to stop someone from feeling worse about this whole incident and she knew who. Then it dawned on her just what Daniel and Thor were getting at. Sam and Jack – better yet – Major Carter and Colonel O’Neil had crossed the imaginary line that lies between a CO and his 2IC. They had finally given in and allowed Jack and Sam to do what Colonel O’Neill and Major Carter knew was against all regulations. Moreover, Janet could tell that this was very troubling for Daniel. She reached over and took his other hand and squeezed.  
When Daniel felt his hand being held, he looked down and then looked up at the woman holding it. There was something different about her. Something that told Daniel that all the worrying he had done about whether he had a chance with this woman had been nothing but a waste of time. She had been waiting on him and him on her and they had wasted time that could have proven very limited in their line of work. He watched her eyes as they became dark and knew his were doing the same. He had a strange feeling that when all this was over and Sam was safe once more, he and this short but very independent lady would be having a long talk.  
“Good Morning, Campers! Now would someone please tell me just what the hell happened to me? And then the next thing I want to hear is that you know exactly where Sam..um.. Carte is or you wouldn’t be standing here around my bed!”  
They all three heard the voice coming from the bed and even Thor looked shocked as he realized that O’Neill had already awaken. This human seemed to constantly amaze him. Daniel rushed over to the bed where Jack was trying his best to sit up, followed closely by Janet and the “ever so take your time” Thor. Daniel watched Jack as he rubbed his hand over his chest where he knew the bullet had entered him and then he looked up at Janet, cocking his head to one side, he gave her a slight wink.   
“Doc, you didn’t bring any big honking needles did ya?”  
The relief flooded both Daniel and Janet when they heard his teasing manner but his next words made Daniel wish that he wasn’t going to have to tell him what Thor had informed him. He really didn’t know how Jack was going to take it. The fact that they knew he and Sam now had a more intimate relationship or that because of them not wanting anyone to know – he hadn’t realized that he could have saved Sam a lot sooner.  
“Well do you know where Carter……hey, Space Monkey – you don’t look so well, you ok Danny boy?”  
Even after dying and coming back, Jack couldn’t help but tease them with his nicknames that only he was allowed to call him. But even being teased didn’t help lessen the tension in the room and Jack could feel that something had transpired while he had been …..well dying.  
Thor stood quietly and watched with amazement at the humans that he had called friends for over five years. He knew the only reason O’Neill was already awake and alert was because of the love he had for Major Carter. He looked at Daniel and this other human. Doc is what O’Neill had called her. He knew her name was Janet Frazier. He knew also that she and Daniel had the same feelings for each other that O’Neill and Carter had. Humans really didn’t understand how valuable time was when it came spending it with the one you loved.  
QQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQ  
The sadness that had covered Teal’c like a second skin since he had left the hospital gave the hotel room an even drearier feel. Davis and Ferretti had both known that Jack was in critical condition when he had been transported to the hospital. General Hammond had confirmed that. But when Teal’c had come in, it felt like all hope had been sucked out of the room. If Teal’c seemed to have no faith, then no one did. Now with Barrett laying in the same hospital as Jack and Reynolds missing, the grimness of the situation was to the point of overwhelming.  
Teal’c stood in the middle of the hotel room and for someone who didn’t know him you would have thought his face was made of stone. However those who knew him, knew he was overjoyed to see Bra’tac. As he clasped forearms with his mentor and pulled him in for a chest hug, it actually looked as if tears were forming in his eyes. If anyone could help with the situation they were in, it was Bra’tac.   
Teal’c watched as Bra’tac stepped aside and allowed the other man entrance and Davis actually let out a low groan. Jacob stood in the doorway and the expression on his face told all the men in the room that he had already been apprised of the situation and that he was not a calm man at the moment. His daughter’s safe return was the number one thing on his mind and he would see to that. Then he had all plans to figure out just who the hell was behind this whole mess and let the father in him take care of them. George had already warned him that O’Neill was claiming rights to that first but O’Neill would just have to step behind him. Even Selmak was quiet because of the fury she herself was feeling due to Samantha’s capture.  
The two new men listened quietly as Ferretti explained everything that had happened that he had been apart of. They could see that he still blamed himself for Mathews being able to trick him and Colonel O’Neill to begin with but Jacob disagreed. This was no one’s fault except for the men who had planned the whole thing to begin with. Jacob also said that he had to agree with Jack, in order for it to have gotten this far there had to be someone high in the chain that had instigated it.   
Teal’c filled them in about what had happened in the underground garage with O’Neill and then Davis informed them about Mathews and Reynolds. Jacob kept glancing at Teal’c while Davis was talking. He knew how close the warrior was to Colonel O’Neill. He was amazed that Teal’c was sitting here in the hotel room instead of tearing up the city of Groom’s Lake in an attempt to find the men that had hurt his best friend.  
“What is the latest on O’Neill? Brat’ac asked the words that Jacob had been wanting to ask but wasn’t sure whether he wanted to know the answer. The two men had not known that Thor had commissioned help for the Colonel so to them O’Neill was still in the same shape that everyone sitting in this room thought he was in.   
“When I left the bedside of O’Neill, he was not doing good. His life was slowly leaving his body and Dr. Frazier was not in high spirits of his outcome.” Teal’c said the words and everyone in the room could feel the sadness that came out with them. This man had so much respect for O’Neill and thought of him as a brother more than a friend. Teal’c had known had it not been for the day he met O’Neill he would still be doing the will of Apophis or worse he would be dead. And with him dead – his people stood no chance to rival against the ones that claimed they were gods.  
He and O’Neill had been through so much. He shared secrets with O’Neill that no one knew about. He knew about his love for Major Carter. He also knew how much the Air Force meant to O’Neill and how much Carter’s career meant to him. He knew that in his right mind, O’Neill would never do anything to jeopardize Major Carter’s career. Teal’c had told O’Neill on countless times how stupid the law was that the Air Force had established concerning falling in love. How could they control the outcome of who someone feel in love with.   
O’Neill had argued with him about it so Teal’c had been quiet because he had known that as long as O’Neill was able to move, he alone would be the one to protect Carter as long as she went through the gate. He had never realized that the danger would hit Carter at home instead of some off world mission. He had been stubborn and refused to retire because he wanted to protect her wherever she went. And now she was missing and if O’Neill lived, Teal’c wasn’t sure if O’Neill could ever forgive himself.  
Unlike Daniel, Teal’c knew the minute he saw O’Neill’s face that he and Carter had joined together and finally mated. He could tell by the new look of love and concern on O’Neill’s face. He also knew because of the deep pain and torment that he had put on himself while he destroyed the two rooms. That had not been just a men missing a woman – that had been a man who had lost his soul mate. A man who had joined with his soul mate and had never planned on letting her go.  
Teal’c was jerked out of his thoughts by the ringing of his cell phone. When he saw that it was Daniel’s number a deep dread came over him and he answered the phone with trepidation. Was this the news he had been afraid of hearing? Had he lost another brother in arms to another enemy? This time one that was not a goa’uld but was just as evil?  
“Daniel Jackson, you have news concerning O’Neill?”  
QQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQ  
Reynolds fought with all the renewed strength he had in him. Even though he hated being put in that damn sarcophagus, he knew that each time he came out of it he was stronger. He may be losing part of himself each time but he was willing to allow that as long as he could remember enough to know that as soon as he got strong enough Sam had to be gotten out of here. His way of doing that was to beat the drug that made him keep his mouth shut.   
If he could convince her that he wasn’t O’Neill, she would have renewed strength and be able to hold out a little longer thinking that O’Neill was coming for her. He would never tell her that O’Neill wouldn’t be the one coming. Even if he wasn’t dead, he was in such bad shape that there was no way he would be the one coming to get her out of this maniac’s hands.   
Reynolds watched the two Jaffa’s as they waited for the sarcophagus to finish opening all the way. Before they had a chance to realize what had happened, Reynolds kicked one of them square in the solar plexus, knocking him completely off of his feet. The other one was taken by surprise when Reynolds hand shot up and slammed into his nose, causing the bone to go all the way into his skull, killing him instantly.   
Reynolds jumped out of the sarcophagus and had to steady himself from the rush of whatever high he was on. He felt this way each time he had come out of the damn thing but this time seemed to be a little stronger. He couldn’t recall just how many times he had been put in it but he knew he was getting close to the limit. He didn’t think he had reached O’Neill’s count yet but he was pretty sure he had already passed Daniel’s. Not passing judgement on Daniel because he knew his black ops training was the only thing that still kept him sane at the moment. As he stepped over the dead Jaffa, he slammed his boot into the neck of the other one. Hopefully he had damaged them both enough that their baby larvas would not be able to revive them.   
Reynolds knew that he was on limited time before someone came across the two goons he had left lying on the floor. He had to see if he could get to Carter without being caught. He also had to see if he could get the damn device they had put on him off so she would see who he really was. All he had been hoping for was not taking the drug that kept him from talking. He had never hoped that luck would hold out and he would be able to break free from the two guards.   
Reynolds knew that before when they had brought him back to the room where Major Carter was at, he had gone down some stairs and into several different hallways. He just hoped he could get to her without anyone seeing him. If he could get to her, hopefully she was still strong enough that she would be able to escape with him.   
He had seen what her body had looked like because the conceited s.o.b. had still denied her covering even when they had brought him to her room. He had tried to keep his eyes on her face but he had scanned her body when he had first come into the room to assess the situation and see if he could tell whether she had any broken bones.   
Although as far as he could tell no bones were broken, she had enough damage done to her that he could see that walking may prove to be very difficult. He would have to make that call when he got back to her. Reynolds knew some would make fun of him but he had also believed that no plan was successful without prayer to back it up and with his lips moving as fast as his legs were, he prayed to the one God that he knew could get them out of this or at least have help on the way to them. Because he knew deep in his gut that if he was caught this time, he would be killed and not brought back. He didn’t even want to think what would happen to Major Carter.   
Reynolds crept around the corner of the staircase that would lead him to the floor that Sam was on. He had not run into anyone as of yet but he knew the sick fake god would soon begin wondering what was keeping the two Jaffa that was sent to get him. He needed to be where Major Carter was before that happened. If he could get to her and get her off the table and somewhere to hide, they may just make it out of here.  
Reaching the bottom of the stairwell, he could hear Major Carter and with her voice it guided him to where he needed to go. She wasn’t screaming out in pain and for that he was glad. Reynolds believed that when they put him in the sarcophagus, that they doped Major Carter up so she wouldn’t have time to think about a way to get loose. Because this sick s.o.b. had to know that the Major would do everything in her power to get loose, even more so now that she thought he had the Colonel here. She would fight to get away more so she could save Jack then herself. Reynolds knew that because that is what he would do for Mary and he knew Jack would do it for Sam.  
No, what Reynolds heard coming from Sam Carter right now would make any service man proud. However, it would embarrass the daylights out of her if her father or General Hammond heard her using those words. She was letting someone know just what she thought of them, and this whole blasted situation. Then she went on to describe just what she knew Jack planned to do to them and the snake inside of them when all this was over. Reynolds believed that she was alone in the room due to the fact that he heard no one else. And if someone else had been in the room, he honestly believed he would have heard them gulp when Sam had started describing just what types of torture methods her Colonel O’Neill knew how to use. And she did say her Colonel O’Neill.  
Reynolds followed her voice, praying she wouldn’t stop screaming until he got to her room. It was a lot faster if he could go straight to her rather than have to look into every room. Finally, after what seemed like he had run a mile but it had only been about a thousand feet, he found her. Still bound to the bed. Still telling the world and anyone who would listen just what her plans were when she was finally able to get loose. Reaching in the wall, he pushed on the symbol of the snake and watched while the door slide open. And there she was. Not another soul in site and praying that it stayed that way, Reynolds rushed forward. He watched her eyes grow larger the closer he came to her and it dawned on him why.   
“Major Carter, I do not have time to explain. We have got to get out of here before that creep gets back in here. You are going to have to try to walk. I will help but if I have to carry you it will slow us down too much.” Reynolds wasn’t sure if his words were sinking in or not but then he knew they were when she got this confused look on her face.   
“But when did you get here? Ba’al is here and he has Jack! We cannot leave without Jack. You have to leave me and go find him. He has died too many times. If he dies again and they put him back in that awful thing, I will lose him. Albert, I am begging you. Not as a soldier but as a friend and a woman. Please go get Jack and you can come back for me after I know he is safe.”  
Tears were rolling down her face and you would have thought that her pupils were a blue sea with the unshed tears still in her eyes. Her whole body was trembling, and Reynolds knew she was going into shock. He knew that when she had called him by his given name instead of by rank or surname. He realized that he may have screwed up by removing the device that had made him sound and look like Jack O’Neill. Maybe it would have worked better to have let her think that it had been him getting her out of here instead of himself.   
“Major Carter, listen to me. Look at me. I am the one that was here. It was I who was hanging on the web. Sam, stop! Look at me! Look at my clothes. See the holes and the burn marks. The scars can heal the sarcophagus but the clothes are not made new.”  
Reynolds tried not to talk harshly to her but he had to make her understand. As long as Major Carter thought they were leaving Jack behind, he knew that he would never get her out of here. Finally, he stepped right up to the bed and turned her face more directly to him, calming his voice so she had to listen more.  
“Just look, and you will see. Now we have got to get you out of here. And I promise you, I will have you to Jack as soon as I can.”  
Reynolds soon found the switch that controlled the arm and leg mechanisms that had Major Carter held to the table. He removed his shirt, knowing there wasn’t much of it left that didn’t have a hole but figured it was at least something to cover her with. He helped her sit up and move her legs to the edge of the table. Sam slid off the table and put her weight on her legs and just as her knees started buckling, it dawned on Reynolds that this wasn’t going to work. Damn, he had forgotten just how long she had been here. If she had been tied to this table, the whole time that lunatic had her there was no way she was going to be able to walk out of here. Her legs would never be able to hold her until she got the strength back in them from being out of use for seven days if not eight.  
“I can’t do this. You are going to have to leave me and go get help. I cannot walk out of here and like you said it is going to slow you down too much if you have to carry me.”  
“Major Carter, how dare you even suggest that. There is no way I am walking out of this building without you. We don’t leave our people behind, remember. Not only that – I wouldn’t dare leave you here another minute with that sick bastard.’  
Reynolds looked around the room hoping there was something that they could use to make this easier but there wasn’t – he was going to have to carry her. Well, if nothing else, maybe he could get her to a place where they could hide until help arrived. Because even after all this time he never doubted that help would arrive.  
Reynolds looked at Sam and knew she was fighting a battle. The pain was etched all over her face and she looked like she may have been coming down from a high. He had hoped that she was on a high. That would have given her the adrenaline she needed to do this. But her coming down, it was going to be hard, very hard.  
“Sam look at me. I need you to understand just how grim this is. If we get caught again, there will be no saving us. I know from looking at you that you are in pain and I don’t even want to imagine what all has been done to you but you have got to hold on and work with me. Sam, listen to me. I am not going to carry you in my arms but I am going to help you walk. I believe that would be faster. You remember how we do this, right. I will get as close to you as I can and you are going to lean on me and we are going to get out of here. Together we can do this, and I promise I will do everything in my power to get you to Jack.”  
Reynolds grabbed a strap and tied it around Sam’s waist and with one hand clutching that in the back he begins to walk back towards the stairs. He had thought of somewhere for them both to hide and hopefully help Sam in the process. But getting there would be very tricky, if not suicidal but he had to try because in the shape she was in, he knew there would be no way he would get her out of this place alive.  
“Jack, man I hope you are doing a lot better because if you’re not, there is no way she is going to make it. Teal’c buddy, I need you man. God if there is any way you can let him know where we are, please let him know. I cannot do this on my own.”  
With those thoughts running through his mind and his lips moving in silent prayer, Reynolds headed back to the room where he had left the dead Jaffa.


	14. Fearing the truth, Protecting the love!

Fearing the truth, protecting the love  
Jack would not accept the fact that he knew all along where Carter was. There was no way, he insisted, because if he knew he would have been busting down doors and killing the bastards that had taken her. She sure as heck would not have been gone this long. Thor tried to make him understand and Jack and Daniel ended up in a “yes you do” and a “no I don’t” argument.   
“Jack, you have to listen to Thor. He knows what he is talking about. Don’t you get it. You have the ancient gene. You and Sam have a more than professional relationship, although that is new to me. You have to hone in on that and her location will come to you. I am sure of it.”  
“Oey, oh you’re sure of it are you? Well I sure don’t remember you telling me this six days ago when you got here. I sure don’t remember telling you or anyone else that I had any kind of relationship with my Major except a professional one. Damn Daniel don’t you know what would happen to Carter if crap like that got out? She already has to put up with people thinking she slept her way up to where she is. Why would you think I would jeopardize her career?”  
Janet knew Daniel and Jack both were getting frustrated. She needed to put a stop to this but she herself couldn’t help but admit that she was just a little intrigued as to what their relationship had become. Besides, even knowing the frat regs and such, if it would save Carter’s life to be sure Jack would admit to it and then deal with the circumstances later. But looking at him, she had to wonder if he even remembered what had happened between him and Carter before she was taken.  
Could it be possible that with all the drama surrounding Sam’s kidnapping and Jack being shot and dying, that his memory chose to forget the times they shared together before the pain and suffering? If this was the case, then there was not going to be anyway Jack would help them find Sam and she needed to let Thor know this. If they get Carter back, it will have to be Thor’s doings. Unless she could get Jack to remember. If she could get him to retell the events leading up to Sam missing, maybe just maybe they had a chance.  
The argument became even more intense between Jack and Daniel and soon Janet was pushing Daniel out of the door and telling him to go back to the hotel, she would call him when Jack was ready to go there. Even as the door closed, Jack threw an “I do not” back at Daniel and she gave him a stern look which he took to heart and looked like a five-year-old child being reprimanded. He then looked over at Thor and Thor looked back at him in amazement.  
“I really do not know what you are talking about. Thor buddy has your mind completely started shutting down?”  
Daniel walked out of the room but instead of leaving, he walked down to the waiting room and called Teal’c. He couldn’t wait to inform him of what had happened at the hospital and what Thor had said. Inside Daniel had this funny feeling that Teal’c had known all the time what Thor had suggested but if he did, then why didn’t Jack want to admit it?  
“Colonel O’Neill, I understand why you must protect Major Carter, but I do not understand why you are denying that you and she have become mates. I do not believe that you would have jeopardized Major Carter just to have….”  
Thor was cut off by Jack before he could finish his sentence. He rubbed his hands angrily across his face and through his hair. Jack looked completely annoyed about the whole conversation. Janet decided it was time for her to see if she could figure out just what was going on in his mind.  
“Colonel O’Neill, can you tell me what the last thing is you remember before you got shot?”  
“Well, yeah Doc. Space Monkey, T and I were going through the parking garage. I had left the hotel room in need of some fresh air and maybe just do a little looking around for myself. Daniel and T decided that they needed to come with me. The next thing I know, it felt as if a 302 had slammed into and right out of my chest and I woke up here.”  
“Okay let’s go a little further back. What is the last thing you remember about you and Major Carter coming to and arriving at Area 51?”  
“Com’on Doc, you know I am not supposed to be here with Carter. But I had to. I told everyone at that mountain that Carter was not coming here alone. Ferretti was fine. I didn’t mind the General sending him but then he was supposed to leave her here – alone – by herself after 24 hours. Heck – do you know who was involved in all this crap? Were you even told that that sick swarmy creep Kinsey was going to be here with her? I came up here because there was no way I was leaving her alone. I had planned on staying in the background and not letting her know I was here but then she heard me on the plane. And well, shoot you know how dang blasted smart Carter is. She had it all figured out by the time she got up out of her seat and I was coming out of the cockpit.”  
Jack took another deep breath and rubbed his face again. He was looking tired again and Janet was concerned on whether or not to push the issue but she knew she had to find out what Jack remembered. If this was their only way of finding Carter, then they had to push.  
“Well after we landed, I told Ferretti to go on back to Cheyanne Mountain and tell General Hammond where I was. I figured he most likely knew anyway. It was better to get it out in the open and solve everything once I knew for sure that Carter was gonna be ok. He was supposed to call me when he and Mathews got back to the airport and was on their way. You know, come to think of it, I never heard anything from him that night. That just dawned on me. When he showed up at my hotel room, I didn’t even connect the dots that Mathews was one of the ……oh my God I am so gonna kill him when I see him again! I swear I will beat him to death until he tells me where Carter is!! I cannot believe he shot me, not after all the times I dragged his butt out of danger.”  
“Ok, let’s get away from that for a minute. When you and Sam got to the hotel, what did you do then? I need to know everything – from the time you checked in until you realized that Sam had disappeared. This is very important, Colonel so don’t leave anything out, no matter what.”  
Jack looked at Doc and could tell that there was something going on. He had thought that Daniel had just assumed something had happened between him and Carter but had something happened? Could it be possible that maybe there was something more to his relationship with his second in command that he didn’t want to admit out loud?   
“Did you and Major Carter stay in the same hotel?”  
Janet asked the question that she already knew the answer to but Jack knew that she didn’t ask the one she wanted to. She really wanted to ask – did they share the same hotel room. The answer was no. He had his room and she had hers. They had talked about them staying in the same room and Jack had told Sam he would see – well he had shaken his head yes but while taking his shower he had realized the implications of what might darn well happen with no one else there but him and her. After his shower he had walked back over to her room to see where she wanted to eat and to tell her he had changed his mind about staying with her. It just wasn’t possible. And it wasn’t because of her. He knew he wouldn’t be able to control his own self.   
He told this to Janet. Just like it had happened. He took a breath and continued because he could tell she was still waiting to hear more. My gosh, what were they hoping for – he and Carter had only been in the room for one day before she was taken. There wasn’t much time from when the plane landed until it was time for her to go to bed so she could go to Area 51 the next morning. And that was the morning she had disappeared, wasn’t it? Ok now he was starting to question himself and he didn’t like that.  
“Come’n Doc – do you need everything? I mean this has got to be boring – we weren’t even in the hotel for a full 24 hours!”  
Doc looked at him. Was he mistaken about how long they had been together before she had disappeared.   
“Jack, Sam had been to Area 51 already before the day she was taken. Don’t you remember. She called me the first night after she got back and told me about the artifact she had been working on. It was the second day she was at Area 51 that you realized she was missing.”  
Jack looked at Doc even more confused. Now he wanted to tell her everything that had happened since they had landed because if she was correct, something was definitely wrong.   
“After I showered, I walked back over to Carter’s room and got pissed at her for opening the door without checking to see who it was. I was saying something to her about not taking things so lightly just because we were together when my phone rung. It was Teal’c so we talked for a while and when I hung up I noticed that she had walked out on the balcony – the one place I told her not to be. I swear she is a hard headed woman. I went to the balcony and started to say something when I realized that she was talking to that ...that… well that thing she was engaged to. He said something and I could tell it had upset her. The next thing I knew she was crying and I was holding her. I think I was trying to get her to calm down and then ……………………. oh for crying outloud!”  
Janet watched Jack’s face and she knew it the minute the realization hit him. He had remembered. He had remembered everything. She wasn’t sure why he had even blocked it unless it was the fact that he couldn’t allow himself to feel that much for someone if he was going to have to lose them. She had heard of cases like this. When a person lost someone – a child, spouse or sometimes even a close friend and they went through the drama of maybe losing another person they loved – they would cut everything out of their memories that would cause them to have a deeper love for that person then was normal.   
Jack had pushed everything that he and Sam had experienced out of his mind when the realization had dawned on him that he may have lost Carter for good. It was a self-preservation tactic to keep himself from hurting too much or maybe even from killing himself. Jack had made himself deny anything that may have brought him happiness with Carter when he couldn’t find her. Oh, he still loved her and he proved that with the amount of damage he had done but his mind wouldn’t allow him to find the peace that she had also shown love to him.   
Thor looked at O’Neill and nodded his head. It was time to go find Major Carter. If O’Neill had finally remembered that he and Carter were now mates, then they could be saved without Thor having to interfere and causing the Goa’uld to retaliate against earth. Because Thor knew where Major Carter was. He had known all along. But he also knew who had her and although Ba’al was not high enough on the list to cause too much worry from the system lords, if Thor got involved and something happened to Ba’al, then the system lords could retaliate and claim that Thor had broken the treaty. So it was best for O’Neill to figure this one out and if he couldn’t do it on his own – he would give him some hints. Nothing wrong with that. A little thing he had learned from his Tau’ri friend.   
Jack looked at Thor. He knew where she was and he knew how to get to her. He had known all along but now wasn’t the time to worry about that. Now was the time to go get her and kill the bastards that had taken her. Then he would do what he needed to get her home and healed. Then he would berate himself on what a fool he had been. But not now – now he was going after his Samantha and God help the soul of the man who got in his way.  
“Doc, since I know that he doesn’t listen to you any better than he does me, would you please walk out in the hall and tell Daniel to come back in here so we can get a plan going. I need to get a message to Teal’c and Reynolds and let them know where to meet us at.”  
Janet walked out into the waiting room and got Daniel. She told him he was going to have to tell Jack about Reynolds. “Will the bad news ever stop today?”, Daniel thought to himself. He had forgotten that Jack didn’t know about Reynolds, Mathews or Barratt. But at least now they had a chance to get Sam back and Daniel swore to himself that if anybody anywhere in this whole chain of command mess said anything about Jack and Sam finally coming together after this- he swore he would go shot them himself and he usually tried not to be a violent man but this regs crap was ridiculous.   
While Janet was gone, Thor confessed to Jack that he knew who had Carter but he did not go into any details.  
“O’Neill there is one more thing I must tell you. It is a Goa’uld that has Major Carter. That is why I cannot interfere. It is one you have faced before so do not allow your past fears to cloud your judgement. You can get her back and save your other friend also.”   
“What other friend? Who else has been taken? Thor buddy you need to talk to me!”  
Daniel stood outside the hospital door with his glasses in one hand and pinching the bridge of his nose with the other. He had heard Jacks question. “Oh well here we go. Every time someone needs to be told someone – they send ole Danny boy in to do the talking.”   
QQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQ  
Teal’c listened to the words that Daniel Jackson was telling him. He couldn’t believe that once again the Nox had come to his brother’s rescue and that O’Neill was alive and as ornery as ever. Daniel told him what Thor had said and Teal’c grunted his agreement that there was something more between his two comrade in arms then there was before they left the mountain together. Why O’Neill was afraid to admit this was because of the same reason that Teal’c had complained about since he had known the two of them. Love cannot be stopped. Everyone should know this. Now there was no stopping it and Teal’c had to admit he was glad.   
The next phone call he received was from his brother in arms. He was relieved to hear his voice and for once everyone in the room could see it on his face. Yes, he would be ready and so would Jacob and Bratac. He could see from the looks of their faces that there would be no stopping Davis or Ferretti either. He gave the phone to Davis and Jack told him where they needed to meet at. He and Daniel were leaving the hospital right away. Once they got Sam away from whomever had her and they assessed whether she could travel they would be taking her straight to Cheyanne Mountain. General Hammond had made it plain that they were not to stop at any other medical facility but to take her straight to Cheyanne. Janet would be waiting at the airport so that she could assist with whatever medical help may be needed for Sam or Reynolds.  
“General Hammond has made it plain that we are not to let no more people know then is necessary that we have gotten Carter and Reynolds. He feels this would be best and keep us all safe a little longer.” Jack took a deep sigh and his next words were for Teal’c only. “Oh and T my man. It sure is good to hear your voice again, my friend.” O’Neill said the words and Daniel could tell that he choked as he said them. The friendship between Teal’c and O’Neill was stronger than anything Daniel had ever seen.   
“Indeed, my friend.” Was Teal’cs only reply but even he choked on the simple words.   
QQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQ  
Sam held onto Reynolds as tight as she could and tried to hold her own weight but she knew she was getting heavier and heavier. He was losing ground by trying to get her out with him but she had stopped arguing with him because it was taking too much effort to try to walk and talk at the same time. The man was almost as stubborn as Jack was. Her whole body felt as if it was being ripped apart and she hated to admit it but she would have given anything for one of those morphine pumps that Janet loved to use on the base when the teams would come back injured. She just wanted to stop and rest for a minute but she knew they couldn’t.  
She knew that Reynolds was trying to get her somewhere safe where they could hide out until help came. He had told her this over and over. He kept saying help was coming. That somehow Teal’c or Ferretti or someone would figure out where they were and come get them. She had noticed a while back when he had kept assuring her of this, that he had never once mentioned Jack. He had never yet told her that Jack was going to be coming. But surely Jack would not leave it to someone else to come find her. She knew him too well. Jack would tear down every building in Nevada until he found her. So why everyone else except for Jack. She remembered Reynolds telling her back in the room that if she would just trust him he would get her to Jack – not that Jack would come to her. Then something cold ran through her blood and she stopped in her tracks almost causing Reynolds to fall over.  
“Sam, what is it? I know you are hurting but we cannot stop. I almost have you to where we need to be. It is our only chance on getting you out of here alive. You are too weak to keep going but we have to……. Sam, why are you looking at me like that?”  
He had stopped calling her Major Carter awhile back. It just didn’t seem like protocol on names or ranks was that big of an issue right now in this place and in the condition that they were in. If chain of command found out and wanted to do something about it – well by then he’d be happy to let them if it earned him a good long rest!  
But right now he didn’t like the look on her face. Something had dawned on Sam and Reynolds was afraid he knew what he was. He had messed up.   
“What’s wrong with Jack? Why is Jack not coming to get me? Why do you keep saying everyone else besides Jack?”  
He knew it. The minute she asked the questions, he knew he was going to have to tell her. She had said he was as stubborn as Jack but she was wrong. Her and Jack tied for that position. He wouldn’t get her to move another step until he told her what had happened to Jack. So he did. He waited for the reaction he knew was coming but was a little surprised when it turned out different then he thought. Instead of her giving up, the fact that Jack was hurt, maybe even dying and lying somewhere without her seemed to spear her on. She seemed to grab power from some unknown force and he could not help but be amazed at what love for someone could make a person do.   
Sam knew when they rounded the corner and she saw the golden coffin sitting in the middle of the room what Reynolds had planned. He was going to use the sarcophagus to hide them in and while they were hiding it would energize and heal her. These guys of hers had brain smarts that would measure up to hers any day whether they wanted to admit it or not. This would work. They would make it and she would get to her Jack and he would be fine. Nothing would be lost and when they got back to Cheyanne mountain, she was putting in her papers. She could find something else to do that she loved. She would not waste another minute without the man she loved.   
Just as Reynolds helped her sit on the floor so he could open the sarcophagus, she heard the laughter and hope seemed to die in her all over again. Reynolds turned just as a staff blast fired and almost caught him right in the chest. If he hadn’t jumped when he did, he would have been dead. Sam knew that he had been correct. If he died this time – there would be no coming back.   
“You idiot! Do not kill him yet. I still may want to play with him some more.” Ba’al snarled the words at the serpent guard who had fired the staff weapon and Sam watched him as he walked towards Reynolds. If she could only get enough energy she may be able to catch him off guard. However, Ba’al saw her moving and before she knew what was happening he had the ribbon devise aimed right at her forehead. She felt the hot searing pain as it tore into her mind. The thoughts and memories and the pain was so overwhelming she could feel herself losing the battle to fight. But she didn’t want to give in. She had to see Jack one more time. She couldn’t let him die without him knowing how much he meant to her. Had she told him enough when they were together those two days? Did he have any doubt at all how she felt about him?  
Reynolds tried to get over to her to push her out of the way but he was caught off guard by one of the serpent guards. When he when to stand up, another slammed his foot into his chest and Reynolds had to catch his breath before he could move. Before he knew it, he was being used as a kick ball but all he could think of was getting to Sam before Ba’al killed her with that hand device. Had they come this far just to die? He wouldn’t accept that. There was no way under heaven he would accept that.   
Sam’s mind was almost gone but she heard the words that Reynolds said out loud. Just like everyone else on the base knew, Sam knew that Reynolds was a praying, believing man and right now she heard his words and said them to herself. “Oh God, Please God give us someone. Send someone. Don’t let this evil win.’  
“That’s right Taur’i, call out to me! Finally admit that I am your god and I will let you die now without any more torture. Just say it one more time.”  
Reynolds heard Ba’als words and laughter and he wanted so bad to tell the demon that he wasn’t calling on him – he was calling on the only true God there was. He had noticed that Sam had fallen over, passed out from the pain of the ribbon device. He knew that Ba’al would start back the minute she would wake up again.   
He prayed that God would give him the power to show this snake head creep just what he could do if given the chance. And just like that, before Reynolds could pray another word, he heard the one voice he least expected to hear in this pit of hell. Reynolds actually wondered why he imagined God’s voice sounding like Jack O’Neill’s until he was able to open his eyes and see him standing there with the whole gang around him. He couldn’t help it. He actually started laughing. Even though the laughter caused the pain in his ribs to multiply, he couldn’t stop. He laughed until the pain was so unbearable that he passed out. Jack was the last thing Reynolds saw before he closed his eyes and gave into the pain that consumed his body.


	15. I will never lose you, my Samantha

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When you cried, I’d wipe away all of your tears,  
> When you screamed, I’d fight away all of your fears.  
> I held your hand through all of these years and you still have …..all of me!

I will never lose you, my Carter….

Robert Kinsey knew how to manipulate people. He always had. Even as a small child, it did not take any effort at all from him to end up with everything he wanted – whether he had been told no or not. He wasn’t this way because his parents neglected him and thought to bribe him with gifts and money instead of attention and love. No he was this way because that was who he was and he came into the world manipulating his mother from the beginning. She lavished over her son, thinking he could do no wrong. And while in her eyes it seemed he didn’t – it wasn’t so in other’s eyes.   
Bobby Kinsey also learned early in his teen years how to make it seem it was always another person’s bad influence that got him in the wrong position at the wrong time. It didn’t take him long to learn that if you are going to do something crooked always have a scapegoat handy. He used that scapegoat to take all the blame while he would walk away smelling like a fresh set of washed towels that had been doused with snuggle.   
With this knowledge and the ability to manipulate people, it wasn’t long before Senator Robert Kinsey was standing side by side with the President of the Unites States of America – President Henry Hayes. Standing there looking all innocent even though pure evil ran through his veins. Standing there as the Vice President of the United States, he assumed that it wouldn’t take long before he would be the one being sworn in as President. No one was a friend of his – they were just stepping stones to get where he wanted to go in life and to get what he wanted to have in life.  
Of his three children, only one spoke to him. The other two – one son and his only daughter he had discarded as used trash after their last conversation one afternoon. That was the day he was accused of having General Hammond black balled to leave the SGC. But there was no prove that he had anything to do with it. However, his children’s comments to his wife was the last thing he heard from them and good riddance was all he had to say. “Threatening a man by kidnapping his grandchildren. We want nothing to do with him or his corrupt ways.” was their parting comment that afternoon. He watched them depart with not even a despairing look as he turned his attention to the reporters who stood outside his home and asked him about his upcoming run for President. How dare them judge him. He was above reproach by any human being. As long as he drew breath, then God obviously thought what he did was correct and God was his only judge.  
There was just one thorn in Vice President Kinsey’s side that he could not seem to get rid of. No matter what he did, it remained there. It grew and festered until it became ugly and red. It had been a part of him for the past seven years and no matter what he did to try and get rid of it, nothing worked. And what bothered Robert Kinsey the most about this thorn was that he could not manipulate it or convince it that it was best to come to his point of view. He wanted this thorn out of his way because as long as this thorn stood in his way he could never hope to have the priceless treasure that this thorn was guarding.   
And he wanted this priceless treasure more than he wanted anything in life – including his wife, his dog, his remaining son and his grandchildren. With this treasure he could rule the world and beyond. If only he could get rid of this blasted thorn. No matter what he tried – it didn’t work. The stubborn thing remained, growing and festering even more. He had thought surely he had gotten rid of it before but it kept coming back, rearing its head just in the places he didn’t want to see it. Always stopping him from achieving his goal.  
The thorn that made his life a living hell was none other than Colonel Jonathan “Jack” O’Neill. The one person in the world that no matter what he tried to do, if O’Neill was around it just didn’t work out the way he wanted it to. The only time he was able to use O’Neill to his advantage is when the NID decided it was time to get rid of him. Having O’Neill stand beside him in front of the press made the world look at him in a different light and it completely ate up the insides of O’Neill.  
But no matter what he did, he could not get O’Neill and his precious SG1 away from the Star Gate. His one chance of ruling the entire universe. The man seemed to have more lives than any cat ever had. Kinsey had put enough on him that he should be spending the rest of his life in Leavenworth, had arranged for him and his team to be lost off world, out in space or just killed but no matter what he did – it just didn’t work and the SGC remained in the control of people who thought O’Neill was the best thing around.  
Kinsey had stood in the back ground and watched plans unfold that he had put together and cursed the fools that caused them to fall apart. He had used Harry Maybourne several times and each time had ended up lost – with Maybourne actually ending up in prison himself for a while until O’Neill helped him escape and he was off to God knows where.  
Then there was Frank Simmons. He thought he had him together until the idiot actually went and got himself killed by the same goa’uld that they were going to use to take over the SGC. The NID were no better – always failing at every attempt no matter what it was.  
Robert Kinsey was a lot of things and a patient man was one of them. He had made that clear the day he had shown up at the SGC for the appropriations hearing to shut down the Star Gate. His real purpose was to have it where he could control the goings and comings. It hadn’t worked there but he had almost succeeded when he had the second gate in working order and the NID was controlling it. But like always, there was O’Neill and the blasted SG1 to overthrow his good plans and he had gotten rid of a lot of good men that day to keep his name from coming out in the open.  
Now his latest stunt had him sitting in front of Hayes, the JCS and the commander of the SGC. They were looking at him like he was a convicted felon. However, they could look at him with all the accusing eyes they wanted to but they would never find not a scrap of evidence against him. He had succeeded in doing the same thing he always did. He had used someone else as the scapegoat. He didn’t bother him in the least that two men would take the fall for what he had orchestrated.   
Now there was Lt Col Bert Samuels and Richard Woolsey. Kinsey was only using Woolsey to try to find a reason – any reason – to completely discredit SG1, mainly O’Neill. But Samuels, oh Samuels he had been able to manipulate like a hand held puppet. Even back at the very beginning when he tried to shut down the SGC, Samuels was by his side. Knowing that SG1 may well have been on one of the Goa’uld mother ships just caused Samuels to want to blow them up even more.  
Samuels and Woolsey had been used, Woolsey more so than Samuels. Samuels had known from the beginning that he was into something dirty but he didn’t care. He was as jealous of O’Neill as Kinsey was. Samuels had already gotten blood on his hands. He after all had shot Mathews when they were supposed to be bringing him here to talk to the JCS. Now he was in the underground making sure that Carter and Reynolds would not escape. And should this Goa’uld named Ba’al should decide he didn’t want him around – it wouldn’t be any big problem to get rid of him.   
Woolsey however, had gotten in the middle of everything because he had really thought that the SGC was doing something dirty and O’Neill was the main man behind it. It seemed however that he has found out the truth just a little too late. Now he was on the outside looking in, but Kinsey still had enough on him to make him sweat.   
Kinsey also knew that the only other one besides Samuels that actually knew any and all of his plans had been shot. And it wouldn’t take much to do the same with Samuels and Woolsey. When the prying eyes sitting in front of him started going through all of the paperwork, they would never find a scrap of paper, a video, a text or a message that stated his name or even hinted at him in anyway. He would get out of this just like he always had. All he would need to do is wait like he has been doing. God would see him through this – after all God took care of good American men and he was the top of the list. He would come out of this just like he had everything else.  
There was a good thing finally. According to all the rumors, he had finally gotten rid of Jack O’Neill and for that alone, celebration was indeed called for. He had also heard that Carter may well be dead by now and that would just put the topping on the cake. He could handle sitting here with accusing eyes watching him, knowing that at last he had gotten rid of that thorn that had bothered him for so long. He already had everything fixed so that Samuels would be the one to take the fall for it and unless he had gotten smart in the past week, he had nothing to show that Robert Kinsey was a part of the plan.  
QQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQ  
Jack was in the room just as the blinding light took away whomever had been in there with the hand device. He knew it had been a Goa’uld but he didn’t catch which one. All he had eyes on at the time was the two bundles that looked more like a couple of piles of rags then humans. Teal’c had already taken care of the two Jaffa that had been using Reynolds for a punching bag. When he glanced back at Jack, his expression said it all about how bad off Reynolds was. He needed to get medical treatment fast.   
Jack started towards Carter but something brushed past him before he had a chance to go very far and he realized it was Jacob. As bad as he wanted to hold her, he knew he had to allow her father first rights. He also knew that Carter still had a reputation in the military and he had no intention of screwing that up. He wasn’t worried about what was said in the hospital room – he knew Doc would keep it in their personal files and it would become doctor/patient confidential. As for as Daniel and Teal’c went, he knew that he could trust them more than any other living soul. The same way he could trust Carter.  
It wasn’t his career he was worried about. He had already damaged that beyond repair but he wouldn’t let Carter suffer just because he decided to go weak and do something they both had been trying to get away from for 7 years. Like everything else between them – the two days spent in the hotel room would be locked up in the same little room and the key buried.  
“Jack, we need to get them to Doctor Frazier as soon as possible.” He heard the words that Daniel was saying and he tried to focus on him but all he saw was the body that Jacob held in his arms. She hadn’t moved at all, even when her father called her name and brought his arms around her to hold. She hadn’t said a word and those blue oceans of hers hadn’t even attempted to open. Fear clutched at Jack’s stomach and he didn’t care who was beside her. He had to get to Carter – to his Samantha.  
Jacob saw Jack out of the corner of his eye and knew the thoughts that was passing through his mind. He was thinking the same thing as he checked Sam’s wrist for a pulse and then moved his fingers to her pulse point on her neck. By this time Jack was beside him on the floor and had grabbed Sam, trying to be careful of any injuries but he had to see. He had to make sure he hadn’t waited too late. He pushed hard against her neck and finally he let out a breath and looked over at Jacob. He couldn’t stop the tears that rolled down his checks as he confirmed to Jacob that there was a pulse though a very weak one.   
Jack looked over at the sarcophagus that sat in front of him and almost decided to put Carter and Reynolds in it. But something crawled at the back of his mind and he really didn’t know how many times either one of them may have already been subjected to it. He couldn’t risk losing either of them to the damn alien device – not now that he had found them. Had finally found Carter and held her safe in his arms. Jack stood up with Carter in his arms while Teal’c slung Reynolds over his shoulders and together with Daniel and Jacob they headed back outside where the others were waiting.  
“Teal’c, did you happen to see who was in the room before we got there – did Daniel or you see which system lord it was?” Jack asked the question as he literally ran with Sam up the steps, praying that Doc would be able to do what needed to be done and that she would make it back to Cheyanne mountain. He understood the General not wanting anyone to know about him being alive and having Carter – after all they really didn’t know who was all in with Kinsey (never gonna change my mind about that one, he thought to himself).  
“No I did not O’Neill but I can indeed tell you who it was. The symbols on the Jaffa left behind proves who they belonged to. Ba’al was the one behind the torturing of Carter and Reynolds.” Teal’c stated matter of fact and Daniel knew he was correct. That was one reason he pushed Jack to get Carter and Reynolds and them leave as soon as possible. He was hoping Jack wouldn’t ask until they were in the sky headed home. He knew the bad blood between the two and someone would die this time.  
“What!!” Jack spun around so quick that Jacob thought for a minute he was going to lose but he saw how tight the grip was that Jack had on Sam. Jacob realized in that instant that there was no hiding the feelings that Jack O’Neill had for his daughter.   
George had told him on the phone about the whole incident that had happened at the SGC and he had made it plain that Jack had left the mountain under the knowledge that once he walked out of the gate – he would be court marshaled. This man holding his daughter had thrown away (in some’s eyes) his military career for his 2IC. They would not see that he had made the decision he made because he had known her life was in danger. They would be so quick to judge and turn their back on all that this man and his team had done for the Country in just the seven years, not to mention what he had done before then.   
But by god if he had anything to do with it, it damn sure wouldn’t go down like that! His daughter’s happiness was the most important thing in his life and Selmak had told him when she had first seen Sam and Jack together that they were meant to be soulmates. And as he had learned in the 5 years as the host of Selmak – you never argue with a woman, especially one who had lived for over 200 years. When they got back to the SGC and Sam was able to talk again, all of this would be taken care. Jack would not be going down for some rotten people who sit high up above everyone else. But first he had to make sure his little girl was going to be alright and by the looks of it, his faith was wavering.   
He could see Jack whispering into Sam’s ear. He had arranged her so she was more or less sitting on his side with her head on his shoulder. Jack’s lips were constantly moving, and Jacob could see the lines of frustration and worry all over his face and it caused Jacob to remember just how much older Jack was then Sam. He would never hold that against anyone. Age made no difference in love – he knew that from his wife. She had been 15 when she had married his 30-year-old butt and she died still loving him. All he could hope for Sam was the same love he had had with her mother. He just kept praying that death would not cheat her out of it.  
When they reached the top of the stairs, Jack raced towards the SUV that was waiting for them. He listened to Daniel tell Davies what all was underground and Davis made it plain that the NID and the Air Force would be here in a matter of minutes to access the things in the building but not before they were gone. Davis knew that Barrett would want to be a part of the investigation but he doubted that President Hayes would wait that long. Jack looked over at Teal’c and saw him lay Reynolds down in the back of the SUV. He saw Doc as she leaned over him. Jack was glad now that they had decided to go ahead and bring her with them.   
Janet Frazier was not someone to play around with. She was after all a barely 5-foot stick of dynamite that loved needles. She also loved the people she worked with and there was nothing nowhere that going to stop her from going with Jack to wherever Sam and Col. Reynolds was. She had stated that it just made sense. Why should they have to wait for her to treat them if she could do it the minute they found Sam and Reynolds. Jack finally gave in, although he made it plain that she was to stay with him at all times. Teal’c had raised his eyebrow and made it clear that he agreed with Janet when he gave his thoughts on the matter. His thoughts “Indeed, that does make sense.” Finally, everyone was in the vehicles and they were racing for the private airstrip where President Hayes had a plane waiting.   
The Air Force Medevac plane (nicknamed the flying emergency room) was seating on the Tarmac waiting for them when they got to the private airstrip and the two vehicles unloaded. Daniel caught his breath and prayed that Jack would not see who Bratac had by the arms, literally dragging him towards the plane. When Daniel realized that Samuels had seen Jack and realized he was alive, he looked like there was no tomorrow waiting for him. When he saw Jack he knew that his whole life would be gone in just a matter of minutes. Had it not been for Jack’s full attention being on Carter, he would have been correct but that was the only thing that saved his life at the moment.   
By the time they were all on the plane, Janet had started an I.V. Reynolds. Reynolds had regained consciousness and wanted to talk to Jack but Doc refused to let him. She was worried about him and Jack knew it, so he told Reynolds to wait a little longer and as soon as Doc said he was good then Jack would be all ears. Jack had seen the bruises that covered Reynolds torso and couldn’t believe that the man was even able to breath. All the ribs on his left side had to be busted and it looked as if his right shoulder was completely pulled out of socket. He had a goose egg on the back of his head that had to be next to excruciating and his nose looked as if it had been beaten by a sledge hammer.  
Looking over at Sam, Jack felt anger more than anything else rise up inside of him. His beautiful Samantha, laying there with her face so distorted from the cuts, bruises and swelling that you could barely tell if she even had a face. He had noticed that all she had on was Reynolds shirt. He and Daniel had looked at each other when they had noticed all of the holes and scorch marks that was in it. Jack knew what that meant. He knew Reynolds had been tortured and placed in the sarcophagus and revived. How many times he didn’t know but he knew the routine and if he hadn’t already known that it was Ba’al that had done the torturing – this would have insured it.   
His eyes roamed over her skin and he could not believe the scratches and the burn marks on her legs and arms. He wanted so bad to just hold her and make it all go away. Escape with her to place no one would know and where they could be together. He realized he wasn’t only angry at the bastard that had done this but he was angry at himself. How much had she suffer because his brain had to have a stupid shut down just when it was needed most? God! What did she see in him? He was almost 20 years her senior, was lacking in the brain department and his body was wore out beyond help. Even the time he had spent in the sarcophagus hadn’t helped his knees nor his back. He was both figuratively and physically falling apart but she had told him that she had loved him. Had told him that and then he had allowed this to happen to her.  
“Jack!” Janet finally pulled on Jack’s arm to get his attention.  
Jack jerked and then he looked down at Doc and it dawned on him that she must have called him more than once. He saw the look in her eyes and he knew she knew what he was thinking. But he didn’t want pity from anyone. He wanted to catch the ones that did this to his Samantha and beat the living crap out of them until they died. Yes, until there was no breath left in them. Then he would take care of his own guilt. But until that time no one touched Carter but him.   
“Jack, you have got to let me get to her. I need to start an I.V. and I need to see what all has been done to her. I need to see what I can do for her here. You are going to have to let me examine her. I would never hurt her. You know this. You are scared and your emotions are running wild. Let me do what I can for her so we can save her. Let Daniel take you up front. Your body still needs rest. You know that is what Thor said. Go up front with Daniel, I will examine her and call you back here the minute I am through and if she wakes up, I will let you know. I promise.”  
Janet looked over at Daniel and silently begged for his help. She had to get to Sam. The longer she waited, the more danger Sam was slipping into. She knew for a fact she was already in shock and she didn’t know if she maybe on her way to slipping into a coma. She had to get an I.V. in her stat.  
Jack looked at Sam and then looked back at Doc. His mind knew that she would never hurt Carter but for some reason, he just couldn’t get the thought out of his mind that he may be letting Carter fall back into danger.   
“Doc, I will let you examine her, but I am not leaving. Whatever you need to do, you will do with me here. She will not leave my sight again!”  
Jack stood with his body literally trapping anyone from getting close to Sam. Jacob had gone out to talk to Bra’tac but when he heard Jack’s voice raise, he went back to where they were. He knew right away what was going on. He knew it would happen the minute Jack picked Sam up back at the underground. There was no way under God’s creation was he ever going to allow Sam out of his sight again. At least not for a very long time. Doctor Frazier would have to do the examination with Jack in the room no matter how uncomfortable it made her. There was only one man on the plane that could get Jack out of this room and Jacob doubted it very seriously if Teal’c would even try.   
“Doctor, I am her father and give you permission to examine my daughter with the Colonel present. I know it is against protocol but right now time is of the essence and we don’t have time to fight about this. At this point I don’t really care if he is back here or not. Just whatever you need to do to save my little girl – do it.”  
With those words, Jacob walked back up to the front of the plane, followed by Daniel and Teal’c. Jack side stepped a little so Janet could get to the gurney where Major Carter was laying. She started the I.V. and then looked over at Jack as she removed the rope that had held Reynolds shirt on Sam a little tighter. When she opened the shirt, she couldn’t believe that she almost got sick to her stomach. The sight was far worse than she had imagined.  
She heard the words coming out of Jack’s mouth, heavy with emotion and she couldn’t really blame him. The marks on Sam’s skin could not be called scars yet because nothing had healed. She had row after row of scratches across her breast and stomach and they were open, festering with infection. Janet had known that Sam was running a high fever which she also knew meant infection but she had not anticipated this. She had assumed the wounds had healed like most of the ones on her arms and legs. But from the looks of it, whoever had been torturing Sam had continuously tortured her over and over in the same spots on her abdomen and breast.   
Janet heard Jack’s quiet sobs and knew she herself was crying but she didn’t have time for that, she had to get these wounds disinfected and sewed up before they reached a point where there was nothing she could do. She looked at one of the officers that worked on the medivac and explained to him what she needed. Jack watched as the young man brought bottle after bottle of antiseptic and put it on the table beside Janet. He then opened a surgical kit and laid it out.   
Janet looked at Jack and figured if he was going to be in here, she might as well use him. She couldn’t risk giving Sam something to ease the pain of what she was fixing to do without first assessing why she was still unconscious so this part of the procedure was going to have to be done with her feeling it. She just hoped the Colonel didn’t get angry and decide to whack her if Sam started screaming.  
“Colonel O’Neill, I need you to listen to what I am going to tell you and you must do exactly what I say. I have got to clean these wounds but I cannot give Major Carter anything for pain because I don’t know why she is unconscious. She is going to scream, and she is going to try to get away from the burning. I need you to hold her for me until I get them all clean. Then I can stitch them up and we can go from there to what else needs to be done. Can you help me?”  
Jack didn’t make a comment but Janet watched as he walked over to the other side of the bed and took Sam’s hands in his. He didn’t want to think about the pain she would be going through in a couple of minutes but from the looks of her body, he couldn’t really see how she was even feeling pain anymore. And then Janet started pouring the first bottle over Sam’s stomach. That’s when the screaming started for Sam and the real crying starting for Jack and Janet.  
Up at the front of the plane, Jacob’s hands squeezed the seat in front of him He had known it was going to be painful when he had seen her face. He just didn’t know she was going to have to feel it. He wanted so bad to take his anger out on something and then his eyes glanced over at Samuels and before Daniel knew what had happened, Jacob had crawled over him and was starting across the aisle. Teal’c knew where he was going and intercepted him before he got his hands on Samuels. Teal’c held onto Jacob as the man beat into Teal’c’s chest. But Teal’c knew he couldn’t let him get to Samuels. He knew that he was the only one that could testify to O’Neill’s theory and they all wanted that to happen.   
Just than the alarm from the back of the plane started going off. Daniel raced to where they were followed by the others. He heard Janet as she screamed for the crash cart. He knew without having to go any further what was happening. Someone had flat-lined. He just didn’t know which one – Reynolds or Sam. And to be honest, he wasn’t really sure he wanted to know. But he found out soon enough when he heard the sound that emerged from his best friends throat. A sound worse than a wounded animal could ever make. A sound that testified that someone was losing their only reason for living.

QQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQ  
The first three lines before the title is a song that I love. When I was writing the part of Jack and Sam it came to mind and it just seem to fit. The title of the song is Immortal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In this story I mention an Air Force Medivac Plane. The plane became a part of the Air Force when the 375th Aeromedical Evacuation Squadron, one of four active-duty aero medivac units, based out of Scotts Air Force Base decided it was time to get our wounded home faster and better care. Scott’s NASA type mission control watches screens that show planes with all sorts of cargo – and the medivac plane is right there with them. Isn’t it great to know that we have achieved something so wonderful as to be able to get our wounded soldiers care and home in 3 days now instead of 10 as was the case during Desert Storm? If anyone would like to read about the medivac plane – you can find it by googling “the flying emergency room” at the air & space Smithsonian site.


	16. God hears, and God answers!

God hears and God answers

Jacob knew all too well what the meaning behind the scream that tore through the plane was. He himself had screamed the same way once and knowing why he had screamed that way sent chills up and down Jacob’s body. There was only one reason why a man screams like that. They had lost their soulmate.   
Jacob will never forget the day that he had lost his. Sammy’s mother was his whole world. When he wasn’t at work – he lavished all over her. He felt she was his only survival for the air he breathed and the only thing that could make his heart continue to beat. He swore that no other object – be it person or thing – would ever come between their happiness and his love for her.  
When he had first met Janet Grace Kennedy, he literally laughed at himself for falling for a child. He was 15 years her senior but it didn’t seem to matter. She won his heart faster than the Air Force had 12 years earlier. He knew without a shadow of a doubt that she would be his wife and together they would make a family. She was his Grace in life’s storms and he often told her that. Everyone else they knew, including her family had always called her Janet – but to him she was Grace because she had provided him with a piece of God’s grace.  
When she gave birth to their first child, he thought he had lost her then. The pregnancy had been rough and the baby had been born premature. The loss of blood had almost taken Grace’s life and had left her in the hospital for 3 weeks. When she came home, the two of them came home alone. The little gift that God had given them had not made it. She was 16, barely old enough to be a mother but her pain and grief proved that she was.   
Two years later, with God’s blessings, Grace gave birth to a healthy baby boy. Mark hit the scales at almost 11 pounds and made his father one proud papa. Jacob showed him off to everyone and anyone. The people at Scotts Air Force base was the second to see his son after him and his wife. He was as proud as a man could be and it showed in everything. Two years after Mark was born, Grace gave birth again. This time to a tiny baby girl barely big enough to be called a real baby. She hit the scales at barely two and half pounds. Jacob and Grace again begin the vigil of staying at the nursery window, waiting and praying.   
But Samantha Grace Carter was a tough little girl. She came into the world fighting and went through her childhood fighting, and to this day she had never stopped. Her brother didn’t make an exception because she was a girl. If he wanted to fight, then Samantha was in a fight. Of course, Mark never allowed others to beat up on his sister. If someone else started a fight with Sammy – Mark was there to defend her. That is until she started fighting for herself which seemed to happen overnight.   
Jacob will never forget the day Mark came running into the garage with blood pouring out of his nose and a black eye to beat all black eyes. When Jacob asked him who he had gotten in a fight with, Mark hemmed and hawed, not wanting to answer. But the answer was revealed soon enough when little Sammie walked into the garage with her fist still bawled up, rearing to get ahold of her brother again. She had literally grown up overnight and Mark never won a fight with her again. It wasn’t long before the bullies at school realized that skinny little Carter was someone to be reckoned with.  
Grace became pregnant twice more but sadly they lost both babies. And the grief was harder each time. The depression set in and seemed to put a gloom over the whole house. No matter what she and Jacob tried, they just couldn’t seem to get rid of it. She went back to work when she was medically released and her job became more out of town then at home. Jacob begin staying at the base more. Soon there was a live in nanny hired for Mark and Sammie and seeing their parents became an odd treat. Something that Sammie looked forward to a lot more than her brother did.   
Then her mother decided to quit work and stay at home. Samantha (as her mom called her) was turning into a tom-boy and Grace flatly refused to allow that to happen. She needed to learn about house duties and cooking. And Sam lavished on it. Spending time with her mother was something that Sam had craved and she loved it, learned everything her mother taught her. After all cooking was no more than science. Follow the recipe and you could make anything, change just a smidgen of the recipe and you created something brand-new. The two female Carter’s became inseparable but the two male Carter’s became more distant.   
Then Jacob came home with the news that he had been transferred. They would be moving out of the United States. The move was hard. Leaving family, friends and memories behind but Grace followed her husband. Then the moves became more frequent. The Countries and the States seemed to change overnight. Suddenly it seemed Jacob was no longer a family member as much as he was a guest when he would come home, sleep and be gone the next morning.   
He was fighting the same depression that Grace had fought but for some reason he couldn’t let it go. He felt he had cheated Grace out of three children that should have been theirs. Maybe if he had stayed home more or taken more of a load off of her she wouldn’t have miscarried and they would have been a family of seven instead of three. Maybe if she hadn’t married a man so much older than she, then she wouldn’t have buried three children. Grace tried to talk to him. His base commander tried to talk to him. He had done everything possible to help Grace. It wouldn’t have mattered who she married. It had been God’s choice – not something they did wrong.   
Then the day came when Grace called him at the base. Told him that her sister was in the hospital and they didn’t think she was going to pull through. She really needed to get there to see her. Couldn’t he come home and go with her back to Washington? He came home and took her to the airport but there was just no way he could take the time off to go with her. If things did turn for the worse, call him and he would see what he could do about going up there then.  
That was the last time he saw her alive. That was the last time any of them saw her alive. She called both nights she was in Washington to let them know how things were. Her sister started getting better so she was coming home. Jacob and Grace made plans for him to meet her at the airport the next afternoon. Sam was excited when she heard her mom would be home the next day and planned to bake her favorite chocolate cookies for her mom.  
Jacob didn’t show up at the airport, and Grace soon grew tired of waiting. She called a cab to take her home. She never made it. The drunk driver that ran the red light and t-boned the cab was so intoxicated that he didn’t even realize he had been involved in an accident. The cab driver survived just barely but Grace Carter wasn’t so lucky. The report said she died on impact, a broken neck and busted spleen. Jacob Carter received the news at the base and drove home to inform his two children. He could barely tell them with the guilt that rode him.   
That day tore the Carters further apart than anything else could have. It seemed when they buried Grace, they buried the chance for their family. Mark walked away and moved in with a friend’s family – telling his father he would never speak to him again. Sammie stuck with her father but they could never meet on even ground. In the back of her mind she couldn’t help but think that if her dad had been at the airport her mom would still be living.   
Jacob watched Sammie grow. She excelled in high school and graduated top of her class. He was proud of her the day she joined the Air Force but he prayed that she wouldn’t let her dream go of being an astronaut. It was partly his dream too and he wanted to be able to help her fulfill it. She got into astrophysics and became a gifted scientist well above her age level. Her mind was one of the Pentagon’s greatest assists and they planned to use it.  
Soon Jacob heard that Sammie had left the Pentagon and had gone into a department of the service called Analysis of Deep Space Radar Telemetry. Jacob knew that was the biggest load of crap he had ever heard. His little girl was into something that was top secret but she wouldn’t be in it long. He had arranged for her to take the astronaut test again and this time she would get into NASA.   
However, when Sam had heard what he had done, she couldn’t believe it. She couldn’t make him understand that she was doing exactly what her heart desired. Maybe, she told him, that was the problem. She was doing what she wanted – not what he wanted. That’s when Jacob finally broke down and told her he had cancer but like the stubborn man he was he refused to allow her to spend any time with him. He refused to let her see him down and without the strength to fight this.   
Finally, thanks to the mission to the Tok’ra home world Sam was able to help her dad and soon was able to help the relationship between him and her and him and Mark. For the last five years they had been closer than they had almost ever been.   
She had him worried a while back when Mark had introduced her to Pete. He was afraid she was taking the easy way out and giving up on the only chance of real love and happiness. He had listened to Selmak and met with her and Pete but he didn’t like him. He wasn’t the man for his Sammie. He told her that he didn’t feel like Pete would ever be able to call him dad and he wanted her to have someone who could. The next day in the gate room when he was getting ready to go back to the Tok’ra home world, Jack made the same comment he had always made when Jacob had come to the base but the look on Sam’s face stayed with Jacob ever since. When Jack had grabbed his hand to shake it, and said all casual “See ya later, Dad” he had to glance over at Sam who stood staring at Jack. And the answer was so evident.  
That was another reason this hurt so bad. He hadn’t had enough time with her to lose her now. Her life was really just beginning if he had his way about it. But he was afraid he wouldn’t have any say in the matter. He knew the sound that was still coming from Jack O’Neill and that sound caused his entire blood to turn cold.  
By the time Jacob, Teal’c and Daniel had made it to the back where Janet and Sam were, Janet was putting the paddles back on the crash cart. There was nothing she could do. Daniel walked over to her and pulled her against him. The sobs wracked her body and she could barely stand up. Jack was on the ground as if he had lost the ability to stand. He had pulled Carter down on him and was rocking back and forth, moans tearing from his throat like the sound of a mother mourning the loss of a child. Jacob and Teal’c stood there not quite sure what to do. Jacob wanted to be closer to Sammie but he knew that there was no way Jack was even registering who was in the room. To try to get nearer to Carter at this moment would evoke death on the person.  
Teal’c knelt down beside Jack, talking softly to him. He understood the pain he was going through. He would never forget when he lost his wife. Though he and Drey’auc had spent the last years apart, his heart still felt as if it was being ripped from his body when she died. To him, this was worse. He at least had gotten to spend years with her as a couple. O’Neill and Major Carter had obeyed rules that had nothing to do with how to defend a Country. They were simply there to tear people apart who loved each other. Time that his two friends could have spent together had been wasted by stupid fools who didn’t understand that you cannot stop the heart from feeling.   
Daniel had taken Janet over to a chair and was kneeling in front of her trying to calm her while Bra’tac and Davis was attending to Jacob. Teal’c had gotten up upon Janet’s urgency to go pour Jack something to calm him. Jack’s body was still not as strong as it should be and now with this, she worried about his own life. She had known before that Jack would never make it if Sam didn’t. There had been too many incidents when it had come close to that. But Sam had always fought through and Jack was able to keep living. Sam was the same way – there was no doubt that if Jack had not survived the countless times he had come close to dying, Sam would have died with him.  
Now to look at him was to look at a man who seemed to have lost his very existence. His whole face seemed to age in front of them as if time had sped up and there was no more for him. His body seemed to crumble and just sit like a puppet on the floor of the plane. The only thing that seemed to still have any life at all in the them was his arms. The arms that he used to hold Sam tight to his chest and seemed to weld her there.  
Jack just couldn’t accept the fact that she was gone. They had fought for so long and so hard to make the world a safe place so that they could go on with their lives. And now that they had the opportunity to do just that, fate had to draw the wild card and throw it down on the table. His Carter, his Samantha, his heart was gone. His whole reason for getting up each morning and going eagerly to the mountain.   
The days spent in the mess hall waiting for her to come in so he could surprise her with the last bowl of blue jello. Having team nights at his house because he knew she would let loose and have fun, not worrying about the frats and them being together. Sneaking away from Daniel and Teal’c and going up to the roof to cover with a blanket and gaze through his telescope together. The giggles from her and the laughter that would come from him when they had drunk too much and they would fall asleep on the couch with her head on his shoulder and him pulling her so close air couldn’t get between them.   
He would not allow her to leave this would alone. If he couldn’t have her here, then he would have her in the afterlife. It hurt too much to see her not moving, not smiling, not being excited about some new thingamabob that they had found. And then the rage started and Teal’c was running back to the back of the plane as fast as he could.   
Jack had put Sam back on the gurney and before anyone had realized it, bottles were being thrown. Chairs being picked up and hurled across the room, landing on the floor in a heap. Tables were being turned over and while doing all of this, the screams still tore from his throat. Cursing God for never allowing him to have anything to love. Never feeling he was good enough to take care of anything. But he wasn’t good enough. After all, it was him who had blocked out what Sam meant to him when he could have saved her so much quicker. It was his gun that had taken the life of his son. It was because he had not been doing all he could that so many soldiers had stepped through the stargate to never return.  
He saw Jacob, saw the grief on his face. This man who had lost his wife, now would have to bury his daughter because of his incompetence. He looked over at Janet and Daniel and saw the tears rolling down both of their faces, Janet so broken that she was literally being held by Daniel because there was nothing she could do to save her friend. And he couldn’t take it. The pain was just to great – looking over at his Samantha he knew he had to finally pay penitence for the pain he seemed to always cause people. Just like Sara and the pain he had caused her when his son took his gun and shot himself.  
Before anyone had realized it, Jack had pulled his berretta from his side holster and was raising it towards his head. He couldn’t take it anymore. He had no reason to keep living and he had no right to. Just as he thought the tip of the gun should have stopped at the edge of his temple he felt his arm being jerked back down. Teal’c held onto Jack’s arm and dodged the other one as Jack’s fist came around to knock him away. Teal’c got the gun out of Jack’s hands and stood there while his brother laid fist after fist into him. There was no way he would move from him. If this was what his friend needed, then he would stand here and give it to him. He would allow him to use his body for the release that his pain needed.  
Sam felt so cold. So cold that there was no way there would be anything that would make her feel warm again. She had heard the noise around her but she couldn’t say anything. It was as if she were floating above everyone. They were upset and it seemed to be because of her. But she was right here. She was just tired and needed to sleep. She would wake up soon. Why was Jack so mad? Why was he destroying everything? Oh god! He had a gun! He was pointing the gun at himself! Somebody stop him! Why did no one hear her? Why couldn’t she move and stop him? Teal’c! Oh god yes, Teal’c thank you. I couldn’t have lived if something happened to him. He had always told her she was the reason for him to live. Why would he change his mind? Oh god! She understood now! She wasn’t supposed to be seeing this! They thought she was dead and she couldn’t tell them that she was still here. Watching them, waiting for someone to do something. Why wasn’t Janet doing something? She had never given up before! Please don’t give up now! Even if I am gone – don’t give up on my only love!  
Finally, exhaustion won over, and Jack fell against Teal’c, his body shaking so hard from anger and tears that Teal’c’s body actually shook with his. When he was able to, he gave the tumbler he had handed over to Davis to Jack and watched him drink the dark amber liquid straight down. Then he walked with him back over to where Sam was and sat him in the chair close to the gurney. Jack took her hand in his and pulled her closer to him, rested his head on her chest and cried. Teal’c, unable to control it any longer, turned from Jack so that he wouldn’t see the tears coming down his own face.  
That’s when Reynolds saw the glow that seemed to radiate from Jack’s hand. Before he had a chance to say anything the glow seemed to spread from Jack to Carter. Reynolds tried sitting up more on the gurney and his movements soon had Janet up and over to him. All Reynolds could do was point at the Colonel. Janet turned to look and her hand covered her mouth. She tapped Daniel on the shoulder and pointed over at their friends. Before long everyone in the room was enraptured by the scene.   
Jack hadn’t moved. It was as if his body had shut itself down and drifted into a coma like state. The glow radiating from him seem to have a warm feeling about it. Janet started towards them, but Daniel pulled her back. He wasn’t quite sure what was going on but for some reason he felt they needed to be left alone for the moment. Then they saw it – they saw the glow begin to seep into Sam’s body. It seemed as if it made her glow from it being inside her. The more it took, the more the Colonel seemed to give. It was as if he was pouring a liquid sunshine into her soul.   
Sam felt the heat pour through her body. It was like blood rushing into her and giving her life. She felt as if she was joining back into her body. She felt more than saw Jack’s hand holding hers, his head laid upon her stomach. She felt the wetness of his tears although it seemed he was sleeping. She felt his breath on her as her breath rushed back into her body.   
Suddenly Jacob jumped up. He didn’t know if anyone else had noticed it or not but he could have sworn that Sammie’s chest had risen and then went back down, as if she had taken a breath of air. Was he so full of hope that maybe his eyes were playing tricks on him? Could she possibly be alive? Then he saw it again. Her chest rose so high that time that Jack’s head actually moved. No one could stop him as he rushed over to the gurney. He grabbed Sam’s other hand and held it up to his face. He saw he attempt to move her head to look towards him but it seemed the effort was too much.  
By this time Janet had taken her stethoscope and was checking Sam’s vitals. She had a heartbeat, low but steady. She was still very weak and she would be weak until Janet could get her back to the base and get her on the things she needed. She then checked Jack and waved towards Teal’c to come over. Jack wasn’t as strong as he had been just minutes earlier. It was as if the glow had been his life force going into Sam. Janet knew she needed to move him off of Sam. As long as he laid on her, he was using energy he didn’t really have to heal her. He had done enough for now that Janet felt sure she would be able to keep Sam alive until they got to the mountain where she could really attend her needs.   
Teal’c lifted Jack from his seat and waited while Daniel pulled another gurney closer to Sam’s and locked it down. Teal’c then laid the Colonel on it and covered him up while Janet covered Sam. Jacob had taken a seat on the side of Sam and Teal’c sat in the chair on Jack’s side. He had sat by his friend’s side before while he had been in pain and he had no intention of changing this time. They would wait. That’s all they could do.   
Bra’tac and Jacob both seemed to think that it was the ancient gene inside Jack that had given life back to Sam. Bra’tac had known as did the rest of SG1 that Jack had an ancient gene, for Jack had used it to heal him. They had just never imagined that it could be used to help someone be revived once they had breathed their last. Bra’tac said it was because although Sam may have seemed dead by all the machines, her heart had not given up. There was just enough drive in her to make her push a little while longer and that was why Jack was able to bring her back.   
Whatever the reason, they would take it. The companions on the plane watched with silent thanks as the three people they considered friends slept and healed. It was not over – not for any of the three of them yet and not by a long shot– but it was a lot closer than it had been.  
QQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQ  
Lt. Colonel Samuels sat at the front of the plane being watched by two airmen. He had heard all the commotion and had figured that someone had died. He really kind of hoped it was Reynolds and not Carter. If Carter survived, then maybe he could too. After all, none of this had been his idea. Surely once he started talking they would see that and let him go. He hadn’t really done anything that he hadn’t been ordered to do. He was supposed to follow the orders of the vice president, right? He was sure he could convince them that he was only doing as he was told. To be sure he had something somewhere that could prove that, didn’t he? Surely something….  
With that thought, Samuels realized just what kind of trouble he was in. He had no prove. Nothing at all with anyone’s name on it other than his own. With no one’s fingerprints on anything other than his own. Oh god, he had nothing to prove that the vice president was as in the middle of this – had actually orchestrated this –   
And in that moment, Lt. Colonel Bert Samuels would have given anything for his standard issued berretta 45. He would rather take his own life than to face Jack O’Neill if Sam was the reason all the noise was coming from the back of the plane.


	17. Love & Hate

Love and Hate

Janet watched as all three of her patients were unloaded from the plane and put in ambulances to be taken to the SGC. So far they had made it here without any more incidents and hopefully progress would start on the upscale. She knew that her infirmary was her sanctuary and where it seemed her best work and God’s miracles could and would happen.  
Reynolds still had a way to go with three broken ribs, a broken knee, a dislocated shoulder and a broken jaw and nose. She was worried also about him having withdrawals from the sarcophagus. She didn’t know how many times he had been placed in it and he couldn’t tell her. All he would say is that he had lost count. Jack had had withdrawals when he was put in the one by Ba’al but she was the only one who knew. She had been working late one night when the whole incident took place and the truth came out.  
She had gone up to the cafeteria to get some fresh coffee. At night there usually wasn’t anyone on duty in there – they just left snacks out and someone would seemed to always volunteer to make coffee when it ran out. The nurses always made sure there was a fresh pot made in the infirmary but going to the cafeteria gave her a reason to stretch her legs and think away from the beeping of the machines.   
Janet heard the noise when she came closer to the cafeteria. Someone was moaning as if they were asleep and couldn’t wake up. But why would they be sleeping in the cafeteria? Unless like she they had gone to get coffee or a snack and had drifted off while sitting and relaxing. As wore out as some of the teams got off world – it could very possibly happen. The only problem was they weren’t relaxing right now. Whomever they were, they were in the middle of a very disturbing nightmare and it was causing them high levels of distress.   
Janet was shocked when she walked in the cafeteria and saw Colonel O’Neill sitting with his head down on the table on his arms, and hearing the sounds coming from him. The sounds scared her even as she saw the fear in his own eyes – which were wide opened but unseeing. She walked over to him, and called his name – softly at first, not really knowing whether she should wake him or not. This was more up Mackenzie’s field but it being Jack there was no way she would call Mackenzie even if it wasn’t the middle of the night.   
She called out to him a little louder and he jumped up but even though he was awake – she could tell he wasn’t really clear on where he was. The fact was – he seemed to be stuck in a memory, a memory he didn’t want to be stuck in. Before Janet had realized what had happened he had reached out to grab her and would have succeeded had she not thrown his drink at him. For some reason, it alerted Jack and he realized what was going on and what he had almost done. The second time he had almost killed a woman because of his memories.   
But these he thought he had gotten rid of until Ba’al and his damn sarcophagus. That blasted thing seemed to play over and over in his head – like it was telling him he could get rid of the nightmares if he would surrender everything over to it. He knew it was a lie – just like the drugs had been but he had become so tempted. So tempted in fact that he had actually been trying to locate a planet that might have one. When Janet finally got him calmed down enough that he would talk to her, he let it all out. How he had been so tempted to just give in and let the god forsaken thing take his very soul as long as the memories would go away.  
But Janet knew the truth, and deep down he did too. That no matter how bad he thought he was and how adamantly he believed that God could never forgive him – he would never give up who he was totally. So he was willing to listen to what she had to say. Janet gave him two choices – he could either go see Dr. McKenzie or she would petition General Hammond for down time for his team. The only way she would go with this option is if he promised to find someone to talk to – somewhere he felt comfortable. He chose her and his cabin.   
She went directly to General Hammond, asked that he put SG1 on total shutdown for at least one month. He literally looked at her like she was crazy. He demanded to know why she would make such a request but Janet stood her ground, telling him it was between doctor and patient and that she would make it an order if she had to. General Hammond knew by all military practices that Janet actually outranked him when it came to the health of the soldiers, therefore he consented.   
No one saw Jack for exactly 25 days. Although questions were raised, speculations made and assumptions given – no one knew where he went or why besides Janet. That month brought the two of them closer than they ever had been. He didn’t open up to her completely but on those nights when he couldn’t handle it himself he would call her over and she would sit with him and just listen.   
Jack told her things that scared the living hell out of her. Things he had seen and done under the authority of the United States Government. Things he felt God would never forgive him for. He told her how he thought when he had first met Sara that God may have forgiven him and he really believed it when Charlie was born. But then he was brought back to reality really quick and knew there was no forgiveness for him when his son took his own life.   
Janet listened as he told her of the fears he had each time he and his team step through the gate. The fear that he wouldn’t be bringing them all back alive. The way his heart would literally hurt when he would have to go after another team and come back with the body of a soldier who had died on a mission that he had help set up.   
Jack would talk and then he would scream and curse and claim he was no good, that maybe he should have allowed the sarcophagus to change him. Maybe he was no better than the goa’uld were. After all, look at the lives he had taken, the men and women he had had under his command and had sent them into slaughter. Janet would listen, she would watch him, and she would let him rave. She knew there was really nothing else she could do. She was there mainly to stop him from doing something stupid like he almost did on the plane.   
She knew from his records that he had gone through withdrawals before. After his time in the Iraqi prison, he had become addicted to drugs to calm the nightmares. Sara’s father – who had been in the service also saw what Jack was going through. He saw his son-in-law trying to protect his daughter from the ugliness of war and it was destroying their marriage and Jack. He had to admit that he could handle the marriage being tore apart but he didn’t want to see Jack so screwed up that he was good for nothing. He finally convinced him he needed help. So without Sara ever knowing it, Jack got help for his addiction but the nightmares were still there. He soon learned to sooth them over with alcohol – not so much that he would totally relax but enough that he could sleep and forget.   
The last week he was at his cabin, he finally gave in and listen to her when she told him he needed to let the rest of the team come and stay for a while. He didn’t have to tell them what was going on but they knew something was wrong. They needed to know that their leader was ok, that their friend was going to be alright. That he wasn’t pushing them away nor blaming them. Although she knew from the minute the news came out that he had been taken by Ba’al that Sam blamed herself but that was something for him and Sam to work out another time. Janet walked out the cabin door the day before the team showed up and no one was ever the wiser.   
The day Jack showed back up at the SGC, he looked like a different man then the one that had left there a month ago. The haunted look in his eyes seemed to have been cleared by something a little more refreshing. Janet never knew whether he told the others about his withdrawals or not but she figured they knew. After all Daniel had gone through the same thing and Jack had pulled him out of it. It was something that was never talked about out loud but each one of them knew they were there for each other no matter what they went through.   
It was tighter with their team, but that statement went for every team on the base. No matter what a person was going through they were there to help. And now they would be there for Reynolds when he started his withdrawals. And looking at the scars from the last time he had been tortured, Janet felt sure there would be some collateral damage in the long run.   
She knew that the physical damage would heal. Oh there would be aches and pains, arthritis and sleepless nights because of the hurting. This was something he dealt with on a regular basis now. But this would be easy compared to the nights where the nightmares would keep him up. Reynolds was in the same boat as Jack – he had been stationed in Iraq just as Jack had been. He had fought over there and did the same disgusting things ordered by the government as Jack had. The only difference in the two of the men was that thankfully Reynolds had not been captured, not in Iraq anyway.  
Janet knew that the nightmares were almost just as bad. And although Reynolds had been different than Jack and had allowed his wife to see what he went through at night, she knew that these would be the ones that would be grudged up from the deep dark secret recesses of his mind. Janet knew he would deal with it as it came. She also knew that Reynolds was one of the few service men that would actually set and talk to a psychiatrist if he needed to.   
Sam on the other hand was a different story. Her wounds was impossible to tell whether or not they would heal without infection setting in. Janet still didn’t really know yet what all was done to her and she was actually scared of what the detailed examination would show her when she finally got them to her infirmary at the base. Even worse she didn’t know what may have been used on her. It was a fact that something sharp had been used to cut her skin open. Janet was afraid of where else a weapon may have been used. She knew that Jack had been thinking the same thing. Janet knew Sam had been raped – but with what she didn’t know. She was afraid to find out with the evidence that was already all over Sam that she had been tortured.   
Each of the gurneys were wheeled into the infirmary and by the time they had gotten them all in and situated, Jack was fully awake. He had slept through the rest of the trip without waking up once. Janet hadn’t been worried because she knew he needed the rest. It was as if he sensed he was home the minute the gray walls came into view.   
It seemed that he not only had awaken, but he had awaken fully alert and ready for a fight. Janet heard the commotion coming from where she had told the nurses to put him and headed over that way. She pushed through the crowded area and finally could see Jack trying to get up off of the gurney.   
“So the fight was already starting” Janet thought to herself. It was going to be hard to get him to stay in bed, she already knew this. Maybe there was a way they could compromise. Jack wasn’t fully recovered but he was strong enough that he really didn’t need to be left in the infirmary. He wasn’t going to be where he couldn’t see Sam either. That is where the problem was coming in. Usually Jack would sin in the infirmary beside the bed of whichever of his team was in there at the moment but he couldn’t this time.   
Sam had been taken to an isolation room away from the infirmary where Janet’s regular patients were. Mainly because Janet wasn’t sure what all test she would have to run on Sam to find out what had been done to her and she wanted it to be private. Janet knew that it was going to be against protocol but she was going to have to see if she could get them into a room where he would be able to watch over Sam. That was the only way he was going to be able to rest.  
“Colonel O’Neill, stop yelling at my nurses!” Janet literally had to scream to be heard over the noise that was issuing around the Colonels bed. She knew that Jack would never hurt any of the people that worked in the infirmary – under normal circumstances. But this wasn’t normal circumstances. She wasn’t even sure if he knew who he was yelling at. All he knew was that he could not see Major Carter and that was causing him stress. And Jack O’Neill did not handle stress well. When he turned to look at her, she could actually see the fear in his eyes. He was certain he had lost her and no one had told him.   
“Doc, I need to get out of here. I need to get to Sam. You have to let me up. I am fine, there is nothing wrong with me!” Jack argued his point at her as he pushed the nurses and security away from him. He knew that Carter was alive when he felt her last on the plane. His hand had stayed on her stomach the whole time he had slept. Her heartbeat was what had kept him sleeping so good. It was when he didn’t feel her heartbeat anymore that he woke up. Now he couldn’t find her and he wanted to know why.  
Colonel Jonathon Jack O’Neill was not a man who begged for himself. He only begged when it would keep someone he loved alive – which included anyone he knew (although he wouldn’t tell anyone that) but Janet knew without a shadow of a doubt that he was begging her, pleading with her to tell him that Sam was ok. That she was just in a different room. Without realizing it tears were forming in her eyes to match the ones hiding in his. It didn’t matter who disagreed – in order to get these two healed they were going to have to be put where they could see each other.   
She didn’t really know what ramifications were going to come from all of this as it was. As far as some were concerned Colonel O’Neill and Sam were the only ones who knew that President Hayes had backed General Hammond and that O’Neill was not out of the military – not yet anyway. And as far as what she and Daniel had found out – she knew they were the only ones who knew what had happened between the Colonel and his 2IC and that would be how it stayed.   
“Colonel O’Neill – you need to come with me.” Janet knew there was no sense in telling him to calm down, she would just let him follow her and once he came to the room where Sam was, he would be alright. Later, once she accessed just how bad Sam was, she would talk to General Hammond about putting Sam in a VIP room but for now she needed to stay where Janet and the nurses could keep an eye on her. She still hadn’t given up the thought that she may need to send her to Bethesda Hospital. She would have to worry about Colonel O’Neill when and if that happened.   
As they walked into isolation room 2, she heard some commotion coming from behind her and Colonel O’Neill and turned to look. She saw Teal’c just as he shoved Colonel Samuels into one of the spare rooms. Hopefully with Teal’c’s quick reflexes, Colonel O’Neill had not seen who he had. That was the last thing she needed right now. There would be no stopping him from committing murder if he got his hands on Samuels. She could barely contain the fact the she wanted to kill him herself. If O’Neill finds out he is here, well the end result would be really bad.   
Just as they entered the isolation room, O’Neill turned when he heard Teal’c’s voice and Janet held her breath but then he noticed who was on the bed and all other thoughts and people left his mind. He was in a chair and at the side of the bed before Janet even realized he had passed her. Sam opened her eyes when she felt his hand slip into hers and Janet could’ve have sworn that she saw a small smile on Sam’s face. Janet turned and walked back out the door. She had taken care of getting everything hooked up, I.V.’s started and monitors on. She was going to give them some alone time before she started the bad part – the part she dreaded the most. To find out what eternal damage may have been done.  
Janet left the isolation area and walked to her office after checking one more time on Reynolds. She didn’t want to show it or hoped no one saw it, but she was worn out. She just wanted to lay her head on her desk for a minute or two. The next thing she knew someone was gently shaking her shoulder. She hadn’t even realized that she had gone to sleep. She opened her eyes and saw Daniel kneeling beside her chair. She had wondered if what had happened at the hospital and on the plane would be different now that they were back at the SGC, but looking into Daniel’s eyes she knew the answer to that.   
Janet saw something reflected in his eyes that seem to copy what she had held in her heart since the day the geeky archeologist had walked back through the gate. She had not pushed the issue because she knew he was married and hurting and hunting for his wife. But she couldn’t help it when she found out that Shar’e had died to have a little hope that maybe when his heart healed, he would find love with her. Now looking at him she thought that maybe, just maybe there was a chance at just that.   
Daniel saw the reflection of his own eyes in Janet’s and realized that the heat of the moment was not the reason they had leaned on each other before. There was something there and now that he had at last let Share be buried – he would have a new life with a new person – something that Share would want him to do. Daniel wanted to hold her and let her rest on him like she was on the desk. Daniel looked over at the couch that Janet had put in her office a while back -mainly because it seemed every time SG1 left through the gate, she knew she would be spending day and night in the infirmary when they came back through the gate. Their reputation proceeded them that at least one of them would be her guest for a while and they never seemed to disappoint her.  
He stood up and pulled her up with him. He walked over to the couch and sat down and pulled her down with him. Daniel soon had her laying down with her head in his lap and spread the cover from the back of the couch over her. She was back to sleep before he had his head laying back. He was tired too but he knew that if he left her then she would be up and running again. It wouldn’t do anyone any good if she didn’t get some rest. She had a very good staff and they knew to get her if something happened. Everyone was asleep. It was time for her to.  
Daniel had checked in on Sam and Jack. Jack had put his head on the side of Sam’s bed and they were both sleeping, Reynolds was still sleeping and they had brought Ferretti here from the hospital and he was sleeping. Daniel had made his rounds while looking for her and was astonished to not find her on the floor. When he saw her in her office he had stood leaning against the doorframe for a while before he had actually woken her up. How had he gone for almost 4 years and fought with the fact that he may be able to love again? Before Daniel knew it, his brain had finally slowed down and his breathing had even out. It seemed everyone on the mountain was finally resting. Everyone that is except for three people.   
General Hammond watched as Teal’c again pushed the man back into his seat. General Hammond had started talking to Samuels the minute Teal’c had brought him into the room where he had been waiting. He wanted him to confess to everything that he had been involved in but mostly he wanted Samuels to give the name of the man who had orchestrated the whole operation. He had the Presidents permission to do whatever needed to be done (within certain limits) to find out everything they could on everyone involved with trying to break down the SGC. General Hammond had doubts though that Samuels would say anything. Right now he was more worried about being killed than doing prison time.   
General Hammond wouldn’t dare tell him that if the man standing in the room with him had his way or the one down the hall knew he was here – he would already be dead. Hammond had no doubt about that and to be honest, he felt the same way. But unlike Teal’c he was a General of the United States Air Force and his commander in chief had given him the responsibility to get information out of a criminal without taking his life so he had to obey. And unlike O’Neill – he obeyed the orders he was given even when they made him sick to his stomach.   
Hammond, like Janet, knew O’Neill’s service file. He had read it before he even met the man. He knew what kind of operations he had been ordered to do and he knew of the ones that weren’t in the file. And Hammond was no different. He had been ordered to do things he didn’t agree with either. There had been nights when his wife had sat up with him all night long when he was scared to go back to sleep because of the nightmares. And this piece of shit sitting in front of him was one of the ones who had helped give him nightmares lately. He wanted nothing better to do but beat the crap out of him but he needed some answers first.  
General Hammond and Teal’c stayed at it for over four hours and it finally dawned on them that the rat wasn’t going to give them the one name they wanted – Kinsey. No matter what they threatened him with, he wouldn’t give him up. Finally, Hammond told Teal’c to take Samuels to lock up and they would start again tomorrow once they had some rest. He knew that Teal’c wanted to check on O’Neill and Major Carter and he needed to check on all of them.  
By the time they had left the interrogation room, Janet had begun to make rounds again. She was going into Sam’s room just as Teal’c and Samuels came in front of the door. No one knew that Jack had moved to the opposite side of Sam’s bed where he could see right out of the door. No one knew until it was too late. Before Teal’c could stop him, Jack had Samuels by the throat and against the wall. He didn’t even have to ask why Teal’c had Samuels or why Samuels was here at the SGC. It clicked all too well. After all, he was Kinsey’s number one lap dog. Pure hate raged in Jack’s body and he used it as ammunition against Samuels.  
The fists begin to reign in on his body before Samuel’s had a chance to even protect himself. Janet had pushed the alarm button for security and Daniel was already in the hall coming back from checking on Reynolds when he saw the commotion. Teal’c actually had to fight with himself on whether or not to pull Jack off of the man.   
The man’s head hit the concrete wall behind him again as the fist slammed into his face for what seemed like the hundredth time. He was not even standing on his own anymore. He was at least two feet off the floor as the beast of a man in front of him held him by the neck with one hand and pulverized him with the other. He had lost consciousness by now but the man doing the ponding did not really care. He was blind with rage. All he knew was that this piece of trash had violated his most precious jewel and you did not live after that.  
Teal’c and Daniel tried to grab Jacks fist before it slammed again, knowing that there was nothing left for Jack to hit. The man had slipped from Jacks grasp and laid crumbled at his feet but Jack had not even realized it. If they had not caught his arm, he would have crushed every bone in his hand when it collided with the concrete wall of the SGC.   
Daniel knew what Sam being hurt could do to Jack. Hell, he was Sam’s and Jacks friend and he will never forget the day that Jack thought Daniel had feelings for Sam other than friendship. He touched the tip of his nose as he remembered that huge fist coming at his face, several times before the security at the base pulled Jack off him. Yes, he remembered it well and knew that Jack had not even realized that day what he was doing nor could he control it. However, Daniel somehow knew it would not have mattered. If Jack felt that someone or something was threatening “his Samantha”, then God help them. He had proven this on numerous occasions on other worlds.  
Along with Teal’c’s help, Daniel finally had Jack down on the floor so that Janet could give him the shot that she was holding. They all three knew they had to knock him out or he was going to kill the man that laid at his feet. It was plain that the man was not going to tell Jack anything that they did not already know. Jack fought the shot as long as he could but finally he felt himself start to drift off.   
“J..a..c..k” The voice coming from Sam sounded so hollow, almost like a haunting from a ghost movie. It was barely audible but Jack heard it as if it were a scream.  
“Sam…..take me to Sam” he said the words through a choked voice and looking at Teal’c with eyes pleading, he felt the big man lift him up and help him over to the bed where Sam laid.   
“Oh my Samantha, what have they done to you? What have I done to you?” he thought to himself as Teal’c helped him lay across the bed next to his heart.   
As drug induced sleep begin to claim him, he heard Janet telling the General what Sam had gone through and his arm instinctively sought her waist and pulled her close. When Janet admitted that yes, Sam had been raped with some type of instrument, the tears slid down his checks and he did not care who saw him and her as he laid soft kisses upon her bruised and cut forehead. Screw them! Screw the military! Screw the rules and the regulations! Screw them all! Never again would she be out of his sight. She was his and only his to protect, his to keep safe, his Samantha! He would find the low down sons of bitches that had hurt her! He owed that to her. He would find them and make them pay for what they had done. That was his last thought as sleep claimed him.


	18. Anger!

Anger – such a painful bite!

Jack slammed his fist into the locker and felt the bones break again. Doc was not going to be happy about this. He had already been to see Doc twice about his hand but he could not help it. The pain of seeing Carter like this was too much at times and he did not want to hide from her but he had to in order to keep her from seeing how much he despised himself. How much longer before he could look at her and not want to kill someone, himself included?   
He really hated confronting Janet again, more about Sam than his hand. She had been waiting on him to give his okay about moving Carter to Bethesda but he had been putting off giving her an answer. Sam had made it plain that she would go as long as Jack thought it was the best thing for her and as long as he was with her. But Jack knew that if she went to Bethesda, the chances of him being able to occupy Sam’s room there as much as he did here was highly unlikely.  
He never thought for one second that he would be back here, back at the SGC. He thought, for sure, his career in the Air Force was over. Just what the hell did he have to do to get kicked out anyway? He should be out of the service – hell with the rules he had broken, he should be behind bars. But it seemed he was on the President’s good side and according to President Hayes, all that had happened since he had cornered Hammond in his office was part of a scheme to catch rogue members of congress, and other military institutes. It should have been listed as insubordination on his part, instead he gets another damn bar to don his military jacket.  
He had just returned from cornering General Hammond about having his turn interrogating Samuels but the General had informed him that he had already put Samuels in the infirmary – next step was a coffin. Yes, General Hammond had said no matter how much he might agree with Jack, that’s where he should be, he still could not allow it. They were still hoping against hope that they would get him to admit that Kinsey was part of the whole thing.   
He just believed he could get Samuels to talk although according to Daniel and Teal’c, Samuels took the beating three weeks ago without spilling anything that they did not already know so maybe he was wrong and he could not get him to talk. All he wanted was justice for what had been done to Carter and the others. Reynolds was so screwed up, he was on complete down time and from the way the new quack talked that Doc brought in, he doubted if Reynolds would be back at the SGC. Jack did not mean anything bad by calling the new head shrink a quack. Hell, he did not even know the man. But he had made it plain to Doc and to the General that Mackenzie was to be nowhere near any of them anymore.   
Last Monday, Jack really thought Reynolds was going to kill Mackenzie and he feels sure if Mary had not gotten him and Daniel when she did – there would have been no way that Mary would have been able to hold him back. What kind of idiot would throw something like a man’s sex life into the play of being put in a damn sarcophagus? Did Mackenzie really think that he needed to tell Mary and Reynolds that their sex life might suffer? Reynolds had been through PDS when they all went through the shit with Iraq and Iran. Out of the four of them, Reynolds, Kowalsky, Mathews and himself – Reynolds was in almost as bad a shape as he was.   
God, Jack still could not believe that Mathews had screwed him the way he had. They had been through so much in the past and even if he had risen higher in the ranks faster than Mathews – it had not put a damper on their friendship as far as he was concerned. Obviously, that was not the way Mathews had felt. He still remembered standing in front of the group of Iraqi soldiers while Reynolds and Kawalsky dragged Mathews’ unconscious body away from the light so that the guards would not see them. He knew that Mathews had been shot but he would be okay. It was him that would end up spending another three months in an Iraqi prison. Making this his fourth time becoming a prisoner of war.  
But now Carter was so messed up, Doc was at a loss as to what may heal and what might not heal, Mathews was dead, Reynolds was barely holding on, and Barrett was still a patient at the hospital by Groom’s Lake (at least he was getting better) and Jack himself was on the verge of killing someone. And at this point, it really did not matter who as long as it was someone that deserved it. Jack knew he himself fell into that category. He had tried so hard to keep her from going to Groom’s Lake.   
He had even broken protocol and went with her, stayed with her in the same room and yet she still ended up getting hurt. Almost died and who was more to blame. He really could not blame anyone without blaming himself at the same time. If he had left it as a mission and nothing else – she would not be in the shape she was in. But he got careless and acted like a love sick fool. He would never take away any of the time they had shared together. That was the best days of his life since he had lost Charlie. She had opened a whole new chapter for him. The problem was when she had opened this chapter – they both had thought that he would no longer be her CO. Now, their book may end before the chapter is even finished.   
Jack slammed his other fist into the locker and looking at both of his hands, headed out to find Janet.   
QQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQqqqqqqqqqq  
Reynolds sat in front of Dr. Jennings for the third time in one week. He and Mary had decided on three times a week when he had almost put Mackenzie’s head through the wall at the SGC. Mackenzie was not allowed back at the mountain anymore. The warning had come from General Hammond but Reynolds had this deep feeling that somewhere in the middle of that decision, Jack had pulled some strings also.   
He was no longer at the SGC either as of last week and he really cannot say that he minded. Oh, he would always be a military man and the service would be his one and only career. But he was tired of coming home broken to Mary and her having to patch him back together mentally and emotionally. They had been through so much together and she had sit on the edge of the bed and held him while he cried more nights than he cared to remember. He also knew, though she would never admit it, about the nights after he would wake up screaming and she would talk to him until he drifted back into a fitful sleep; then she would go to the bathroom and get sick to her stomach, crying and questioning God.  
It was time for it to stop. Maybe sitting behind a desk pushing papers for the next few years was not such a bad idea. Heck, Jack even said he was tired of the mess and ready to retire. Although it seemed Jack was going to have to fight harder to get out of the SGC then he did and for that he really felt sorry for the man. Jack had given so much, as they all had, but for he knew that Jack had thought twice now that he was out for good. Just to be brought right back in.   
He listened to Mary talk to Dr. Jennings about the conversation she and he had had the night before about him leaving the military all together. He was willing to stay and shovel paperwork but Mary was afraid that as long as he was in the service they could recall him to field duty and that scared the daylights out of her. She had talked to him about retiring. He could, he had put in more than 20 years and with his psych evaluation not being up to par, he had more than enough reason to be able to retire. However, he had tried to explain to her that even with retiring, if the need arose they could still call him back to active duty. Mary was alright with that – she claimed the chances of that happening were slim to none. It did not matter how many times he tried to explain that that was how Jack ended up at the SGC – was by being recalled.   
Reynolds knew Mary was tired of the service life for them all. She was ready for him to be home and watch his kids do things that kids do. She was tired of spending Christmas’s watching them unwrap gifts from both of their parents but knowing that he had not even been able to share in the joy of going shopping with her. She was tired of spending anniversary nights in a bed all alone. Heck, even with him at the SGC there had been nights when he had been stranded off world on special occasions. And it had been just as difficult to explain to her the reason why he was not at home as it had been in his Special Forces days.  
The pain was almost the same too. He would not tell her that but the nights when he could not get home because he was stuck in some nuts underground prison was so much like being back in Iraq or Iran until it scared the living crap out of him. When he would be in the middle of a gun battle with the Jaffa and whatever Goa’uld they may be serving, he would see the men and women cut down never to breathe again on this earth and his soul would tear in half. Knowing that there was no going home for them and that their families would never know that they died in a war protecting earth – not just the Country but earth itself. It rightly pissed him off.  
Reynolds did not even realize that he had stood up out of his chair and had walked across the room to where the open window was. It was an agreement between him and Dr. Jennings that there always be an open window in the room where they talked. He just felt more grounded if he could smell outside and not smell gunpowder or blood. And no matter what that quack (“use some of Jack’s words for myself here” Reynolds thought) Mackenzie said – you can smell blood.  
God! He was so tired of death and mayhem! He was tired of lying to his family about what he did for a living. He was tired of making his subordinates lie to their families. Knowing that no matter what they sacrificed, their families would never know what they actually did. He was tired of being scared of not coming home at all. This time it was close, real close and it had happened right in in his own Country. Right where he had always felt safe before – now was he even safe at all? Was he always going to be a target for someone? And for what – so others could have fun doing what they wanted to do? Suddenly he became so filled with hate that he could taste the bile in his mouth.   
Suddenly, he could feel hate for Major Carter and Jack, hate because she would not take precautions like Jack wanted her to and Jack because he could not keep his ass from doing something stupid! Why was he the one that had to suffer because of that stupid Goa’uld? Why could the snake head not get ahold of Jack and make him suffer? He shook his head and tried to clear his thoughts. He did not want to blame them but the hate seemed to intensify and he could not stop it. He knew that Jack would have done anything humanly possible to keep Ba’al from getting a hold of him but he had gotten him so it was it not their fault? Was it? God, he was so confused!!  
Dr. Jennings and Mary watched Reynolds without him knowing it. Dr. Jennings had noticed that his mind had wandered completely out of the room – to where he was not sure yet but he had a feeling he was going to find out. Sure enough, Jennings was prepared but Mary was not and she could not help but jump and scream when Reynolds fist went through the top pain of the window.   
“You want to talk about it?” Dr. Jennings asked Reynolds. He did not see any point in making someone talk – they either would or they would not. It was understood at the first meeting however that the longer it took for the two of them to finally talk, the longer the sessions lasted. He watched Reynolds as he turned, seeing that he actually had to focus his eyes to remember where he was and what was going on. It took him a while and then he saw Mary and the look in her eyes told him that once again he had slipped into another place – a place she did not like seeing him at. A place that scared the living hell out of her.  
“God, Doc what am I supposed to do? Every time I think that everything is ok and things are back to normal, I start remembering what Sam looked like, what I looked like when they would place me in that damn coffin and I knew that when it opened again a piece of me was gone. Would it be a memory of Mary that was gone this time or would it be something that I remembered that was good replaced by evil and dark memories? Every time I close my eyes, all I can see is the people I shot to defend someone else but that is not the way it looks now. I feel like I am happy I shot them, happy I took a person’s life. I never felt that way before. I was never happy when I had to kill someone – no matter how much in the wrong they were. I blame my friends, Jack and Sam for the way I feel, for what I went through but deep down I know it wasn’t their fault. Or do I know that?”  
Reynolds sat back down on the couch and Mary took the wash cloth that Dr. Jennings was holding out and wrapped it around his hand. He had cut himself but not bad enough that he needed stitches but he would have to have it checked. He would go see Janet for that. He took a deep breath and laid his head back on the cushions. He was so tired but he could not sleep – the nightmares seemed so real.   
“I feel like I am a stranger in my own body and it scares the hell out of me! What’s worse is I know - even though she would never say – I scare the hell out of Mary too. I know that she sent the girls to my mom’s because she did not want them to see me like this. Well, what if like this is all I will ever be for now on? What happens then? What happens when I cannot go back to being the man I once was, before all of this took place? What if I cannot go back to the man who would give his last breath just to say I love you to the one person who means the most to me? What then, Doc?”  
Dr. Jennings watched as tears fell down both of their faces – Mary’s and Colonel Reynolds and in his heart, he knew he would have to tell them that Albert Reynolds would never be the same man again. There was no going back when you went through what he did, as many times as he did.   
QQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQqqqqqqqqqqq  
Sam turned in the bed so that she was no longer facing the doorway, no longer facing Teal’c. She felt the hot tears as they ran down her face and she angrily wiped them away. God, why was she even mad for? Because of him, because of them, because of the nights they shared and they would never share again. She thought that Jack, well Colonel O’Neill, would have been back by now. She knew her days of calling him Jack was over.   
She had seen him when he had left earlier that morning. The look on his face told her he was still upset about the whole situation and she knew he had a right to be. She knew he was most likely pissed off at her because of her stubborn nature. Was he mad at her because of the pain she had caused him or because she did not fight harder? And then she finds out how bad off Colonel Reynolds is and that’s just one more to add to her guilt. God why did she have to be so good at what she did but so stupid when it came to trusting people.   
Sam knew it had been a command for her to go to Area 51 but she also knew that if she had acted even the least bit worried, General Hammond would have made it an order that someone go with her even into Area 51. As it was Jack…. Colonel O’Neill actually had to put his career in jeopardy to be able to protect her and she still even backlashed at him when she had seen him on the plane.   
How would she ever get forgiveness for the pain she had caused so many people? Barrett, Reynolds, and even Colonel O’Neill had been injured. No one would tell her how bad he had been hurt but Daniel had slipped and said something about the Nox. If the Nox got involved – things got pretty bad.   
Sam pulled her legs up even more and felt the pain lace through her insides. God, how she hurt. The pain and embarrassment of what Ba’al had done to her was still so raw. She had not told Jack exactly what was done to her with the hand device and she had begged Janet not to. She knew her father and General Hammond knew but she did not want him to know. She did not want him to know that she was as screwed up on the inside now as she was on the outside.   
Janet had said that the cuts and bruises would heal but that she would have scars. Her dad had used the healing device on her when they had gotten her situated in the private room. Janet knew that there was a chance that some of the healing had to be done that way or she would have suffered some very serious infection. However, the destruction that had been done on the inside of her body was not healing as well as what had been done on the outside and Janet had told her that she may have to have a complete hysterectomy before it was all said and done. She had also made the comment that it would be a long while – a very long while before she would be healed enough to have a sexual relationship with a man. Another screw up on her part. Even if she was able to marry the man she was in love with – what was the chances of him wanting her if she could not bring him pleasure?   
Sam realized one thing and one thing only – no matter how bad it hurt she was going to have to let Jack go. Even if somehow they could have a relationship – there was no way she would ask him to devote the rest of his life with her. Not when she did not even know if she wanted the rest of her life. Why did she have to keep fighting when everything she wanted in life was being taken away from her? She was so tired of the confusion. Tired of the wanting. Tired of not having the one man she loved with her always, no matter where they were. She wanted to show people how much she loved him – now she was going to have to try and show him how much better off he is because he cannot have her.   
Would he care? Did he leave today because he could not handle her brokenness anymore? Was she just too much of a broken piece of humanity for him?   
The questions rambled through her mind while she became more and more secluded, closing herself off from the very man that would give his life to make her whole again. Teal’c watched in sadness, knowing that this was one war between two of his best friends that no one was going to be able to help them with.  
Just then she heard her room door open and she heard Teal’c as he acknowledged Janet. She waited for her friend to come to the side of the bed where she could see her and she realized looking at her what her next step would have to be. She had no choice.  
“Janet, I need you to sign the paperwork for me to go to another hospital besides Bethesda. Sign it today – right now and I want to leave as soon as possible.” Sam grabbed Janet’s hand in hers and when she looked into Sam’s eyes, she shivered from the lack of life that reflected out of them. Sam continued with her request. “Promise me that you will not tell Jack where I have gone. Promise me that he will not know. Use doctor/patient confidentiality if you have to. I don’t care. I don’t want him with me, I don’t want him hurting anymore. I am tired of causing people to hurt!”   
By the time Sam had finished, she was no longer talking. She was screaming, she was crying and Janet knew that she was hurting worse than anyone should have to hurt. She also knew that the man that had just walked in the room was hurting right along with her. She watched as he turned and walked out, thinking to himself that he was right – Carter no longer wanted anything to do with him. She blamed him for not protecting her. Janet just stood there watching him leave - wondering what bone she would have to mend next.

QQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQ  
General Hammond sat quietly in his office, his hands holding his face. He was so tired of watching his good people get hurt by raving lunatics and this time it happened right in his back yard almost. He knew he had lost one good man; Reynolds would not be coming back to the SGC. He feared that he had lost Sam also. That made him even more aware that if he lost Sam he would also lose Jack. He knew whether they wanted to admit it or not – that one could not live without the other one. This time he was afraid that sentiment would be put to the test.


	19. Hurting each other!

\- Hurting each other

Daniel saw the tears as they cascaded down Janet’s face. God! If only he could grab her right now and pull her to him. He knew she would love him to do just that but she would not want him to in front of her patient’s and nurses. She was hurting so bad. Torn between Jack and Sam and the anger and hurt they were causing each other and their friends just because they would not talk.   
He followed her out of the infirmary and down to her office. Once the door was shut, he did not hold back and she was in his arms before she even realized he had walked in the office with her. So wrapped up in the pain her friends were going through, knowing that no one could help them through this. Even the new psychologist that was working with Reynolds was not getting anywhere with Jack. Daniel knew this too so the words that was coming from Janet was no surprise to him.  
It had been a little over two months since they had brought Sam, Jack, and Col. Reynolds back to the SGC. Two months of a lot of anger, a lot of hurt but not much talking. Janet had done what Sam had begged her to do. She had moved Sam that same night, no one but she, Sam and General Hammond knew where. It had not gone over well with Jack. Even after leaving her room the way he had, Daniel knew that Jack had still tried to find her so that he could see her. It was killing him. Both physically and psychological. He was not sleeping, barely eating and beating the crap out of anything that he could find. Daniel had barely stopped him when he had almost floored an SO because of a smart-ass comment he had made about Jack. Some little joke that had been said before and they had always just ignored it had almost caused a young man to end up in the infirmary and not in one piece.   
Then again, what the man had said had not gone over too well with neither Teal’c nor himself and the man did end up in the infirmary when Teal’c found out about it. Still a blooded nose and busted jaw was a lot better than what Jack’s uncontrolled temper would have done. The comment, whispered behind hands and into ears since the day Samantha Grace Carter had become part of SG1 – “He had to be hitting the right spots for her to still be on his team, as old as he is.” The comment was usually ignored for the most part and even sometimes, there was a smart comment made back when the whisper had been said too loud. However, this time, there was no ignoring it because of the cruelty and added words “Now there may be no spots left for him to hit”. If Daniel had not been able to get help from a couple of marines that just happened to be passing by at the right time, he feels sure that Jack would have killed the young man.  
It was a week ago that the incident happened in Janet’s office that had finally led General Hammond to make his decision. She had arrived at the SGC that morning and was on her way to her office to go over patients records while Daniel went to get coffee. This had become their morning routine. Daniel would set in the office and chat with her, drinking coffee until it was time to either go to a debriefing and see what team he would be placed with or go to his lab.  
That morning however, Jack was waiting for Janet when she came into her office. She did not see him; did not even know he was there until he cleared his throat. When she turned around, Jack had moved in front of the door and had a crazed look in his eyes. Janet did what anyone would have done when faced with a trained killer – she pushed the alarm button but did not realize that at the same time she had backed herself into a corner with him bearing down on her.  
“Doc, just give me the state you sent her to. I can find the city and the hospital. Just tell me. All I need to do is check on her. I won’t stay – hell she won’t even know I’m there. I just gotta see that she is alive, that she is ok.”   
Jack’s anger was so close to the edge that Janet did not know how he was standing so still. Yet because he was standing so still – it scared her even more. It seemed to be a controlled anger. She tried her best to stay as calm as possible but she knew he had to have heard the quaking of her voice.  
“Colonel O’Neill, you know that I see Sam twice a week. You also know that you would be the first to know if there were any changes – good or bad. I cannot give you the information you want. You know that. It is doctor – patient confidentiality.”  
Janet jumped when Jack’s fist slammed into the file cabinet beside her. She felt sure she was safe, and yet even after the first fist; she still was not prepared when his other fist went through the wall above her head. Her scream did not to stop him. His face was so close to hers that she saw the pure blackness shining from his eyes. This man was not the Jack O’Neill she knew. This man was on a mission and he was not going to let anyone or anything stop him from achieving his goal. No matter who they were – this Jack O’Neill had no friends at the moment and that scared her so bad she could no longer stop her body from shaking or the tears of fright from escaping her eyes.   
“Give me the damn hospital! You know good and well that she needs me there! You know that those bastards can get to her no matter where she is and yet you’re standing here with your hand up your ass not caring! Damn, I thought she meant more to you than that! You of all people know what she means to me, you know I wouldn’t let anyone near her again! She already hates me because I screwed up once – don’t leave her there for them to get her again. If you care anything about her tell me where she is! I just don’t understand why the people who call Sam and I friends don’t want to help us. Why are you keeping me from the person that needs me the most? Tell me where she is or I swear to whatever god you want to believe in that I will rip this damn office apart with you in it.”  
He was not yelling, his voice so calm that Janet was surprised at the words that was coming out of his mouth. Hate unlike anything she had seen or heard before was coming from a man who she adored and respected more than anyone else. Yet here she stood, shaking so hard that she felt as if she was stuck in a wind machine. “He wouldn’t really hurt her, would he?” Janet could not help but question her own words when she saw his fist rise again.   
However, the hit never came and she had to move the hand that covered her eyes to see why she had not felt the blow. Suddenly he was gone and Daniel was holding her. She had not heard Teal’c any better than she had Jack. Yet all she could say to Teal’c was for him not to hurt Jack – she knew he did not know what he was doing. He needed help; he needed help worse than she had ever seen him need help.  
General Hammond’s decision was for Jack to take leave. “Go home, Jack before you do something you will regret and I have to have you arrested” was the General’s exact words. Away from the mountain and away from all of them. General Hammond hated doing it. He did not like the idea of Jack being at home by himself. But he had to put him on downtime. He was going to hurt someone, including himself. That was what scared all of them the most. What would Jack do now that he was all alone.   
Daniel had called him several times within the first two days he was home. After the third time of him telling Daniel “I’m fine, Daniel, would you just leave me the hell alone”, Jack had turned off his phone or trashed it – which ever, Daniel did not know. All he did know was that he could not even get a connection anymore. Daniel had asked Teal’c about riding over to Jack’s with him but Teal’c had told him to wait awhile – saying O’Neill needed time alone. Daniel did not know just how much time Teal’c was planning on giving him but Daniel was almost tired of waiting.  
Ever since then, Janet had walked around like she was lost. She knew she would not break confidentially for no one. But what Jack had asked of her made perfect since. Could they really be sure that Kinsey or no one else could find Sam. She was not even sure if they had done the right thing by moving her away from the SGC. The security on the mountain was a lot better than anywhere else.  
He pulled Janet even closer and felt her head drop to his chest. Everyone felt the pain but he knew that Janet was feeling so much for Sam because she knew exactly what had happened to her. He did not know the details of Sam’s injuries and to be truthful he was glad. All he knew was that Janet had told him she doubted if Sam would ever be able to come back to SG1. She did not know if she would even be able to work at the SGC anymore.   
Daniel had never dreamed when he figured out how to turn on the stargate so many years ago that so much pain and anger was going to be connected with it. He wished at times that he had never seen it. That it had remained buried. Yet, he could not remain feeling that way knowing of the things they had seen and the places they had traveled. The bad was out there but the bad was here to. Kinsey was worse than some of the Goa’uld they fought.  
Daniel’s thoughts stopped when he realized that Janet was no longer crying. She was no longer resting with her head on his chest. Instead her lips were now pushing against his skin, her hands moving the shirt he had on so that she could can access to the bareness beneath. Daniel reached down and lifted her face. He saw the need in her eyes. The need to feel like there was still love in the world and that it could be felt between two people freely. He knew what she was thinking because he had thought the same. He and Janet were lucky. They could have what they experienced and no one could stop them. If only Jack and Sam had been allowed the same. He lowered his head and soon his lips were covering hers.   
QQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQ

Jack sat with his head thrown back on the couch while the doctor in front of him just watched him. Dr. Jennings had not looked surprised when he had shown up that evening for his session. Jack thought surely he would kick him back out on the curb and tell him “to never show his face there again!”.   
“Shit, guess I really couldn’t blame the man if he had done that. The last time I was here I destroyed his office and told him I wouldn’t be back because the man was crazier than I was.” Jack thought to himself. He was right. He had destroyed the office. He had torn apart everything he could get his hands on when Dr. Jennings had informed him that if it was his fault that Sam had been captured, then it was Sam’s fault also.  
The doctor was as crazy as he was, Jack still thought that. However, Jack also had to admit that he had more respect for this man then he had for any other psycho doctor he had ever seen. Dr. Jennings not only had a habit of waiting you out, but he also told you exactly what was on his mind. He did not sugar coat anything. When he had said that about Sam being guilty too, Jack had gone stark raving mad. Some of the things he had done, he could remember – other things were not so clear. He had not only come today because it was time for his session but to apologize to the man for what he may have done and he did not remember.   
Seeing the black eye Dr. Jennings was sporting, Jack understood why the receptionist in the lobby had looked at him like she could murder him. He just kind of squinted at her with a “Sorry” and followed her to the doc’s office. Dr. Jennings stood up when Jack entered his office and shook Jack’s hand as if nothing had happened. Jack made a face of “Sorry, didn’t know what I was doing” and Dr. Jennings looked at him with a Teal’c impression that stated straight up “Even if you did know what you were doing, you would have done it anyway.”  
Jack leaned up and rubbed the back of his neck with his hand. God, he did not want to be here but he knew the only way he was ever going to get back on the base was to talk to this man. He had to start somewhere. But the guilt – could he let that go. He had caused so many people so much hurt. Good men and a good woman that may not ever make it back to work because he acted on impulse and did something that was totally against the regulations.   
“Jack, we can sit here all day if you want but wouldn’t you rather be at home getting ready to watch the hockey game tonight. I mean, I know you got to go pick up some drinks for you and the guys.”  
Jack looked at Dr. Jennings like he had flipped out. Really, the man’s sandwich was short a slice of bread if he thought for one-minute Jack was having anyone over in his house. First of all, he did not even know if there was anything left of his house after the damage he wrecked upon it in the last two weeks and besides, he doubted anyone would want to come to his house anyway.   
“Tell me what you are thinking there, Jack. Do you really think those friends you left at the SGC aren’t still concerned about you? Do you really think you left their minds the minute the gate closed? If you really thought that was true, why did you use a hammer on your cell phone to keep Dr. Jackson from calling you?”  
“You obviously don’t know Danny! He’s a royal pain in the lower extremities!! Teal’c must’ve tied him down cause he still hasn’t showed up at my house yet.”   
Dr. Jennings looked at Jack as he made this statement. He heard the wistfulness in Jack’s voice when he spoke of his friends. He could deny it all he wanted, but he was hurt. He was hurt because he felt as if they had closed him out of Sam’s life and out of theirs. Dr. Jennings did not need anyone to tell him that Jack was in love with Sam and he knew that Sam was in love with Jack. Why did people who hurt think it was so easy to hurt the ones they loved? He saw Sam twice a week, although Jack did not know that he was seeing her. He knew her wish was for Jack not to know where she was.  
When he had first figured out how much they loved each other – he knew from that moment on that they would never get well until they sat down and talked to each other face to face. He was working on getting Sam to give the okay for Jack to visit. He just hoped Jack did not do something stupid before he could get her okay.  
“So what, are we going to talk about hockey today, Doc? I can talk about hockey all day and night if you want. That and the Simpsons would keep me talking.” Jack made the comment with a quirky grin, but Dr. Jennings knew that the grin did not reach Jack’s eyes.  
“Ok let’s talk about Hockey, Jack. What happens when a player does something that he knows is against the rules? Let’s say for instance he threatens another player, what happens?”  
Jack stood up and begin pacing; he knew where this was going. Hell, they had never gotten into the conversation about what had finally gotten him thrown off the mountain. He did not want to talk about it either. He still could not believe it when the doc had shown him the video footage from Janet’s office. “What the hell was I thinking, threatening her like that? Hell am I really that screwed up?”   
Dr. Jennings watched Jack rub the back of his neck with his hand, a nervous tick that Jack seemed to have and according to General Hammond had had since the day he had met Jack. He would wait him out on this one because they could not move forward until he was sure Jack knew where his anger had gotten. He would rather deal with Jack’s anger then his depression. He knew about that also and as of yet that had not come into play.   
Jack, still rubbing his neck, turned and looked at Dr. Jennings. He knew he was waiting for an answer to his question. Jack knew the answer too; the same thing would have happened to the player that had happened to him. The player would have been thrown out of the game just like he was thrown off the mountain.  
“But Doc, I have a right to know what has happened to my second in command, don’t I? Heck, we have fought too many battles together for us to lose each other here, right here in our own world.”  
“Jack – come on, you have to be honest with me. It is not just, about her being your second. It is about you being in love with her. It is about you protecting her. It’s about you protecting her and not screwing up like you did the first time. Isn’t that what you are thinking? That you should have another chance to do it right this time. Then again, this may not be just about this time and her getting hurt. I mean, let us look at the record here. Just how many times has Major Carter gotten her ass in a jam and you got her out just in time. So this time you didn’t get her out in time.”  
“Don’t doc! Don’t go there again! Why do you find so much fun in putting Carter in such a compromising situation? Like it is all her fault. Carter is not the only one that got her six in a jam – we all did. Hell, Daniel didn’t seem to be happy unless he was dying on us all the freaking time!”   
“Yes but do you hold yourself accountable for every time Daniel or Teal’c screwed up in the field? Is it your fault that Daniel died because he tried to protect a planet from radiation poisoning? Is it your fault that Teal’c and Bra’tac almost died because the planet they were on was attacked by Jaffa and they had to share the same symbiote? Oh and I guess it was your fault that the base was taken over by aliens while you were off world trying to protect us from other aliens?”  
“I didn’t say that but it was my fault that Carter got hurt this time because I went there to protect her - not to bed her! Moreover, in fact I do blame myself for them being hurt. It was my unit, my command – therefore I am to blame!”  
“Oh ok I am so sorry – I didn’t realize that you were bedding Teal’c and Daniel also. To be sure that would have been the only reason someone would have been able to get through your defenses. You must have had your mind on what you were planning on doing with them once the sun set.”  
Dr. Jennings watched Jack for his reaction. He pushed the buttons he pushed because as long as Jack thought that making love to Sam was the reason she was captured; they would never be able to have a relationship. Oh he knew the service would be a hindrance between them but all it would take is for him to claim that neither Jack nor Sam was mentally fit to serve off world again. To be honest, that would not be a lie. The damage was already apparent before this last mission; this just put the topper on it.   
The anger was coursing through Jack’s veins like liquid fire. He had to calm himself or he was going to destroy something again. He took a deep breath and waited for it to exhale before taking another one. By the time he had sat back down on the couch, he had calmed down a little and he had begun to see what Doc was saying. Was there a reason other than him being with Carter that got her hurt? Maybe he had forgotten something else. Then again, he should have gotten to her sooner – he knew where she was according to Thor. Because of his ancient gene he had known all along where she had been and yet he had not saved her in time.  
Dr. Jennings saw the dawning in his eyes and he was ready for the next accusation to start. He was not surprised when the statement came out of Jack’s mouth.  
“Ok, if that is true and it is not because we were..um … well you know, then why could I not help them find her sooner? If the ancient gene I had in me could tell me where she was, why couldn’t I save her before the bastard that hurt her did what he did to her? Because I was too busy with my head in the damn clouds instead of on the mission, that’s why!”  
“Did you know the ancient gene would tell you where she was? Hell, Jack if the woman I loved had been taken from me and I couldn’t find her – do you think I would think to sit down and say hey let’s have a meditation party here and figure out what to do? You’re a soldier Jack – a trained killer and one of the best out there – your instinct is to find and eliminate, not sit down and think. When it was brought to your attention that you could find Sam – you did and you went after her. You brought her and Reynolds home to be taken care of. Hell you even saved her life on the plane.”   
Dr. Jennings took a deep breath and then continued.  
“Please, don’t you think it’s time you quit hating yourself for the bad that has happened to you? It isn’t your fault good people get hurt. It isn’t your fault your son died. Jack, don’t look at me like that - IT IS NOT your fault Charlie died and Sara left. It is not your fault that there is bad as well as good in this world and some of us seem to get more bad then good. It’s time to let it all go. You didn’t do this on purpose. You and Major Carter love each other more than two people I have seen in a long time. You deserve each other and if you hadn’t been forced to stay away from each other – you wouldn’t have succumbed so easy when the time came.”  
He looked at Jack and saw the swimming tears in his eyes and rolling down his checks. The man was a hard shell to crack but he may have made a small wedge this time. The man was also hurting and no matter how much he had tried to cover it up, the hurt went all the way back to the day his son shot himself. He got up, sat on the couch next to Jack, and put his hand on his back. The man needed a good cry. Hell he did not know if he had ever had one or not. The armor he had built up around his heart and emotions was solid. Killing was a lot easier for him than hurting was. That was why anger penetrated so deep in him, because he would not let the hurt out.   
Jack suddenly felt as if he could not breathe. He did not understand what was happening. It felt as if his heart was breaking in half – as if his chest was crushing against his backbone and the breathing became harder and harder. Suddenly – he screamed – a scream worse than the one Jacob had heard on the plane. This was a scream that held years and years of hurt –, of a mother leaving him when he was a child as if he were nothing but a piece of throw away clothes, of men under his command dying, of not being home when the only member of his family died alone of a heart attack. The hurt of watching a seven-year-old boy die from a gun he thought had been put out of harm’s way. Hurt from a woman who left him because he could not show her his pain. Hurt because the woman he loved now he was denied.  
Dr. Jennings heard the words coming out between the sobs and he had to hold his own hurt back for Jack. He had just sat through a session with Sam the day before and she had talked about the hurt that she knew Jack was going through – and she blamed herself that he hurt so much because she could not get him to talk to her. She did not realize that Jack had talked to her more than he had anyone about what he had gone through. He did not watch the time nor worry about other appointments. There was none scheduled today anyway. Jack was always his last patient because he never knew how the meetings were going to end.   
QQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQ

Sam sat on the window bench in her room. She was glad that they had finally agreed to move her out of the trauma ward into a private room. It was so much more peaceful here. She let her thoughts wonder to Jack. She wondered if he knew yet that she still loved him – that she would always love him. She just hoped he could forgive her for the pain she seemed to constantly cause him. She wanted so bad to see him but she was sure he did not want to see her. Janet had told her this morning when she had finally been brave enough to ask about Jack that he had been given down time. She did not tell her why and she wondered if it had to do with him disobeying the orders to stay at Area 51. “Could he have been given down time because he was injured and she didn’t know it. Oh God! Had he done something to himself when she had left the mountain and didn’t tell him where she was going? Had she caused him more pain while trying to keep him from hurting?”  
Sam jumped up from the window quicker than she realized and had to grab the lower part of her stomach. She got to the phone and dialed Janet’s emergency number. She knew no matter what Janet was doing she would answer her on that line.   
Janet heard her phone ring and looked at the caller id. It was coming from Colorado Springs Medical. There was only one person she knew there. She answered the call before it had time to ring again.   
“Sam, what’s the matter honey? Are you ok?”  
“Janet, what’s wrong with Jack? Why did he have to leave the mountain? What are you not telling me? He would not have left just to leave and you said yourself that the General had given him down time but didn’t say anything about Teal’c and Daniel having downtime – I know for a fact that they are both still working because I have talked to them. What’s going on, Janet? Is Jack ok?”  
QQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQ  
The bathroom door slammed shut and Mary ran to the phone. She had seen him pick up the gun off the bedside table when he had seen the bruise across her face. The hurt and pained look that shot across his eyes was enough for her to know what he was thinking when she heard the click of the bathroom door lock  
QQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQ  
Remember my friends – the name of the chapter is hurt! Don’t get angry with me just bare with me a little longer and we will get there.


	20. Love to last a lifetime!

Love to last a lifetime!

Jack watched Dr. Jennings as he talked on the phone. He knew it had to be an emergency or the doc would not have stopped in the middle of their session to take a call. Then he heard the name Mary and that caught his attention. He was up and by the phone in a flash. Doc Jennings looked over at Jack and then turned on the speaker for the desk phone. Jack could not stop the shiver when he heard the woman’s voice on the other end. Mary was hysterical, and sounded like a woman who was going to lose the only reason she had for living.  
“He’s in there and he won’t let me in. Doctor, he has his gun – Oh God, he’s going to kill himself!! What am I supposed to do?! How do I stop him?”  
“Mary, it’s Jack, listen to me. You have got to calm down – I know it’s hard but you need to listen to what I am telling you. Where are you right now?”  
“I am sitting here at the bathroom door! He has it locked, Jack – he has locked me out aaand, and I cannnn’tt get in!”   
He could hear the tears in her voice as Mary answered him. He could also tell that she was getting more and more hysterical. He wanted so bad to be there with her, to stop this on his own. Jack knew he was only ten minutes away from the subdivision where they lived, with his lights on he could make it there in five but he did not want to lose the connection with her either.  
“Mary listen to me. In a minute you are going to hear Al’s cell phone ringing. Stay on your phone but go get his. I will be on that line and Dr. Jennings is going to be on this one. Do no hang up, Mary. I do not want to lose this connection with you.”  
“Are you coming, Jack? Please tell me you are coming to save him! He doesn’t know what he’s doing!”  
Mary heard the other cell phone on Albert’s side of the bed ringing. She got up and ran over to pick it up. She heard Albert move in the bathroom and what sounded like glass breaking. She heard him cussing as she answered the phone and went back to the bathroom door. Her knees gave out and she slid to the floor, pulling her legs up to her chest.  
“Mary, are you there? Mary, answer me! Do you have the other phone?”  
“Oh god! Jack you’ve got to hurry! He has broken the glass in the bathroom. I don’t know what he is doing in there! I’m scared, Jack! I am so scared!!”  
Dr. Jennings realized that Mary was now talking to Jack on the other phone. He hung up and called the SGC. He needed to see if he could get a hold of Janet. She and Mary had gone to college together and then separated when Janet went in the Air Force. When Reynolds was transferred to the SGC, Mary and Janet met up again and their friendship was stronger than ever. Dr. Jennings really could not say who she was the closest to, Major Carter or Mary. He did however know that Mary needed a friend as much as Albert did right now and Janet was the closest one to her.   
Jack raced down the highway with his emergency flashers going and blowing his horn. He knew if he got pulled over, it would waste time but most of the officer’s in Colorado Springs knew his vehicle – they knew if he was driving this way it was due to an emergency. He did not care if they thought the emergency had something to do with the Country being in trouble. A good man might die any minute – that was an emergency enough for his flashers.   
He was still talking to Mary. Every once in a while he would have to talk harshly to get her to answer him but he did not want her to zone out and end up hanging up or losing connection. He kept telling her to talk to Reynolds and make him answer her. That way Jack would know that he had not succeeded in what he was obviously attempting to do. He told her that if she had to get mean to get him to answer her, then that’s what she had to do.   
“Al, you know what will happen to me and the girls if you do this? We will end up with no help at all! The government will desert us! They don’t pay insurance to families whose spouses have committed suicide. You hear me, Al? Do you hear what I am saying?”  
“Mary, you know you got people out there that would take care of you and the girls. You know you would be better off without me. God, Mary, look at yourself! I knocked the crap out of you and didn’t even know it! Do you know what kind of men goes around hitting on their wives – do you Mary?”  
Jack heard the conversation going back and forth from Reynolds and Mary. He also heard the tears in not only Mary’s voice but in Reynolds also. Reynolds sounded like a man who had already made up his mind about what needed to be done. And the worst thing about it – is he thought what he was going to do would be a good thing for Mary and the girls. Jack pushed even harder on the gas. Damn, it seemed like this was the longest five minutes of his life!  
Jack also prayed that the signal would stay strong enough until he got to their house. Just as he pulled in the driveway, he heard Mary screaming through the phone. It caused him to shiver from his head to his toes.   
“No Albert! No Please don’t say that! How can you say I would be better off without you? Oh God! I love you, I cannot live without you! How can I go on if you are not beside me?”  
Jack knew without having to hear him say it what Reynolds had said – he knew it because he had said those same words to someone he loved once. Right now Reynolds could see nothing in front of him but the ugliness that he had caused others. That was why he felt he needed to end this life, he did not want that ugliness to effect Mary or the girls. Jack knew Reynolds was very close to making that final decision. He prayed he was not too late to stop him. Surely God would not make him witness another helpless soul take their own life.   
QQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQ  
Janet had left the SGC and was heading to Colorado Springs Hospital when she saw the call from Dr. Jennings. She did not even have to think about who had a scheduled session with him today. Tuesday’s at four had been Jack’s day and time since this whole thing started. She had heard about what took place at the last session with Jack. She could not help but hope that she was not being called back to his office to doctor another black eye, busted nose and bloody mouth.   
“Mitchell, please tell me you did not antagonize that man again! You know what he is like, especially right now. I swear if you have then…..”  
Dr. Jennings cut her off before she could finish and when he started talking, Janet could actually hear the fear in his voice. Dear God, Jack did not do something irrational, did he?   
“Janet, where are you?”  
“I was on my way to see Sam. She called me really upset. She thinks Jack has done something to hurt himself because I slipped and made the comment that he was sent off of the base. I am on my way there to try to calm her down. What’s going on, Mitchell?”  
“Do you think she would do anything to hurt herself before you can get there if it takes you a little longer?”  
“No, she is nowhere near that stage. I think she just wants to make sure Jack is okay. That he hasn’t gotten hurt and we haven’t told her. She will be okay until I get to her.”  
“Okay, call her and let her know you will be there to see her but it’s going to be a little while. Janet you have to get to Albert and Mary’s house. Mary called here. Albert has his gun and has locked himself up in the bathroom. I don’t know what caused it. Jack is on his way there now – should be there by now. I am leaving and heading over as soon as I get off the phone with you.”   
“Oh God! Okay, I will and I will meet you there!”  
Janet hung up and called Sam back. No matter how much she tried to keep from telling Sam what was going on, Sam knew there had to be a good reason why she would put her off and Janet finally had to tell her.   
“Oh God, Janet! Jack cannot walk in on something like that! Not with Charlie shooting himself and dying! It will bring all kind of nightmares back to Jack. Is there any way you can call here and have me released? I need to be there for him in case the worst happens. Janet, he cannot face this alone!”  
“No Sam! You will stay where you are! You are not in good enough health to go anywhere! Now you make a choice right here and now. If you are that worried about Jack – give me the permission I need to tell him where you are. I will make sure he goes to you the minute all of this is over. But I will not have you tear up what healing we have already accomplished when there is nothing you can really do at Colonel Reynolds’ house. The best hope for Jack when this is through is to know that he can go to you and you will hold him like you should do. Now what is your answer? One way or the other, you are not leaving that hospital.”  
Janet could hear Sam in the background walking back and forth. Janet knew that her mind was moving faster than her feet were. If she gave Janet the okay to tell Jack where she was – then she had to be ready to face the next step. And she was not sure if she was ready to look at Jack and tell him that she was sorry that she had hurt him. Because then she would find out that Jack that the same had felt the same way about him causing her pain and all of this could have been prevented if they had only talked to each other.  
“Yes, Janet, you can tell him – but you better make sure he comes straight here when this is over. I need to know that he is alright. I need to know that Colonel Reynolds is alright and I will know that when I look at Jack. Will you make sure he comes here, even if he is still angry at me?”  
“Yes, Sam but as I have told you before – Jack is not angry at you. He is angry at himself just as you are angry at yourself. I have to let you go now in case Dr. Jennings tries to call me back.”   
Sam hung up from Janet and prayed she had done the right thing. She had not seen Jack since the day he had stormed out of her hospital room, angry and hurting. It was later that same day that Sam had told Janet she wanted to be moved and not tell Jack. She knew she was wrong in doing it. She had known she was wrong the whole time she was telling Janet not to tell Jack. But she could not help it. The truth was, she was tired of hurting. She was tired of seeing Jack hurting. They would continue to hurt if they were around each other. She had tried to give them time to put everything back in the box. But there was no putting in back in the box this time. And this time it hurt even worse because of what had transpired between them. They could never experience what they had experienced at the hotel together and that hurt so much.  
Those nights together were like heaven and now to remember them made her feel as if she were in hell. Sam felt her eyes burning from the unshed tears. She was so willing to give up her position at the SGC if it meant that her and Jack could spend the rest of their lives together but Jack would never allow it. Just like she would not allow him to retire so they could be together – they both loved what they did too much.   
Then again, maybe it was time to let it go. The jumping from planet to planet. Getting shot by whatever alien or Goa’uld decided they wanted to shoot at them. Winding up hurt, or even worse dead and someone else coming along and healing them just so they could do it all over again. Maybe deep down the gate just was not as appealing as it had been at one time.   
Maybe when Jack came by, IF he came by, maybe it was time for them to sit down and really talk about what they wanted for their future – together and not what the government wanted for their future.  
QQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQ  
Reynolds had slid down to the floor with his back against the inside of the bathroom door. He had heard what Mary was telling him. He knew she was right. He knew that if he took his life there would be no help from the government. Even though the bastards that had allowed this to happen, worked for their government, they would not bend the rules for Mary. But they had enough money saved up that she and the girls would be okay.   
He laid his head against the door and he heard her whispering on the other side. Telling him how much she loved him. Telling him how much she needed him. That she would not make it without him. God, his head hurt so bad. He just wanted the pain to end, the nightmares to stop and even more – he wanted his family to feel safe again in their own home.   
The image of her face came back to haunt him and he could not handle it. This was the third time that he had lost control of himself. The first two times he had lost it, he had been sleeping and woken up from a nightmare. She had told him about it the next day when he had seen the bruises on her upper arms where he had grabbed her and shook her, thinking she was an enemy that needed to be taken care of.   
The second time, she had awakened to find him standing with his gun aimed at her, looking as if he did not know where he was or who she was. He had scared her so bad that she could not stop shaking for the longest time. He had finally called Doc Frazier over and she gave her a tranquillizer. They had made an appointment the next morning to go see Dr. Jennings and Reynolds had asked him did he think he needed to be locked up to keep Mary safe. Mary flatly refused to allow that to happen. She would not allow her husband to be put somewhere where she was not able to take care of him herself, was her exact words.  
God he loved her so much! More than he had ever loved anything in his life. The love he had for her was so deep, it actually hurt when he was not around her. How could he love her that much and yet hurt her? What kind of person was he?   
QQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQ  
Jack slammed into the front door and felt it give. He could have called Mary to come let him in but he did not want her to leave where she was. He also did not want Reynolds to know he was there until he absolutely had to know. He had not heard anything else over the phone since she had screamed. He had tried to get her to answer him while he had parked his truck but all he could hear was crying. He rushed down the hallway and past the bathroom that the girls used. He knew then that they were in their bedroom and Reynolds was in the master bathroom. Damn, all the glass in that bathroom- what the hell had he broken and for what reason if he had his gun with him.   
The first thing Jack noticed was Mary sitting against the bathroom door, legs pulled up so tight against her chest, Jack did not know how she could draw in a breath, crying and begging Reynolds to talk to her. She had not even noticed that Jack had arrived. As he walked towards the bathroom door, intent on kicking the blasted thing in, he noticed the nightstand table. If Reynolds had taken his gun, why was his clip on the table?   
Unless he had unloaded it the night before for safety and was so out of it when he grabbed it today that he did not notice the clip sitting there. He knew he did not have another clip with him. He and Reynolds were alike in that way. They only left one clip out at a time. A habit that had been enforced in them both. The back-up clips were kept on their belts in the holders. Well, that was a big heaping of luck.   
Obviously Reynolds had not noticed yet that the gun was not loaded, or was that why the glass had been broken. Did he know he did not have a clip and he was going to cut his wrists? Hell, he had to get in there. The only problem was what would Reynolds do if he heard someone trying to get in the door. Would that cause him to do harm to himself faster?   
Jack did not know but he knew he was not going to be able to stop him by being on the outside. He had to get Reynolds out of the bathroom and to Mary. Seeing Mary, the way she was right now would be the only thing that might trigger something in Reynolds mind. Maybe make him realize the pain he was causing her by pulling this stunt was worse than any pain he had already caused her.  
Jack squatted down beside Mary and felt the pain pull in both of his knees. “Oh for crying out loud! He can’t be worrying about his own self right now! He had a man depending on him and he would not screw this up!” Jack heard the thoughts race across his brain. He knew what Dr. Jennings would tell him if he heard the thoughts – he was not to blame if the worst scenario was to happen here today. He had nothing to do with it. But he could not help it, he had to help his men no matter where the trouble was at.  
“Mary” Jack whispered, hoping Reynolds did not hear his voice. He needed him to think that Jack was still on the phone. If Reynolds figured out he was here, in his house, it may cause a predatory reflex, making him think Mary was in trouble. “I need you to talk to him. I need you to make him remember how much you two love each other. Remind him of the good times you have been through. Remind him of Charity’s and Faith’s birth – make him remember!”  
“He won’t listen to me! I have tried and he won’t listen! All he keeps saying is how much better off we would be without a crazy person around! God Jack I need him! I can’t lose him!”  
Mary raised her head off of her arms and Jack had to strain to keep from showing a look of anger across his face. When he saw the bruise that ran from her eye across her check, he understood why Reynolds was in the shape he was in. Hell, he had never hit Sara, had never even scared her because he kept from going into a deep sleep, but he remembered the night he scared the heck out of Sam and he hated himself for the longest time afterwards. If he had hit her, he may have been in the same predicament that Reynolds was in right now. Seeing Mary made him think of Janet, and he realized just how out of control he had been.  
“Listen to me. I have got to get in there to him but I need him to be preoccupied. If he realizes that someone is coming in, I don’t know what he might do. I need you to talk to him, while I go in through the door in the hallway.”   
“You can’t. We put a shelf in front of that door.”  
“That’s not a problem. You just keep him talking, okay? Mary you have to do this – if you love that man in there the way I know you do – you are going to have to prove it to him now. He doesn’t think he is good enough for you anymore. I know, I have been there. Prove him wrong! Even if I get to him – you still need to do this or your marriage is over. Trust me I know.”  
Mary sat up and looked at Jack. She saw the same sad haunting look that she saw in Albert’s eyes sometimes. God, she wish she had every s.o.b that ever thought it was a good idea to train a man until there was almost nothing human left in him Because when they finally found love, the chances of them being able to stay sane was so far and in between. She looked more determined than when she had first looked at him. Hopefully it would be enough. Just then he heard someone behind him and he turned around to see Janet and Dr. Jennings standing there. He did not know how long they had been there but Mary was going to need Janet when this was over and Reynolds was going to need the doc. He walked out into the hallway to where the other door was that led to the master bath and he waited until he heard Mary talking.   
“Al, listen to me. I know you are still there because I can feel you. You are right up against the door just like I am. I don’t have to see you to know that – I can feel you anywhere in this house. That is how close we are. I can feel you when you are hurting, I can feel you when you are in pain and I can feel you when you are lost in a place without me. I know that you would never hurt me intentionally. I know that you do not mean the things you are doing now or the things you are saying. I know this because I would never do it to you intentionally.”  
She took a deep breath and saw Janet nodding her head at her, urging her to continue. She was still crying but she was also sounding a lot stronger than she had been earlier. The added assurance of the friends that they had was helping her.  
“Do you remember how you chased me around the campus when you wanted me to marry you and I kept telling you no? Do you know why I did that? I will tell you why. Because I loved the fact that all the other girls got to see you chasing after me, begging me to marry you. It gave me the greatest feeling in the world. To have this gorgeous service man chasing me, a lowly freshman. I thought I was Scarlett and you were Rhett Butler. You were so much older than me, giving me so much of your time. When I finally said yes to you, it was the happiest day of my life. I felt like nothing would ever replace that happiness in my life.”  
Jack waited for Mary to continue. He had worked the door open just enough that the shelf in front of it had started to move. The last thing he wanted to do was scare Reynolds. He could barely see into the room, and he wanted to be able to scout the location of Reynolds before he went charging in. If he was in front of the other bathroom door the way Mary felt he was, then Jack knew he would only have to move this door just a couple more inches and he should see him.   
“Then you did something even greater than asking me to marry you. You gave me two little girls. Two beautiful twin girls. And Albert, every day that I look at them – I see more of you. More of your looks, your love, your determination. They have achieved so much already and the reason why is because they see us and what we have achieved in our lives with each other.”  
Jack had the door opened enough now that he could see Reynolds. He knew Reynolds had to be really out of it or he would have heard Jack. He was trained just as well as Jack was. He noticed that he had his head leaning back on the bathroom door, eyes closed, listening to Mary. Tears were rolling down both cheeks and Jack had to choke back his own when he saw him. His heart went out to them both. This felt so close to home that he almost felt himself slip back into his memories. But right now he had a job to do and it was going to come out right.   
He edged the door a little farther opened and waited again with abated breath. He only needed a few more inches. Mary just needed to keep talking just a little more. He could tell that Reynolds had broken the mirrors that circled their garden tub and he was trying to see if he had any cuts that were dangerous. Then he saw it, the piece of glass that Reynolds held in his hand. He had it aimed over his wrist but he had stopped when he had heard Mary talking to him. Jack knew what had happened. He had been there before. Reynolds had escaped the moment he was in right now. His mind had taken on a defense mechanism and had allowed him to relive his memories. Jack doubted if Reynolds even realized that he was still in the bathroom, sitting on the floor, contemplating committing suicide.  
Just when Mary started again, Jack pushed the door, a little harder this time and the shelf gave. Before Reynolds even had time to register what had happened, Jack was beside him. Reynolds jumped up, ready to defend his house against whoever this was that had barged in. Jack watched him, waiting to see realization dawn in his eyes. He knew the last thing he needed was for Reynolds to take on a defensive attitude. He would rather he came at him as an aggressor then to become defensive. Becoming defensive would make him think that Mary had someone willing to take care of her and he could achieve what he had come in here to do. Becoming an aggressor, predator, would make him think that Mary needed him and he would fight for her.  
Dr. Jennings watched what was unfolding in the bathroom from the door that Jack had gone through. He just prayed that before this was over, Reynolds was with Mary and Jack and Reynolds both were alive. Because fighting between two Special Forces trained black ops was not a pretty thing to behold.  
QQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQ  
I know it’s been a long road guys – but we are getting there – I promise! Things will start looking up real soon. Just hold on.


	21. Bridges

Bridges

General Hammond slowly set the receiver back into its cradle and rubbed his tired eyes. Would it never end? He had known the whole time the order was given to him that it was the wrong thing to do but who argues with the President. He had known that if he let Samuels out of his sight – he would never see him again. And it appears he was correct. The call he had just finished confirmed it. Samuels had been killed in an accident when the car that was transporting him to Washington lost control and went over the side of a mountain ridge. It caught on fire and all occupants were killed. Some would consider it justice but Hammond just could not help but wonder whose hands may have been involved with “the accident” as they were calling it. Now they not only had lost another witness, but someone they may have cracked enough to give them the one name they all so desperately wanted to hear. Kinsey!   
QQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQ  
Vice President Kinsey leaned back in his plush chair and smiled. Another one bites the dust as the old song goes and he could not help but laugh as he thought of the look on O’Neil’s face when he heard the news. Oh they may have thought they had him right where they wanted him, but they needed to look again. He was still sitting real pretty and soon he would be one office up. Things would cool off soon concerning the whole incident with Colonel O’Neill and Major Carter and then his next plan would go into action. No one really expected him to stay just as a vice president, did they? That would be like telling a child who lost a game that it only mattered how you played. Such crap! He wanted the big chair and he would get it.  
Kinsey was not worried about the fact that the Goa’uld he made agreements with had left this planet unsatisfied. It was not his problem that the people he had gotten to work for him had not completed their assignments the correct way. This Goa’uld who assumed he was a god needed to understand that there was only one God and Kinsey had no doubt that he was high up on His charts. He had nothing to worry about from anyone. He felt sure that if the one and only true God that he believed in had not stopped him by now then he obviously agreed with Kinsey about what he had been doing.   
Oh, he would not fool anyone or claim that he had not been worried when he had first heard that O’Neill had lived. But that was fine – just gave him another chance at destroying the pain in the butt and he would, eventually. Even if he had to wait until he became President. He would get everything he wanted, everything he felt he deserved and never have to hear the name Jonathon Jack O’Neill again. That would be a day of celebration in his books.  
QQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQ  
The nurse watched her as she made another long pass across her private room. The young lady would be the first to ever do it, but the nurse honestly believed that she was going to walk a hole in the concrete floor of the hospital room. Sam Carter was so lost in her thoughts she had not even noticed the nurse standing there.   
She was thinking about Jack and what she had agreed to with Janet. He would be coming up here today to see her as soon as things were under control at Colonel Reynold’s home. She prayed everything was going okay there and that between Jack, Janet and Dr. Jennings – no one would get hurt. She did not want to think about what poor Mary was going through right now. She knew how Jack was when he got lost in his memories and it was not a happy situation. It was downright scary to be truthful. But she loved him just like Mary loved Colonel Reynolds so she knew without a shadow of a doubt that Mary was doing everything possible to keep her husband alive.  
Jack was there in the middle of all of it and knowing he had to face what he may be having to face made Sam’s heart hurt for him. She knew him well enough to know he was more than likely blaming himself for what Mary and Colonel Reynolds were going through. But that was Jack and once you were under his command it did not matter if it was on duty or off – he felt he was responsible for you. Not only that but knowing that Reynolds would not be going through this had she not gone to Area 51 did not help Sam either and that was something else she knew Jack was thinking because she had heard him make the comment that if he had kept his head on the job instead of in the clouds, she and others would not have gotten hurt.  
Sam also knew she blamed herself for Colonel Reynolds health status. But was there really anything she could have done to keep this from happening. Being with Jack did not have anything to do with what had happened at Area 51. The plan had been set in motion before she had even talked Jack into sharing a room with her. It was not like she went there because of something she wanted to do on her own. She had been given that mission through the service and she had followed orders. And no matter what Jack thought, the sleeping together had not in no way kept him from doing his job.  
Sam was glad now that they had had those special days and nights together. She was so afraid there would be no more. God, how was she supposed to face him? She really did want to see him – want was not even the word. She needed to see him, desired to see him. Her soul ached to have him near her but that did not stop her from being scared. She still was not sure how much he had been told about her injuries. Did he know that the possibility of her ever having a child was slim to none? She did not even know if she would even be able to perform the act to get pregnant.  
Would it change his feelings for her once he found out? She wanted to believe that it would not but somehow that was digging way down deep and right now – with no more faith then she had in this whole thing- she felt too tired to dig that deep. Jack loved her, she would never doubt that. But could she put more on him. For all she knew he may be hoping that one day he will have a chance to start again with another child and if she could not give him that – well she just would not do that to him. She loved him too much.   
With one finally pace, Sam had made up her mind. She would see him when he came today but she would just have to let him know straight up that there could never be anything between them but friendship. If she had to she would make him think that all she ever wanted was just a romp in the hay with him. She would end it before he would ever find out just how messed up she really was.  
QQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQ   
Jack heard the scream that ripped through Reynolds throat as he lunged towards Jack. Jack had just enough time to figure out that he was considering Jack a predator and Reynolds was going to get him before he could harm his family. The good thing about this was that once he put his mind on protecting Mary – he no longer felt the need to harm himself. The bad part of this, Jack thought, was what kind of shape was he going to be in by the time Reynolds was through with him. He knew he would never harm Jack on purpose, but Jack also knew that a man protecting his loved ones was dangerous enough, add that to the fact that Reynolds did not even know who he was at this moment, and things just got a heck of a lot worse.  
Jack had no doubt that he could take Reynolds but in the back of his mind he could not help but wonder if he wanted to. Maybe he just needed to let Reynolds beat the crap out of him for a while. Maybe what the guy needed was something to beat on and take all the anger and frustration out on. And who better than him? No he was not feeling sorry for himself but in all reality it was because of him that Ba’al had used Reynolds like a scape goat. Yes, if he had not used him to make Carter think Reynolds was Jack – Reynolds most likely would have been killed straight out.  
Jack felt the fist as it landed against the side of his face and had just enough time to prepare himself when he felt the other one hit him square in the solar plexus. Even knowing it was coming the hit was hard enough to knock Jack back against the wall. Before he even had time to brace himself Reynolds was at him again, this time both fists going as fast as they could. Jack knew he was going to have to start defending himself or he would be killed – Reynolds did not see him as anything other than a danger to his family and he was trying his best to get rid of him.   
Just as Reynolds brought his foot up the second time to catch Jack in the side with it, Jack caught it and used it to swing Reynolds around. Then he shoved him against the other wall and held him there while trying to talk to him. Not only to calm Reynolds down but Jack needed to catch his breath also. He knew it was going to take some effort to get through to Reynolds and the best way was to get his full attention. He was not going to let him go until he realized who Jack was – especially with the others around Mary. That would be really bad, and Jack really did not want to think about the outcome. He could already feel the side of his face swelling and he knew that he had at least one bruised rib if not two. He had to somehow get Reynolds to understand that he was a friendly face not an enemy that needed to be taken out.  
Jack felt some of the tension draining out of Reynolds when he heard Mary’s voice still coming through the bathroom door. It felt as if a calmness washed over Reynolds body as her soothing voice continued to tell him how much she loved him, needed him, and could nor would not live without him. Jack felt the love coming from her as it wrapped itself around the man he was still leaning against, holding firmly against the bathroom door. The same door that his wife sat at on the other side. Jack had never witnessed anything like it before.   
Oh, he knew he had experienced love, he was in love right now. But he could tell that the couple that was facing this right now believed in a higher love that controlled their lives. It had been a long time since Jack had felt God’s power in a situation – but that is exactly what he was feeling taking place here. He felt Reynolds as he slipped to his knees and he knew that though there would still be hard days – the fight for now was over. He squatted beside his friend and almost fell backwards when Reynolds slammed into him, crying, with his face buried in Jack’s chest. The pain was still there, it would be there for a long time but the healing was taking place.   
Jack knocked on the door to let Dr. Jennings or Janet know that it could be opened. Mary was the first one to rush in and Jack slipped from Reynolds as Mary knelt to take his place, both husband and wife crying and praying. Jack slowly backed out of the bathroom and left them alone. As he passed Janet he noticed that Daniel was standing behind her, holding her close and Teal’c was beside Daniel. He had not even known that Daniel had showed up. Janet had called them when she had gotten here and assessed the situation, figuring a couple more strong men would not hurt. She never dreamed that Jack had no intention of allowing another soul in the bathroom with him and Reynolds. Too many people would have caused things to turn a different way than they had and it would not have ended well.  
There was only one member of SG1 missing and God how he missed her. Especially after feeling all the love that just passed by him, radiating from the couple not only in the bathroom but the couple standing in the hallway. Obviously, he could not say anything to Reynolds about not being in reality. Seeing how close Daniel and Janet was, he must have missed some reality time himself. He was not sure how Janet would take him walking past her so he waited until she looked up at him. He realized in her eyes there was no hatred, only sadness. Sadness for him and the one he loved.   
“I believe I owe you an apology, Doc.” Jack made the comment with a half crooked smile on his face. He understood now how easy it had been for him to become threatening and he did not want to leave here with her thinking he was still a threat.   
“I understand more than you will ever know but your apology is accepted. Are you through here, or did you want to hang around while Dr. Jennings and I talked to Mary and Colonel Reynolds?”  
Jack looked back through the bathroom door. Although he would have liked to stay and offer his support if it was needed, he also felt like what he could do had been done. Besides, after glancing between Daniel and Janet, he knew that Daniel would not leave here until she did. He did not see this turning back to something devastating but even if it did Daniel could call him and he would be here in no time. No, he wanted to go home. Since where he really wanted to be and who he wanted to be with, was out of the question, he just wanted to go home. He was even thinking of calling the General and seeing if he could leave Colorado and go home to Minnesota. Back to the cabin where he always seemed to find peace.  
“What’s going to happen to him, Doc?” Jack asked looking at Dr. Jennings. He knew in the past, when a military person would go as far as Reynolds did with an attempt at suicide it was automatic that they went to a psychiatric ward. He was not sure if that would happen here or not. If both doctors felt like they could handle him outside of a hospital, they all knew that would be the best. But this had been a very close call and even though he hated to admit it, Jack knew that there could always be another one. He himself had attempted twice to commit suicide after Charlie’s death. The mission to Abydos was actually the second attempt. No one knew of the other time, besides him, Sara and her father. It was actually her father that had stopped the first attempt and he still held great respect for him, even though he and Sara had separated.   
“We four will talk and see what the best option is and I will let you know since you are his commanding officer on what the decision is. I think we can assume our session is over for today, Jack. I will see you next Tuesday – same time?”  
“Yes, sir.” Jack answered, then with a grin he stated “Just make sure your secretary knows that I was not the reason you had to leave the office today. I don’t like the looks she can give when she thinks I have hurt you.”  
Jack started down the hallway and Janet walked behind him. When he realized she was following him, he turned around and looked at her with questioning eyes. He could tell she wanted to tell him something but she looked like a deer caught in headlights. Jack looked down at her and he could not stop the regret nor the small amount of anger that pushed through the back of his mind. Janet had never looked at him like this and she never would have if he had not scared her like he had. God, he hoped they could get over this bridge and her be able to once again trust him.   
“Janet, did you need to tell me something? I did not think you were leaving?”  
“Jack, I talked to Sam today….”  
Before Janet could say another word she was interrupted by a very scared Jack O’Neill.   
“Doc is there something wrong. Did something happen to Carter? Is she okay?”  
“Jack she has given me permission to allow you to know where she is. If you want to see her, here is the address and the room number. “  
Jack took the paper from Janet’s hand and she noticed that he was actually shaking. Tears were spilling from his eyes. The look he had on his face as he held that piece of paper so tightly was a look of hope – not of fear. It was a look that said maybe, maybe this was the time for them.  
“Jack, she is still very scared and she still blames herself for all that has happened. I have not told anyone but General Hammond what all her injuries consisted of and since you had to leave the base you did not get a chance to read her medical file as you normally would since you are 2IC of the base. Jack, she still has some very serious injuries. If she feels she cannot talk to you about them, I will come up there when we finish here and the three of us can talk.”  
Janet looked back at Teal’c and nodded her head. Jack watched him come over to where the two of them stood.   
“I am sending Teal’c with you just in case you need someone to help you. She is going to fight you. She is going to tell you that you are better off without her. I know this because that is exactly what I would do if I was in her position. Jack, do not let her win this battle. You two love each other, have now for over seven years. It is time for you two to be together. We will work out the details on how to make that happen. Dr. Jennings, General Hammond and I will not let this pass again. You two will not survive this time without each other. So no matter what she tells you, remember how much you love her and fight for it.”  
Janet said these last words and then turned around and walked back towards Reynolds and Mary. Dr. Jennings had gotten them to go into the bedroom and they were sitting on the bed talking. Seems Reynolds had drifted away from Mary while she had been cooking supper and when she had called him he did not answer. She had not noticed that he had mentally left the house and was back in Iraq until it was too late and she had touched his shoulder to let him know that supper was almost ready, to go wash up. He had back handed her without even realizing it was her. The bruise on her face was the first thing he saw when she finally made him realize that it was her he had held down on the floor. That was why he had taken his gun and gone to the bathroom. The nightmares were now becoming day phases and that was scary. Dr. Jennings knew that they were going to have to do something drastic to help Reynolds and he was afraid that the hospital may be the only answer. He just had to get Mary to agree. Then again, he felt it would not hurt for Mary to have some one on one counseling time.   
Jack listened a minute longer, then he and Teal’c walked out to his truck. He opened the piece of paper that Janet had placed in his hand and actually had to laugh. She had been right here in the same town with him all this time. Colorado Springs Medical was about 30 minutes away from the SGC but he had not even checked there. He had assumed since Carter had wanted him not to know where she was – she had picked a hospital outside of Colorado. God, he could have found her had he known this. Then again, would he have been prepared if he had found her right after she had been moved or would it have been nothing but another hurt between the two of them. If she thought the way Janet seemed to think she did, then she did not think Jack would want her even now. There is no way she would have been willing to listen to him when she was first moved.  
As he drove to the hospital, he could not help but think about what all he and Sam had been through in the past seven years. He had not been lying when he had told her that he loved her the first time he had seen her. And through the years, that love had grown stronger and stronger. After the nights they had spent together, he knew he would not be able to live a normal life without her beside him. He had to hope she felt the same. He just could not believe that the love she had shown him when they were together was anything other than true love.  
“I know what you are thinking, O’Neill. Believe me Major Carter loves you as much as you love her. It is because you two love each other that you both are so stubborn when it comes to talking.”  
Jack looked at Teal’c as if someone else had taken over his body. For Teal’c to say something that profound and that long was very uncommon but Jack knew from times in the past that when he did say something the Jaffa warrior was usually correct. He could not disagree with him either; they were both stubborn. Jack honestly believed that is what made their teamwork so strong. Maybe that is what their love so strong too. Hopefully strong enough to get them through this.  
He sat in the truck for a few minutes after he had parked. He could feel his body tensing up and it scared the crap out of him. He was not this nervous when he was going into battle. Heck, he was not this nervous when he had asked Sara to marry him. As a matter of fact, he did not believe he had ever been this nervous in his life. He remembered back to the day Charlie had been born. He had just gotten off of the plane from a mission when he got on another one to head to Sara. She had gone in labor early and they were worried. But he had handled it like he was on the warfront and not like he was getting ready to greet his son for the first time.  
Jack jumped out of the truck when he realized that Teal’c was already out and heading towards the hospital. The nervous tick continued all the way up the elevator ride and through the halls until he was standing outside of her door. Teal’c had stopped at the waiting room at the end of the hall, raising an eyebrow at Jack like a school teacher would. Telling Jack without any words that this was between him and Major Carter but he would be there if Jack or Sam needed him.   
Jack knocked once then proceeded to open the door. She was sitting at the window looking out of it. He could not believe she was right here, right where he could reach out and touch her if he wanted to. Did he want to? Yes, more than anything in the world he wanted to take her in his arms and hold her until the world slipped away from them both. He wanted to let her know with his touch that she was still the only thing worth living for in his life.   
Jack could tell the way Sam had tensed that she knew it was him that had entered her room. She turned slowly around and he held his breath waiting to see her face. “What would she do? Would he see love or hate in her eyes? Was she willing to forgive him for slipping up and letting her get captured.” The thoughts raced through his mind until he saw her face. Then he did not care. All he knew was that he loved her, more than anything  
Sam had turned around with the intent of telling Jack straight out that it was over. That there had never really been anything there and time away from him had proven that. But when she saw him, saw his eyes, his face, just him period, she knew that she was lying to herself. She could never look at him and tell him that she did not love him. There was no way and if he saw the same look in her eyes that she saw in his, she did not even have to tell him she loved him. It was written in their eyes as much as brightness was written in the stars.  
Tears sprung from both of their eyes as they held each other closer than anyone had ever been held. God, how were they going to get through this and hide their feelings the way they have had to for the last years? They would not be doing that again. That was clear between them, there would be changes made. But it would be hard because the big shots had made it plain that they would not be losing Carter or O’Neill. But Jack O’Neill had news for them. He had fought and saved Earth enough, it was his and Sam’s time now. He did not know how they would do it but it would happen.   
Sam was thinking the same thing. When she looked into his eyes, she could not hide the yearning that was there to just escape with him.  
“Let’s go away together….somewhere……do we have to name a place? Couldn't we just sail away until we found where the sun and the moon rest on the waters? Could we just sail away until the whole world looks as beautiful as the ocean waves? Could we sail away until the love we have for each other is enough to sustain us where we don't even need food anymore? Could we sail away until we are so wrapped up with each other that we become one? Can’t we do this, Jack? Can we not for once forget about what we need to do or should do and do for us?”  
Jack pulled her close and held her tight against him. He was tired. She was tired. It was time for a change. But how?

Maybe Hammond could figure something out, but then the General was just as he and Sam were. They were all military. The President was your boss and what he said went. God, how were they going to make this work? Before he or Sam either one had a chance to say a word to each other, a blinding light engulfed the enter room and when it went out there was not a soul left in the room. Next thing Jack knew, he and Sam were standing on the bridge of an Asgard ship, and for the first time he could have sworn there was a smile on Thor’s lips.  
QQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQ  
Guys I think we are getting somewhere!


	22. Helping Hands - Big and small!

Helping hands – big and small

Jack looked around and spotted Thor standing behind the control center of his latest ship. Then his eyes locked back onto Sam and he knew that maybe just maybe they would be able to get somewhere with the way they felt about each other. If Thor would stand up for them, maybe he could convince the government brass to allow him and Sam to have a relationship and stay with the SGC or retire. Right now, retirement was not a bad idea to him.   
“Major Carter, O’Neill – I brought you here so that you could have some time alone to talk without being interrupted. You both have things that need to be dealt with and unfortunately, as long as you are on your world – your world will come first. I have the ship under mind control, you two have free access to anywhere on the ship. I would suggest you find a place that you can communicate with each other.”  
Thor then looked at Major Carter and he did not hesitate with his next words.  
“Major Carter, I can attempt to heal your body. As you know there are other races who have the healing technique besides us. I am willing to help see if you can be healed, if and only if, you tell O’Neill everything he needs to know about your body and what was done with it. However, there is not another race that can heal your spirit, nor your emotions. That healing will come only from you and O’Neill. If you are not willing to tell him everything so that you two may heal each other, then there is no need in anyone trying to heal your body for you will never really be with the person your soul belongs to.”  
Thor finished speaking and before Jack or Sam knew what was happening, he had disappeared right in front of them.   
Jack looked at Sam and saw the unease which she was standing, fidgeting back and forth. He did not know what all had been done to her but he knew she was in pretty bad shape when they had found her. Not only that, but her heart had stopped on the plane coming back to the mountain. So yeah, she had gone through quite a lot. Did he want to know what kind of torture that sick bastard had imposed on her? Not really, but if it would help her heal – then he would sit and listen to her all day.  
“Man, the hospitality around here kinda sucks, ya know Carter, I mean the least the guy could’ve done was left some cake.” Jack said the words with a lop-sided smile, trying to ease Carter’s apprehension.   
“I would have left you some nourishment, O’Neill but Major Carter does not find our food to her liking. I can send some if you would like.” The voice came from the speaker in the ship and Jack looked around waiting to see Thor but it was just his voice.   
“He is right, you know. Their food is not the most appealing.” Carter said the words just barely loud enough for Jack to hear her. Jack looked back at her and felt pain rising from inside of his soul. God, she looked so scared and frightened. She should know she does not have to be frightened of him. He would never cause her to doubt his love.  
He walked towards her and she held a hand up to stop him. She wanted him to hold her like he had in the hospital room but now that the first initial reaction of seeing him again was over and Thor’s words buzzing in her head she was not sure how to proceed with this. Sam did however know that if he came any closer she would never be able to tell him all she had to say.  
Sam turned and started to walk down a corridor. She could hear Jack walking behind her and she speeded up a little.   
“Carter” Jack said her name with patience as he tried not to cause her to start running but she was not stopping.  
“Sam” Again, Jack called out to her.   
“I just need time to think, Sir.” Sam said the words almost breathless. Jack knew her heart was pounding out of her chest. She really was scared he was going to leave her. Knowing she had called him Sir had confirmed it.  
“Samantha!” Jack said her name with more authority than he ever had and Sam stopped. With head bowed and hands fisted by her side, she stood stone still and waited for him to reach her. Tears were already filling her eyes and running down her face. What had happened to her in that building before he could get to her?   
“Talk to me, Samantha. You have got to tell me what is going on so I can help you. You can’t keep holding it all in like this. It is going to destroy you.”  
“I can’t! Jack don’t you understand, I can’t lay more on you. You have so much already – why should you have to deal with another….”  
Sam stopped before she finished the sentence and begin to walk even faster down the corridor. Jack watched her with a puzzled look across his face. Then it all came crashing down – it all begin to make sense. Sam was not running from him because she did not love him or want him. She was not hiding from him because she felt he had hurt her – it was the other way. She was running and hiding because she felt she had hurt him, had let him down and whatever it was that she needed to tell him – whatever had happened to her while she was with Ba’al she was afraid was going to hurt him and turn him against her even more.   
Before Sam knew what had happened, Jack had caught her arm and was pulling her around to face him. She had already started clutching the bottom of her stomach and when he turned her with more force then he realized, it caused her to slam into his chest. The cry of pain that left her was something Jack hoped he would never hear from her again. He gathered her in his arms and slid down to the floor, holding her against him. The tears of pain, anger and fear ran down her face and he could feel them dropping on the arm that circled her, mixing with his own.   
“Oh my Samantha, don’t you understand. Nothing that has happened to you – nothing that could possibly change you in anyway has changed the love I have for you. I have loved you since the day you dared me to arm wrestle you and the only way it has changed it to grow deeper. Each time we stuffed it in a box or locked it away or denied it to keep our superiors from knowing what was going on – all it did was cause me to love you more, to hurt more because I could not have you beside me in bed every night.”  
Jack took a deep breath and pushed Sam’s hair behind her ear and replaced it with a soft kiss. Continuing talking to her, he pulled her even closer against him – mindful of her stomach and whatever pain she had there.   
“When we spent those days together in Nevada, it was the best days I had since I don’t know when. I felt more love in my body then I felt since Charlie died. God, Sam you and only you are the reason I want to go on living any more. If it had not been for you, the Nox would not have been able to bring me back when I died after getting shot.”  
Sam looked up at Jack, eyes wide. This was the first she had heard of him getting shot and dying. She had known that the Nox had been there and that there was something going on but she did not have the details. Jack cupped her chin and looked straight into her watering sapphire eyes.   
“Don’t look at me like that. I mean it. I do not want to live if I have to live without you. I don’t care at this point what is going on inside of you. You are mine and mine alone and I will fight to the ends of the earth to get you to understand that. Now that I know that you are not running from me because you hate me or because you are angry at me, you just lost this fight. You might as well wake up kiddo you are stuck with me until the end of time and beyond if I have my way.”  
Jack held Sam away from him and looked her up and down. As far as he could see the outside of her body had healed well. He knew that it should have with Jacob using the healing device – he just did not understand why she was still hurting on the inside. It was his understanding that the healing device healed everything. He took his hands and beginning with her head and face, he touched every part of her body that he could. It was as if he was hunting for the one thing that still kept her from giving herself over to him completely again, as she had the first night they were together in Nevada.   
Taking his hands in hers to stop them from roaming over the same spots, knowing he was not going to find what he was looking for, she held them up to her face and kissed them. Then in a choked voice she explained what has been scaring her since they came back to the SGC. How he would respond was just what she would have to deal with and handle. She knew what he had said but she also knew that he had not heard everything yet.  
“Jack, you don’t understand. I have lost everything inside of me. The device that Ba’al used on me on the outside, he …….”  
She had to stop because the tears were coming too fast and she could not get the words around the lump in her throat. She had almost reached the stage of hyperventilating. Jack shushed her and held her to him again. It was hard on her but she had to tell him – there was no denying that what had been done had changed her not only physically but also psychologically also. In order for her not to end up in a mental hospital – she was going to have to open up.   
“Sam, take your time. I am not going anywhere. Thor is not going to push us off of his ship in the middle of nowhere. Just breathe and tell me when you can – while we sit here.”  
Sam seemed to calm the more Jack talked to her and soon she was able to breathe again without feeling like she was going to pass out.  
“Jack, Ba’al did not rape me in the way that a man usually rapes a woman. He used the hand device and a fire stick inside of me. He burned me Jack – he burned everything in me that could have ever given us pleasure together. Call me selfish if you want to, but I cannot think of spending my life with you knowing that we may never get to share in the love making that we were able to have in Nevada.”  
Jack had to catch himself to keep from throwing up. He had the fire stick used on him more times than he cared to remember. It made a person lose sense of everything around them. Made you feel like your body was on fire and there was nothing you could do about it. Then when the weapon was finally moved off of your back, stomach or wherever they had placed it – you felt your insides trying to get rid of the pain by causing you to lose anything that may be in your stomach either by throwing up or by messing all over yourself.   
It was a pain he never wanted to go through and each time he did, he prayed that God would let him die. Jack did not even want to imagine what her insides must have felt like or how bad she had begged to die or for him to come and save her. He made a promise right then that if he ever got his hands on Ba’al, the rat bastard would never know the end of pain. He wanted to do nothing but hold her and show her how much he could love her without them having to have actual intercourse. His hand raised to her chin and turned her face to look at him and he saw it.   
Jack saw the look in her eyes and knew there was something else. She was not telling him the whole truth. He knew Samantha Carter well enough to know that she would not base her love for him on only being able to have sex. He sure as hell hoped she knew him better than to think he would!  
“Come on, Sam. Don’t give me that crap. I know you better than that! You would not be hiding away and scared like this just because you could not have intercourse with me anymore. Unless of course, you thought I wouldn’t want you because we couldn’t have sex. Please tell me you know me better than that. God, I would be a fool to stand here and tell you that no it wouldn’t bother me if we never had actual intercourse again. Heck yeah it would bother me – but not to the point I would be willing to walk away from you. Not now! Not ever! There is something else – you’re not telling me the whole truth.”  
“God, Jack! Don’t you get it! You’re not that dense! He took away your only chance to have another child. A child with me. Don’t you understand? You lost one child, why would it be fair for you to live with someone who could never give you another. And I know you want one. I see the way you are towards the children when we visit the different planets. Or when the families of the base get together. You are the happiest when you are surrounded by children. God Jack, you have almost caused our World to go to war because of your protection over an alien child. I could never deny you the happiness of one day having your own child again!”  
Sam started pulling away from Jack, trying to run from him. Her best defense Jack learned that day was to run when she thought she was going to hurt someone she really loved. But no matter how much she pulled and fought him, Jack did not let go. There was no way he was letting her get away from him. All it would take is for her to walk just a few steps where she could not see him and she would believe the lies that her mind was telling her. That he had allowed her to walk away. “Nope – wasn’t a chance in hell of that happening!” Jack thought to himself.   
“Oh God Sam! Yes, believe me! Yes, I want to have another child but I want to have your child and if it is not meant to be then so be it. I will not give you up for that. There are too many children in our world alone that need a genius for a mom and a great dad.”  
He gave her a crooked grin with those words but the grin slowly slid from his face when he could see it was still too early. She was still having trouble believing that this would not one day cause problems between them. Oh God how he loved this Brainiac of a woman. So smart, can do anything in the world with computers but when it came to believing in a simple matter of love – it left her dumb founded. And it all stemmed from the men that had broken her, taken advantage of her and left her wounded and hurting. The latest one not so long ago.  
He had to make her see that he was different. There was only one way to do that. Only one way to prove to her that her body was still just as beautiful to him now as it ever had been. That he was there to sooth her – not abuse her, to help her - not master her, to ensure her stood tall – not to stand over her. And finally to shield her from all who wanted to abuse her, master her or stand over her. He Jonathan Jack O’Neill was now and would always be her protector whether she thought she needed him or not.   
Jack pulled her to him and before Sam knew what was happening his lips was covering hers. Not hard, but so soft it felt like butterfly wings against her lips. She felt the yearnings inside of her and she tried to pull away – wondering why he was doing this when it could not lead anywhere. But as he kissed begin to deepen, her resolve to pull away begin to weaken. Soon his hands moved from cupping her checks to rubbing her arms while his lips traveled from her lips down her throat and over her collarbone.   
Sam was leaning back as far as she could in his arms, swept away by the moment. Jack held onto her as he stood up and moved down the corridor, searching for somewhere other than the floor to prove his point to her. He finally came across a room that Thor had to have morphed straight out of his memories. It was pictured just as his bedroom back at the cabin was pictured. A huge mahogany four poster bed sitting in the center of the room with curtains pulled back and tied to each post. The bed was tall enough that there were actually steps that led up to the side of it. A fireplace in the corner of the room kept it cozy and set the scene for just the mood Jack was looking for.  
Jack walked up the steps and placed Samantha in the center of the bed. Slowly and loving he started at the top of her body and making his way down with his hands and his lips he caressed every piece of skin she had, while uncovering what had been covered with her clothing. Touching and caressing her breast, Jack watched her body give in to her passion while he lay on his side and took it all in.   
God, she was beautiful! What had he done to deserve another chance at love he would never know. She was the most intoxicating thing he had ever seen in his life and he drank her in as if she were his life force. His hands moved from her breast and covered her stomach, caressing it as if letting her know that whatever had happened on her insides would be okay. He was here with her and he was never leaving her. Slowly he moved his lips to follow the path of his hands and he felt her arch into him as his lips covered the very spot on her lower stomach that she had been holding early.   
Jack thought at first that he had hurt her but then he had her moan and knew that it was not because of pain that she had arched the way she had. It was because she was in need of him, she wanted him as badly as he wanted her. Even though he knew what she had told him, he knew there were other ways to make a woman experience an orgasm during sex and that had been his intent. His whole body was feeling the endorphins from her body and the atmosphere was almost as if they were among the stars. Hell, he had not even done anything to her yet and they had already responded to each other to the point where he knew they both had experienced mini orgasms.   
“Jack, I feel so light headed. This is so different from when we were in Nevada the first time we were together. I don’t know what is going on.”  
Sam spoke so softly that Jack could barely hear her. He hushed her gently and continued his downward trail. He reached her inner thighs and he felt her jerk. In the back of her mind she was still so afraid of disappointing him, that she almost moved away from him. He gently held onto her hips and would not let her move. His lips suckled her skin, placing small kisses on every inch of it until her had reached her center.   
Sam knew where he had finally gotten to and she could not help it but she tried to put her legs together. She did not want him to see the burn marks that Janet had told her covered her mound and inner folds. But there was no use in trying to fight him. Jack was not going to let it stop here. He knew what she needed and if he stopped now because she was embarrassed and afraid then he would lose her forever. Besides, they were both too far gone to stop now anyway. He was larger than he had ever been from just touching and caressing her.   
Jack kept kissing her and slowly she quit fighting, giving into the passion that was souring through her body. He blew on her sensitive center and watched her shiver with need. Finally he opened her completely up. At first, what he saw made him so mad he wanted to get up and demand that Thor find Ba’al right away so that he could kill him. Never had the desire to kill another human being been so strong in his soul. But then he remembered why he was here. He remembered that his only concern for the moment was to show Samantha Grace Carter just how much she meant to him and he had all intentions of doing so.   
He kissed her and soon his tongue swept from the bottom of her center to the top and he continued until her little bundle of nerves finally decided to show an appearance. “So, she may have been injured but her body still responded to need. Let’s see if it allows her to give in to the pleasure and have an orgasm.” Jack thought to himself. He captured the bundle and drew it into his mouth, sucking on it as if it were a piece of fruit. Soon he felt her hands in his hair, pulling at him, trying to push him away.   
Jack looked up to see if he was hurting her but it was not pain that covered her face. She was close, very close to achieving the goal that he had set out for her to achieve. He bent back down and slowly began again to caress her, taking turns between kissing, sucking and licking. Suddenly he felt her tense up and he prepared himself. He knew from past experience with her that she always got scared when it came close to her having an orgasm and he knew this time would be no different. Sure enough, she begin to push against his head with her hands and tried to slither away from him but she did not get anywhere. He held on and when she finally gave into the orgasm, he was waiting on it.   
Sam knew she had died. There was no other way to describe what had happened. Her life had ended and it had ended in the best way possible. Maybe she had been dreaming all this time and she was still locked up and with Ba’al and he had finally achieved his goal and she was dying. She felt her body shaking and convulsing and then she felt something else as she slowly came around. She felt him. Jack – the man she loved more than anyone else in the world. More than she loved the stars and science. He was her heart, her very breath. God how could she have ever doubted his love for her?   
Meanwhile, Jack waited. He waited until he knew she was back with him and he started again. Caressing and kissing, taking his cheek and rubbing her inner thighs with it. Loving her in a way that made her feel she had nothing to hide from him. He begin again to work her with his tongue and then something begin to happen. Not only to Sam but to Jack also. He begin to feel heat. Heat radiating all around him but seeming to come from inside of himself.   
What in the heck was going on? He started to move away from Sam but it was like something told him not to stop, to keep caressing her, loving her, showing her how much he cared. The heat intensified with each stroke of his tongue until he felt her starting to quiver again and before he knew it, she was in the throes of another orgasm – this one more powerful than anything he had ever seen or felt before. It was taking all he had to hold her onto the bed.   
Suddenly, Jack did not know what had happened or how it had happened. Maybe it was the pure love that was in the room at the moment but he felt his body giving in to its own desire and he had to hold onto the bed to keep from collapsing on top of Sam. He was having his own orgasm and it was not a light one either. He felt the knotting of his groin and then he exploded and he had to take all of his strength to keep from collapsing on top of Sam.   
Finally, he felt himself coming back to earth. He moved away from Sam and laid on his back, pulling her onto him. He held her against him while she shook from the power of it all and he continued to hold her while she came out of it and into a deep peaceful slumber. Slowly he felt his eyes begin to close, knowing that somehow by someone a lot higher than any alien life form they had encountered, somehow Sam was going to be alright. He knew it deep inside himself. He did not know why he knew it or felt it –he just did. And with that last thought, Jack kissed Sam on the top of her head and drifted off into the most peaceful sleep he had had in a long time.


	23. Great Powers vs small minds

Great Powers, small minds!

 

Thor sat at the head of the table and listened to the bickering going on among the men sitting with him. He was so amazed by this race, that so many could be so different. Take for instance O’Neill and most of the ones here at this Star Gate Command. In his opinion they would finally bring the Tauri into the division of the great races. However, some of the men sitting here would cause the Tauri to fall all the way back to primitive man. He knew it was going to take some negotiations to get what he had requested but he still believed that it was the best chance the Tauri and the Asgard had of over powering the Goa’uld. Why did they have to be so stubborn when they saw the odds that lay before them?  
Daniel sat with Teal’c, Ferretti, Davis, and Barrett on one side of the table with General Hammond. On the opposite side, there was representatives from Area 51, the NID (rogue, though they would never admit it) and the White House. Sitting at the other end, opposite Thor, sat none other than Vice President Kinsey. Daniel wanted nothing more, then to kill the man where he sat and he knew the only thing stopping Teal’c from doing just that was the respect he had for General Hammond. Daniel knew the other three men felt the same as he and Teal’c did. He would not be surprised if General Hammond did not want to kill him, as well.   
Reynolds was the only one from the group that had gone to Area 51 that was not there, besides Jack and Sam. He had gotten his retirement papers pushed through with the President signing off on them. Daniel had spoken to him the week before and he had to admit it had been a long time since he had heard Reynolds talk in such a calm manner. Daniel was glad that he was finally getting what he truly wanted. He would be staying at home with his Mary and letting others take over from now on. He had to admit that he was glad. Daniel just wished the same thing for Sam and Jack.  
Daniel was jerked from his thoughts when he heard General Hammond’s fist hit the table. He was past his anger management point. As mad as Jack had caused General Hammond to get sometimes, he had never seen the General loose it like he was right now. Daniel started paying more attention to see what was going on.  
“I don’t give a rat’s ass what you think is best, Vice President. As long as there are Goa’uld out there ready to destroy Earth, then our best option is to keep that gate open. My God man, just how big of a fool are you? How many times do you have to be told that they have ships and they will come – make no mistake about that. Your dealings with Ba’al have insured us of that!”  
Kinsey’s face was as red as the stripes on the flag behind him. He could not believe how insubordinate this man was to him. How dare he talk to him like he was just a common person. He was the Vice President of these United States and well on his way to being President! He would get him thrown out of this place if it was the last thing he did!   
“You have no proof that I had dealings with any Goa’uld. Is that the excuse your people are using to justify their shenanigans in Nevada? I don’t see where you are in any position to talk about who is the fool around here. You let your people run this place while you sit back and just watch. I mean after all; we do have two of your fine officers up on fraternization charges along with going AWOL. I would just calm myself down if I were you because with what is going on here I could easily have someone else in that big comfy chair in your office in a snap of my fingers!”  
Daniel put his hand on Teal’c’s thigh when he felt him start to rise out of his seat. He shook his head at Ferretti to keep him from doing anything stupid. General Hammond may look like an easy push over to some but Daniel had seen the man take on forces a lot stronger and meaner than Kinsey was. Daniel had no doubt at this point that General Hammond would fight with everything he had to keep his position here because of the fact that he knew what would if Kinsey got hold of the SGC. He knew the men sitting there with him wanted to defend not only General Hammond’s honor but that of Major Carter and Colonel O’Neill but right now was not the time for that to take place.   
Daniel could not read much of Thor’s looks but he could tell that the alien was getting very agitated. Every strategy that General Hammond and the other leaders would come up with to try to rid Earth of the Goa’uld, it seemed Vice President Kinsey had an issue with it. The man had made it plain that nothing could be achieved as long as General Hammond was in charge of the SGC. Thor was growing more and more impatient. It was time to stop this. He loved the Tauri too much to see them destroyed because of one selfish, conceited human. A human that was as arrogant as any Goa’uld any day of the week! And to hear him run down Hammond and O’Neill, it was definitely time for this to be settled.  
Before anyone knew what had happened there was a white light shining in the briefing room. When it disappeared, Jacob, Lya and President Hayes was standing rather curiously in the center of the room – looking for all purposes as if they had been in the middle of something totally different when they were swept away and brought here.   
“Good day to you Lya, hello President Hayes, Jacob I welcome a friend from the Tok’ra. I have brought you here to sit in on a trial. It is time that the person whom has caused so much pain and despair to not only O’Neill and Major Carter but also to Colonel Reynolds be brought to justice. I cannot continue a peace treaty with the Tauri as long as one of its biggest traitors is sitting in a seat so high up. I have spoken with the High Council and they have agreed. I do not want to pull our protection from your planet President Hayes, but I will unless you take charge and bring justice to the man responsible for these crimes.”  
Before anyone had a chance to think twice, the room became dark and a hologram appeared. It played several different scenes, each one showing Kinsey talking to different people – from rogue NID agents to Goa’uld’s. It showed every phone call he had had with the NID men that had threatened General Hammond, the phone calls he had with Mathews and later with Samuels. The hologram went on to show him talking to Woolsey – trying to get information from him and twisting it around to suit his needs. It showed the gun shot and the man who pulled the trigger that took down O’Neill and later Mathews. It showed Carter being kidnapped and dragged to the underground facility where they later found her. Sadly, to everyone sitting there, it showed some of the torment that Major Carter and Colonel Reynolds went through at the hands of Ba’al.  
It went on and on – talks between him and Simmons while they had Adrian Conrad and then talks between him and Ba’al. All the talks pointing to the taking over of Stargate command and killing O’Neill. Then the last conversation before everything blew up in Ba’al’s face was the decision to get rid of President Hayes and General Hammond and change over the whole staff of the White House – letting Ba’al live on Earth if he desired and host as many humans as he needed. As long as Kinsey was safe.   
“Oh my God – you are a stark raving idiot! I thought you had lost it when I started getting a little evidence about O’Neill but this – by God Bob – we were friends – you wanted the same thing I wanted. A safe place for our kids to live. What happened to you?”  
“Oh please you are not that naïve. Did you really think when Doctor Jackson figured out how to work the Stargate that some lunatic wouldn’t come around and take it over for his pleasure? Well I just beat him to it!”  
“No, Bob you’re the damn lunatic! Haven’t you heard anything these men and women have been saying for the past 7 years? You cannot control a Goa’uld. Hell Frank Simmons could have told you that if he had lived! Damn man you have never even held a gun in your hand to defend this Nation and you’re sitting there running down the ones that have!”  
“And you think you can run this Nation – let me tell you something – God is on my side – He always has been. Your office is my destiny and I will own it and this place! I will get rid of you, Hammond and O’Neill, count on that!”  
Before anyone knew what had happened, Kinsey had been thrown against the plate glass window separating the briefing room from the gate room. He slid to the floor and the man who had thrown him was standing over him, so angry his whole body was shaking. Teal’c had jumped up but not in time to stop the young man holding Kinsey by the neck. No one had noticed the looks of disgust that had crossed over Davis face while the hologram had played. No one had seen him cry tears when they showed Sam being dragged from the car and thrown into the van that then escorted her to the place where her torture was to begin in the hands of a sick creep. No one saw him ball up his fist when the hologram showed O’Neill falling from the shot that ripped through his chest. But everyone saw him kneeling on the floor, over the vice president, with a gun to his temple.  
No one but a select few knew that Major Davis had dated Samantha Carter when she was in basic training. He and she had started dating when she was in college and continued until she left basic and got the job in the Aerodynamics department. She had been his wife’s maid of honor at their wedding because their friendship had continued even when they realized there was no actual love there to last a life time of living together. When Sam introduced him to Shannon who worked with her, she knew that the two was meant to be together. It made her happy to see the two of them so happy.  
“You know that man sitting there with the Air Force uniform on and the three eagles on each shoulder. I respect that man more than any man in the world. God is the only person I hold higher than him. You want me to tell you who ranks right under him? Jonathan Jack O’Neill and Samantha Grace Carter. Both of them hold the next spot under General George Hammond. If the three of them have gone through what they have gone through and survived, it is because God is on their side – not yours. You, you squirmy piece of crap is not talking about the same God I am – you are talking about one of those things that take over peoples bodies and uses them any way they please.”  
Major Davis took a deep breath and flexed his hand. Kinsey started to relax, thinking to himself that this soldier was no different than any of the others – all chicken when it came to pulling the trigger. Then Kinsey froze, when he felt the barrel of the gun pressed even harder into his temple.   
“Now I am going to be honest with you. I am a God fearing man. I believe that God should be the one to issue out justice when a man or woman has done something that should have not happened. But see, for some reason I just believe that God has given me the right to take justice in my own hands if nothing but for the fact that you think He owes you something. I don’t want to do it quick either. I want to empty the whole damn magazine in you. I want to hear you scream in so much pain and watch you squirm as I pull back on the trigger. And when it’s all over – I won’t kill you straight out – uh- huh that’s too good for you. No I am gonna sit right here and watch you bleed to death right on the floor of the place you want so bad. And I won’t let a soul over here to help you. So what you think about that Vice President?”  
Major Davis spat out the last two words as if they were poison in his mouth. General Hammond and Daniel had gotten up after Teal’c did and tried to talk to Davis. They knew better than to approach a man with a loaded weapon, especially one as upset as Davis looked right now. He was so mad they could feel the heat coming from him and yet he could not stop the flow of tears. The tears he cried for the friends this man had misused and abused. Men who at one time were good soldiers, willing to give their all for their Country but had been twisted into believing that this creep had their Country and their best interest in heart. Men like Makepeace who was sitting in prison now labeled a traitor to a Country he had served for over 30 years, and Reynolds who would never have a full week of sleep without having to remember what was done right here in his own Country. Men like O’Neill that was scared of ever leaving a man on his own again because of what might happened to them, blaming himself for things he had no control over.   
And then there was Sam. God how this bastard had messed her up. Screwed with her head and allowed some snake to have his pleasure with her. Hurt her so bad that she ran from the only man she loved. And he knew how bad she loved O’Neill. He knew because it was the same way he loved Shannon. To see her turn her back on the man she loved to keep from hurting him again. Felt she had failed O’Neill in the worst possible way. Because she felt dirty and used. The bastard laying here deserved a whole clip just for that.   
Teal’c saw the finger move on the trigger and jerked Davis’s hand before the bullet had a chance to land in Kinsey. The bullet left the gun and landed in the wall just above Kinsey’s head. Daniel realized that Davis was so angry that he had completely forgotten about wanting Kinsey to suffer. His aim had gone straight for the kill. Teal’c had the gun and General Hammond had Davis. He held the man close to him as if he were a child and Davis cried tears of pent up frustration and anger at the pain of his friends. Someone had called Janet and she had brought a needle with a sedative in it and gave it to Davis. It was not long before they had him back in a chair with his head on the table.   
Teal’c had Kinsey back up on his feet, looking at him with disgust. The man had been so scared when the gun went off that he had lost his bowels. To Teal’c, who knew the man had no honor, he just went down even further. “At least be man enough to take the punishment” Teal’c thought to himself.   
Thor looked at Davis and shook his head, another good Tauri in pain because of this one. The punishment had to be severe but what? He could not inflict it himself. That had been one of the rules of the High Counsel. No member of the four races could decide the punishment nor inflict it. It had to come from the Tauri. The only thing he, Jacob and Lya could do was witness the judgement and make sure it was carried out. Thor also knew that the punishment could not be decided without all of the players being present. He closed his eyes, and as Daniel and the others watched him to see what was next, they saw a smile come upon his face. A rare treat from an Asgard.

QQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQ  
Jack knew she was awake. He had been for almost an hour now and had laid here and stared at her while she slept. He still could not believe that they were finally together – this time forever. No one would come between them again, he did not care if he had to tie her to his side to keep her close to him and safe. He was so full inside. The love he felt for her could not be measured. He had seen the beauties of galaxies and thought that nothing could compare to them until he woke up this morning and saw her face.   
Sam turned in his arms until she was lying flat on her back. Jack took his fingers and moved the hair from her eyes and leaned down and kissed her. God, he was such a lucky man. So many people live their life and never find love – yet he had been blessed twice. Two very beautiful women that loved him. He was so very lucky. He caressed her and watched her eyes start to turn a darker blue. He wanted her again, but this time he wanted to have her all the way. Was it possible what he had felt the night before be true? Could she have been healed by some miracle when he was making love to her? There was only one way to find out. But before he did that there was something he needed to know.   
“Samantha Grace Carter… “  
“Yes Jack what is it?”  
“I want to ask you…..”  
“Jack – what!”  
“Carter, if you interrupt me again, I swear I am going to tape your mouth shut!”  
“Yeah you and what SG team?”  
Jack leaned up and looked at Sam. God, this woman was going to drive him crazy – she had already drove him to drink! Jack then leaned down and took Sam’s lips with the full force of a mind blowing kiss. When he was finished he leaned up and while she was still trying to catch her breath, he proceeded with the question he had been trying to ask her.  
“Marry me, Sam! Would you grant an old fool the chance to be happy again and marry me?”  
He watched Sam as her eyes became larger then he had ever seen them. And then it happened. What he had been waiting on. That Carter megawatt smile and it seemed to increase in measurement until he thought it was going to cover her whole face. If her eyes had not still been so big – he believes it would have. Then he became concerned as he saw tears flood her eyes and roll down her checks. What did he do? Was there something wrong – had she thought of some reason why she could not marry him?  
Sam saw the disappointment fleet across Jack’s face and she put her hand up and caressed his check before she spoke.   
“Oh Jack, do not worry my love. I am not crying because I don’t want to marry you – I am crying because you love me so much that you want to marry me. Yes, my darling! Yes, I will marry you! I would be honored to be your bride. Even if you are a little old and crippled and grumpy and ….”  
“I’ll show you old and crippled, Major!”  
Before Sam could continue, Jack leaned down and kissed her. Before he could move her hands hand wound themselves around his neck and kept him where he was. Things were slowing starting to build and the kiss begins to get heated. However, before they could continue, Jack could have sworn he heard his name being called. He lifted up and looked at Sam. She obviously had heard it too. Jack waited for a minute to see if he heard his name again. About that time a light shone and disappeared and there stood Thor in the middle of their room. O’Neill grabbed what covers Sam had not used to already cover her entire body from head to toe. If he had not been trying to cover himself, he would have found it funny how red she had gotten.  
“O’Neill, Major Carter”  
“Thor buddy, we must talk about privacy issues my friend.”  
“I am sorry but time is of the essence. We need your assistance.”  
“Thor, buddy. I am sorry but you are gonna have to count me and Major Carter out of this round. We are consummating our engage,,,ugh. Ouch!”   
Just as he started to say the word engagement, he felt her hand when it punched him hard in the chest, he did not have time however to say anything when he heard her giggling under the covers. A grin bigger than any he had ever produced spread across his face. Before anything else could take place, they were both blinded by the white light that surrounded them and Thor could here Jack yelling his name.  
“Buddy of mine – I better have some clothes on when you get me to where ever you are beaming me to. And the same thing goes for my woman!!”   
Across Colorado Springs, Colonel Reynolds and Mary had just sat down to drink a cup of coffee and relax after putting the girls on the bus when they two were caught up in a light that transported them to the briefing room at the SGC. Of course, they were more fortunate the Jack and Sam – who were clothed in nothing but sheets and blankets. Thankfully, Thor deposited them in the locker room of the SGC.   
“Daniel Jackson, you may want to go assist your friends and explain to them why they are here. For some reason, O’Neill was yelling to loud about respect for privacy for him to hear me trying to explain things. We cannot continue this trail without them present.”  
Daniel and Janet both took off for the locker room, followed closely by Teal’c. When General Hammond saw Reynolds appear, he had a feeling he knew what Thor was doing and he had the SF’s to take Kinsey down to lock-up and to watch him like a hawk. Thor knew Kinsey would not be going anywhere without him knowing it. He had placed an Asgard tracking device on him.  
The reunion in the locker room lasted a good while and then Daniel told them why they had been summoned. He explained to them about the meeting Thor had organized to try to get Earth prepared for Ba’al and the ones under him and how Kinsey fought against it. Janet then explained about Thor showing the proof he had on Kinsey and that he had organized a trial and sentence and that was why they were there. She told them that Reynolds was upstairs also and before they knew what had happened – they heard Jack’s locker slam shut and Jack was out of the locker room and headed towards the briefing room. He did not wait to be told that Kinsey was no longer in the briefing room.   
“Damn – He should not be here! The man has gone through enough. He did not need this crap!” Jack thought to himself as he headed up the steps two at a time. “Al had been through enough, and enough was enough. What the heck was Thor thinking bringing him here to see the men that had allowed a Goa’uld to torment him?”  
Thor watched O’Neill as he walked over to where Colonel Reynolds and his mate were sitting. Reynolds started to stand up to show honor to O’Neill but O’Neill’s hand on the other man’s shoulder stopped him. He bends down and kisses Mary on the check. With his hand still resting on Reynolds shoulder he surveys the room. He had taken a quick sweep of it when he had come charging in but now his special forces training had zoned in and he was readying himself for whatever dangers may be around him and his men.   
“Reynolds, are you sure you want to be here? You do not have to be. We can put the S.O.B away without you being here, I promise you that. He will either do time here or he will in hell.”  
O’Neill said the words and the meaning was clear. Either Kinsey received his punishment this time or he would exact him himself. It would not be an act through NID either.  
“No, Colonel, I need to be here. Mary and I both need to be here. We need to see this finished. Knowing that he has been punished for what he has done to so many people will help put this behind us.  
Jack patted him on the back and then took a seat and waited for Sam to sit beside him.   
When Sam, Daniel, Janet and Teal’c finally entered the briefing room, there were “hellos” and “how are you doing” from the friends. Barrett, of course under the watchful eye of O’Neill, reached over and gave Sam a hug.  
“How are you doing Major Carter? I must say, you do look better than the last time I saw you.”  
Barrett was still holding Sam’s hand and he heard the sound that came from O’Neill’s throat, a sound that was mighty close to a growl. Barrett actually laughed. And God, it felt so good to do it. So good to let loose of some of the tension that had surrounded them all for the past three months. So much pain, anger and hurt. So many tears, hits and remarks that had caused even more pain. Barrett kept laughing and before the others knew what had happened, it seemed every man and women that had had even the slightest dealings with what had been going on was laughing. The tension seemed to ease some and it made them all feel a little lighter and more like dealing with the scum that was waiting for his punishment.  
“O’Neill, I am sure Daniel Jackson or Teal’c has informed you and Major Carter what has transpired here and what needs to be done just as General Hammond has informed Colonel Reynolds and his wife. We cannot judge a man without all present that he has offended, so we had to bring you all here. You and the others will determine what judgement you feel is needed for this Kinsey. Whatever you decide will be final. But know this – if you choice to allow him to live – there is always the possibility that Ba’al will soon catch him and exact torture upon him for failing him. A Goa’uld does not like to be disappointed as you well know. I would recommend that you no longer allow him to be a member of your world. Now I leave it to you to decide what to do. We will wait until the decision is made and then the judgement will be carried out. I will know when you have reached your decision and will return with the other two.”  
“Thor, I wish to stay.” Selmak’s voice was heard as Jacob addressed Thor. He had kept his eyes on Sam since she had walked in the door. After they had said hello and hugged, Barrett had gotten to her. He needed to stay to make sure his little girl was okay.  
“I understand my friend. Just know that you cannot help in the decision that the Tauri make, even though your host is the victim’s father. You must obey the High Council and only get involved when it is time for the judgement to be placed. “   
Thor stated this then he looked over at President Hayes. He had respect for this Tauri and it hurt him that his friend had used him the way he had. The man looked as if he had let these good people down when he in fact had not known what was going on and when he did find out – he had tried to find everything he could to bring the man and his group down.   
“President Hayes, you do not have to stay if you wish to leave. I can transport you back to your office for I know how busy you are. I brought you here for you needed to know what was happening. I would have broken off the treaty with earth if you had not been an honest man and cared. Do you wish to leave or will you stay?”  
“I will stay and after you all decide what needs to be done with him, I will turn in my resignation. I do not feel I am fit to remain your President knowing what was going on around me and I was completely in the dark.” President Hayes stated the words and they hurt, but he knew that was what needed to be done. He felt he had aged 75 years since being brought into this room and he was tired of watching good people die.  
“Now that’s about the damn dumbest thing I ever heard! And I have heard a lot of dumb stuff, mostly from my own mouth. Why would you think you resigning would in any way help us? Right now we need a strong leader in the White House to help us get rid of the snakes out in the universe and the ones around us. We already know that even if we get rid of Kinsey – Ba’al is still going to come after us with all he’s got and the last thing we need is a rookie in the white house.”  
Jack took a deep breath and then looked dead into the eyes of the President.  
“Listen, Sir. I respect you as much as I do that man standing at the end of the table. I know what you have tried to do for us to keep us going and I know what you did to try to find out who was behind all the crap that was taking place. I also know your service record. I know that if you could, you would be one of the first in the cockpit to help us fight. That’s why you have got to stay where you are. We need you.”  
President Hayes reached over and shook the hand offered to him by Colonel Jack O’Neill. The military officer never knew how good it made President Hayes feel to hear O’Neill talk about him the way he did. He would stay in office and he would fight with everything he could to keep the SGC open and operating. And should the Goa’uld be dumb enough to go to war with this great planet – O’Neill had been correct – he would be in the cockpit when the time came.  
Just then they heard the whoosh from the Stargate.   
“What now?” Hammond asked as he and the members of SG1 started towards the controls.  
“Sirs – something is trying to come through without an Iris code” Walter stated looking at the General and his 2nd in command. What in the world was taking place.


	24. Payback!

Payback!

Ba’al stood at the window of his mothership that he had orbiting around earth’s atmosphere. As long as he stayed a certain distance – he had no fear of anyone else seeing him. The Asgard were too busy right now to worry about what he was up to. They had their eyes set on Anubis – not on him. And right now he was so angry that it really would not bother him if they did show up. So what with the alliance – he wanted to hurt, mangle and kill someone and he had his eyes set on one Tauri and one Tauri only. Vice President Robert Kinsey.   
This O’Neill called him a snake. How dare O’Neill when they had worse running their own Country. This Kinsey had sold out his own people. And for what – political gain. He would give him political gain. He would show this Tauri what happens when you cross a god!  
Ba’al had been keeping track of Kinsey since they had first discussed their arrangement. Did the idiot really think he trusted him, a simple Tauri? If he did, then Ba’al knew Kinsey was not as smart as he liked to think he was. He knew exactly where he was and he knew exactly what he had to do to get him here, on his ship and back to his fortress where he would have so much fun with him. Payback always brought him pleasure, but this time the only thing that would be sweeter than Kinsey’s payback would be when Ba’al could finally get his hands on O’Neill.  
Ba’al had used the device that Kinsey had stolen from some secured location and now had it implanted on one of the guards at the SGC. Right now this man was the only thing that stood between Kinsey and him. It was time to act, before O’Neill became aware that he may attempt something. Surely O’Neill knew that Ba’al would not allow someone to go without being punished after they had disappointed him.   
The Jaffa that was disguised had the ring transporter key – all he had to do was get Kinsey in the right area and this would work – he would have Kinsey and before the day was over he would have the sweet taste of revenge, plus any knowledge that Kinsey had of Earths defenses.   
Ba’al watched the ring transporters and waited. What was taking so long – he should have been here by now! Why did the Tauri ever have to get involved in the things of the universe? Things were so much simpler before these nosy ones got involved in what the Goa’uld were doing. Ba’al hated them because for the most part – they cared so much about each other and he had learned – when people cared about each other it was hard to get them to turn against each other.  
There was something wrong, his Jaffa should have been here by now. And then Ba’al saw it – the Asgard ship that slipped out from under his. It had intercepted the rings and now his prey was with the Asgard. Damn! He would never get his hands on Kinsey now! Just what had these Tauri done to deserve such loyalty from the Asgard!   
He slammed his fist down on the panel in front of him and then turned around and caught the young Jaffa behind him with the hand device and before the man knew what had happened he was slammed against the wall, killed instantly.   
Ba’al swore to himself that it was not over – he would not allow himself to do without revenge. Either Kinsey or O’Neill would satisfy him and he would get one of them. If he could not have Kinsey, then he would have O’Neill. He pushed a button on his control panel and was just going to left a switch when something caught his attention.  
“Ba’al, I would suggest you stay away from the Tauri. I have informed Thor what you are doing and he has informed me that we have the information we need to inform Anubis of your planned betrayal. Should you enter the atmosphere again around the Tauri home planet or should you bother any of them while they are on another planet, we will let Anubis know what you plan to do, how you are gathering forces to go against him, and we will let him know where your fortress is. Do you understand what we are telling you? WE will not allow you to hurt these people.”  
Ba’al had jumped back when the form of the Asgard appeared on his screen. Was his information incorrect? He was told they were in another part of the galaxy, where they would not be able to interfere with him. But here this one was, another meddling in his affairs! But he was not ready to go against Anubis yet, he still had things to get in order. He would not go against Anubis until he knew for sure he could win. He knew at this moment he could not. He was going to have to back off. Damn his luck! He would figure out how this was going to all turn around for his benefit because one day he would rule as he should!  
QQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQ  
Kinsey watched the man standing by the steel door that had slammed shut behind the two of them as they entered the cell. What in the world was he doing behind bars? This was not the way any of this should have happened. He was the Vice-President of the United States, had workings in progress that would have made him President within a year – so what if Hayes had to die to ensure it. It was his destiny to rule the United States and then the whole world. The Gate would have made that possible. But here he stood behind steel bars on the bottom floor of the SGC. The place that should have been under his control.  
Kinsey kept watching the guard by the door, there was something really weird going on with him. He seemed to act as if he was not sure what he was supposed to be doing. He had also noticed that when Carter and that Jaffa was anywhere near this floor, the guard seemed to hide away from them. Kinsey was not a dumb man and he could figure out when something strange was going on. He did not have to be military to figure out when something was going to happen. O’Neill thought he was so uppity because he was Special Forces. Shit, all you had to have was common sense and you could figure anything out. He had plenty of common sense and he had already figured out that the guard was either for him or against him but either way, he may just be his way out of this mess.  
Kinsey did not have a chance to think anything else, he watched the guard unlike his cell door, felt him when he grabbed his arm, and saw him push a button on a wrist band that was under his shirt. The next thing he knew, he was surrounded by steel rings and felt himself turning very cold. Before he knew what had happened he was standing in front of the same arrogant alien that had stolen his chance about four years ago to take over the SGC and had just shown his secrets to everyone in the briefing room. As for the Jaffa that had freed him, he was nowhere in sight.  
“Welcome Vice President Kinsey. I have brought you aboard my vessel to keep you from being taken by Ba’al. He believes he has all rights to you but I do not believe that what he wants to do to you, you would want. I will transport you back to the SGC but first I must take care of a few security problems that you have. I do not like the fact that you have tried to harm my friends. While I cannot cause your death, I can punish you in other ways. And I do intend to punish you, make no mistake about that.”  
Kinsey watched as the short grey alien talked to Ba’al. He saw the anger in the Goa’uld’s eyes but he also saw how Ba’al backed down when confronted by this alien. And who was this Anubis that seemed to really cause Ba’al worry. Maybe that was who he should have talked to. He did not realize that Ba’al was a second step or he would have gone higher. When he got off of this ship, he would see about this Anubis. Maybe there was still a chance to get what he wanted.  
If there was any way he could get away from Ba’al and the Asgard and align himself with this Anubis, he may just be able to do what should have been done to begin with. He was not worried about all this overdramatic stuff. No one had ever hurt him and no one ever would. His sights were set high and by God, Robert Kinsey always got what he set his sights on.  
The Asgard turned and looked at Kinsey – then he shook his head. Did this Tauri really think he could mess with Anubis? He was almost tempted to let Anubis have him but he did not want the information that this Kinsey had to fall into Anubis hands. That was the only reason he had kept Ba’al from getting him. The information this Tauri had was too valuable to fall into the wrong hands. He needed to contact the Tauri and let them know what had transpired.  
Thor watched this Tauri with pure distaste. He had not trusted him before with just O’Neill’s word, but meeting him and watching him destroy his own planet, he knew he hated him even more. The man was nothing but pure evil. Thor wondered if he should check him again just to make sure he did not have a Goa’uld inside of his head. Ba’al helping him escape changed everything. Thor knew now that he had the right to exact punishment since Kinsey had allowed himself to be taken away from the base. And maybe that was the best thing anyway. He knew what needed to be done – he just needed to check with the Tauri and the high council to see if they agreed.  
QQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQ

General Hammond took the stairs down from the briefing area two at a time, followed closely by Jack and the rest of SG1. Was this day ever going to end or were the surprises just going to keep on coming. He knew there were only two teams off-world. He had decided to do that when he found out that Thor had called this meeting. He knew there had to be some serious trouble for Thor to visit and the less teams he had off-world the better he felt. So then who was coming through the gate and why were they coming without an Iris code?  
Just as he reached the back of Walter’s chair, Walter turned around and looked at him and then at Jack and back again at the computer. The look on his face was one of doubt and he seemed reluctant to tell the General who was coming through the gate.  
“What is it, Sargent? What’s going on?”  
“Sir the iris is opening but I have not received a code as of yet. Do you want me to call the alarm?”   
“General Hammond, that will not be necessary. I know who is coming through the gate.” Selmak stated as Jacob walked up behind them.  
Jack turned and looked at Jacob. God, he hated to think this but he really hoped it was not the Tokra. He really did not feel like dealing with them. Every time they came through the gate, it was to get Jack’s people to do something for them that usually ended with him and his team in serious trouble or in pain.   
Jacob looked over at Jack and gave him a half grin. It was as if he had read his mind, Jack thought. Oh well – the truth hurts sometimes.   
“Yes, Jack, I am afraid it is the Tokra. But you may want to hear this information. Thor has also returned because of this news.”   
Jacob said the words and then waited for the iris code to finally show up in the computer. Sam thought it had to be because of Thor being with them that the iris had started to open by itself but then she saw who all was with the Tokra and dread crept inside of her. Thor, Shel’aen - the head of the Tokra at this time, and Oma were all standing on the ramp, along with Lya.   
Before anyone had a chance to comment on the group or to the group, they watched as a beam of light shone and then disappeared and in the center of the gate room stood one of the guards that had been stationed down in lock down. As a matter of fact, he should have been watching the cell that Kinsey was put in.   
Everyone heard the groan escape out of O’Neill’s mouth. He knew it, by God he just knew it was too good to be true. He thought sure the lunatic was at last caught but if this numbskull was here in the gate room, beamed in by dear old Thor – who by the way, had not even been gone out of the briefing room a whole ten minutes, then trouble was indeed brewing and he did not want any of the soup!  
Thor knew the thoughts that had ran across O’Neill’s mind, just as Oma did. This had to stop. They were going to have to step in and take care of this situation with this Kinsey before O’Neill ended up doing something he may regret. He watched as Teal’c walked over to the guard that was standing there, and watched as he turned into a Jaffa when Teal’c removed the stone that laid on his chest. Just as Teal’c turned to show O’Neill and Hammond what he had in his hand, the Jaffa raised the weapon he had hidden.   
Before anyone knew what had happened, O’Neill had pulled the gun from the soldiers hands that stood closest to him and aimed it at the Jaffa. Anger coursed through his blood like water through a stream. He was tired of the games, and it was time for people to start paying for the way they were treating the ones he loved. Just as the Jaffa started to zap Teal’c the second time, O’Neill pulled the trigger and the Jaffa laid dead on the floor. He watched Janet check on Teal’c and saw that he was okay, and then he turned to look at Thor.  
“I would never admit this out loud in a room full of soldiers and airmen, but Thor buddy, I am tired. I am tired of the killing, tired of the back stabbing – just tired.” He reached over and put his arm around Sam’s waste. “I am ready to stop all this, settle down and love my woman with no interference from anyone. Is that really too much to ask?”  
Thor looked at O’Neill and the alien’s big eyes almost looked as if there were tears in them. He knew this man was tired, as were the others who fought along beside him whether in the field, in the office’s or at the SGC. They had gotten into something they did not realize was going on when they stepped through the gateway but they had handled it with grace and dignity. Trying to keep friendships with others and not causing trouble. But trouble had come looking for them and it was time for it to stop. It was time for them to have a rest – especially the ones who had survived through all the pain and fighting that had gone on for the past eight years.  
“I have come to let all of you know that I now hold Kinsey aboard my ship. I interrupted a ring transport from Ba’al’s ship and pulled he and the Jaffa aboard mine. Since Kinsey was no longer on earth, I am allowed by the high council to exact punishment upon him. I would be honored to do this for my Tauri friends if you will allow me to.”  
Jack looked at President Hayes, who nodded his head and then at General Hammond who agreed.   
“Uh, hello! Yes, we would allow you to do that since it seems we cannot keep our hands on the slimy bastard! Because I am not one for cliché’s but I must be honest with you – if I catch him – he will not live to see another sunrise.”  
Thor turned when O’Neill got through talking and looked at the others that were standing with him. Each of them had agreed that if the Tauri went along with the deal – then the Asgard would handle Kinsey’s punishment.   
“Then we will do as we have suggested. We will let you each know when the task has been finished. Kinsey will not escape again.”   
Before anyone could utter another word, the gate room was lit with a brilliant light and all the visitors from different worlds were gone. The breath of relief that echoed around the gate room sounded as if it came from every person in the room. They all headed back up to the briefing room and Jack turned to look at his team – he considered all of them his team. Maybe this could be a joyous time after all. Christmas was just a couple of days away and he needed something to make him feel like miracles could still happen. He knew they could – he felt sure he and Sam had already experienced a miracle.  
“Sir’s, while I have you both here, I have something that I must confess. I am turning in my resignation papers as of right now. I will no longer be able to serve at Stargate Command. I have broken the frat rules but I am not ashamed of it. Therefore, I will take whatever punishment you deem worthy.”  
Jack thought President Hayes had completely lost his marbles. His laughter rang through the briefing room and even down into the control room. Jack would be surprised if they did not even hear it in the infirmary. He looked over at Janet getting ready to ask her if she thought maybe she ought to give the President something. But before he had a chance, he felt a hand on his shoulder and turned to look into the man’s very serious eyes.   
“Jonathon O’Neill – just what kind of man do you take me for? I knew you and Major Carter had love for each other. I am just surprised that it took you both this long to break the damn rules. I don’t think I could’ve lasted this long and I am sure if you ask around – there are others that agree with me on that. Jack, son do not worry about the Air Force doing anything to you or Major Carter. As far as I am concerned, neither of you have broken any rules. I had decided to drop the fraternization law when I became President, as long as it can be proven that the couple truly do love each other. If they do not – and they are caught – they will be punished up to court marshalled.”  
Then Jack watched as the man looked at him with pure hope.   
“I agree that you and Major Carter deserve this but I am afraid that I must ask you to hold onto those resignation papers just a little longer. Son, I need you to still make sure our planet is safe from whatever that maniac might be cooking up out there. I give you and Major Carter free reign as far as having a relationship, even to the point of marriage but I must ask you to hold off on your retirement. Can you do that for me? I have a special place for George in Washington and I was hoping that maybe after I put an eagle on those shoulders of yours you would agree to run the SGC for me. What do you think?”  
Jack looked at Sam and realized that to her as long as he was with her – it did not matter if they left the SGC or not. Just as long as they could spend their days together as one. He looked at the men and women gathered around the briefing room table. He had been with each of them for so long and no matter how weary he was – he knew they were tired as well. Could he be happy with himself knowing he had left them with someone else? He could make sure that they were safe if he controlled the gate, right? He looked at Daniel and Teal’c, both he knew was ready to stop the fight with or without him. Could he leave them to go live his life while they were putting theirs in danger to keep him safe?  
“Sir you have a deal but I will request a month leave for me and Major Carter. I plan to celebrate my honeymoon away from the SGC. No offence, but I have other ideas then capturing Goa’uld system lords during my honeymoon.”  
Everyone saw the grin that spread across Jack’s face at these words and watched the red completely cover Sam’s face and neck. Before long the laughter and congratulations had erupted all through the room and even Davis who was awake by this time joined in. He was happy to see that Sam had finally stopped running and that she and Jack maybe able to finally start having the type of life that he and Shannon shared.   
Before long everyone had settled down and those who lived off base were starting home. Jack and the rest of SG1, Hammond, Hayes, and the others that had been involved with Kinsey hung out in the briefing room. They were hoping to find out what the Asgard had done with Kinsey before they went to bed but it was plain to see that the answer may not come tonight. Soon each person found a room and passed out. The couples that were together celebrated a new type of freedom that night. For some reason, even knowing there were still Goa’uld’s out in the universe, it still made it seem a little easier to breath knowing that Kinsey and the rogue NID had been abolished.   
Janet and Daniel celebrated their love for each other while Jack and Sam did the same. Janet had been apprehensive when Jack had first mentioned their reunion, but Daniel just shook his head at her and told her that they would figure it out – he was positive they already had.   
“But Daniel, he may not know the full effect the fire stick had on her. I feel as a doctor he should know so that he does not hurt her worse. Sam will not be able to stop him. The desire would be too great. You and I both can attest to that.” Janet’s face had turned crimson by the time she had finished speaking but Daniel still insisted that Jack knew what he was doing.  
“Janet, do you really believe for one minuet that Jack would hurt Sam? I mean I understand what you are saying but Jack would never get so carried away that he would cause Sam pain. Now leave them to them and lets you and I talk about us. I no longer want to be just a close friend with benefits. I want to be not only your friend, and your lover but I want to know that you are mine -for eternally.”  
Janet was sitting on the end of the bed watching Daniel, wondering what in the world he was up to. That mind of his never stopped and from the way Daniel was looking at her she really did need to stop worrying about Sam and Jack. When Daniel knelt in front of her, she could not control the gasp that escaped her. It had been a very long time since this had been done and then it was not this formal. Her ex had been leaving to go to another Country, gave her a ring and told her they were to be married before he left. Nothing wonderful or no great giddy feelings in the pit of her stomach like she was experiencing now.   
Daniel looked up into the face of the woman he had loved for so long. When he had realized that Shari was not coming back – he fought with himself because of the improper way he started feeling towards Janet. He did not want to give up on his wife, but then when she was killed he knew then that it was over and he tried to mourn her death but it had been so long since they had been together. Janet seemed so much more alive to him and it did not take long for him to realize that his first wife had not left this world until she knew he has someone who would love him.  
When he finally asked the question, Daniel watched Janet as she nodded her head, tears escaping from the corner of her eyes. He took his thump and wiped the tears away and then brought her face down to his. Soon their lips were creating such heat that Daniel realized things were definitely going somewhere other than he thought they would with them on the base. But he was not going to put a stop to it and soon he and Janet both were laying side by side on the large bed, her wrapped in his arms while his lips traveled from her head to her neck and his hands traveled from her hips to under her shirt. It was not long before he had her shirt off and he laid there and admired her – his beautiful, short, sassy love.   
He took his hands and caressed her breast through her black bra and watched the nipples spring to life. He loved how her breath would catch whenever he would touch her in places that she did not think he should. His mouth soon covered where his hands had been and his hands continued their journey down her beautiful body.   
Daniel rolled Janet over so that she lay completely on him and he was able to unbutton the military skirt that she had on. He would leave her stockings on, he loved seeing her in nothing but her stockings and a sexy bra, it excited him more then he liked to admit and Janet knew that. That was why she tried to make sure if she and Daniel were going to spend time together when they left the base, she looked her best for him. It made her feel wonderful for a man to get excited over her, it had been so long.  
Daniel felt Janet jerk when his hands finally touched the bare skin of her backside. Sometimes it would seem to him that she had never been married. Oh he knew about her relationship with her husband. She had told him the first night they had made love together. How her husband was the kind that believed a man’s pleasure was all that matter and when he got off – then he was done. It had shocked Janet so bad that Daniel had insisted on waiting for her to cum before he finished with his own pleasure that he literally had to demand that she give in or he was getting dressed and leaving. If he left, he told her, he would not be back.   
After that night, their relationship in the bedroom and out of the bedroom seemed to grow out of control. Daniel knew she was the one for him and he wanted her to know it, too. When his hand slipped between her legs to the front of her, she started to move but he stopped her. He loved having her lay on him while he made her shatter with an orgasm. He loved to watch her face, he loved to feel her breathing reach to a point where he would almost think she would not be able to catch another single breath, and then she would shatter. Just like she was going to do any minute. And she did. He rubbed her back and squeezed her closer to him.   
When Janet finally caught her breath, she sat up and straddled him. She loved to ride him. She loved to feel him go deep inside her. The first time they had made love, they were worried because she was so tight and he was a very endowed man. Daniel learned to make sure Janet was very excited before they would start with intercourse and making love this way was one way she stayed very excited. It was not long before he felt himself reaching the edge and he grabbed her hips and helped her. Janet was already losing the battle for the third time. When she shattered this time, she would be out and Daniel knew it. Together they climbed to the highest star and with hearts bursting with love for each other, they shattered together.   
As Daniel came back around, he turned on his side, pulling Janet with him so that she laid cradled against him. His love, forever. At last – love for the two of them had found a home. He only prayed that his best friend and his little “sister” would be experiencing the same thing before the night was over.


	25. A New Beginning!

A New Beginning

Thor watched as Kinsey struggled against the steel bands being placed around his ankles, chest and wrists. He was not alone in the room where Asgard had decided his punishment would take place. The same people that had been at the SGC to rule on the judgement stood here now, which included Lya, Bratac and Selmak. There was also one more that had not been at the SGC but Thor felt he deserved to bare witness to the punishment of the man that has caused him pain the one time he had visited earth. Orlin listened watched with weariness as Kinsey continued to run down the SGC and Sam. Why would a place like earth allow someone like this man to gain so much power?  
Then Orlin remembered that they were no better – after all look at Anubis. God help them all with that one. He shook his head and went back to the scene in front of him. Yet his mind still wondered. He knew that Jack and Sam had finally been able to share the love that they had for one another and he was so glad for them both. He also had been told to what extinct the damage had been done to her. He hoped that Jack O’Neill was the man that the Asgard – well – Thor believed him to be because Sam was going to need someone who would have patience with her until she fully believed that she had been healed. And the One higher than any of the five great races had ordained that healing – just through the love that Jack and Sam had for each other.  
Thor listened to Kinsey and wished that he had installed a mouth band when he had the other straps across the table. Thor knew it went against all he believed in to interfere with another worlds fight unless the Goa’uld were involved but he had no choice in this matter. This man had to be dealt with and there was only one way to do that. The Tauri believed that a person could be born evil but the Tauri also believed that with the right nurturing, even the worst person could be changed. Thor prayed they were right. With that thought in mind, Thor had come up with a new plan.  
Robert Kinsey had not been born evil -he was actually a very good baby. But then he turned old enough to know (as most babies do) that if he cried long and hard enough, he could get anything he wanted. His parents thought the best way to shut him up was to pamper him. Through his parents spoiling and his growing need to have exactly what he wanted, when he wanted it, again thanks to his parents, Robert Kinsey was a very evil Tauri. Maybe what they needed was a whole new beginning for Robert Kinsey. That was why Thor had called his brother. Loki was just the Asgard for the punishment Thor had in mind. Thor believed he could turn this punishment into a blessing. He believed that this just may change the lives of more than one person.  
Kinsey watched the two aliens as they moved stones around on a panel. Suddenly he was mesmerized by three glowing green lights. The more he watched them, the sleepier he became. “Just what kind of mind trick were they playing at? It did not matter; it would not work. He would win – after all he always did.” Kinsey thought to himself, just as his eyes closed and he was deep asleep.  
“You are sure about this, Thor? Remember, I still do not have all the atoms straightened out yet”  
“I can repair what may need to be repaired. You do your part, Loki. And no playing around either. I will know.”  
“And just how long do you want him in the machine?”  
“I will let you know when to stop.”  
Everyone in the room watched as a bright light begin to come from the machine that now hoovered over Kinsey. Right in front of their eyes, they watched the lines begin to fade from the older man’s face.  
Loki looked over at Thor and Thor shook his head.  
Kinsey’s face became younger and younger and they could actually see the length of Kinsey’s tall frame becoming shorter and shorter.  
Again, Loki looked at Thor and again Thor shook his head.  
The longer the process went on, the younger Kinsey became – first a young man, then a teenager. The younger Kinsey became the more intense was the look on not only Loki’s face but the other members of the different alien races.  
For the third time, Loki again looked at Thor to see if he was ready to stop the machine and this time seeming impatient Thor not only shook his head but seemed to wave Loki on. Loki obeyed but everyone could tell he seemed nervous and worried. He had never taken anyone down past the age that O’Neill had been and they all knew how that had turned out. If Thor kept going, this Tauri would end up being a whole lot younger than that.  
QQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQ  
Jack walked beside Sam as they headed towards the VIP rooms that been assigned to SG1 since the day they had left to go to Abydos the first time. He watched her out of the corner of his eye and saw the apprehension become stress on her face. He knew what the problem was but he would wait to see how she would handle it before he would interfere. He did not want to impose on her here at the SGC. If she was not ready for them to be intimate on the base right now, then he would give her a little time. Very little time because he was not going for long periods of time again without her.  
When they got to Sam’s door, she turned and looked at Jack and Jack watched as her head fell down and the hair covered her eyes. He knew she had something to say but it looked as if he was going to have to pull it out of her. Jack placed his hand under Sam’s chin, lifting her face so that he could see her. Taking his other hand, he swept the hair that still clung to her eyelashes away from her face. God, how he loved her – even if she was bull-headed and stubborn and a heck of a lot smarter than he was!  
“Sam, you gotta talk to me. I may have an ancient gene but it has never given me the ability to read people’s minds, not even sure I would want it to. What’s going on?”  
“Um... I … well, I …. I want…”  
Sam started to tilt her head back down to look away from Jack but the pressure of his hand would not allow it.  
“Samantha, look at me, don’t try to hide away. Do you want to sleep with me or do you want to be alone? I will do whatever makes you feel comfortable tonight – but only tonight. I, myself would love the idea of holding you close to me, in my arms in my bed – tonight and every night but I will not push you.”  
Before Jack had a chance to even realize it, Sam had changed direction, she was pulling on his arm and heading towards his room. The momentum almost took him off of his feet but he was quick to readjust and was soon swiping his key in the key pad and opening the door. He had barely gotten the door closed when he felt Sam’s hands under his shirt. She was standing behind him, with her body pressed against his and her hands running up and down his chest. Jack turned and pulled her hands away and bent down to take her lips with his. She was desperate but he was not going to be rushed. This night was not going to be rushed. He wanted her as much as she wanted him but tonight was very special.  
Jack still believed that a miracle had occurred while they had been on Thor’s ship. Not anything alien either. He honestly believed that Sam had been healed by a higher power that he had not believed in in a long time. Tonight if things went the right way and he felt in his gut that she would not be hurt – he would find out but not in a rush and not with her in control. Tonight he was going to treat his Colonel like the lady she was.  
Jack begin to back away from the door, and in doing so moved Sam closer to his bed. He had had the smarts to change the furnishings in his room (without the General knowing it until it had been delivered) because there was no way as he stated “his 6’2 frame was going to try to sleep on a bed made for a short man”. Looking at the bed now – he was so glad he did change it. Soon he had Sam right up against the foot of the bed. Leaning back away from her – he looked down at he and gave her a lopsided grin.  
“Oh Samantha my darling – these clothes will never do – it would just be too much trouble to try to take them all of with you as impatient as you are. I tell you what I will do, how about I take them off for you? Do you like that idea? Hmmm I can’t hear you my dear.”  
Sam tried to answer Jack, really she did but the words just did not seem to make much sense as they came out of her mouth. She wanted him on her, in her, around her – just all over her. The overwhelming desire to be connected with him was driving her crazy and he was standing there talking about her clothes. God sometimes she worried about the man – although if his fingers and lips kept doing what they were doing she would not be worrying about him too long! God she had to get her clothes off and get his off too it seemed!  
“Samantha – you have to calm down. You are too excited. This night will last as long as we allow it. I am in no hurry for it to end too soon but you must realize – I am not a young man either. Now let me take care of you the way I want to.”  
Sam felt his hands as they begin to unbutton the oversized BDU shirt she had on. It would have seemed as huge as the shirt was on her, his fingers should not be able to rub against her skin but even through the tank top she had on under her shirt – she could feel his fingers burning her. Sam felt as if every one of his fingertips were candles, tantalizing her with heat wherever they touched up against her. Jack slipped the shirt off of her shoulders, kissing the tops of her shoulders and down her arms as the material slipped away. Jack, with all of his touching, was doing nothing but igniting the passion inside of her like he loved to ignite the c-4 they used. The shirt dropped behind her, causing Jack to stop with his lips but his hands and fingers continued to torture her, rubbing her arms, back, and neck.  
Jack watched the shirt as it flitted slowly to the ground and then he looked at Sam. He took his thumb and rubbed it over her lips. He watched her mouth open and felt her tongue as it stroked against the tip of his thumb. Before he had realized it, she had sucked his thumb into her mouth, stroking it and sucking on it as if it were something she had been craving her whole life. He heard the low growl as it left his throat and had to suppress a smile. “So his Samantha could be a little wanton when she wanted to be. Hmm this may just come in handy!” Jack thought to himself. He pulled his thumb out of her mouth and watched her lips as they went into a pout.  
“Oh do not worry, my love. You will not have time to miss that, I assure you.”  
Jack squatted down and untied Sam’s boots, removing them and her socks one at a time. His hands caressed the bottom of her feet and though Sam was not one for foot play, she could not help the groan that escaped her. She had never known her feet could make her feel even more passionate then she already was. As Jack stood up from taking off her boots and socks, she watched him as his hands caressed her legs on their way up to where her pants were fastened. It was as if they were burning through the thick camouflage material to her skin underneath.  
Sam’s thoughts were racing. How much more could she take before she actually caught on fire and to her knowledge she still had on at least four pieces of clothing that had to be removed. And Jack still stood in front of her completely dressed. No, there was no way she was going to be able to last until she was completely bare. He would just have to suck it up but she was going to offer her assistance. She took her hands and begin to unbutton his shirt but was surprised when he was again standing completely straight and had captured her hands in one of his. The look on his face was more than a look of control – it was a look of pure domination. But then she realized he was unbuckling his belt so she must have gotten somewhere with him. However, the joy was short-lived when she realized what he had planned for the belt.  
Before Sam knew it both of her hands were enclosed in the belt and it had been looped around her wrists. Jack still held the belt with one hand and with the other, Sam felt as his fingers unsnapped her pants. She felt the pants come undone under his control as she felt her body coming undone. She was burning up and she could not even do anything about it. Each time she lifted her face to touch his lips, Jack would pull back. The pressure was building and things were getting way too much for her. And the fact that she could not touch him was too much, with all of the caressing and kissing that he had done to her, before Sam even knew what was happening, she was having an orgasm.  
Jack watched her as he held her. God she was so beautiful, even more with the blush of passion covering her body. By the time she had come back around, Jack had her pants completely off and she was lying on his bed. How she had gotten there and not remembered she did not question. The man’s touch could erase the smartest of brains and if he touched her one more time without allowing her to touch him, she was afraid that she would be lost forever.  
However, Jack was not quite ready to surrender any control over to Sam just yet.  
“Are you back with me, my beautiful Samantha? You must not wear yourself out so fast. After all – there is still three articles of clothing that must be removed before we can even start to begin our love making.”  
Jack could not contain his surprise at the words that escaped Sam’s mouth. Among a few words he would rather her not repeat in public – he also heard a couple of Holy Hannah’s. His girl was back with him, even if it was for just a short time, because the removing of clothing was only going to get more intimate from here on out. To be honest with himself, Jack just hoped he could continue to hold off. This was seeming to become harder for him also – literally.  
Jack needed to do something to make sure his blonde headed spitfire would not be tempted to use her hands before he was ready for her to. He knew that it was cruel to Sam to do this but he also knew that if she touched him in certain places, he would lose it and things would get way out of hand. He could not allow things to get out of hand until he knew for sure she was indeed healed. Then he had an idea. Sam watched him as he took his teeth and used them to lift her tank top, barely breathing as he skimmed them across her stomach. The intake of breath seemed to spur him on because she noticed that he was not quite as far away from her as he was once before. There was no mistaking now that he intentionally allowed his teeth to scrape her skin.  
Jack watched Sam’s face the closer he got to her breast. The tank top was being pulled tight by her laying on her back. When Jack’s teeth touched the lace of her bra, Sam felt Jack tug on the belt that still held her hands bound together above her head. Slowly he raised her up as he straddled her, using his other hand to remove her tank top completely until it became entangled with his belt. His eyes were captivated with what now was eye level with him. He could not resist the urge to take his tongue and swipe it across the satin that covered Sam’s nipple. In response, he watched as it strained against the soft material that still held it prisoner.  
Sam’s eyes jerked open as she inhaled a large breath.  
“I am sorry, love. I didn’t hear you. What was that again? Did you say something?”  
Jack took his took and swiped it across the other breast just to watch her reaction. He felt her stomach tighten beneath him and heard her as she begged him for release.  
“Jack, please! I don’t want to have another orgasm without you! Please, let my hands go so I can enjoy you also. Please!”  
The last please barely made it past her lips as Jack took them hungrily and kissed her with so much passion Sam just knew she was going to die. He lifted up and looked into her midnight blue eyes, darkened with lust and need.  
“But Samantha, if you touch me – just once this whole night will be over with. Don’t you understand? You have me already to the breaking point, one touch and I am out.”  
Jack took Sam’s lips again as he finished speaking. Opening her mouth to his insistent pushing, she felt his tongue as it wound around hers. Her lower region opening to the assault as if he had entered her there instead of her mouth.  
Jack moved his lips to her chin and then over to the spot right behind her ear. The spot that seemed to light even more passion inside of her, if that could be possible. He moved further down as his free hand released the snaps in the front of her bra. He watched her beautiful breast as they fell free from their imprisonment. He literally sucked in his breath. It seemed no matter how many times they made love, he was still awestruck at the beauty of the goddess that lay before him.  
Jack laid Sam’s arms back down above her head, causing her to lay straight down on the bed. With both hands he begin to caress her from the tops of her shoulders, down her arms and to her sides, catching those spots that made her stomach ache with pure desire and then he would start back up and catch her breast in both hands. Taking a breast in each, he made love to them with his hands, mouth and his tongue. Sam was beyond being able to comprehend exactly what was touching her or where she was being touched. At this point it just seemed as if she were consumed with an everlasting fire, and she knew she would explode at any minute. Then she felt coldness touch her breast where just seconds ago there was burning.  
Jack had moved from her breast and started a blazing trail with his lips down over her stomach, dipping his tongue into her belly button. However, he did not tarry there for he now saw his goal in site and that is where he headed. His hands slid the last garment off of her sweaty body and past her feet, onto the floor. Sam felt his lips kissing and caressing her mound and sucked in her breath. Jack felt the lightening that seemed to pass through Sam’s body when he inserted first one finger and then another inside of her, all the while his tongue paying homage to her small bundle of nerves. He knew she was close to exploding again and that was what he was waiting on. He lifted his eyes and watched as her body tightened into a ball, the inside of her feeling as if the walls were closing in around his fingers never to release them. He knew beyond any doubt that she would be able to take him and now was the time to prove that there had been a miracle performed on Thor’s ship.  
Jack stood at the foot of the bed and begin to undress. Sam was still lost in rapture and did not even realize that he had moved. “God, how lucky could I really be!” He thought to himself, thinking of how young and full of energy she was. “Please, don’t ever let me disappoint her” He prayed the words as he laid back on the bed and slowly covered her body with his own, being careful to keep as much weight as possible on his forearms which rested on each side of her head. He used his knees to separate her knees, which had pulled together tightly during her last throws of passion.  
Jack felt her responding as he placed himself closer to her opening. As he slowly begins to enter her, Sam’s eyes flew open. Jack stopped, afraid that he had hurt her, scared that he had been wrong and that she was not healed. But Sam was quick to quiet his fears.  
“Oh God, Jack, at last! Don’t stop whatever you do don’t stop or I swear I will kill you! Take me all the way my lover – I am all yours forever.”  
Jack would not have been able to hold back no matter how hard he may have wanted to. He claimed her, his length enclosed in her, surrounded by the warmth of her. He had to stop when he was completely in or he knew he would erupt if he moved even one more inch.  
“Jack, please…please release my hands. I need to touch you, feel you the way you have me.”  
Jack reached up and undid the twisted mess that consisted of her tank top and his belt. He felt more than saw Sam’s hands as they begin to caress his body. My God! He thought to himself How had she been able to handle his touches if they were anything like the ones she was giving him? He felt her hands as they rubbed his shoulders and muscled arms that were taunt with restraint as he used them to hold himself off of her. Then he felt them move down and caress his nipples and tangle her fingers through the silver chest hair. When she placed them upon his stomach, he could not help the shiver of want that made his stomach muscles ripple under her touch and he actually felt his cock jump inside of her in response. Sam felt it too, and tightened herself around him.  
Jack began to move again, both of them riding the wild flames of loves desire and need. It was not long before Jack felt himself getting ready to explode. He put his arms around Sam’s head with each hand resting on her shoulder, holding her because he knew the wave would be very huge for both of them. They begin to move more and more erratically, and soon the explosion left them both, leaving them floating somewhere between earth and heaven.  
Jack was the first to come completely around. He turned onto his back, bringing Sam with him. He lay there, mesmerized by the look that shone from her face. Soon her blue eyes were open and he saw the tears escaping hers just as they were his. He reached over and kissed the wetness away. The love he felt for her seemed to impossible to be real. Yet when he looked at her and whispered those three words to her, she looked as if he had given her everything her heart desired. When she responded back with the same words, he felt as if his chest would no longer be able to contain the love his heart now held. He watched her lids close as she gave into sleep and he pulled her closer to him, wrapping her like a caterpillar inside a cocoon. His beautiful Samantha, his heart, his love…his very breath! He pulled the sheet over their cooling bodies and drifted into a peaceful sleep.  
QQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQ  
Loki, Lya, Selmak and Orlin stood in complete silence, just starring at the object that lay before them. Thor walked over to the table and picked the infant up, wrapping a blanket of blue around the tiny body. The procedure had been completed and the patient checked. The infants mind was that of a one month old with no memories of anything the former man had. For anyone not knowing what had conspired in that room, they would have assumed the baby was a perfect one month old Tauri. If things went the way Thor felt they would go, this baby would be at home, in a loving family before the day was over.  
Thor still held onto the belief that giving the right upbringing, this child would not turn out to be the same man when he became older that he had been. He knew the parents would give him the correct upbringing, there was no doubt about that but could the love the for the child over shadow the hate for the man he used to be? There was only one way to find out. The time had come for the package to be delivered.  
QQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQ  
Jack woke up to strange sensations going on around his belly button. Lifting his eyelids just enough so he could see without her knowing he was awake, he watched as she made her way further down his body. The sheet that had covered them had slipped past his hips and the view that Sam had of Jack was enough to take her breath away. Her hand enclosed around him and he could not stop the intake of breath. Just as her lips encircled him, she raised her eyes and dark blue met black and the desire to take him all the way grew.  
Sam’s tongue wreaked havoc on the tip of him and then she would go down and come back up, so that she licked the underside on the way up. His hands fisted in the sheets when she scraped him with her teeth and the look she gave him when he inhaled his breath was one of pure payback. Her hand tightened around the base of his erection as she took his sack in the other hand and massaged it, allowing her lips, teeth and mouth to roam freely all over him from the tip to the bottom and back up. There was no way he was going to last much longer if she kept this up and he would not allow her to go lacking.  
“Samantha, I am not as young as you are, my love. I will not cum again for a good long while if you cause me to have an orgasm this way, and I would prefer to have you around me when I blow.”  
At that very moment, Sam’s teeth scraped again as her hand squeezed the base of him and Jack nearly jumped off of the bed. Before Sam had a chance to do anything else, she had been lifted and placed right on top of him, sheathing him in her warmness. God, she had not realized just how hot and ready she was until Jack slipped all the way in with no problem.  
Jack allowed Sam to take the lead and ride him she did. It was not long however before her movements became more and more frenzied and Jack knew she was going to lose it at any moment. Sam felt the thumb as it rubbed against her clit and before she knew it she was riding the wave of ecstasy. Jack flipped Sam over and begin to ride her, causing her orgasm to seem to last forever until at last he was riding one with her. They felt as if they were riding a tsunami heading for a shore. Soon the wave ended and they lay, holding each other.  
After a while, they made it to the shower and after soft caresses and kisses they were washed, dressed and ready to face a new day. They left Jack’s room and headed towards the commissary were they met up with Daniel, Janet and Teal’c. After a long, leisurely breakfast, Janet insisted on taking Sam back to the infirmary with her for a check-up, ignoring Sam’s and Jack’s protest that she was fine.  
Jack watched Sam as she got undressed and started to put the gown on. He knew this was a waste of time and it bothered him that no one believed him and Sam that there had been a miracle. Did Janet really think that he was so needy that he would jeopardize Sam’s health and force himself on her. Sam knew what he was thinking and she reached over and took his hand – asking him with her eyes not to say anything. Janet had to be shown by science -the same way he at one time would have believed.  
After the second ultra sound and before she could start the third one, Jack gripped Janet’s hand and stopped her from applying gel again to Sam’s stomach. He looked her in the eyes and said as calm as he could.  
“It is true, Janet. I would never hurt Sam intentionally – I would not have had intercourse with her last night if I had thought for one minute that she was still harmed on the inside. There was a miracle performed on Thor’s ship. Not by the Asgard, or my ancient gene or even the Nox. This miracle was performed by God – and when He performs one it does not revert back. Sam is healed and she is healed completely. We will make love and have dozens of little Sam’s running around the house.”  
Sam and Janet both choked on his last sentence but soon the two ladies were hugging each other.  
“Then I wish you both the best and from what I can see, there is no reason why you should not get your wish, Colonel. And let’s do hope it is a lot of little Sam’s – I don’t think the world is ready for O’Neill’s mixed with Carter brains!”  
Sam laughed with that last statement from Janet, who was leaving the examining room to go find Daniel. Sam was putting on the last article of clothing when the chevrons lit up in the gate room and the alarms went off. Jack helped Sam get dressed and they raced towards the gate room, praying that it was the Asgard with news of what had happened with Kinsey. By the time they had reached the gate room, everyone else who had stayed on the base the night before and had anything to do with what was going on was already standing at the end of the ramp. They cleared a path for Sam and Jack who were soon standing beside General Hammond and President Hayes. Teal’c, Janet, Daniel, Davies and Reynolds were also standing there waiting to see what the Asgard had come up with.  
Jack watched as Thor, Lya, Jacob and Bratac headed down the ramp. Then he saw someone else and he could not help the instinct to pull Sam closer to him. She stifled a laugh, but could not stop her heart from swelling with more love then before. However, Jack’s attention was soon drawn away from Orlin and back towards Thor. He was holding something in his arms – something in a blue blanket. Something that seemed to be wiggling and making soft noises. Jack got closer to Sam – but this time because he could not help the fright that seemed to overwhelm him. There was no way they would have done that – not to Kinsey. He remembered too well being cloned by Loki but this baby was not cloned. This baby was real – this was the real Robert Kinsey as an infant.  
“My Tauri friends, as Colonel O’Neill has already assumed, the infant I hold used to be Robert Kinsey. You and your Tauri friends have always believed and has taught me to believe that if the child is brought up in the right way, in the right family with love and discipline and the belief of the One who is above us all, that the child can become a wonderful adult. I believe this can also be true in the case of this baby. I have brought him back to you, to allow you to raise this baby in the way he should be raised. Without hate – if you cannot love him – do not take him. He must be loved and must have a new beginning. This is my choice for his punishment. I believe he can make a great member of your society if he is brought up in the belief that he needs to be brought up in. I am asking one of you three couples that are standing in front of me – you who have been hurt the most and yet have so much to gain with the forgiveness and love that this child needs.”  
Jack turned his back on the crowd standing there. He could not do it. God, was he a bad person, it was just a small baby but he could not bring himself to even look at the child without thinking of what had happened to Sam.  
Reynolds looked over at his wife but she shook her head. No, not with what they had gone through – they needed to get their own girls back together and stronger before another baby was brought in. It did not matter who the baby was, there was too much to still get straighten first.  
Janet looked over at Daniel and he looked back at her. The choice had been made, they both knew this. Daniel knew what being alone could do to a child. It was true that he was five when his parents died but the moving from foster home to foster home had almost messed Daniel up. If he had not been taken in by the last couple and truly loved – he knew he could have ended up as messed up as Kinsey had been.  
Thor held the blonde haired blue eyed baby boy out to Janet and before long everyone had forgotten who the baby had been and had accepted it for the innocent child it was. Jack even took a closer look at the cooing face and could not help the smirk that crossed his. Just wait until Janet woke Daniel the first night to change a diaper – God, how he wished he could be a fly on the wall. He knew how hard the man was to get out of bed when he did not want to!  
The Christmas morning had started with new beginnings. A chance to start over for some and a chance of a new life with forgiveness for others. Love was strong in the SGC that morning and before long everyone was celebrating the Tauri Holiday of Christmas, family and friends included whether earth born or from another planet. Life was good – it would always have its ups and downs but as long as they stuck together with God in the center – they would survive. Always!


	26. Epilogue - Christmas of Peace!

Christmas of Peace!

Jack stood at the edge of the woods amazed at the site before him. He and Teal’c had just come back to the cabin dragging the huge tree between the both of them. It had taken him and Teal’c nearly all morning and half the day to pick the one they wanted for their fifth Christmas together. Janet sat on the porch, holding the newest member of the Jackson clan, little two months old Jenel, with Cassie beside her taken care of her four-year-old brother. Jonathan saw Jack and was sprinting towards him before Cassie could even stop him. Jack had thought that it would be hard to love the little blonde headed boy but with time all he saw was Daniel and Janet’s child. He could not believe it when they had christened the baby Jonathan Daniel. His heart seemed to melt before the child had ever reached the age of one and Jonathan had soon won Jack’s heart even more than Cassie had.  
What had made Jack stop was the sight of the tousled brown headed little girls that lay in the snow beside their mother. The two little girls were attempting to make snow angels like their mother but could not stop wiggling in the cold wet stuff for theirs to come out quite right. Faith and Grace saw their father and tried to get up. The two-year-old twins were determined to make it to their father, waddling on their chubby legs and going as fast as the cumbersome snow and their clothing would allow them. Laughter filled Jacks eyes as he made it to all three children and had room for all of them in his outstretched arms.   
Teal’c was taking the tree towards the cabin, smiling at the warm scene before him. His friend needed this, had needed this for a long time and he was glad to see each of them with their own families. His son and his son’s family would be here tomorrow and his heart grew at the thought. Everyone rushed into the house to begin the decorations. General Hammond, Major Davies and his family, Ferretti and his family and of course Reynolds and his three ladies would be coming tomorrow to celebrate another Christmas with each other.  
The fighting was not completely over. There was still power hungry Goa’uld’s out there that thought they should rule the universe. But for tonight, there was peace in the O’Neill household, there was peace on Earth and everything was warm and cozy inside and out.


End file.
